We made it three weeks without any Covid-19 trouble which is far longer than I previously expected. Three players and a couple of other staff members for the Tennessee Titans tested positive and it was reported on Tuesday. The Titans have closed their facilities until Saturday. At the time of writing this, there has not been any word of if the game will be rescheduled until later in the week, played on Sunday, or some bye weeks will be switched around weeks 6 and 7. For now, I will rank the players as if they are playing during the week 4 period. I have also ranked Julio Jones and Davante Adams like they are playing for now. They were both at least close to playing last week so one has to think that there is a good chance that they give it a go this week. I have no idea what to do with Chris Godwin so I left him in the 30’s. Ahh, the difficulty of putting out rankings before the practice week starts. 

As you may know, my rankings are live up until kick off on Sunday morning, so be sure to check back all week and then click the primer post on Sunday morning where I answer all of your questions that you might have. I have had good fortune in the accuracy department through the first 3 weeks and I’m going to try and keep the train rolling as we near the quarter mark of the fantasy season. Here are the early rankings for week 4!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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It is another Victory Tuesday as I awaken in my parents’ basement. I put on my pants (one leg at a time, like everybody else), and this morning I won’t be needing a shower because I smell of success. I’ve been getting rich off of the sweet, sweet capitalism of the fantasy football trade market. That’s right, BUY! SELL! BUY! SELL! Wall Street? How about Waller St.? You know what I mean? I will spend the next 13 hours on various forums and social media platforms telling analysts that they are wrong and the exact reasons why. And of course, ripping off my league mates.  

I will tell tales of trading for Nick Chubb before week 1 during the great Kareem Hunt panic of summer 2020. After weathering the storm in week 1, returns have been nothing but PROFIT! I will brag about dumping my Leonard Fournette shares before Ronald Jones maintained his workload in the Tampa backfield in week 3. If I’ve proposed any bad trades, it has escaped my memory as I chuckle a satisfactory laugh to myself thinking about Cooper Kupp scoring his first touchdown in Buffalo after I bought shares following a disappointing first two weeks. My smile fades because it is time to get to work. Fantasy football success isn’t owned, it is rented, and the trade market is open every day depending on your league settings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s a very important place that I want to start today’s fantasy football conversation. Imagine getting fined $100K at work, just like Pete Carroll, Vic Fangio, Jon Gruden, Sean Payton and Kyle Shanahan did this past week. Not by Feds. Not by the IRS. Not by your local county judge. Think about that — just for one second. Fined 100-grand, at work. For me, this would bring up a concerning follow-up meeting: “So, uhh… are you asking me to quit? No? Ok… so the next three years are just pro-bono? Got it. Okay. I’ll be over here pummeling my head into this wall. Forever.” Although I don’t have a vendetta against any of those five head coaches, it’s an absolutely insane concept to even consider. In Green Bay, head coach Matt LaFleur actually has an assistant whose job it is to make sure he’s wearing a mask at all times. That’s literally his job! I don’t know if this is better or worse than Sean McVay’s “Get Back” assistant. I guess better, because this at least helps promote safety. Meanwhile, we’ve got reigning Super Bowl Champion Andy Reid looking one step away from being the next Power Ranger with the face shield he’s donning out there. Can you imagine being the intern that was tasked with finding a face covering that would please Andy Reid? Bet you it took weeks. I’d rather work as Philip Rivers’ governess. It’s just like I always say, if Julie Andrews can do it, so can I!

Shame on me for using the NFL’s current sideline mask fiasco for a lede two weeks in a row, but everything starts to get hazy on these late Monday nights. There’s a lot of movement in the rankings this week and even more question marks with certain running backs going down with injuries for undetermined periods of time, but it’s a job that has to be done nonetheless. Am I a hero in plain man’s cloth? No, I am but a man. Before we get into the rankings, let’s take our weekly trip around the league.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The sun rises once again, as we survey the wilderness of our fantasy win/loss columns. Week 3 was not as brutal for injuries and in fact, some new players emerged simply because they earned it. There was a rookie renaissance as multiple top draft picks showed off. The fantasy landscape could look very different if these budding stars earn season long roles.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did anyone else have a case of the pandemic Mondays this week? Mine was brutal. I slept until around noon before feasting on a bowl of Lucky Charms with chocolate chips and whipped cream—don’t worry I had a nice big glass of cucumber, kale and celery juice too. Then, after the insulin injection, it was off to the couch for my early afternoon nap where I dreamt of a shirtless photo shoot with Russell Wilson, Tyler Lockett and D.K. Metcalf. I woke up just in time to inhale my Monday evening nachos and watch an episode of Game of Thrones before the Chiefs/Ravens game. Unfortunately for Baltimore, the Ravens defense never woke up from their own Monday afternoon nap; they looked like White Walkers out on the field as Patrick Mahomes went all Arya Stark on them with a line of 31/42 for 385 yards, 4 carries for 26 yards, 4 passing touchdowns and his 1st rushing touchdown—he now has 9 passing touchdowns on the year. Those who were thinking about dropping Mahomie below #2 in their rest of season QB rankings might want to reconsider. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Game of Thrones Spoiler Alert for this round up, fair warning!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Eight receivers caught at least 2 touchdowns on Sunday. You’ve heard of Mike Evans, Tyler Lockett, Jimmy Graham….Wait, what?! Jimmy Graham caught 2 touchdowns? Geez. And Tyler Kroft? 2020 man. Anyways, Tee Higgins was a highly touted rookie, but Cedrick Wilson (5 rec 107 yds 2 TD), Andy Isabella (4 rec 47 yds 2 TD), and Dontrelle Inman (3 rec 38 yds 2 TD)? What to make of those three and should they be a part of your team?

Andy Isabella is 23 years old, 5′ 9″, and 188 pounds. He played his college ball at UMass and was a finalist for the Biletnikoff Award. Pro Football Focus graded him as the highest-rated wide receiver in college football after Isabella caught 102 pass for 1,698 yards and 13 touchdowns his senior year. The college production was eye-popping, but the physical attributes (4.31 40-yard dash, 77th percentile speed score, and 65th percentile agility score according to PlayerProfiler) and performance at the Senior Bowl (7 rec for 73 yards TD) cemented his status as a NFL prospect. As a result, the Arizona Cardinals selected him with the 62nd overall pick in the 2019 NFL Draft. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s week three of the NFL season and you know what that means: annoying pumpkin latte commercials, my crazy neighbor putting up Christmas lights and your entire fantasy football team’s hurt. Trust me, I feel your pain. I had to start the dog from Air Bud in several leagues this week; and he was my top scoring player in all of those leagues except one. That’s only because I was forced to start Vikings rookie wide receiver Justin Jefferson on my Scott Fish Bowl team and he exploded for 7 catches for 175 yards and his 1st career touchdown. Jefferson single handedly put my whole stupid injured team on his back (don’t worry, they were wearing masks) and carried us to a week 3 victory. The Vikes’ youngster is owned in only 30% of Yahoo leagues and while there’s bound to be ups and downs, like with any rookie, Jefferson could turn out to be last year’s A.J. Brown. If you need receiving help, add him now and see if he can make a habit of these big performances. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s starting to feel more like football season, eh? The SEC is back, the Big 12 is playing in conference games, and the Big Ten is now under a month away from football. If that’s not enough for you, the NFL is sizzling through two weeks and we are on to week 3. I have far fewer complaints about the level of play than I thought I would and I am thrilled about it. Do you all remember the first weeks of the officiating strike a few years back? Do you remember how watching football wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as a result? That is sort of what I was expecting, but here we are. The quality of play is fine, our star players are dynamic. The injury bug was bad last week, but if 2020 has taught us anything; if there is a sliver of hope for normalcy, you just have to embrace it. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Excuse me, everybody, I’m a bit tired from spending the last week pitching the Razzbowl to the Shark Tank investors. See, I thought we had such a good program here — the best ball, the FAAB, the community — that we could turn this [waves hands around frantically] from the world’s biggest free Pros-V-Joes best ball tournament into a lucrative side-business. Then, Mark Cuban started talking about some team he owns, and I started talking about how I drafted Joe Mixon and Leonard Fournette, and then he started saying something about inexperience and over-my-head, and then I took my prop football and I threw it right over his head. Turns out, if you attack a billionaire, there’s a group of people who start following you, but not in a Korean boy-band kind of way. 

So while I write this from the rest stop in eastern Kentucky eluding the finest private security vans that Cuban could hire, I trust that y’all will learn from my mistakes and do a Kickstarter in the future. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s the age old question. Pondered by all the great philosophers for millennia. Debated by all great leaders and all feared dictators since the beginning of time. Beard or mustache? Abe Lincoln or Tom Selleck? Grizzly Adams or Groucho Marx? Gandalf or Ron Swanson? Merlin or Ron Burgundy? This enigmatic dispute has built for ages with no sign of a clear answer. That is, until Thursday night’s legendary culmination of Ryan Fitzpatrick vs. Gardner Minshew: a Beard vs. Mustache rumpus to rule them all. And it was nothing but beard in this one as Ryan Fitzpatrick flashed his facial prowess at a clip of 18/20 for 160 yards, 7 carries for 38 yards and 2 passing touchdowns—he now has 4 touchdowns on the season. The virtual fan chants for Tua and his baby face goatee will have to wait another week.  Many will question whether this was a valid win for the beard crowd, citing the illegal use of Fitzmagic in this contest—and rightfully so. Unfortunately, we may never have a definitive answer to the greatest question in the history of mankind. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?