Where my RazzBowlers at? No, not you fine-looking gentlemen in the front in your bowler hats — y’all simmer down with your fancy headwear. I’m talking about the roughest, toughest imaginary sports managers out there: my RazzBowl peeps. I’m gonna need your powers of manifestation to propel me two spots ahead into the final cutline. Come on, will Tyler Conklin to fantasy glory! OK, OK, my team looks like The Walking Dead, but at least I’m a survivor. Part of my “still in it to win it” status derives from the fact that I get to write this sweet “injury report” every week. As long as y’all are still showing up, I’ll show up and help out. If we run out of steam and I enter my full winter hibernation, then feel free to swing back to this article as the weeks pass and ask questions. Unlike your thankless dog that will wag its tail for any ol’ Joe that drops a handful of steak, I’m still here for you! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Skeptics of head coach Jeff Saturday certainly have fodder after last night’s performance. The 3-7 Steelers headed to Indianapolis to visit the 4-6-1 Colts for the Week 12 Monday Night Football matchup. Expectations were low, and the Colts certainly delivered on those low expectations. NFL MNF Week 12 NFL MNF Week 12 NFL MNF Week […]

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I’m a big fan of the Motor City Kitties. Their 40+ year continuous tank job has set the stage for many a successful Vikings team. Throughout early 2022, the Lions have given fantasy managers so many gifts, and so many headaches. On Sunday, the Detroit Lions blew past the the 7-2 New York Giants, improving to 4-6 on the year and hunting down second place in the NFC North. How’d they do it? The way we all expected: 3 touchdowns from Jamaal Williams and Justin Jackson finishing as the leading rusher. Sigh. At least we’ve got Amon-Ra St. Brown cosplaying as Scrooge with his targets. Tis the season! 

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Twitter was about to shut down the other night when the world realized that Adam Schefter is not just a media reporter, but a utility for the public. He carries the burden of football newsmaking the same way a lineman — no, not the kind you see in football — wakes up at 2 in the morning during a thunderstorm to raise his bucket to the sky and keep the lights on. Schefter’s tweets keep the social media world afloat, and we thank him for keeping Twitter safe for another night. 

Let’s see what Schefter had for us today [loads Twitter, gets distracted by picture of Grey wearing aviators]. Here we go! Ja’Marr Chase is still out. The frack? I thought I was here for the public good? Who am I supposed to start now? 

Maybe you’re like me and riding the Tyler Boyd train this week. Maybe you’re not like me and have some healthy running backs. Either way, let’s see if we can save your team as the playoffs approach.

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I’ve been a Vikings fan for a near-intolerable three decades of my life. I’m pretty critical of Kirk Cousins, which is justified and a taek that everybody likes to hear week in and week out, right? The 2022 NFL season gave us several of the worst games in recent and distant memory, but Bills/Vikings games lit up the internet with one of the most dramatic final 2 minutes of regulation followed by a dramatic end zone interception to finish the game in the Vikings’ favor. If only every quarter could be the fourth quarter. 

Maybe one day your team will be as cardiac-stopping as mine. Let’s see what else happened for week 10 of 2022 fantasy football. 

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I mean I’m no Grey’s Anatomy expert. Wait, actually I am! Remember that time Meredith Grey un-died for the sixth time after being saved by her third surprise half-sister? I suppose after watching 15 seasons of a medical drama, I’m probably an expert on health issues, such as the [checks notes] ulnar collateral ligament. Gross! Why did I ever agree to do the injury report if I can’t even spell out body parts? OK, EWB, time to soldier through, just like Meredith’s biological sister when she…oh! I almost spoiled McSteamy for you! So, instead of waxing poetic about my favorite soap opera / medical drama, let’s jump in to the stuff you’re actually here for: discussions of frayed elbow ligaments. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?