Tis the season, right? Unless you’re not of the xmas-religion affinity. I wish I had something for you but I have zero knowledge of Decker-related things I could say about Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and all the other holiday things I could talk about here. Happy Winter Solstice? What about Festivus for the rest of us? Don’t leave, I swear I’ll be more inclusive! The holidays are much like ordering a large pizza for a room full of college students: all drunk and stoned and should be doing their homework. Wait, no! Well yes but more so you can’t please everyone. No way no how. They don’t usually let you order pizza with different toppings on every piece. There’s also something else that doesn’t always make people happy: the Denver passing attack. It was a concern coming into the year that there would be a few guys left out in the cold most of the year, if not the whole year. Well much like life, those Broncos have ebbed and flowed. Early on, it was Welker. Then DT got it turned on for a stretch. The Orange Julius had been oddly one of the more consistent of the slick quatro (yeah, it’s not their nickname; just made it up) but he’s been out with a leg issue the last two weeks. So in the stead of an underused Welker and a missing OJ, someone had to step up and on this day it was Eric Decker who finished with 8 receptions, 174 receiving yards and a whopping 4 TDs. He only had 3 total coming into Sunday on the year. The end line for Decker is gonna look fine on the surface. He’ll go well over 1,000 yards receiving and may still end with 10 TDs. But I give the fair warning that I’ll probably say the same thing about Welker when the season’s over and I think we both know how that has been of late. Moving into 2013, these two are gonna go much higher than I’m gonna be willing to pay for in most leagues due to inconsistency. Sure it’s nice when this happens but how many of you experienced this Decker explosion on your bench? Exactly, there was a good reason he was there to start the day. Don’t forget that when 2014 hits. In other news from week 13 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…
Josh Gordon – He missed the first two games of the year. He was 8th amongst wide receivers in scoring on the year in ESPN standard scoring and 9th in Yahoo PPR leagues. AND, at least in the yahoo leagues, he’s gonna creep up in to at least the top 6 and possibly top 5 after dropping that huge 10/261/2 line. That’s back to back 200+ yard receiving days for Gordon with Weeden throwing to him. That’s pushing the laws of physics on some level. Newton’s about ready to throw an apple at someone in heaven out of frustration.
Alshon Jeffery – Brandon Marshall who? This year for Alshon has been a coming out part to the nth degree and today was one that surely helped a few of his owners break through into the playoffs: 12/249/2. I’m sure both Gordon and Alshon were competing for my lead post. Little did they know Eric would steal my wordpress heart.
Ben Tate – I’ll admit, I had him left for dead coming into Sunday. He was banged up, most likely playing for a contract somewhere else and the team has a solid young guy in Dennis Johnson just waiting for his chance behind him. Guess he’ll have to wait a bit longer after Tate went on a Ben’der: 22/102/3. This was a game played in typical Texans fashion. Lead in the first half, slips in the second half, loses in final quarter but up to that point, it was a team playing inspired for a returned Kubiak. I’d consider this a byproduct coupled with NE’s poor rush defense. Consider it Fantasy Football alchemy. Make sure and not let it get in your eyes.
Adrian Peterson – Just checking in like he’s the famous dead sea tupperware: 211 yards on 35 carries. PBBBT! Ahhh, still good.
Brandon Weeden – Threw for 370 yards and 3 TDs to go with his typical, 3 TO special (2 INT/1 FBL). He was even kind enough to kick the football through the back of the end zone for a safety just to complete his bad footballitry degree. BTW, go minus off all of Gordon’s stats from Weeden’s for a second just to get a feel for how lucky you should feel if you started him. Mom told you not to play in the trash can when you were younger. You’re lucky you don’t have pink eye.
Michael Crabtree – He has returned. It wasn’t a stat-busting day by any means with 2 receptions for 68 yards but it definitely changed the dynamics for Kaep whose 1 read and done ways doesn’t work too well when you’ve only got 2 valid players to throw to. Kaep might be gearing up for a playoff run for his fantasy owners to make up for his year to date. Hold him to it!
Donald Brown – Welp, they finally did it. Trent Richardson was officially bumped down the depth chart due to inconsistency, mediocrity, paucity and other words that reference how much he has sucked. So of course Brown starts the game off with a 1.7 ypc average. Hint, hint Colts: it still ain’t just T-Rich. Brown bounced back, of course, gaining 64 total yards while chucking in a TD to seal the game for the Colts. Moving forward, Brown is nothing more than a flex until Indy itself corrects their offensive problems.
Zach Ertz – Well hello there, nicest TE matchup for your FA streaming needs in a long while. Ertz finished with 3/68/25 and a quick schedule peek tells me to sit him against the Lions and start him in weeks 15 and 16 against the Bears and Vikings. Struggling with Jordan Cameron syndrome? Dealing with a limp Delanie Walker? Tell the good fantasy doctor where it Ertz and we’ll cure you.
CJ Spiller – CJ starts the game off busting a 77 yard play. He’s back! He’s back! Then about 5 carries later, helped himself off the field limping gingerly on his ankle. Oh crap! Oh crap! Then he came back out and finished the game with 15/149/1 on the ground. He’s back! He’s back! But he’s still dealing with the same problem that has hampered him all year. Oh crap! Oh cra…ok, you get the point. Problem with CJ all year has been his health. He reeled a run like this off against the Browns many moons ago when everyone and their mother said to sit him and he’s doing it again. I don’t trust broken goods that were already turning into boom/bust plays anyways to begin with.
Josh McCown – Finished with 355 passing yards and 2 passing TDs and was the 4th best QB on the weekend heading into SNF. So why am I so disappointed? Oh, because it was against the worst secondary in the NFL. Take those 2 TD passes, double them and maybe push the 355 up to 415 and then we’re talking. What, you think you’re the only unreasonable fantasy football player?
Darrius Heyward-Bey – Hey, guess what? No really, guess! No, not that. No, definitely not that. Ok, you’re officially gross. No, the great news is after another game of multiple drops Da’Rick Rodgers was subbed in for D(rops)H(is)B(alls). Oh you own him? I’m sorry, still doesn’t contain my elation. WHOOPEE! Moving forward, we’re probably going to see more of Rodgers and Brazill in DHB’s place of snaps and looks. Let’s see if there’s a correlation with Luck’s numbers trending upward while we’re at it. You know, for scientific reasons.
Aaron Rodgers – He says he’ll be playing next Sunday. Reports say he won’t play again this year. I still say that mustache on him was just odd. Oh and I side with the naysayers and still think we’ve seen the last of Rodgers for 2013. When did I say that you ask? Follow me into the links of Buy/Sell columns past when I suggested you SELL A-Rod. Hope it turns in your favor but I’m thinking Rodgers is effectively George Wendt’s sausage pillow for the rest of the year. I promise you, as lewd as that last sentence sounded, the image is SFW.
Julian Edelman – Two straight weeks with 100 yards…I almost believe…almost. Kenbrell went down early and left a lot of targets to be had and Julian took advantage. He may be back in the PPR WR3 circle of trust down the stretch but we all know his ceiling makes him almost not worth it given we’ve seen the floor.
Roddy White – Oh if only this were week 1, Roddy. Finished with 10 receptions and 143 yards. Today’s output is 40% of his yardage output now on the year. Yes, it’s week 13. No, you can’t have a do-over. Yes, we can talk about it later. All I ask is don’t make a scene now.
Montee Ball – Uh oh…yeah, we kinda talked about this around here. Ball went for 117 yards on 13 carries as he and Moreno had near identical touches in the game (Moreno 19, Ball 14). The Broncos don’t care about your fantasy playoff schedule, they care about their real playoff schedule and they want to keep Moreno healthy. I’d expect this trend to continue. Trust me when I say Knowshon Moreno feels deeply for you.
Ladarius Green – When does 2 catches for 45 yards and a TD put you in the top ten for a position? When said position in TE, of course. Dynasty teams should go take a cold shower. Antonio Gates owners should take a shower cry maybe if this becomes more of the trend. My perfect world has both Gates and Green in plenty of 2-TE sets down the stretch. Think it would help the team overall best. But what do I know? I just typed about Vernon’s dong yank. My credentials are, uh, lacking.
Stevan Ridley – Was a surprise healthy scratch for the Pats as LeGarrette Blount, James Develin and Brandon Bolden combined for 2 TDs on 19 total touches and 80 yards. The biggest producer was, of course, Blount. Yes, the same Blount that also fumbled last week. We’ve all been Hoodie-Winked.
Ryan Tannehill – Took advantage of a dead team walking – and a very ugly secondary – for 331 yards and 2 TDs along with an INT and 22 yards rushing. As much as I want to love Tannehill, I can’t escape crazy-eyed egghead Philbin and his stupid playcalling to back him from week to week.
Willis McGahee – McGreyhee is now officially back in the RB mix: 14/57/1. That RB mix is 1 part Ogre, one part Fozzy, and now one part Willy. Go look it up on drinksmixer.com. I think it’s called a Brown eye.
Steven Jackson – Went for 84 yards on the ground and 2 TDs on 23 carries. See, this is the guy I told you to draft! Don’t worry, I’ll let myself out. What was that, you started the Buffalo defense as well and you live on the 13th floor you say? Even better, where’s your patio? *Skydives* IIII REGRETTTTT EVERYTHINNNNGGGGGG
Robert Griffin, III – I keep trying to quit you and you keep reeling me back in: 207/1 through the air and 88 rushing yards. Obvi, the rushing yards are the linchpin to the fantasy production and it’s been all over the place this year. But I swear they read last weeks blog about Alfred…he caught 3 passes! Oh who am I kidding, the Shannys don’t read…
Andre Brown – Scored 2 TDs on what would otherwise be considered a very mediocre night…what you thought I was gonna list stats? Nah, was talking about the game. Washington barely edged NYG out in punts on the night at 7 to 6. I was hoping for overtime just to see that battle rage on.