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Did you see what’s going on out in San Francisco? I’m sure you’ve seen, it’s a pretty big story; that crazy pandemic sex party involving 8 emus, 2 wild boars, a bunch of “little people” and a fountain of semen. True story. Oh, and the whole surrounding bay area is on fire causing extremely poor air quality which has put the Cardinals and 49ers game in jeopardy of being postponed. Besides the tragedy of people’s homes burning down, I also own Kyler Murray on 49 of my 50 fantasy teams. So I’m not crazy about this developing story. I mean the fires story, the sex party stuff was actually kind of intriguing. So stay safe if you’re out west and keep tabs on the status of the Cardinals/49ers game if you own any of their players. And if you end up needing help finding last minute replacements, my week one fantasy football rankings will continue to be updated all the way up until Sunday kickoff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I went to the doctor yesterday to request a procedure. No, not an enlargement, those are apparently on hold until post-pandemic. I was there to see if my doc would inject the Thursday night Texans vs. Chiefs game directly into my veins; I wasn’t sure if ocular consumption would be enough to tide my cravings until Sunday afternoon. You wouldn’t believe how rude the women at the front desk was to me. Here’s a direct quote, “Sir, this is a Wendy’s! Please stop talking to the Dr. Pepper dispenser and put your clothes back on!” Hey, lady, how bout a little compassion for an addict?!

Speaking of compassion, Clyde Edwards-Helaire had none of it for the Texans in the season opener. The hyped up rookie gashed the Houston defense by taking 25 carries for 138 yards and a touchdown. Granted there were times when it seemed the Texans had only 3-men in the box and Clyde didn’t impress at the goal line, but even Edwards-Helaire haters have to admit he looked great otherwise. And the Mahomes led offense will yield plenty of light boxes throughout the season. I ranked CEH #11 overall in my 2020 fantasy football rankings, and looking to the rest of the season, I’d bump him up to #5 or 6 after this impressive week one workload. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here comes your week 1 disclaimer! Individual roster talent has everything to do with how you use the information in this post. Different folks have different strengths and weaknesses on their roster. If I say that I don’t like JuJu Smith-Schuster this week and you are in a 14 team league and your next best option is Sammy Watkins, that doesn’t mean that you should take “sit JuJu” as gospel. It just means that I like other players in a certain player’s tier more. I’ll specify if I think a player is going to put up a donut. Let’s sort through the rosters and find the plays for week 1.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Shadow Coverage Report – Week 1

Team: Minnesota Vikings

Opponent: Green Bay Packers

WR1: Adam Thielen

Shadow Coverage Match-up: Jaire Alexander

Historical Production vs. Shadow Coverage

Adam Thielen vs. Shadow Coverage
Opponent Games Rec Yards TDs PPG
All Other Opponents
23 5.5 69 0.5 12.8
Vs. Shadow Coverage
5 5.8 76.8 0.6 14.2
Vs. Jaire Alexander
1 8 125 1 22.5

Season long Recommendation – Start

After a lost 2019 Adam Thielen looks to bounce back quick vs. division rival Green Bay and tier 2 shadow corner Jaire Alexander. Last season the Packers used Jaire Alexander to shadow Stefon Diggs, but with Diggs now gone Thielen will most likely draw coverage from the Packers top corner. The last time Thielen squared off directly vs. Alexander was in Week 12 of 2018. Thielen got the best of Alexander torching the Packers for 8-125-1. A big key for Thielen is he plays a lot of his snaps in the slot, and even vs. notable shadow corners like Marshon Lattimore he has shown he can win in these match-ups. This is why I got a Thielen that sitting him is a bad idea. Did you see what I did there…no…ok moving on. 

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Well my friends, we are finally here! We have made it through months of gushing over rookie running backs, watching Russell Wilson post videos on social media as “Mr. Unlimited” and analyzing based off shirtless workout pics of DK Metcalf, Austin Ekeler and Kahale Warring. Finally, week 1 of the 2020 NFL season is upon us!

Every Thursday, I will be posting the week’s “Sexy Flexies” to give you a couple of players to consider starting in your flex spot. The objective isn’t to point out the obvious guys you’re starting in your RB or WR slots, but to take a look at a couple of players who are a bit more under the radar. These will likely be guys that you won’t start every week but will be good rotational pieces in the flex spot of your lineup based on match-up and opportunity.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 1 is finally here! Are you ready for some football? Thursday night party! And by party I mean small gatherings of less than 6 people. 

B_Don and Donkey Teeth have to talk about the recent Odell Beckham story to lead off the show. Then, we get into the tight end overview. Both of us have Kelce over Kittle and then we talk about DT’s infatuations, Darren Waller and Rob Gronkowski. We give our case for why we are lower on Tyler Higbee than the industry coming off his strong 2019 finish. B_Don then tries to talk DT off Jonnu Smith’s bum a**. 

After the TE discussion, we take a look at some seasonal awards where we both give you our MVPs, draft values, SB predictions, sleepers, busts, breakouts, and ROY. We wrap up the show with a couple of fan questions from @AGrieke and @BensGotTweets as they prepare for week 1. 

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Welcome to Razzball’s dedicated gambling column-Teasers and Pleasers! Each Thursday during the NFL season, at 11:00 am EST, TnP will post our top bets for the upcoming week. Please sit back and win some money with us in 2020.

Anticipation is an unstoppable force in humans. Our brains work 24 hours per day; one portion of our brain, the cerebellum, controls our automatic processes. For example, breathing (thankfully!) and the feeling of anticipation is housed there. In other words, we are always anticipating something! We naturally desire more dopamine, the neurotransmitter that helps prevent pain. Dopamine stimulation happens when we expect good things.

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No more anticipation. Let’s get right to it! Week 1 picks for your betting pleasure.

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I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

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It’s here and we haven’t seen a single preseason snap. I have to go off of twitter videos, coach speak and instinct. Eh, that’s alright, I feel like I have a pretty good grip on things. I’m pretty conservative this week when it came to moving people around. A lot of it has to deal with the unknown, but a big reason is that you should be starting your studs. There is no reason to get cute. Week 1 is not an absolute must win (although it would be nice to get one, right?”) 

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Two days, football fans! Two days! That means the 2020 NFL Season will be upon us in a smaller span of time than your average game of cricket. Quicker than your seven round NFL Draft. And much faster than it takes Kirk Cousins to get rid of the ball on a typical pass play. Just two days and we’ll have NFL football. Two days until you get to turn months of research and late-night draft parties into something that actually matters as all the projection slowly turns into production. Today, we’ll begin with the former as I reveal my top 60 running backs heading into week one of the 2020 season. As a general baseline, I’ll be using half-PPR scoring for these rankings. Moving forward, I will continuously update these 60 backs on a weekly basis to provide an up-to-date snapshot at the top options at the position moving forward. Before we get into the actual rankings, here are some highlights from the opening list.

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With the stock market going nuts recently, I thought it appropriate to harken back to my trading days. Some traders utilize tape reading and technical analysis to study price action and figure out the momentum of a stock. Buy high and sell higher is usually the mantra. Or sell low and buy lower. On the flip side, there are value investors who scour 10-Qs, listen to conference calls, and dive into all the fundamentals of a company. Price-to-earning ratios and book value are numbers often utilized. When a stock continues to go up or down, momentum traders are more apt to keep riding the train until it stops. Value investors, on the other hand, look for spots to buy/sell when pessimism or optimism are too high. Fantasy football participants are no different. There are those place emphasis on the most recent results, while others look for bargains or spots to fade when sentiment gets out of whack. Will A. J. Green keep getting hammered by momentum traders or will he be money for value investors?

Please, blog, may I have some more?