It has been a fairly brutal start for second round pick Larry Fitzgerald. If you came here expecting me to say different, you don’t realize this is a buy low, sell high column. Currently, Larry is ranked as the 1815th best player in fantasy football in yahoo PPR leagues. That’s crazy. That’s nuts. That’s crazy go nuts and buy this guy before his stock gets any lower. Look, I know the details. He has two complete knobs at quarterback in Skelton and Kolb and just can’t seem to get the football. Well last year he did just fine despite them, hauling in 80 receptions and 1411 yards to go with 8 touchdowns. This is a man who knows how to get things done no matter who’s under center. You want guys like that on your team. Nay, you NEED guys like that on your team. So go see if your league mate was in a coma for the last 8 football seasons and autodrafted him. Seriously, that should be the only reason someone is giving them up to you but you might be playing with a few mouth-breathers. It never hurts to check! In other buy low, sell high fantasy football news…
Buy
Chris Johnson – Now this is a buy coming from the plain and simple fact that he was terrible last year. I mean peed in the urn of your recently deceased gerbil bad. It was pretty offensive to say the least. And yet he still finished as a top 20 back. Let us be perfectly clear: he’s probably not an RB1 back at this juncture and should be treated like an RB2. That means you shouldn’t be discussing anyone who goes in the the first or second round when doing a deal with the owner here. I saw Pianowski tweet he traded him away for BenJarvus Green-Ellis here recently. That might come out a wash but you get the idea of where there’s a reasonable line. In all, just remember this is a risky buy. Tennessee has looked terrible as a team so this trade idea is not without it’s warts. No, not THOSE warts. I just webMD’ed that. You need to go see a doctor about those…and your girlfriend, too.
Matthew Stafford/Tom Brady – I’m not tandeming these two because I think they’re the same, per se and I think there’s more to be worried about with Stafford than with Brady but that’s besides the point. They’re both getting outscored by Alex Smith. Didn’t see that one coming two weeks into the season, didja? It’s never too early to check the pulse on guys who own underperformers, that’s all I’m sayin.
Brandon LaFell – Now obviously this isn’t a buy low. I’m suggesting you check in with the owner to see how much they believe in ‘The Fell’ or as many autocorrect typers like to say ‘LaFeil’. See if they don’t need him or don’t see the potential of his low WR2 high WR3 quality. Offer them a bag of muffin tops and that toy lightsaber you found in your mom’s dresser. What were you doing in there anyway?
Sell
Danny Amendola – This is an odd sell to list because he’s not really as owned as he should be – 48% in yahoo leagues and only 17% in ESPN leagues (there has to be an inordinate amount of non-PPR leagues over at ESPN because that’s just ridiculous, BTW) – but at the same time he just had an amazing game and should’ve been more owned from the start. Of course, if for some reason he’s still out on waivers in your PPR league, go nab him and put him at WR3 and call it good. Now I’m not saying sell because he’s not good, I’m saying sell while people think he’s this good. I’m gonna quote what I said about him on Monday: hope if you had him you enjoyed this day but the touchdown and yardage were a gift. The receptions are as real as Scarlett Johanson’s…eh, we’ve already made a big TD joke, let’s not go for more. That sentence proved two things. One, he played like a WR1 this weekend and is a WR3 and two, I’m extremely perverted. The first part is what you should be focusing on here.
Michael Turner – Here’s what you send to your trade partner: Hey man, Turner looks like he’s ‘turning’ it around (lol). Scored a TD last night for me and won me the week. I see Ahmad got hurt. That’s a bummer. Wanna trade? You know what, just give me your login and let me do it for you. It took him three tries to score that TD on the one and he nearly fumbled the ball away on the second attempt.  This is not an RB2 you drafted, he’s a flex play. See if you can still trade him for what you got him for after his amazing MNF performance and by amazing I mean ‘he would’ve finished with 27 yards on 16 carries if not for a 15 yard run at the end of the fourth to seal the win and salt the clock away’. Tack on a DUI and a team that looks bad rushing the ball as a whole and you could be in for a world of hurt if you don’t sell ASAP.
Mike Williams – He’s had two touchdowns in the first two games which has buoyed his end line to something reasonable but the underlying facts are this: 8 targets leading to only 5 catches and 72 yards in the first two games. Damian Williams has more targets than that. Remember, this team just hung a 34 spot in NYG vs an atrocious secondary. Sell now or forever hold your Magic Mike.
Antonio Gates – This is a pre-emptive sell meaning he needs to play this Sunday and perform well. My suggestion comes for one simple reason: this was supposed to be the season he was in the ‘best shape of his life’. And yet he’s now 1/2 in games played. You knew you were taking on an injury risk and I did warn you earlier that I was not a fan of taking him where he had to go in the draft.  He’s talented but if the comments from you guys tell me anything, there are plenty of useful TE out on the free agent market right now. See if you can improve other parts of your team and ‘make due’ with someone like Martellus Bennett or Kyle Rudolph.
