Thursday’s thrilling Broncos/Jets matchup was overshadowed by the unfortunate COVID developments in Tennessee which have resulted in the postponement of Sunday’s Titans’ game against the Steelers. This Titans fiasco got me thinking about a picture I snapped during the NFL Draft back in April:

Take your time, there’s a lot to digest in this shot. Someone in this picture has to be responsible for the viral outbreak in Tennessee this week, right? Vrabel’s spandex-hooded son and Joe-Dirt-mullet son are solid candidates, just look at those two goons. And Vrabel himself can’t be counted out either based on the offspring he produced. But the odds on favorite has to be the dude on the crapper in the back left corner—that guy’s up to no good. Where is he pooping? Is that even a toilet? Alas, one player who didn’t take a dump during Thursday night’s game was Melvin Gordon who handled 23 carries for 107 yards, 2 catches for 11 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. Pigskinonator was all over this one, ranking Gordon as it’s #9 RB this week. Now might be a decent time to sell Gordon since Phillip Lindsay (toe) may be ready to swoop in and steal half the carries in week 5. Don’t forget, we have a free trade analyzer to help you brainstorm deals and dominate your league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Sam Darnold – 23/42 for 230 yards, 6 carries for 84 yards and a rushing touchdown. Not bad for a guy with a broken collar bone! If you didn’t watch the game, Troy Aikman very confidently proclaimed that Darnold must have broken his collar bone when he left early in the first half after a sack. The Jets QB would return on the very next drive. Listening to Buck and Aikman is worse than listening to my senile grandfather’s views on social injustice. 

Jamison Crowder – 7 catches for 104 yards. Jamison is the one player on the Jets who won’t drive you to drink whiskey.  

Frank Gore – 13 carries for 30 yards, 1 catch for 6 yards. 2.3 yards per carry is about what we’ve come to expect from the Jets offense at this point. On the plus side, Le’Veon Bell (hamstring) is eligible to return in week 5 so make sure he wasn’t dropped if you’re in a shallow league. If Adam Gase gets canned, as expected, then there still might be hope for a little fantasy value out of this Jets offense. 

Chris Herndon – 1 catch for 11 yards. Now has 5 catches for 35 yards over the last three weeks which is sadder than my Saturday night plans. 

Jeff Smith – 7 catches for 81 yards. I know, he sounds like a made up player. Smith saw a surprising 9 targets as Darnold’s flavor of the week with Braxton Berrios (0 catches on 3 targets) disappearing into the sketchy Metlife Stadium turf.  

Brett Rypien – 19/31 for 242 yards, 2 touchdowns and 3 interceptions. Aikman rambled for a good ten minutes about handling wet balls. Apparently Rypien isn’t great with wet balls. Footballs I mean. He threw two interceptions in the 4th quarter including a pick six. But Rypien looked decent outside of the (horrible) interceptions, expect him to get another chance next week.

Jerry Jeudy – 2 catches for 61 yards and his 1st career touchdown. The jury is in, Judge Jeudy is guilty of being fun to watch. The rookie’s a solid WR3 with WR2 upside rest of season.

Tim Patrick – 6 catches for 113 yards and his 2nd touchdown. When Courtland Sutton (ACL) went down for the year there was buzz around rookie speedster  K.J. Hamler (no targets, left early with a hamstring injury) but Patrick has quickly establish himself as #2 on a Broncos team which should be playing from behind often this season. Make sure he’s owned in deeper leagues, he might end up being a surprise WR3.

Noah Fant – 5 catches for 35 yards before being carted off with a knee injury. Not Fant-astic. If the young tight end misses time, one of Nick Vannett (1 catch for 7 yards) or Jake Butt (0 catches on 1 target) will be next in line if that kind of thing excites you. I really hope that doesn’t excite you.

 

 

  1. howie2978 says:
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    8 Team 0.5PPR

    WR: Allen Robinson, DeVante Parker
    RB: Jonathan Taylor, Kenyan Drake
    Flex: Miles Sanders

    Would you swap out Sanders (@SF) for either Lamb, Gallup, or Fuller at Flex?

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d stick with Sanders as long as he plays

      No problem!

  2. toolshed says:
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    Do you expect deonte Swifts role to grow? I am in desperate need of another rb. I have him stashed on my bench. It is insane what a bad team like Detroit is doing by feeding AP while they have 2 young backs. Thx

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah it should grow but that doesn’t mean he’ll be fantasy relevant. I expect that backfield will be a fantasy headache all year. Any other options?

      • toolshed says:
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        Not really. I am looking for another rb. Most backups are owned. Anthony mcfalrand is available as a stash. Losing barkley really limits me. I also have a carson injury. I drafted kelly. I am only looking at backups available.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I’d go with Swift then, he had upside at least and maybe Patricia gets fired…

  3. Wide Right says:
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    Flex question – PPR league..

    P. Williams, MIA or Jefferson? Also have Gage?

    And if Chark is out.. I’d need 2 out of the 3.

    Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Williams and Jefferson for me

      No problem

  4. Gary says:
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    I think that Aik and Buck snort blow off of Aik’s HOF jacket before the game.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Haha, I like this theory

  5. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    awesome, anything to bring that picture back. yeah who are all those goons

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      and just why is there a window into the crapper anyway, is this a normal thing in nashville or does vrabel just install that kind of stuff into his places manually? so many questions.

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        The crapper is a mystery that may never be solved. How great would it be if a reporter pulled this out at a presser and started grilling Vrabel.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Haha I assumed those two behind him were his kids but maybe they’re just random guys from the bar

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        yeah i don’t think we have any indication what vrabel’s relationship to anybody in that picture is. we do know that there is a window in to what might be a bathroom, or just a room that somebody is using to crap into something (a caulk bucket maybe?) while also having the window open and being taped while doing it.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Haha, here’s what we know for sure…

          • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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            from what that looks like he probably had been partying somewhere (bar?) and just brought back a bunch of people to see him while he was drafting while carrying on the party.

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              We’ve all been there…”oh shit, I have a draft that’s about to start!”

              • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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                yep, that’s quite within the realm of possibility. “seriously, i can’t get another DWI, guys i really gotta make this draft, you guys can all come keep partying, but one of you has to drive me”

                • Donkey Teeth

                  Donkey Teeth says:
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                  Haha

  6. Hitzone says:
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    10 team ppr

    Trade my Dak/Cooper/Chark for Stafford/Mostert/Miles Sanders

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I like that deal for you but would want to make sure Sanders is playing this week before pulling the trigger

  7. Dominic Brady says:
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    Odell (back injury but practiced today) or Devante Parker this week in ppr league.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Odell for me

  8. Dominic Brady says:
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    Also random question, I used this site a couple years ago and there was a writer I think his name was Jay what happened to him?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Jay is only over on the baseball side this year

      • Mordacious Levator says:
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        had been the editor (even when not writing for football) at both spots for a long time. he had shown up with rankings and about nothing else for the last few years on football side (and did well when compared to other FP guys). did do sporadic baseball posts this year. jaywrong (jay longfellow, i doubt either of these are his real name)

  9. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    12 teamer PPR with full return yardage (lost barkley) 10 yards per point (hardman yet to face somebody who didn’t hit tons of touchbacks but i did play him over hines in week 3, almost won from it)
    QB: AAron, cousins (cousins good @ SEA matchup in week 5 when rodgers off)
    RB (2): AAron, hines, mont, AP, scott, j-will (appears dillon won’t get this work if AAron goes out)
    WR (2): parker, woods, hardman, harry, p-will
    TE (1): kelce
    1 flex
    IR (10): penny

    already trying to waiver landry dropping harry (it’s weekly reset to reverse standings waivers), somebody dropped ingram. drop scott (return yardage though), or AP for ingram (it’s extremely likely i won’t get both of landry/ingram, possibly neither)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Think I might ditch JWill first but Scott is fine too if you want the handcuff

  10. howie2978 says:
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    I’ve got Henry and Mostert out this week. Can you rank these rest of the pack RBs for this week?

    McKinnon, Gibson, Gaskin, Wilson Jr.

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Gibson, McKinnon, Gaskin, Wilson for me

      No problem!

  11. Crime Dog says:
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    what’s up DT. guy just offered me kyler murray for my Rodgers + Josh Kelley. It’s 14 team ppr. Below is my current team. 14 teams and 2 flex is deep so giving up kelley is giving up important depth. I’m leaning towards no but what do you think? QB scoring is a little weird with 2 point bonus for 300 yards and another 2 for 400. pass TDs are 6, interceptions are -3. Having a legit QB that you can bank on for 25 a week and upside for more is also important in this league

    QB- rodger
    RB- Kamara
    RB-taylor
    WR- Thelian
    WR- Golden tate
    Flex- Daryl Henderson
    Flex- Kelley
    Bench- Hines
    Bench- Kirk
    Bench- Akers
    Bench- Hamler

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Crime Dog,

      It’s fair. I’d do it but you know I’m a sucker for Kyler.

  12. Zandy says:
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    Send Godwin + one of Kelley/Fournette/Dobbins for JRobinson and Diontae? 0.5 PPR sitting 0-3

    JAllen
    KAllen MVS
    Taylor MDavis
    THiggins
    Hurst
    BN: Leveon, MThomas, Godwin, Fournette, Dobbins, Kelley

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes, fair deal and I think it makes sense for your team. Think at this point I’d prefer to give Fournette of those three.

  13. JC says:
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    12 team, h2h, standard scoring. Unsure what to do with My receivers this week with Julio’s injury. I am a 6 point favorite so it should be a close one. My team:

    Dak
    Cook, Taylor, Montgomery
    Julio, Golladay
    Higbee
    Bench: Slayton, AJ Green, Kelley, Mattison
    Out: Lazard

    Wire: Shenault, Ward, Beasley, Cole.

    1. Do I start Green or Slayton over Julio?
    2. Do I drop someone for a wire add and bench Julio?
    3. Do I grab a Packers or Falcons receiver and drop someone as insurance on Monday? It would be a gamble on Zaccheaus, Blake, or Shepard ugh)

    Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. I’d go Julio, Green if he doesn’t play
      2. Nah
      3. Yeah good call…Slayton for Shepard

      No problem

      • JC says:
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        I think I need to pick only one of these strategies as they overlap and the decision has to be made by Sunday morning. #1 or #3?

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Agreed, #3

  14. BallsDeep says:
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    Preston Williams got dropped in my league. Would you drop Joshua Kelley, Davonte Freeman or Emmanuel Sanders for him?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Sanders or Freeman, depending on which is the greater need

  15. bobsnyder4210 says:
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    Seriously, it’d be a lot more embarrassing to be the guy in the medieval onesie than the one in the full-view crapper. At least crapper-guy probably ran out of choices. Just sayin’. Thanks for the heads-up tape review DT.

    Anyway, back to business…no frills 1/2 ppr…Godwin, Henry, Jonnu, Mostert all out…

    Starting Goff, Hurst, Woods, Moore, Sanders, Da Johnson. IR’ed everybody I could and grabbed whatever replacements I could and…confusion.

    1) Pick a flex: J Wilson, M Jones, Cooks, Renfrow…I can make a case for and against all of them.
    2) Which 2 of them are probably the best holds as backups after this week? Thinking Wilson and Cooks maybe?

    Thanks, man!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Haha, fair.

      1. I’d try Cooks
      2. Probably Cooks and Jones for me but depends on Mostert’s status

      No problem!

  16. Shopgurrrl says:
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    What are your thoughts on Greg Ward as a Flex this week?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      He’s alright for a desperation play but I don’t feel great about it

      • Shopgurrrl says:
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        Got hit by the postponements pretty hard. My other options if I don’t pick up Ward are Antonio Gibson, AJ Green, Josh Kelley, or Devonta Freeman. My though was either Ward or Gibson, but they’re all uninspiring options.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I like all of Gibson, Kelley and Green over Ward, in that order

  17. Sinkhole Demayo says:
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    in super flex newtown is out already so i can IR stash him. but if super flex (already moved bridge to super flex spot) add hoyer for BN here or stidham in case this lasts longer? d.lock, rypien (for about 0-2 more weeks), hoyer only starters out there. i can just add somebody now with newton out this week at least (probably not more, but could be)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      No guarantee it’s Stidham but he’s who I’d go with. Rypien is intriguing as a back up too but also no guarantee that he’s the starter either.

      • Sinkhole Demayo says:
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        rypien just put out there to show how few even short term starters aren’t owned. i seriously doubt that’s not lock’s job when he’s back. they invested actual draft capital in him and he looked good to end last year (albeit mizzou has a history of just TONS of not good enough to be starting NFL QB’s who put up video game like numbers while in college (c.daniels, gabbert (yep, him too), some others)

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Yep, just thought you talking for the short term

          • Sinkhole Demayo says:
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            yeah it’s in case say camtown either
            1. corona lasts a bit
            2. he gets freaked out and just sits out year after having it (really not likely this 2nd one)

            i’d be pretty stupid to just assume camtown will be back and do nothing about it and get left with 2 QB’s total here.

  18. Buster Moon says:
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    Preferred Conner backup:

    McFarland or Snell

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I prefer Snell but it’s kind of a coin flip right now

  19. hamtime says:
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    1. Would you hold onto Isabella or do you think Malcolm brown, McFarland, Kirk or claypool are better ROS?

    2. What are your thoughts on a pascal breakout w Indy WRs hurting

    3. Is dobbins ready to takeover Ingram duties

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. They’re all kind of dart throws so I’d just stick with isabella
      2. Not crazy about the Indy pass game but the could be a WR3
      3. I think he’s ready but I don’t think Harbaugh is ready to lean on him yet

    • Sinkhole Demayo says:
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      last year in similar situations (bunch of receivers injured) pascal mostly did nothing, he’s worth owning in deep leagues in case though.

  20. howie2978 says:
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    10 team 0.5PPR

    Have to find an alternate for Kelce. Available FA TEs include Graham, Schultz, Hurst, Hooper, L. Thomas, and Cox.

    Which would you pick to replace Kelce? Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I like Hurst

  21. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    that return yardage spot from above (full 1 pt per 10 return yards)
    starting:
    QB AAron
    RB (2) AAron, mont
    WR (2): parker, woods
    TE (1) kelce (all indications KC plays)
    1 flex
    K: GB kicker
    team D: LAR vs NYG
    options at flex
    – ingram @ WAS
    – hardman vs NE (NE, so far the 6th worst opp team touchback % at 57.14%)
    – hines @ CHI (CHI so far the worst opp team touchback % at 31.25%)
    – p-will vs SEA (so i’d be stacking both parker/p-will then)

    hardman’s got some negatives here, NE probably not all that likely to score much with hoyer (less kicks to return at all), also outside chance of not even playing. p-will in theory is nice, but he’s been barely used yet. on ingram, WAS is quite good at against the pass (2nd) but not so great against the run (18th, Foutsiders used for these), plus l-jax can just steal stuff (+ dobbins, + gus the bus sometimes too for no good reason).

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      obv hines and hardman at least some of the time are barely used too (hines week 2, hardman def WAS week 3, but not before).

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Think I’d go Ingram still, the Washington D line is in really rough shape…

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        yeah and some of that 18th against the run was back when they weren’t so injured, so probably worse right this minute. plus i’m sure the BAL coaches know:
        1. they’ll win this game anyway
        2. why try to throw when you can easily win by running

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Exactly. Has blowout written all over it…

          • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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            in case this changes anything, more news came out since i typed the farthest above, no new KC guys tested either positives, they’re likely playing monday now. probably not since hardman has more negatives than most of these others anyway (KC knows it’ll beat hoyer lead NE probably easily, plus NE probably won’t score much for KO to exist)

            • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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              watching this whole game, while it’s great parker gets all this usage, i have no clue how/why p-will gets so little. also had this been coached better or if fitz input some audibles earlier they could’ve had some TD’s rather than 5 FG’s earlier in the game. p-will did get an end zone target just before the fitz TD run. fitz’s running is a positive.

  22. Russowl says:
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    10 team non-PPR 10 bonus points at 100 rushing or receiving yards
    Need to flexes
    Mike Davis
    Scary terry
    Devante parker
    Jerick McKinnon

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d go Terry and McKinnon

  23. Russowl says:
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    Would you stat Either of the other two over Julio? Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Only Terry

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