A last minute intake of Skittles wasn’t enough to fix Marshawn Lynch’s hamstring this past weekend, so the Seahawks will be hosting the Lions for Monday Night Football without their star running back. But that’s okay, because they have this thing called Jimmy Graham, who, if you didn’t know, used to play basketball. They also have a Kam Chancellor back, his second game now, who is a prominant part of the infamous “Legion of Boom”, which… has lost a little bit of the boom lately, but none of their boom-mouth or boom-swagger. But at least Richard Sherman has found other hobbies, like buying pizza with his phone. Hey, some people need goals to motivate them, so I hope that biting a piece of pizza will help him not bite on double-moves so often. They also have a thing called Thomas Rawls, who rushed for 104 yards agains the Bears in Week 3. To be fair though, I could probably rush 100+ yards against the Bears. But with the Lions at a dangerous precipice at 0-3, they find themselves in a desperate situation with the possibility of falling four games behind the 4-0 Packers. To be fair though, that seems like familiar territory for the Lions… Oh, and as a former resident of over eight years in the fine city of Seattle, please, don’t come out of this game thinking the only two things we have in the city is the Space Needle and people throwing fish. DON’T BELIEVE THEIR LIES.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In what was a interesting-because-it-was-close-but-sorta-kinda-boring-anyways Sunday Night Football game, Dallas once again proved that they are two different teams depending on which half it is. It’s almost as if they are preserving the long-held tradition of Romonobyl. An homage, if you will. While the Saints are hanging on to dear life and Brees’ busted shoulder with an 1-3 record, they’d be hard pressed to catch up with the surging Falcons and Panthers as the season progresses. I’m actually still bewildered by the fact that NFC South teams are actually capable of surging. That being said, the Cowboys find themselves in the untenable position of having everything needed to dominate a weak NFC East, but having those things injured for more than half the season (including Lance Dunbar tearing his ACL last night). The Giants were gifted a win against Buffalo, who had 17 penalties, and the Eagles were beaten unresoundingly by Washington. These teams are not good at all, and hilariously any one of them can take the division. But like the Cowboys, none of them seem to want it. Almost like some kind of derpy game of hot potato. Now that I think about it, this is actually peak NFC East. Carry on…
Here’s what else I saw in Week 4:
New to Daily Fantasy Football? TryĀ out this new free FanDuelās contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to another Sunday Night Football game, this time featuring the Dallas Cowboys versus the Denver Broncos. Wait, what’s that you say? The Broncos aren’t playing? Oh, my bad. Must be a bad habit I developed withĀ every primetime game featuringĀ the Broncos. Regardless, a special shoutout should go to Drew Brees for making this not a game of Brandon Weeden going against Luke McCown. If the Blake Bortles and Matt Hasselback game earlier today was any king of indication, I probably would have been seduced by the sweet escape of seppuku by half-time. Sure, Brandon Weeden is still part of the equation, but it could have been so much worse. So much. And Brees return couldn’t come back any sooner, with the Saints already 0-3 and Atlanta (and Carolina) winning earlier in the day almost guarantees that there won’t be sub-.500 playoff team to allow their mediocrity and slow start to be bailed out. I say “almost” because this is the NFC South and I wouldn’t actually be surprised if the Falcons finished first in the division going 4-12. On the flipside, the Cowboys are trying to hold on until Dez Bryant and Tony Romo return, by Week 7 and Week 11, respectively, if things go right. However, based on how their season has gone thus far, I’d add about 15 more weeks to those projections…
Please, blog, may I have some more?In a match-up that has featured some really good games, both during the regular season and the playoffs, today’s game will try it’s hardest to destroy those fond memories as a momentum-riddled Packers team will go against a 49ers team that’s struggling not to be the new Browns. While I would normally say they have no chance at this enormous feat, you know, becauseĀ the old Browns are still doing their darnedest to be the new Browns, the Colin Kaepernick-ledĀ 49ers areĀ trying to find new depths in whichĀ to bury themselves in. They’ve given up over 40-points two straight weeks, resembling something I’d see while playing NFL Blitz. While the Packers are suffering a bit from the injuries to Davante Adams, and to a lesser extent, Eddie Lacy, the resurgence of James Jones has helped baffle everyone on how he was able to go from ridiculously bad to ridiculously good, (but sometimes bad) so fast. What I’m basically saying is, Aaron Rodgers is good at football.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I had always thought that spreading the sport of football to Great Britain was seemingly a waste of time. Finally, I can say that the NFL agrees with me. By sending the Jets and Dolphins to London it almost assuredly guarantees that the NFL will spread like frozen butter. Yes, that’s the best I could come up with. On top of having to wake up earlier than normal to start watching football (first world problems), we also have our first bye week to contend with, losing such powerhouse franchises like the Patriots and, uh… the Titans (THEY ARE THE BESTEST FRANCHISE EVER) this weekend. However, there are still some intriguing Early Game match-ups, including the Giants vs. Bills, and Derpfest 2015: Eagles vs. Washington. There’s also a Raiders vs. Bears game, just in case you needed more “stabbing your eyes with the nearest sharp object” in your life. So what I’m basically saying is, myĀ alcohol consumption will be beginning at 9:30 A.M. EDT today. Thanks NFL!
Rankings have been updated for today’s game and you can find them here.
New to Daily Fantasy Football? TryĀ out this new free FanDuelās contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)
Please, blog, may I have some more?So, my friend from college sent me a photo today of a T-shirt.Ā Now, I don’t know if it’s because he saw my lineup fail miserably in FanDuel, if he read my column last week, or if he just knows that I love anything fantasy related.Ā The shirt read as follows: “The process was correct, F*ck you, Nick Foles.”Ā Co-sign, T-shirt maker.Ā The last comment I got on my streamers column last week was, “Want to get away? SMH.”Ā Yes, kind sir, I was shaking my head too, because while the calls were correct (remember, this IS a streamers column, meaning they are far from a sure thing), the advice didn’t work out.Ā Ryan Fitzpatrick, meh.Ā Nick Foles?Ā No thanks, bro.
So I don’t need to get away, but I will get back to business this week.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Please Note: Most lineups in most formats, including Daily Fantasy, will lock at 9:30 AM EDT (6:30 AM PDT) tomorrow because of the London game.Ā Don’t forget to set your lineups accordingly!
Greetings! What an exhilarating Thursday Night Football game! Exhilarating if you enjoy watching dumpster fires or binge watching beastiality videos. Sometimes the Elder Gods like to remind us that their more meaningful things one can do with their time other than watch football games. Are you, like me, obsessed with all things NFL? Do you bail out on your significant other or turn down invitations to try exciting new things, simply because you can’t stand the thought of missing out on a single play? Sometimes it’s nice to take a breather, get out of the house and enjoy not being tortured by fantasy football for a few hours. I’d like to challenge those of you that are suffering from the same addiction as myself, to get out and at least take a walk to clear your head and think about some positive changes you can make in your life. Like, for example, stop saving money for your children’s college funds, and instead, send that money to me so that I may continue funding my quest to become world famous. I have Paypal. Cool? Cool, let’s talk about some players I like and dislike, shall we?
I am Tehol Beddict and this is, Start Em’, Sit Em’! Take heed!
My rankings have been updated for Sunday’s game and can be found here.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to the first RCL update of the year! Please come in, say hello, have some of the complimentary beverages,Ā and peep at how you stack up against theĀ competition. I’ll be your host this season, as I have just finished up on the baseball side. In case you don’t know me, my name is Jack, I’m a Virgo, I like short walks to the fridge and women that aren’t afraid to order take-out if they can’t cook. This year we have a new addition to the RCL Update, the RazzDP’s. Razzballs first ever IDP leagues. [Jay’s Note: I want to thank everyone who decided to join this new format!] After a successful beta last year, we decided to expand the leagues, up the scoring and really people, we have one of the best IDP writers in the game and it would be a waste to not take him on at his own game. I have been a huge fan of the format for a long time and together with Kevin founded these leagues to make it more fun for you. One thing I have always loved about Razzball is how much we interact with our readers.Ā I can’t think of another fantasy site on the net that interacts so well with their community. As a former commenter-turned-writer, I have an extra special passion for this place I like to call home. I’ll also be available in here to answer any football related questions (I actually started writing on the football side first) or if needed, some TV or music suggestions. I hope everyone is having a great year so far and I look forward to all your comments. Now on to the ranks…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Just one more week until the defense makes an impact on The Stats Machine. With four weeks in the books, I believe that will be enough statistics to make sense of the defensive landscape. In the mean time, let’s power up the old version of The Stats Machine one last time as see what that soon to be deprecatedĀ software has got to say about last week. Will it recognize AaronĀ Rodgers’ five touchdown effort? How aboutĀ Devonta Freeman’s huge game against the Cowboys? Who does TSM think had a better week, A.J. Green or Julio Jones? Those of you that have noticed that the title was not “Jones Means Go” are one step ahead of the game. And sometimes that’s all that matters. One step.
Please, blog, may I have some more?What a very interesting week. Big Ben could be out multiple weeks, Latavius Murray had a great game, Ryan Mathews had a great game when DeMarco was out, and Blount-Forced-Trauma was in full effect. And Buffalo took advantage of Miami without even buying a drink or driving her home.Ā C’mon Rex Ryan. Be classy. Just like your coaches when you were representing the Green and White.Ā Wisconsin beat Hawaii 28-0, if I am correct. Star running backĀ Corey Clement is being selfish and needs surgery. He could be out 4-6 weeks, which got me thinking. Good for you, Razzball readers of these weekly articles. You guys don’t need injuries, because every week is like a new season. But you already knew that, because Fanduel never has commercials. This week’s (Starting This Week) Tip of the Cap goes to Oakland CB Charles “Chuck” Woodson. What a game-winning interception he had last Sunday to seal the victory against the Browns. His kids demanded, and he put the team on his back. Good for you Chuck.Ā Oh, and before I forget. I don’t always write about how much I love Carson Palmer week to week. I figured you guys had enough. So just as an FYI, if you can put Carson Palmer in your lineup, put Carson Palmer in your lineup. I may not talk about how much I love Carson Palmer, but I do love Carson Palmer each and every week. I love you Carson Palmer.
New to Daily Fantasy Football? TryĀ out this new free FanDuelās contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)
Please, blog, may I have some more?During last night’s live thread, I queried: Which Michael Vick would show up?Ā The āwatch me earn salary Iām going to do nothing to justifyā Vick, or theĀ āIām going to trigger my disability insuranceā Vick. Turns out, it was a little bit of both. I mean, let’s be honest, you can take Michael Vick out of the Jets, but can you really take the Jets out of Michael Vick? While the Ravens 2015 season is still on life-support with a resoundingly dull win in overtime (special thanks to Josh Scobee for doing his best Josh Scobee impersonation, missing like 80 field goals, and all of them in the fourth quarter), it was nice to see Justin Forsett is actually alive and quite well. I had assumed he wasĀ legally declared dead, but the gaining of positive yardage was enough evidence to change my opinion on that matter. Despite all of that, watching Scobee slowly (or quickly, depending on how you viewed the game) get into the unemployment lineĀ combined withĀ Vick’s underwhelming performance, along with Joe Flacco’s elite everything, all topped off with the worst decision-making by coaches in a long time… well, I’m going to go ahead and call last nights game “Physically Impossible”. Because it sucked and blowed at the same time…
New to Daily Fantasy Football? TryĀ out this new free FanDuelās contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)
Please, blog, may I have some more?In what will be the official debut of “Don’t Give a Sh*t Era” Michael Vick, the 0-3 Ravens travel to Pittsburgh to see if their team is interested in a getting a win. Strangely enough, this was the first ever winless September for the Ravens. Unless you count in terms of public relations, then I would say, based on the picture above, that last season’s September winless recordĀ is still intact. The Steelers have their own set of issues with the aforementioned Michael Vick starting with Ben Roethlisberger suffering a MCL sprain last Sunday. While I’m sure still having Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell is nothing to scoff at, it’ll be interesting to see which Vick shows up tonight; will it be the “watch me earn salary I’m going to do nothing to justify” type of game or “I’m going to trigger my disability insurance” type of game. You’d think both would beĀ similar performances, but then you’d be wrong. The game will probably come down to how productive Le’Veon Bell is, now his second official game coming off his suspension. Logic dictates that since Justin Forsett has been an absolute dumpster fire that the Ravens would not be familiar enough with the concept of a running game to be able to defend against it, but I guess we’ll see. On the bright side, the Ravens do have an elite quarterback…
Please, blog, may I have some more?





