FanDuel, Week 5: A Swift Brees

What a weird week. I’m not talking about how the Falcons Devonta Freeman was the only player last week to score more points than Chiefs Kicker Cairo Santos, it was just the fact that HOLY COW DEVONTA FREEMAN WAS THE ONLY PLAYER TO DO BETTER THAN CAIRO SANTOS. At this point, it’s just best to give up and start playing Daily Fantasy Hockey. That’s what I’m doing. Seriously though, Alec Martinez is such a value play. Yes, he’s behind Drew Doughty, but the Sharks’ offense isn’t all that, he’s on the second PP and Defensive Lines and plus, his ATOI was almost close to 20 minutes per game last year! C’etait incroyable! Anyhow, I may have said to start Colin Kaepernick last week, but I am very confident in saying that both Carson Palmer and Alec Martinez will eventually make me very happy. I love you Carson Palmer and Alec Martinez. But DFS Hockey isn’t what Jay wants me to do. So let’s do what Jay wants me to do.

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That Was So Very Houston of the Texans

by: Jay

In a surprising turn of events for Thursday Night Football, this game was actually semi-entertaining. I’m saying “semi” because I don’t want to get too crazy here, seeing as how there were plenty of trademarks for a Thursday game present. But there was some offense, and a lot of it came from old people. Matt Hasselbeck, Frank Gore, Andre Johnson, and Adam Vinatieri all directly contributed to the Colts victory, combining their centuries of experience in the NFL into spry performances. However, the more direct contributions to a crucial Colts victory came from Brian Hoyer (and the ineffective Texans defense). After Ryan Mallet was pulled because Arian Foster whiffed on a catch (Bill O’Brien logic!), we saw an accurate, decisive, and competent three quarters from Hoyer. And then, on a potential game-tying drive at the two minute warning, complete and utter derp (shown above) happened. It’s essentially what Brett Favre could do so well (not counting cell phone technology) back in the day. And as the Colts once again get rewarded for mediocrity by being in the worst division in football (for at least 15 years now), the Texans continue to be the posterchild for the modern day NFL: If you don’t have a quarterback, you’re f*cked.

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Thursday Night Football Live Thread, Week 5: Colts vs. Texans

October 8, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 18 Comments

by: Jay

In a legendary battle between Matt Hasselbeck (with the added bonus of recovering from a viral infection, which I’m just assuming is called “getting old”) and Ryan Mallet, the Colts will hope to hold onto an already tumultuous season against a division rival that’s been their personal punching bag for the last decade. Andrew Luck is still experiencing shoulder “pain”, even though he’s been throwing well this week in practice. Then again, sitting Luck seems to be the “big picture” decision that I would normally support. Though, this type of mindset seems odd coming from a franchise that hasn’t noticed issues on their offensive and defensive lines for about three years now (or the past twenty, if you think about it). But the Texans seem to be impressed with the Colts front office decision-making so much that they themselves have chosen to waste away the career of probably one of the best modern-day defensive players with attaching mediocre everything around J.J. Watt. Except at the quarterback position. No, the Texans always find a way to turn that position into a complete and utter dumpster fire. So here we are, two mediocre teams resting their hopes on one Matt Hasselbeck and one Ryan Mallet… yup, sounds like peak Thursday Night Football to me!

Rankings have been updated for tonight game and can be found here.

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The Injury Report, Week 5: The Empire Strikes Steve Smith’s Back

October 8, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Injury Report | 14 Comments

by: RotoLance

Some dude in black hit Steve Smith’s back. And he was off to a great start this year. For some reason I wasn’t watching the game last Thursday, I was following it though my Twitter timeline and FantasyCast. Which I think was something that actually heightened the “experience”. It meant being flooded with Joe Flacco “elite” Tweets, however. I mean, when I saw through FantasyCast that Joe Flacco had rushed for zero (or negative) yards on a 4th down play, if I recall, I immediately checked my timeline for the expected barrage of inevitable “Elite Sneak” Tweets. Like this one:

Elitesneak

— Jason Longfellow (@jaywrong) October 2, 2015

So how about actually discussing that Steve Smith injury.. Okay. In due time. Firstly, I want to remind all of you that I’m ordering this injury discussion from greatest impact to least impact on your fantasy teams. And Steve Smith’s leading off. Which is both good and bad. It’s good that we don’t have a more significant injury this week and bad for all the Steve Smith owners, because he was going to return value over his cost this year.

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Smokey Says, Week 5: Poppin’ Willie’s

October 8, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 10 Comments

by: Smokey

Put your helmets on (this is for your safety). I don’t need to actually wear one, becuase helmets are for squares and homeless roller-bladers. It is making a comeback amongst the less fortunate. Don’t believe me? Go use the interwebs. Everytime I use the term “poppin'”, the addicted side of my personality jumps to the forefront of who… what… where. For nonsensical terms and since it’s football season, lets keep it civil and discuss some footie. Last week went fairly well for my prediction, as a matter of fact, the week before that went just as nice. One day I will have a flock of basement-dwelling social media bangers asking me roster questions. This week is all about a team that some have written off as a fantasy blah so far through four weeks. I am talking about the Saints, and the player that I am hyping this week is Willie Snead. The Saints travel to the land of fantasy brotherly love when it comes to the wide-out position. Wanna hear more about Fast Willie and how the Eagles are going to get exposed… again?

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IDP Rankings, Week 5: The (Cow)Boys are Back in Town

October 8, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 IDP Rankings, 2015 IDP Report | 28 Comments

by: Kevin Kumpf

Period	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
Week 4	54.3%	15 out of 21	59.9%	31.5%	Top 75%
2015	59.2%	5 out of 19	61.9%	50.1%	Top 30%

In August, it’s easy to draft a guy who’s going to miss the first four games with a suspension. “I’ll be patient,” you tell yourself. “I’m getting him at a discount, and worst-case scenario I’ll be 2-2 when he comes back.” You probably also talked yourself into Jeff Janis and Devin Funchess. As soon as the games start, things change, and even the best laid plans can go awry. I bring this up because both Rolando McClain and Greg Hardy return from suspension this week, and there is a decent chance that at least one of them is on your waiver wire. If that’s the case, pick them up NOW. McClain had a resurgent 2014, proving himself as a borderline weekly starter when he was healthy. I’d be hesitant to start him this week, as he will likely rotate with Anthony Hitchens, but given the uncertainty surrounding Sean Lee’s concussion status, McClain is absolutely worth picking up. The bigger deal is obviously Hardy, who has the potential to inject some life into what has been a miserable DL position so far in 2015. He immediately becomes a top-20 DL, with top-5 upside.

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Rankings, Week 5: The First Quarter

October 8, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Weekly Rankings | 124 Comments

by: Jay

Period	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
Week 4	56.4%	12 out of 135	59.9%	41.1%	Top 10%
Week 3	59.1%	18 out of 134	65.0%	42.1%	Top 15%
Week 2	53.4%	85 out of 135	65.2%	46.2%	Top 65%
Week 1	56.8%	54 out of 137	62.8%	46.3%	Top 40%
2015	56.4%	23 out of 132	59.4%	48.3%	Top 20%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

As the title spoiled (SORRY!), the first quarter of the season is now complete (which means our Rest of Season Rankings have been released!), and I’m proud to say that our last two weeks were stellar. Last week’s rankings finished 12th overall, good for the top 10%, bringing our in-season numbers close to the top-20. I usually don’t like to pat myself on the back, even though God created arms for that purpose and that purpose only (okay, okay, arms are also good for arm wrestling), but my success means your success. So, I can be a boastful (and a quite handsome) fella, just as long as it’s for a good cause. I’m okay with this. At this time, I want to add that I’m a kind-hearted, amazing person that deserves your reverence. Which is the best segue ever, because I know it’s all fun and games, and, you know, yo momma jokes here at Razzball, but I did want all of you to consider donating to the Red Cross. Millions of refugees are fleeing conditions in Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan because of profound and abhorrent violence and persecution. Not to get too serious, but helping these people is a big deal to me, and if you can spare anything, whatever the amount, it’s meaningful. Alright, alright, let’s get back to the good stuff… Like yo momma.

Here are your Week 5 Rankings:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgrace and Delight, Week 5: Peyton the Elder

October 7, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 118 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! I hope you’re all enjoying that missed call from the Seahawks Monday Night Football game as much as I am. I’ve been witnessing a great deal of Seahawks hate across the nation on Twitter and it pains me. It pains me a great deal. What’s not to like about the Seahawks? Their defense from top to bottom is honest to the Gods one of the greatest assemblages of talent in the history of the NFL. They have a cool (kind of) young quarterback in Russell Wilson who makes multiple jaw-dropping plays every single week… and Beastmode… EFFING BEASTMODE! If I wasn’t from Seattle, I would still be enamored with this squad, but maybe I just like cooler sh*t than you do, or maybe I’m just more of a man/woman (?) than you. Either way, I will drink the tears of sadness from the hundreds of thousands of downtrodden Bengals fans once we go in there and beat the brakes off em next Sunday. It has been written. [Jay’s Note: Uh, two teams are tied for dead last in the NFL in offensive touchdowns with just five. One is the 49ers. Want to guess who the other team is?]

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

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Who Are These Guys?, Week 5: Kissing Cousins

October 7, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 19 Comments

by: malamoney

Apparently there is some discrepancy as to what exactly a “kissing cousin” is. Am I even allowed to end a sentence with the word “is”? [Jay’s Note: Sure are!] Either way, I just did. It is what it is. Like many, I have always thought a kissing cousin was a second, or more distant, cousin in which that law allows you to bed. Contrary definitions say it is any person close enough to kiss hello upon greeting. The law dictates that one cannot marry a first cousin. Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins. Jerry Lee Lewis did too, and she was only 13 years old at the time. I’m not even going to begin to attempt to recount the number of violations to this and other related rules in The Game of Thrones. Speaking of GOT, when is that coming back? The Leftovers season two just started and I’m not really sure how to react to the first episode. Anyone else? So what band of idiots can I put together from Week 4 that would have unexpectedly gone from geek to chic and crushed any team in its path.

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2015 Rest of Season Rankings

October 7, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Fantasy Football Rankings | 149 Comments

by: Jay

Period	Accuracy	Rank	High	Low	Percentile
2015	56.4%	23 out of 132	59.4%	48.3%	Top 20%
2014	58.1%	31 out of 125	60.7%	50.6%	Top 25%

A lot has changed in a month, oh, hold on… I’m sorry, just one second here, let me take off my captain’s hat. It takes so long to remove because of how big it is. I think it’s probably since the word “obvious” is in, like, size 840 font. As I was saying, it feels like years (DECADES EVEN!) since we’ve gone back and updated the preseason rankings. And there’s a reason for that. I’m just not a huge movement guy early in the season, probably because of the profound lack of fiber in my diet. I hesitate making reactionary moves, and I’d rather see how things play out in a majority of scenarios in Fantasy Football. Much like Fantasy Baseball, I want to see how things stew a bit before making wholesale changes, and to be honest, I would love you to do the same. Now, unlike baseball, waiting 20 games or so for trends to emerge wouldn’t work here, as you’d be making roster changes around Super Bowl time… just a little bit tardy there. Just a little. But taking the beginning of the season in a 4-game increment can be beneficial for your mind, body, soul, and probably loins. There’s science to back this up, I swear.

Here are Razzball’s Rest of Season Rankings for 2015:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Through the Wire, Week 5: Cousins and Juniors

October 6, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Waiver Wire | 106 Comments

by: Geoff

I’d like to begin this week’s post with a big shout out to the homie Dolphins owner Stephen Ross. Good looks on firing Philbin my man, hopefully the next coach you hire can actually use Lamar Miller. Particularly in 1st-and-goal scenarios, but I know, I’m nitpicking. Now that the hey “how’s your fathers”, and the “did you get that lump looked at” are out of the way, we can move onto talking waiver wire adds and the guys Yahoo and ESPN will tell you to pickup in two weeks. So how was everybody’s Week 4? Mine was good, I want 11-2 across my baker’s dozen of teams. Am I bragging? Maybe a little, but then again this is the first winning week I’ve had all year. Meaning I have three teams above .500. Yes, I’m the guy you go to for waiver wire news, not because I know what the hell I’m doing, but because my teams are so wretched, that I’m constantly shopping on the wire to fill my band of beleaguered flunkies. In other words, I’m not only Razzball’s resident waiver wire President, I’m also a client! Here are your adds for Week 5 of fantasy football.

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The Benchwarmers, Week 5: Randling All These Injuries

October 6, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 13 Comments

by: Doug

So like my team (the best team in the league of course) the Patriots had their bye on Week 4, so did I. But now I’m back, and all of you who were lost without my words of wisdom are saved. As the season is ¼ over, we are starting to see injuries, starters struggling, and backups thriving. This changes the tide of who is worth owning and who is worth dropping. As always, I’m here to lead you in the right direction. And the first player I’m going to talk about is someone I never thought I’d mention worth owning since like 2010…

Please, blog, may I have some more?