Thank you all for the well wishes for my family yesterday. Even though we may never have a beer together, we work things out during the football season for your fantasy teams on a daily basis so we do share some sort of bond. Anyways, life is pretty much back to normal.

We had a lot of big performances last week and some of those I was higher than the consensus. D.J. Chark, Michael Gallup, Will Fuller were a few of those names that I was higher on. Unfortunately, there are always the misses. Austin Ekeler didn’t get in the endzone. I was too high of Jacoby Brissett, too low on Russell Wilson. And of course, I was too high on Baker Mayfield. Rudy and myself finished back to back at 87th and 88th last week. We must begin to look forward and grab a top 10 finish. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Hello my lovelies! Welcome back to another rousing rendition of Hit it or Quit it. Sorry I have been AWOL the past two weeks, but the Feds were catching up to me and I had to give them the slip and head off the grid for a while. It is all good. I found some other patsy to take the fall. Men can be so gullible sometimes. How was your Week 5? Mine was sweet. Coming off a horrifically embarrassing Week 4, my Week 5 was one for the record books. The poor bastards I played this week never knew what hit them. Much like Mason Rudolph. I am sure that dude saw his dead grandmother AND Santa after that hit. Being a woman in this world of male-dominated fantasy virgins is a bit complex sometimes, and sure, there have been leagues I have not been invited back to because I won, but what would you expect from a Fantasy Goddess such as myself? Men can have such fragile egos sometimes, yet you all keep coming back to me week after week for me to lay down my wisdom, so you too, can dominate your leagues. I thank you for that.

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I am not going to be the umpteenth fantasy football blogger to use some combination of Lil Nas X, horses and Michael Gallup. So while he’s the dude in the picture and the title, I’m just not going to do it. Too easy. I can just imagine the king of titles, our Rudy Gamble, just shaking his head reading a title like “The Horses in the back are Gallup’ing all the way home” or Matte black hat wearing Cowboy Michael Gallup’ing into your lineups this weekend” or Lil Nas X or Michael Gallup, who’s got their horses in the back?” So instead let’s through it back to the original Galloping Ghost, Red Grange. What a badass nickname and take a look at the guy:

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Your body hurts and your lungs sting with every breath of freezing air. I know that many days you regret this adventure. Like that one time you benched DJ Chark, or when you blew the top waiver priority on Wayne Gallman. It can get bleak on the mountain, I won’t lie about that.

There is excitement in the challenge, however. Even if you’re winless and feel like you’ve lost your way, don’t give up. I am old enough to have seen 0-5 teams advance to a championship. Each week a new puzzle presents itself, and we just need to solve one at a time.

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B_Don and Donkey are back at it talking pick-ups on the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast. The player pool may lack hot adds this week but our holes still must be filled, if you know what I’m saying. 

The guys each share their top 5 adds for this week who are owned in less than 50% of leagues, including Chase Edmonds, A.J. Brown, Rex Burkhead, Diontae Johnson, Henry Henry and Chris Herndon.
 
Then, the fellas take a look at some players owned in less than 5% of leagues including Byron Pringle, Preston Williams, Ryquell Armstead, Keesean Johnson, Andy Isabella and Willie Snead. And don’t miss Donkey Teeth’s a**hole of the week, a certain cart maintenance man from the Steel City. Kick back, tune in and dominate your waiver wire!
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If you’re not up for story time, you can skip right down to performance checks. It’s personal and probably not for everybody, but I wanted to tell it anyways. 

Speaking of worries, we had a medical emergency with my son on Sunday afternoon and that would explain why I didn’t post on Monday. Before we continue on this crazy journey, everything is fine now. On Sunday afternoon I was watching the games and switching off checking on our son with my wife. He had a lingering stomach ache since after breakfast. He actually threw up and said he was starting to feel better. I checked for a fever, nada. We Gave him some medicine to settle his stomach down. Everything is fine, he just has a stomach bug.

Around the time the late afternoon games kicked off, things got really intense. He yelled “MOM, DAD!” and we ran upstairs. He was sitting on the floor holding his stomach grimacing in pain, his chicken noodle soup untouched. It was time to go to the hospital. 

We get to the hospital, I think that he has food poisoning and my wife thinks that his appendix is on the verge of bursting. The doctor? He thinks it’s gas. They do an X-Ray, there are no blockages (not a gas issue). The pain is intensifying for him and my palms are getting sweaty and my wife is getting tears in her eyes. My patience is wearing thin.

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In a perfect world: there would be no need for handcuff and injury reports, starting backs never lose their job, nor get injured. If there ever was a week that emulated this world, we lived it in week 5. Instead of implosions and injuries, week 5 was filled with fantasy explosions. The first couple of weeks have turned into preseason-esque football: poor performances and athletes getting in “game shape” are the new norm to start the NFL season. October is here and the football that was expected has arrived.

The week 5 fantasy gods were kind to us, avoiding any major injuries to starting running backs. Just because there were no injuries or any major handcuff to report on, it does not mean we get to take our foot off the gas. Now is the time for owners to secure their handcuff and prepare for the end of the fantasy season, as owners give up on under performing handcuffs that were over-drafted. Look for players like Rashaad Penny, Ito Smith, Tony Pollard, Malcolm Brown, Alexander Mattison, Latavius Murray, and Jaylen Samuels to be dropped this week. If you own any of their respective starting backs, you want to make sure you secure your insurance policy before it’s too late and before the price increases.

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Falcons are a protected species in the United States, but over in India they actually have an annual two-week falcon hunt where thousands upon thousands of falcons are massacred each year. It was on a pilgrimage to the Taj Mahal that Will Fuller developed a taste, or rather an addiction, to these beautiful birds of prey. So when the Falcons glided into Houston on Sunday, they never stood a chance against the bloodthirsty Fuller as he went off for 217 yards on 14 catches with his first 3 touchdowns of the season. The Texans wide receiver will now go into hiding for several weeks as the authorities attempt to track him down for his foul treatment of the fowl. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

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It is the first Sunday of October! The weather is starting to get a little cooler around the league and the matchups are starting to heat up. Well, sort of. We have a couple of nice matchups to look forward to, but fantasy football stats count the same whether the games are good or not. The premier matchup doesn’t come until the late afternoon and that’s between the Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers. 

We have 10 early games today and 2 late afternoon games. I still don’t get it, but you’re probably sick of me complaining about it at this point. We’ll make the most of it. The New Orleans Saints will host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and that will be an interesting test for Alvin Kamara as well as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers offense as a whole. The Ravens and the Steelers should be interesting, because the matchups usually are. The Cardinals vs. the Bengals will be a disaster, but the scoreboard could light up in this one. Another game with a lot of potential scoring is the Falcons/Texans matchup. The o/u for that game sits at 50. 

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We are already a quarter of the way through the NFL season and I still find myself thinking how much I missed football on Sundays. It felt great to go through the football routine last week after missing weeks 2 & 3. Ironically, I had my worst week of the season at the sportsbook. Too much research can be a bad thing. Let’s take a quick look at some buy and sells without overthinking things.

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We are now at the quarter-mark of the NFL season, believe it or not! We’re now starting to get a better feel for who we should be starting and sitting on a week-to-week basis, and which matchups are actually ones to target, rather than matchups that look good because of a small sample size.

There are some very interesting matchups on deck for Week 5, so let’s talk about some.

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What. The Hell. Happened.

Touchdowns to AJ Brown? DeVante Parker? Trevor Davis? Brandon Bolden? Ito Smith? Ricky Seals-Jones? Troymaine Pope? AJ Brown (again)?

This was the start to Week 4’s Sunday slate that granted DFS players absolutely no pleasure whatsoever. Seriously? I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a laundry list of names that I literally would never have dreamed of drafting, and I really don’t think I have to re-evaluate my strategy.

But that’s the great thing about daily fantasy. Unless there was some lunatic who drafted Trevor Davis in hopes of a 60-yard end around score – and apologies for calling you a lunatic if you were that person – then everyone suffered the same result and it likely didn’t affect your teams’ chances of winning too, too much.

Either way, let’s hope for a more reasonable output in Week 5.

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