JB Gilpin

RCL Update: Week 1

September 10, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 24 Comments

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2013 RCL FootballWeek 1 is in the books!  Thanks to everyone coming out and joining the RCL community.  The official count is 276 RCL teams plus another 12 from Sky’s Expert League and the 12 in our Razzball Writer’s League.  Whoa!  An equal 300.  I feel like we are all wearing togas with spray painted abs.  Blaine Gabbert is like, “my errant passes will block out the sun!” And Andy Reid and the Chiefs say they’ll play in the shade.  It is Arrowhead after all…

Sorry again I wasn’t able to get on the pod to give the RCL top-scorer through Sunday an on-air shout out; Nick was curled up in the corner with his poutines and a bottle of Canadian Club while David Wilson threw up a negative.  “I just can’t even take hearing it from JB again for a whole ‘nother year!”  We’ll get the “technical difficulties” we had this week sorted out, so field the best week 2 team for glory.  This is Sparta!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Sky

V For Vick-tory But Dial M For Murder?

September 10, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 290 Comments

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I’m not gonna lie to you, this is being typed drunk. How drunk you ask? Well my man Chip Kelly has finally gone from Pinocchio to real boy and most of the next game I had to write up while trying to read the keys through nacho vomit, if that gives you any indication. TMI? Prolly, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that my alma mater’s former coach put on a bit of a ‘yes we can’ response to the ‘you can’t do that in the NFL’ response to the naysayers tonight and I celebrated…maybe a bit too much. How many fingers am I holding up? Yes, yes imaginary reader I’ll admit it looks a bit blurred but no more then the Eagles offense did tonight. What I do see is one finger. Namely the middle. Because that’s what I expect to see from all of you after I tell you to be cautious of your Eagles components, in particular Michael Vick. I’m not a person who always aims for the negative but let me be the developer to your photographer here and point out that – as glorious as Vick’s night was – he spent more time limping then holding his arm up in victory. Vick took a lot of shots tonight and that needs to NOT go unnoticed. Chip’s never been kind to his QBs in terms of abuse received and for all that is great about Vick, his stats tonight (15/25 for 203 yards passing with 2 touchdowns, 9 for 54 yards and a TD on the ground) might be a swan song. I saw a lot of limping and a lot f big hits tonight. Now I’m not here to tell you to sell right off the bat but just be weary that the guy you drafted as a potential QB1 – and Vick really is that – just might be injured too soon to pan out. Next week is San Diego at home and though I do expect a different play out from the Eagles sideline, it’s good to note that Vick is awesome when healthy but unsellable when dead. In other news from Monday Night Football for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

The Razzball Football Podcast – The One Where Nick Will Do Anything To Escape My David Wilson Wrath

September 9, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Podcast, Razzball Podcast | 36 Comments

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Due to “technical difficulties,” the DraftKings Razzball Studio was unable to support having me on the show this week.  We all know that Nick was screening my calls.  He just couldn’t take the reaming he was going to get about David Wilson.  I was frothing at the mouth for this podcast like the end of Old Yeller.  If only there was someone in the fantasy community that has been anti-Wilson since he was drafted!  The David Wilson hot tub gonna be lonely tonight!  All I have to say is none of my teams got that nice little negative 2.10 and Nick is still gonna get it next week.  I mean, the phone system being down then Nick gets to make a one-sentence joke at me to get out of it?  Really?!  REALLY?!  Luckily our resident West Coasters – Editor-In-Chief Sky and Awesome-In-Chief Murph – were able to record their segments on Waiver Wire moves and injuries.  Since I wasn’t able to get connected, as promised an RCL shout out to the top-scoring team through Sunday to Milton’s Street Team in Guru’s Razzbro League putting up 200.78 points led by Colin Kaepernick and Anquan Boldin.  Special shout out to the #2 scoring team Will and the Pirates – my mole in the Nick the Podcast Host League!  I wanted a good friend in that league to be sure Nick’s record stays lower than the Jaguars.  They put up 199.38 led by Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson; should be a tough team.  Go Pirates!  I’ll have a full article recapping everything RCL coming out tomorrow with the official high-scoring week 1 winner and a look into each league’s early front-runners.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Manningface And Romoception Star In Derpfest, The Derpening

September 9, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 14 Comments

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Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football, which is tacitly accepted as the premiere time-slot. This series of 17 (likely) posts will be much like last year. Except we’re going to do a little format change, cause that’s how I roll. First section will be the score and a quick summary of the game. Quick, just the way your mother likes it. The second section will be my DRUNKEN BULLET POINTS. All caps, why? BECAUSE THAT’S WHY. Which totally answers your question. And then next, the world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs. And then a wonderful concluding thought. Because I know you care of such things. So let’s see how this goes with an already indiscriminate amount of bourbon in my system.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Ridley Goes From Pats To Patsy

September 9, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 177 Comments

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It started off so well. On two straight plays, Stevan Ridley ripped the Bills defense for a couple of nice runs. First one up the middle. Eleven yards. Next one off right tackle. Five yards. This last carry took him to 52 yards on the day on just 8 carries. Things were looking good, the Pats were driving and that sweet end zone love was surely gonna go into Stevan’s hands. Only he came up empty. Wait, let me restate that. He came up BIG empty, fumbling the ball on the very next play for a Bills defensive touchdown. Like what we all hope will happen to Miley Cyrus after the VMAs, Ridley wasn’t to be seen nor heard from again for the rest of the game. That’s how Belichick rolls. Y’all got Hoodie Winked! Ridley had 4 fumbles last year, only losing 2 but the one thing that Bill won’t tolerate is fumbles from his RBs. Now I don’t think Ridley’s lost his starting job. Not by a long shot. But I do think he’s opened that door wider then Miley Cyrus…ok, enough about Hannah Montana analogies. I don’t see Ridley losing his job any time soon. That said, for other reasons, we may see a reduced workload moving forward. Remember when I ranked him 20th among RBs and you were all like ‘nuh-uh’ and I was like ‘uh-huh?’. This would be a good reason why. I don’t trust Bill to trust any player week to week unless he has a beautiful butt-chin. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news from week 1…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

Last Second Decisions – It’s Good To Be Back Baby!

September 8, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Last Second Decisions | 187 Comments

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Razzball Nation!  It’s so good to be back to Last Second Decisions entering it’s glorious third season.

Oh how I love Sunday mornings.  Got the fridge loaded, debating pizza toppings, and watching NFL pregame for like – 8 straight hours.  It’s like what Rush Limbaugh had to do after spouting off some nonsense about Donovan McNabb.  Notice McNabb isn’t bolded!  Oh how I feel I’m growing old…

I know what you’re thinking… Why the eff are we talking Donovan McNabb?!  Man I’m going off the rails.  Rein it in.  Is it reign?  Rain?  Time to get serious!  FACT!  If you’re new to Last Second Decisions, it’s my solution for Razzball keeping you up-to-date on our last minute start/sit thoughts and engaged up to the last minute while others just curl up and ignore the masses. Week 1 isn’t as intriguing as the all the following weeks with last minute burning questions, because, well, the only person questionable is Brad Childress.  Man talk about way too many Vikings references from 2009.  Is the Lake Minnetonka Cruise still afloat, or is Moe Williams having to shit in a plastic bag yet?  At least it’s not a closet, right Najeh Davenport!?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Nordmeier

Sawbones Scribings: Week 1 Injury Report – Did Peyton Manning Hurt You?

September 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Injury Report | 69 Comments

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Welcome back to the infirmary as good old Sawbones is back for another season of bringing all of the injury news to you.
Hopefully, you’re not suffering from a case of getting Peyton Manning rammed down your throat from last night. That was an insane game with seven touchdown passes and 46 points in most standard formats.

Just remember, it’s only one week and a lot could happen before you play the team with Peyton…again.

This week’s injury list is a little shorter than usual since there aren’t a whole pile of players who are hurt. Let’s grab the charts and see who’s already visiting the infirmary.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Who Ordered The Orange Julius?

September 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 247 Comments

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Seriously, who? It wasn’t me, though I do think they’re quite tasty. This season has started out with a bang for sure but of all the bangs I expected, this wasn’t it. Julius Thomas led the offensive charge for the Denver Broncos on the opening night of the season for the Denver Broncos, scoring 2 touchdowns on passes of 23 and 24 yards and finished his fantastic night with 5 catches for 110 yards on 7 targets. Was it a great night? You bet! Was it something you should become accustomed to? As a real Bronco would say ‘neigh’. Games are always and will always be situational. The Ravens weren’t allowing any yardage down field to start the game and were very keyed in on Decker and DT most of the night, which led to a major fantasy scoring discrepancy for Bronco player owners tonight. Don’t get me wrong, Julius is for real but in terms of targets on the night, he was tied with Decker at 7 for third on that chart and one of Decker’s targets was in the redzone. He’s not going to have nights like THIS all that often but he will have some good nights moving forward. I’ll put him down as a top 15 TE for the rest of the year for the plain and simple fact he looks to be a redzone target but keep in mind those 7 targets all happened in the first half. Just don’t expect the 110 yards a game from here on out and you’ll be in a good place. And now for what else I saw for the first night of 2013 Fantasy Football…Oh, and yeah this is a Fantasy Football blog but, uh, like we’re brothers around here and the Fantasy Baseball side is doing a final Draftkings run this season so I’d feel remiss if I didn’t let you know about it in case you’re into daily fantasy baseball. You’re not? Well that’s why this is all I have to say about it! Click here if you’re interested and if you’re not, just let your eyes keep scrolling downward…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
LT Murray IV

DirecTV and NFL Network Present: Tehol and his associates MJD and Roddy White

September 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football | 36 Comments

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Greetings! Ya’ll wanna see my face? Well, now’s your chance as for the second year in a row I’ve been handpicked by Andrew Siciliano to participate in DirecTV’s promotional fantasy football extravaganza. Receiving the opportunity to ask MJD and Roddy White questions pertaining to fantasy was like a dream come true for me, not so much unlike my other dream that came true of having Dina and Lindsay Lohan at the same time. God, that was hot. Anyway, I was only given a couple minutes and somehow managed to offend MJD by asking him if his quarterback is still seeing ghosts out there and also call Roddy, “Julio” 2-3 times. WHOOPS! Witness.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kevin Kumpf

Weekly IDP Rankings: Week One For 2013 Fantasy Football

September 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 25 Comments

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After weeks of sleeper, busts, injuries and cuts, we’re finally here. FOOTBALL! For the first week of IDP rankings, there are not many changes from my preseason rankings. Teams change from year to year, and IDP stats tend to be less opponent-based than their offensive counterparts, so we’re left primarily with overall talent.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Carey

Bet the Farm: NFL Week 1 Betting Contest

September 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 39 Comments

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Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

  • You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with.
  • You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
  • Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
  • You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
  • Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
  • New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
  • New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players will two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.
    • Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Weekly Rankings: Charles In Charge

September 5, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 187 Comments

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Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard that lead in title before. Whatever, you don’t really come for weekly rankings for the jokes do you? You do? Fine, a guy goes to the doctor and tells him ‘Doc, ya gotta help me. I keep having weird dreams. Last night I dreamt I was a Wigwam and the night prior I dreamt I was a TeePee. What’s wrong?’ and the Doc says, ‘That’s easy. You’re two tents.’ RIMSHOT! Ok, jokes over kids time for the meat and potatoes and the first week of the rest of your 2013 Fantasy Football lives and I only have one question for you that I won’t even type, you’ve just got to click the link. I have put Jamaal Charles as the top RB for week 1 because it’s against the Jaguars. Is that me betting on KC or betting against Jacksonville? I’d say the latter. Though every year is different and we can’t assume Jacksonville will finish in the bottom 5 in yards allowed to opposing running backs again, I think KC does well enough to give JC Superstar his touches and he’s got a good shot to torch JAX for week 1. Outside of that, I wouldn’t say my rankings go too crazy. I have little belief that either Ryan can turn around that Saints defense enough not to rank the two big wideouts from the Falcons in the high at wideout. My surprise pick this week might be Celek in the top 12 TEs for the week. His preseason was fairly under the radar but he was used a lot in the passing game. If that keeps up, he could be your first TE stream for the year and maybe more. But enough of all that, let’s get this party started. Here’s the weekly rankings for week 1 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?