Mike Honcho

By the Numbers, Week 5: Bennie and the Jets

October 7, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 22 Comments

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Whoa… It’s Week 5 already? How’d that happen? Time flies, right kids? Or as Bill Shakespeare would say “the swiftest hours, as they flew.” I love going all 1609 on you. You’re impressed, admit it. Plus the college girls just love it when I show up to the local watering hole and quote “Othello” all night until they acknowledge me. Ha! Just kidding. I’m too old for college girls. They all ignore me anyway. Plus, I’m way too busy on Saturday nights for any kind of commitment. So there! Here’s a typical Saturday night for me: Check all 158 fantasy lineups….for the fifth time. Check voicemail…..Empty….Iron my Ed Hardy shirts in case anyone calls….Update my “Dream Journal.” Update my “Fear Journal.” Look in the mirror….do six push ups…..Look in the mirror again. Log into Facebook…..get political information. Work on application for Trump University. See folks, Honcho’s time is at a premium. I need to be efficient in every aspect of my life. That’s why I put so much time into what’s important: Fantasy football stats. Really, to be honest, I do it all for you. Because we’re best friends. You’re just not aware of it yet. Invite me over sometime and I’ll prove it. So here’s the deal. This week contains a handful of nice passing match ups, but there’s one that really stands out. I’m going in big on Ben Roethlisberger this week as the Steelers host the Jets at Heinz Field. The Jets’ pass defense has struggled mightily this year, and they allowed 288 yards passing, three touchdowns and had zero interceptions vs Russell Wilson and the Seahawks last week. Through their first four games the Jets are allowing 285 yards passing per contest and they’ve yielded 8 passing TDs as well. They’re also giving up 23.9 fantasy points per game to opposing QBs (5th most) and 10.4 (8th most) fantasy points per game to TEs. The Steelers are absolutely loaded at wide receiver so you can expect Ben to continue his air assault this week against a Jets group ranked in the bottom half of the league in points allowed to WRs.

Here’s a look at some of my favorite passing and rushing matchups for Week 5:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Dominic Hall

Beyond the Numbers, Week 5: Draft Report Card

October 6, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 12 Comments

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The day you got report cards in school was always probably the worst day of the month for most people. Regardless of whether or not you did well, it was always stressful waiting for your judgment to be handed down to you in the form of a single letter. While I’m not going to give players a letter grade for their performance on the year so far, I think it’s about time to check in on what they’re doing for your fantasy team. A fourth of the season is finished and it’s time to start making moves if your team isn’t producing. This week, I’m taking nearly 20 of the year’s most intriguing players and letting you know how they should be viewed for the rest of the season. With some trade targets and waiver wire names to grab for “failing” players, let’s get to it in this week’s edition of Beyond the Numbers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
MB

I Scream, You Stream, Week 5: Hoyer Hopes

October 6, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 17 Comments

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Welcome back to the weekly streamer extravaganza.  Bye weeks are really catching stride with some key players so make sure to check out this article each week for some fill-ins.  Also there have been 12,642 injuries thus far so even if you aren’t in bye week hell, chances are your team is being ravaged by injuries.  Fantasy football really doesn’t make any sense, especially this season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Fantasy Football Rankings, Week 5

October 6, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Weekly Rankings | 154 Comments

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Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 26 out of 135 68 39 14 57 4 10
2015 22 out of 123 – – – – – –
2014 31 out of 125 – – – – – –

Yeah, so… I started doing this post that tried to provide an inside look into my rankings results, players I hit on, missed, etc. (like this), partly because I liked the idea of providing more disclosure with my process, and partly because I didn’t have to clutter the top of this rankings post with that ugly box of numbers. But let’s be honest, we had no idea what the ef was going on with that new information. Looking at it, I couldn’t really figure out what it actually provided that was beneficial, so I think we’ll just move on from it and do the same old thing we’ve always done. And speaking of which, Razzball had a great week… myself, Tehol, and Rudy all averaged out in the top-25 rankings put together, and separately, Tehol finished in the top-50, and Rudy (and his Pigskinator) finished 11th out of all experts, including getting first overall with quarterbacks! Our success is your success, as one of those motivational posters with a kitten lifting a fire truck or whatever says. One of those.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
mikeMaher

Handcuff Report, Week 5: An Artis-Payne-ful Week to Watch

October 5, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 27 Comments

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If you think that headline is bad, the other one I considered was “Seeing the Forsett for the Trees.” And if you don’t like making a pun out of a phrase that is at least a few centuries old, then I don’t know what to do for you. Oh well, maybe you and I are just not meant to be. It’s not easy coming up with running back puns every week based on fantasy relevance. Sometimes you have to dig deep and get weird with it.

Before we get down to business, everybody, pour a little out for the homie Justin Forsett. This dude has had a rough couple months. Forsett got cut at the end of the preseason, got resigned a week later and STARTED week one, got benched in week four, and now—as if watching Terrance West go off for 100+ yards on Sunday wasn’t hard enough—just got released on Tuesday. His release has been described as a mutual parting, with Forsett hoping to get an opportunity with another team, but this is still a tough run for a running back who turns 31 in less than two weeks.

Now that we have that out of the way, has everyone finished cursing the name of John Kuhn? While Mark Ingram owners received a solid day and a touchdown from him, they had to watch John Kuhn vulture not one, not two, not three—OK, it was three—touchdowns on the day (I’ll never forgive myself for linking to that clip). I’ll pause here while you break things around your house, as I probably brought this back up just as you were starting to forget about it. Kuhn was easily the biggest surprise on Sunday.

And now, to the report…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
malamoney

Who Are These Guys?, Week 5: Rising Higher and Hoyer

October 5, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 25 Comments

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Chicago Bears quarterback Brian Hoyer (2) runs to the field as players are introduced before an NFL football game between the Chicago Bears and the Detroit Lions, Sunday, Oct. 2, 2016, in Chicago. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh) ORG XMIT: CXB1

Last week Brian Hoyer would have made this list had Trevor Siemian not had such a strong outing. This week Hoyer would not be denied, finishing as a top ten QB in week 4. He was no Matt Ryan, but he did throw for 302 yards and two touchdowns. That’s a whole two more yard than Julio Jones had receiving. As a matter of fact, Jones had more yards than all but five quarterbacks. I think HBO just inked a deal for a new show called Game of Jones. Julio Jones, Matt Jones, Jacoby Jones, Chipper Jones and James Earl Jones all battle it out for the right to have their way with one of Lolo Jones, Rashida Jones or Catherine Zeta Jones. My money’s on Darth Vader. Although I think Indiana Jones could at least make it entertaining. For those wondering, this will be a much better show than Keeping Up With The Joneses.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Son

Bear or Bull, Week 5: ODB

October 5, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 17 Comments

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“Oh baby I like it raw. Yeah baby I like it raw.”

We play a fantasy game that tabulates stats from the performances of human beings playing the real game of football. To win, one must devoid emotion from the process and select the players that project to score the most points. It’s a very cold and robotic process, something the NFL (No Fun League) is probably ecstatic about. Yet, we are human. Antonio Brown scores two touchdowns and starts twerking in the endzone? We are on cloud 9 and put Antonio on the short list of baby names. C.J. Anderson fumbles at the goal line, costing countless owners a win, and people flock to Twitter and send death threats and racial slurs. One of the excuses I see thrown around to explain this behavior is that fans are passionate (but that’s not an excuse for stupidity, but that’s another discussion for another day). Okay. But you know what? Football players are humans too!!! And they have just as much passion, if not more than you or I. How else could you explain the willingness to consciously get into multiple car crashes a day?

I’ve seen so much silliness the past week regarding Odell Beckham Jr.…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
LT Murray IV

Disgraces and Delights, Week 5: Mike Evans Lets His Snake Out the Cage

October 5, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Weekly Rankings | 129 Comments

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Greetings! I hope this note reaches Jay in time, for tomorrow, I leave on a boat trip through the treacherous San Juan Islands, and yes my goodmen, I’m on an epic adventure in search of mass amounts of plunder and booty (mostly booty). The simple and honest truth is, I could be killed, kidnapped, ransomed, or even frog-humped and feathered for all I know. If I go down with my ship (150 ft. yacht), I’d like you all to remember me for the man I was… check that, remember me for the man I was going to be, for I haven’t yet come close to reaching the spiritual levels I’ve slowly begun to master on my way to level four ninja-sex master-God… and that would have been a sight to see. Lord Beddict at a level four? Only the Elder Gods could even begin to imagine the amount of swimsuit models impregnated by a man who will never actually meet the children. For they shall watch him from afar, through their televisions or computers, preaching to the world the sort of positive impact fantasy sports can have on child’s life. They shall know him as Lord Beddict, and they shall be proud. They shall be proud and say: “That beautiful, sexy, shredded, poetic, charming, loving man, once stuck his meat thermometer in momma’s turkey. It’s an honor.” Or something of that nature. You get what I’m saying, don’t you? [Jay’s Note: LOL] No? Good, because I have no idea what I’m talking about.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
M@

Working the Wire, Week 5: Left Wanting More After Week 4

October 4, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Waiver Wire | 43 Comments

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ksbp

Few things make me excited to wake up. Haha, I mean, I love life, but I also love my sleep. And I’m just guessing here, but I don’t think I’m alone in that. However, one day a week I am genuinely excited to wake up the moment my alarm goes off. And it’s not because doing the grown up in the morning (although always fun).

Nope, it’s Tuesdays. Because Tuesday means I can check the updated standings in my fantasy football leagues, see the new point totals within the standings (the true measure of how well you’re actually doing), start setting my lineup for the next week, and give my first glance at how I need to work the waiver wire. Does that make me weird? I’ll vote no. And I’ll imagine that a lot of you feel the same. Tuesdays…the best non-football day of the week.

This Tuesday was no different from any others. At first. I woke up before the sun, walked over to grab my phone and began scrolling through all my leagues to see the updates now that we’re four weeks in. So much anticipated joy was shortly replaced by an increasing disappointment. Sure, I didn’t do wonderful in Week 4 (went against Julio Jones in 3 leagues, and Matt Ryan in another 3…including one where my opponent had both. Ugh.), but the real cause for disappointment was found in the LACK OF ANYTHING TO WORK WITH ON THE WIRE! Haha, ok…now I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s examine just whom is actually worth targeting, and see if any deserve a dope emoji next to their names. Here’s how you can work the wire for Week 5.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jennifer

Hit it or Quit it, Week 5: My Dixon Isn’t a Smallwood

October 4, 2016 | 2016 Buy/Sell, 2016 Fantasy Football | 26 Comments

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Welcome back, my Horde!  I am sorry that I once again had to leave you in the lurch last week.  I know how you so depend on your weekly interactions with me, not only for spank bank fodder, but your required human socialization as well.  It turns out that Mother Goddess was ill and being the sensational daughter that I am, she had to come before all of your perverted needs.  Needless to say, she is on the mend and has given me permission to attend to your needs now.  Ugh, it is so trying being so in demand, but I understand your addiction.  I am quite charming, after all.  So, first things first, how did you fare in Week 4?  Me? Not so good.  I was beaten so badly that Chris Brown Tweeted that he had nothing to do with it and was nowhere around me at the time.  I swear.  Look it up.  I am chalking this week’s shellacking up to being a good daughter and not prioritizing Fantasy Football over Mother Goddess’s health and well-being.  So, for those of you who went up against me this past week, enjoy the freebee, because I don’t come cheap.  I also managed to lose some of my muscle on my teams to my Black Widow Curse, so it is good to know that at least that is consistent.  I am sure that you all got nailed too (and not in a good way).  So, without further ado, let’s see what I can do to assist you in repairing your damaged rosters with this week’s edition of Hit it or quit it, Week 5.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
RotoLance

World Wide FAAB, Week 5: Consider Me, I’m Marty B.

October 4, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 Roster Strategy | 24 Comments

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I didn’t see any big shakeups this week. Did we truly go a week without an injury to a fantasy starting wide receiver or running back? Well anyway, what I have here are some names we know very well, the most promising names here were drafted in most leagues. Sadly, I know many of them are not widely available in 12-team leagues but I would rather include oft owned players than not have analysis available for those of you that need it. I also think that many of these players will be hard to get into your starting lineups. There’s a lot of uncertainty with them, which makes sense considering some of them have been owned previously but dropped. Also,”I TOLD PERCY I’D DO THIS!” Wait, what? Here’s fantasy football advice…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Bradford-Turner Overdrive

October 4, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 137 Comments

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Well, we had some derp, we had a whole bunch of boring, and so… we had your prototypical Monday Night Football game. But clearly, let’s be sure to give them their due, the Vikings are for real. Sorta. Maybe. I mean kinda. That’s my definitive opinion. In what was a not particularly close game (but not really a blow out), the Giants once again proved that they have one of the best wide receiver trio’s in the NFL and have no idea how to use them correctly. Ben Mcadoo-doo and Eli Manning keep trying to make Will Tye a thing, and I have no clue as to why. He’s like the Hollywood version of Jai Courtney. And while the Giants shortcomings on offense have been a big frustrating so far, the same can’t be said for the Vikings. I mean, I haven’t heard this much praise for Norv Turner since he defended Earth from that meteor shower. And who would have thought Sam Bradford was the next coming of “Sam Bradford fulfilling his potential”? I mean, the Vikings are 4-0… incredible. And yeah, half their wins were against the Titans and the Giants, the version of which we saw last night that was quite meh. But the other two are against the Panthers and Packers. You put all this together, and you actually have a team that is on it’s way to the playoffs. And a lot of sad Bears fans…

Please, blog, may I have some more?