If you aren’t familiar with the history between Justin Herbert and Marcus Mariota, I’ll clue you in on the story. Back in middle school the two NFL quarterbacks actually played on the same youth hockey team. It was a rag tag bunch of kids, coached by a down on his luck attorney with a drinking problem. That’s the plot to Mighty Ducks, Hebert and Mariota played college football for the Oregon Ducks, and not even at the same time. Alright, fine random italicized voice, you win. You always win. The point is, they’re both ducks! And one of these ducks quacked just a little louder on Thursday night: rookie Justin Herbert. The kid went off in primetime going 22/32 for 314 yards, 4 carries for 14 yards, 2 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing touchdown–he now has 27 passing touchdowns on the year, tying the all-time rookie record. Unfortunately, the quarterback he’s just tied isn’t a legend like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, it’s Baker Mayfield. Wah, wah. It’s an impressive feat regardless, and Herbert still has two full games remaining. He’s going to be good for a long time. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Austin Ekeler – 13 carries for 60 yards, 4 catches for 19 yards. The temptation to use this post as a therapeutic venting session is strong. My fantasy football therapist can’t get me in this week due to COVID demand increases. We knew Ekeler was on a bit of a snap count coming into Thursday night, but did Anthony Lynn really have to hand all the goal line carries to Kalen Ballage (8 carries for 11 yards and his 2nd touchdown)? 8 carries for 11 yards! 11 yards! I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Keenan Allen – 1 catch for 17 yards. About 10 minutes prior to kick off, the Fox pregame camera briefly caught a glimpse of Allen in warmups and he advised fantasy owners, “Don’t sit me.” Whoops! At least he was being sincere, I think.

Mike Williams – 2 catches for 22 yards. Like Allen, Big Mike didn’t play very many snaps, but it was also a bit of a surprise that he even played at all. And Williams still might’ve hauled in a touchdown if it weren’t for blatant end zone pass interference which set up the Ballage vulture touchdown. 

Tyron Johnson – 3 catches for 61 yards and his 3rd touchdown. I had the new Johnson on the block slotted in as a high end WR3 streaming option under the assumption that Allen and Williams would sit. But when they were both announced active I had to put the Johnson down in my week 15 fantasy rankings. Turns out Allen and Williams might as well have been inactive and Tyron actually was a great streaming option.

Hunter Henry – 5 catches for 65 yards and his 4th touchdown.  Henry is a testament to just how low the TE1 bar remains. He’s fringing on top 5 fantasy tight end and he’s posted seven games with 50 receiving yards or less while not finding the endzone. And Henry has zero games with 70 receiving yards since week two. Woof.

Derek Carr – 3/5 for 53 yards before leaving on the second drive with a sore left groin. Both my left and right groins are sore after starting him in the semifinals of the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast Dynasty League. I know what you’re thinking, starting Carr in the fantasy playoffs is pathetic. Fair, but it’s 14 teams and the rest of my team is stacked and this was a great matchup and other QB was Cam Newton and why have the fantasy gods forsaken meeeee! Sorry, I forgot I wasn’t going to digress into complaining about my fantasy teams in this post. Feel free to vent all of your own fantasy complaints in the comments below and I’ll pretend to care as long as you pretend to care about mine. Anyway, Marcus Mariota (17/28 for 226 yards, 9 carries for 88 yards, 1 passing touchdown and 1 rushing touchdown) came in and looked shockingly good. Maybe we’ll see him regain another starting gig down the road but he’s still under contract for another year in Vegas and it’s highly unlikely Mariota supplants Carr.

Josh Jacobs – 26 carries for 76 yards, 3 catches for 38 yards and his 10th touchdown. The Jinglehammer has underwhelmed for going on a month as the Raiders are now on a four game losing streak. The volume returned this week after only 37 carries in the previous three games, but Jacobs still only averaged 2.9 yards per carry and if you take away his one 20 yard run that average drops to a pathetic 2.2 YPC. Not exactly confidence inspiring as we head into the fantasy championship week. 

Nelson Agholor – 4 catches for 49 yards. Ah, there’s the Nelson Agholor we all know and loathe. 

Darren Waller – 9 catches for 150 yards and his 8th touchdown. You know what they say, a GIF is worth a bajillion words: 

 

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  1. Kool Aid says:
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    The Wallerus always puts in a good show with or without his shirt. Coo coo kachoo

    Found out he has a few rap videos as well.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Ohhhh the Wallerus, I like it. Got a link to the rap vids??

      • Kool Aid says:
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        Check the link below to one of his most recent songs:

        https://youtu.be/37TvkskFs0k

        Darren Waller hasn’t let me down two years in a row now. He’s what we hoped Josh Gordon would ultimately become. Glad to hear his ownership of his past woes and his continued rise to greatness. Apparently his grandfather was a famous Jazz musician Fats Waller so music also runs in the family

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Nice!

  2. Brett says:
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    If Daniel Jones is out would you play Cleveland D over Buffalo?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      No I’d stick with Buffalo, the Giants might be better off with McCoy starting right now. Either way those two defenses are kind of a coin flip to me, so if you prefer Cleveland just go with it.

  3. JC says:
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    The good news: I have Waller and Carlson.
    The bad news: I have Julio and Golladay.
    I am only a slight favorite despite my two Raiders doing well last night. He has Mahomes, Henry, Thielen and M Davis subbing for McCaffrey so a formidable, consistent lineup.

    My starting lineup is listed below as are my questions.

    Tanney
    Cook, Monty, JT
    Beasley, T.Y.
    Waller
    Carlson
    Bills (at Denver)
    Bench: Julio, Galloday, Gaskin – great timing guys!
    Gallman, Cards D

    1. Would you drop Galloday for Patrick? Patrick has the Chargers next week and could be an option. Note: if I win this week and advance, I will have the #1 claim position and could grab Galloday back if somehow he is cleared to play. Not sure I would trust him anyway.

    2. Wrestling with my Bills at Denver selection. Projections are optimistic. Are they a better choice over the Cards v Philly?

    3. Monty or Gallman? Monty has been a stud but outside of that 80 yard run, had an iffy week last out. Gallman TD dependent I think though and was vultured last week at the goal line.

    Thank you sir! Hope to have questions next week. But if not, it has been fun – and on to hoops!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nice start!

      1. Sure
      2. Bills
      3. Monty

      No problem, good luck!

      • JC says:
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        Ok, picked up Patrick. It will be fun to win without my second and third round picks.

        So I have T.Y. Vs Texans, Beasley at Broncos and Patrick vs Bills. Oh my, what a group. I am leaning TY and Cole. You?

        Also do you like Gabe Davis over Patrick. Too late now but I like to torture myself.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Bout the same area for me, lean Patrick

          • JC says:
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            Always go with the better QB grasshopper.

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              Fair strategy

              • Donkey Teeth

                Donkey Teeth says:
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                Davis is the better player and has the better QB but he’s the clear third option on his team. Patrick was arguably the number one option on his team…was a tough one.

                • JC says:
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                  I gotcha now. I was thinking you meant Patrick over Beasley. But you were answering the Davis v Patrick. The Master apologizes lol. Won my semi with highest point total in the league this year. Whoppee! Tough, tough schedule next week.

                  • Donkey Teeth

                    Donkey Teeth says:
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                    Ah yes, I misunderstood. Congrats!

  4. Shopgurrrl says:
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    Heading to round two of the fantasy playoffs after a round one bye. I’m currently sitting on three DSTs to give myself options over the next two weeks and to keep the defenses with the best matchups out of my opponents’ hands.

    Who would you start this week and next?

    Week 15:
    Cardinals vs. Eagles
    Browns vs. Giants
    Bills vs. Broncos

    Week 16:
    Browns vs. Jets
    Cardinals vs. 49ers

    The Browns matchups are tempting, but their D is pretty battered by injuries and is giving up tons of points. What do you think?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Bills this week, Browns next week

  5. Grey

    Grey says:
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    As the biggest Herbert stan — a Sherbert? — finally seeing respect put on his name

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Ahhhh so you thought it was sherbert too! I tried to work out some herbert/sherbert stuff a few weeks back, then I discovered its actually sherbet. Everything I knew was a lie.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Why did you just ruin my childhood?

  6. Fizz says:
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    Start Brees or Goff on Sunday?

    Pick 2:
    Dobbins, Sanders, Aiyuk, Drake

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Goff, Sanders and Drake

  7. Steve D. says:
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    Tough call in semis matchup this week: Kmet or Smith, Jr. in a PPR at TE? Just lost Gesicki and won’t risk playing him even if he does.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’m in the same boat, leaning toward kmet

      • Louis says:
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        Half Ppr flex: curtis Samuel or Mckissic? Thanks!

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I’d go with mckissic but it’s pretty much a toss up to me. No problem, good luck!

  8. Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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    12 team dynasty 2 QB half PPR. with d.harris getting ruled out this late after sounding fine on friday (or thurs, but might’ve been both), seeing if i should add this or that.
    RB (2): mckissic, kamara, ekeler, dobbins
    WR (3): thielen, k.allen (yuck, could’ve benched), higgins, boyd, watkins, perriman
    TE (1): ertz (holding for now till next year when he might be good on a team getting snaps, probably not PHI), j.smith (if he continues to split time 3 ways (if TEN sticks to IND’s plan), he could be dropped)
    2 regular flexes
    IR (10): d.harris, p-will, edelman, penny

    add s.michel (in case d.harris stays out longer and RB depth is never a horrible thing to have, could play in a flex this week too), or irv smith (to play over j.smith this week with rudolph out), or ahmed (short term add to play in flex this week)

    • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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      2. for super flexes, have bridge/minshew/newton, drop anybody for mariota (sounds def to play for the next 2 weeks, all that matters for us)

      • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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        3. with d.harris out, PPR, michel or ahmed (i have d-wash and gaskin and added ahmed but could go michel instead with d.harris out). this is for 3rd league.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I’d go with Ahmed

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Maybe ditch watkins or Perriman for him? I’d keep the QBs you have

  9. Mobin Can't Hack It says:
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    tim patrick finally pulled the game a bunch of people around here thought he’d have at least one of in the last 2 months (just checked, he had week 12 also damn bad, but those are the only 2 since early in year when jeudy was still used (WTF is going on with that anyway)). only good news is this only hurts me in one league i made the playoffs i guess. man i wish i had the balls to have played higgins over patrick though in that one. game still not over of course.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hard to feel good about starting anyone in the denver and Cincy offenses

  10. And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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    12 teamer PPR with full return points (i.e. same as scrimmage, 10 per point, pollard’s been doing the kick returns for a while, since week 11 he’s the ONLY person getting the kick returns)

    QB rogers
    RB (2): aaron, d-mont
    WR (2): woods, 1 of c.davis/marv jones (staff infection sounds back), claypool (yuck on his usage, getting worse for about a month now), parker
    TE (1): kelce
    flex (1)
    options for flex: 1 of c.davis/m.jones/claypool/pollard/j.wilson (he was easy in if mostert stayed out, mostert back though), hines (been off kick returns for over a month), j.will.

    guessing just run both c.davis/marv jones (or one of those out for claypool) but wondering if pollard with that return stuff might be worth more. could even get lucky and zeke gets a strange (from news) out.

    • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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      over the entire season pollard is averaging 5.27 points per week in return stuff. and i’m not sure if he was doing those before week 9 so it could be higher. SF’s opp touchback % is quite bad here at 28th 71.43% (gould good at distance kicks). DAL’s D is junk so SF scoring probably not an issue (i.e. their will be returns, but could be in the realm of almost 3/4 of them being touchbacks)

      • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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        i checked, pollard has done almost all the kick returns for the entire season, so that 5.27 per game is in fact his weekly return points average.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d go Claypool over Marv. Unless you wanna go Pollard, can’t really speak to the return stuff.

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