After the NFL Scouting Combine this past year, much was made of D.K. Metcalf’s rippling muscles. My boss was talking up the Ole Miss product’s biceps. My girlfriend was enamored with his bustling chest. Even Momma-Donk called to ask about D.K.’s glutes. But what nobody talked about were his bulging calves. That is until week 9, when the Buccaneers defense was hypnotized by Metcalf’s leg beef.

The entire Seahawks offense took full advantage of this calf-muscle-induced hypnosis with Russell Wilson going 29/43 for 378 yards and 5 touchdowns—he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the season—Tyler Lockett snagged 13 catches for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 6 touchdowns on the season—and the sexy calved beast himself, D.K. Metcalf, hauled in 6 catches for 153 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Buccaneer defense will attempt to snap out of the trance before gazing into Kyler Murray’s sparkling eyes next week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Mike Evans – 12 catches for 180 yards and his 7th touchdown. Pigskinonator had Evans pegged as it’s #1 wide receiver for this week. This robot is smoking hot. I mean it’s literally smoking, someone throw some water on that machine! 

Chris Godwin – 7 catches for 61 yards. After catching 6 touchdowns in the first 5 weeks, Godwiener has softened recently. He’s been kept out of the endzone each of the last three games, but the targets are steady and he remains a WR1 in the Donkey Book.  

Ronald Jones – 18 carries for 67 yards, 2 catches for 15 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Ronald McDonald Jones is now eating all of Peyton Barber’s (4 carries for 15 yards) Happy Meals.

Dare Ogunbowale – 1 carry for 1 yard, 1 catch for 12 yards and his 2nd touchdown. I told you to pick up Ogunbowale prior to week 1. Oh he hasn’t been good? And he now has 5 carries for -2 yards on the season you say? That doesn’t even seem possible. I’ll go punish myself now.

O.J. Howard – Inactive (hamstring). Accidentally drafting O.J. Simpson instead of O.J. Howard was the best move of my entire draft season.

Chris Carson – 16 carries for 105 yards and 2 catches for 28 yards. Several folks asked me whether they should sell Carson prior to the 2nd half of the season due to his tough schedule. My answer was always, “not unless you’re getting a top 10 running back in return.” Carson is all but match up proof at this point because of his steady workload in the dynamic Seattle offense.   

Marvin Jones – 8 catches for 126 yards and his 6th touchdown. Also his 5th touchdown in the last 3 games.  A little window dressing because 4 of those touchdowns came in his career week 7 game. But Marv did see 10 targets in this one and the gunslinger, Matthew Stafford (26/42 for 406 yards and 3 touchdowns—he now has 19 touchdowns on the season), has been looking his way often.

Kenny Golladay – 4 catches for 132 yards and his 7th touchdown. Three weeks ago I said, “Kenny G put down the sax and picked up the football. He’s a high end WR2 and an elite JazzSax1 moving forward.” I may have sold Golladay short. He’s putting up WR1 numbers and he’s easily the top JazzSax in the league. 

J.D. McKissic – 4 carries for 32 yards, 3 catches for 40 yards and his 1st touchdown. In my RazzBowl Revelations post I mentioned buying McKissic in PPR leagues after Kerryon’s season went wayward in week 7. It could be an evenish split between Ty Johnson (9 carries for 29 yards and 3 catches for 7 yards) and McKissic moving forward. Paul Perkins (3 carries for 16 yards) is also in town but the Giants can confirm Perkins isn’t good.

Josh Jacobs – 28 carries for 120 yards and his 5th and 6th touchdowns. Last week I said, “There might be a little buy-low window cracked open here for the rookie who was bothered by a shoulder injury this week, but still posted 4.4 yards per carry against a solid Texans run defense. I like him as a high end RB2 moving forward and Rest of Season Player Rater actually has him pegged as RB#6. The robot just had to one up me!” And that’s me quoting me talking about Rudy’s tool.

Hunter Renfrow – 6 catches for 54 yards and his 2nd touchdown. It’s Hunting season! Derek Carr (20/31 for 289 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 13 touchdowns on the season) has been finding Hunter in the cross-hairs. 

Davante Adams – 7 catches for 41 yards in his long awaited return from turf toe. 7 catches is nice, but only 41 yards? Are we sure they got all that turf out of his toe? 

Aaron Jones – 8 carries for 40 yards and 1 catch for -1 yard. I only bring Jonesy up because I traded him in a dynasty league this week (got two 1st rounders and a 2nd rounder for him) to a friend of my named Mark The Toilet Fart Master. Mark is currently working on a manuscript expounding his theories on why toilet farts—flatulence produced while on a toilet in a public restroom—are the best kind of farts. Brilliant, brilliant man.

Jamaal Williams – 2 carries for 10 yards and 6 catches for 39 yards and his 6th touchdown. JWill has a receiving touchdown in each of the last 4 games along with 17 receptions. I’m trying to trade him to The Toilet Fart Master in exchange for a sneak peek at his manuscript. Way ahead of his time.

Melvin Gordon – 20 carries for 80 yards, 3 catches for 29 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. It’s the first time Gordon has reached 20 carries since his week 5 return and I don’t expect it to become a trend as long as Austin Ekeler (12 carries for 70 yards and 4 catches for 23 yards) is healthy. Still, Melvin deserves a stock up after this performance; call him a mid to high-end RB2 moving forward.

Mike Williams – 3 catches for 111 yards. The 29th receiver named Mike Williams in NFL history still doesn’t have a touchdown this season after catching 10 last year. I’ve been saying buy-low for weeks and the window still might be cracked even after his first career 100 yard outing. A multi-touchdown game is coming any week now.

Hunter Henry – 7 catches for 84 yards. Two Hunters in one write-up, what are the chances? Bambi’s mom better watch out.

Brandon Allen – 12/20 for 193 yards and his 1st and 2nd career touchdowns. The Jaguars 2016 6th round draft pick took over for the injured Joe Flacco (neck) this week and was an immediate upgrade. Know who else was a Jaguars 6th round draft pick? Uncle Rico Minshew! 

Phillip Lindsay – 9 carries for 92 yards and his 5th touchdown. A nice bounce back for the one true stallion of the Broncos backfield as Royce Freeman (5 carries for 15 yards) came crashing down to earth after finding the endzone in back to back games. Lindsay is still the horse you want in the Denver stable.

Noah Fant – 3 catches for 115 yards and his 2nd touchdown. Noah was Fantastic in this one. Sorry, it’s getting late. Most of the rookie’s yardage came on a 75 yard touchdown grab, but he had a knack for those kind of plays in college and maybe there’s some chemistry brewing with his new QB.

Courtland Sutton – 5 catches for 56 yards and his 4th touchdown. Sutton was already a solid WR2 with Flacco running the show. The Sutton ceiling is very high.

Baker Mayfield – 27/42 for 273 yards and his 7th touchdown. At least he didn’t add to his interception total which had already piled up to 12 on the year. Maybe Baker should to spend less time cleaning up his friends’ nasty socks and more time practicing.

Jarvis Landry – 6 catches for 51 yards and his 1st touchdown. Landry saw 13 targets in this one compared to Odell Beckham Jr’s (5 catches for 87 yards) 6 targets. Turns out OBJ was the guy who left that mystery sock for Baker to clean up. Don’t ask what he used that sock for.

Lamar Jackson – 17/23 for 163 yards, 16 carries for 61 yards, with his 12th passing touchdown and his 4th and 5th rushing touchdowns. I contacted Yahoo to see when they’ll be giving LJax running back eligibility, should be any day now.

Mark Ingram – 15 carries for 115 yards, 2 catches for 29 yards. Even while being vultured by Gus Edwards (7 carries for 27 yards and his 1st touchdown), Ingram still puts up solid fantasy numbers. So glad I drafted Kerryon Johnson, Joe Mixon, Devonta Freeman and Sony Michel over him.

Tom Brady – 30/46 for 285 yards and his 14th touchdown. Have you seen Living With Yourself on Netflix? If not, you won’t get the following reference but the show’s worth a watch . . . Brady’s 7th clone isn’t quite as good as the 6th clone. 

Mohamed Sanu – 10 catches for 81 yards and his 2nd touchdown. I said at some point on the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast that I wasn’t buying into Sanu with the move to New England this year. Hmmm maybe I shouldn’t bring stuff like that up.

James White – 9 carries for 39 yards, 2 catches for 48 yards and his 2nd touchdown as Sony Michel (4 carries for 18 yards, 1 catch for 12 yards) owners cried themselves to sleep. On that note, I have some crying and sleeping to get to.

Find Donkey Teeth on Twitter. Subscribe to his podcast: The Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast on Itunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts

  1. san fran DST says:
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    Good Morning!
    I want to get a jump on week 10 DST’s in a league with no waiver wire. I have San Fran’s DST, appears they’re a little banged up & less attractive, especially with Seattle coming into town. just role with SF, or are they’re some low owned DST’s worth a look?

    Love the weekly recaps, keep it up!
    thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Thanks for reading!

      I think I’d stick with San Fran at home unless Baltimore was dropped in your league since they were up against the Patriots this past week.

  2. M says:
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    Lamar Jax getting RB eligibility? Sounds too good to be true!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Haha it is too good to be true!

  3. steve stevenson says:
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    Need to drop a bench WR in 0.5 PPR. Should easily make playoffs, so I’m prioritizing upside in wks 14-16. Who’s the drop out of Shepard, Gordon, Parker and Watkins?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d lose Parker

      • The Harrow says:
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        going shepard here. a guy who just missed at least 2 weeks with concussion, than AT PRACTICE it gets bad enough to re-put him into out with concussion after he already passed the tests is a bad bet for anything. i’d think he’s got a nice chance of being out for a month or all year here. parker meanwhile just got his targets bumped up with p-will out all year now, parker already has been useful for the last month or so and that was being behind p-will. also g.tate is sucking shepard’s value here too.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Agreed. Didn’t know Preston was out for the year when the question was asked.

          • The Harrow says:
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            oh yeah, forgot that was announced later than early in day.

  4. 1rishmike says:
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    Hey DT love the articles you make my Monday’s great!!

    Redraft PPR, 4-5 must win mode, Trying to deal my “bye players” what RB would you take straight up for Aaron Jones in which the other owner thinks he is getting a deal?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Thanks 1rishmike!

      Maybe try for a Derrick Henry, Marlon Mack or Josh Jacobs? It’s hard to say what the other owner will think coming off the stinker but last week those woulda seemed like great deals for the other guy…

  5. Phil B.

    Phil B. says:
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    With you on Sanu…still don’t trust him.

    Mark The Toilet Fart Master is right on. If you haven’t let a bomb go in a public restroom (airports are great) and had someone else in another stall say “damn” then you haven’t lived

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Mark has developed the “4 A’s of toilet farts”:

      Anonymity
      Amplification
      Audience
      Assurance

      Needless to say, he’s a genius.

    • For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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      trust sanu more now than at ATL though. i don’t buy some big blow up of course. having a really loud shit is also funny, even better than the fart. also hilarious when in a large public restroom (think airport or casino) and somebody has a REALLY loud violent shit, and more than 1 other guy loudly laughs.

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Might need to get Mark in here to clarify, but I think the loud aspect of said shit qualifies as a toilet fart. It’s gas being expelled while on the toilet which creates the loudness.

        • For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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          yeah but the splatter of shit (loud itself) ALONG with the farts is the extra funny part.

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            Ah the splatter noise, of course

  6. For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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    lost p-will in 12 team super flex PPR (keep 4 per year no round costs). i already had WR injury issues all year (fuller, d.adams, dede (who sounds back this week at least and i got lucky just happening to have pascal right when his value shot up with hilton out))

    1. add deebo or a.wilson or one of reynolds (cooks sounds fine though), agholor, cole (would be dropped when dede is back). i have this:

    QB: wentz, trubisky, rudolph
    RB (2) AAron, mack, wilkins, d-wash (can be dropped for ty mont, sounds like bell could be hurt, but somebody’ll likely over bid me on that one), lindsay, burkhead
    WR (3): adams, c.davis, pascal, j.brown, p.will, harry
    TE (1): kelce, hock, herndon (from the 2 regular flexes i can use 2 of these and they seem better than a lot of the FA WR’s for sure)
    2 regular flexes
    1 super flex
    IR (3): fuller, dede

    2. guessing with that crappy crop of FA WR outside of dropping p.will for somebody i should hold hock/herndon or should i drop one of them when dede is back (probably this week). could also drop d-wash for dede when he’s back (but my RB depth isn’t good, only 3 guys i’d want to start at all without an injury to somebody).

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. I’d go with Reynolds. Positive news on Cooks but still his second concussion. They be extra cautious with him, may miss several weeks.

      2. Yes I’d hold the TE’s unless you can deal one of Hock or Herndon. Would be fine moving on from D-Wash. If Ty Mont goes for more than you could afford, Bilal Powell might be worth a try. McKissic owned I assume?

      • For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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        yeppers, mckissic owned.

        • For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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          3. for different PPR league, mckissic over gore or ty-jo? quite weak at RB in this league, having lost carry-on. have mack, barkley, gore (FINALLY losing playing time to singletary, it only took over half a season), ty-jo and guice in lone IR slot. whoever this ty-jo or gore spot turns into guice gets it later likely.

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            Think I’d lose Gore but coin flip territory there

  7. Derrick says:
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    PPR league…

    Sutton and Mahomes for Kupp and Boyd.

    Which side?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      It’s fair. Depends who your QB is without Mahomes and what your WR depth looks like.

      I’m a big Mahomes believer so lean that way without more info.

      • The Harrow says:
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        i’d only do this one if at least one, preferably both, are true:
        1. you have super weak WR’s (say you lost theilen and were weak anyway, or hilton)
        2. have another top 5 type QB besides mahomes (only way i’d think this was easily drafted if not keeper league would be mahomes + l-jax)

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