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I know what you’re thinking… The last week?  The last LSD of the season?  But unfortunately, it is the last of the Last Second Decisions, as I am officially retiring from fantasy football after this season.  It’s been an absolutely incredible ride the past three years fielding the last minute questions, three years of Last Second Decisions, helping out with Team Previews, RCLs, a couple Daily Recaps, everything that makes Razzball be Razzball.  Good news is Sky is gonna keep Razzball Football the best in the biz heading into next year, while I focus everything on Razzball Basketball to bring you the hoops hardware.  Or the hoops scissors.  As in cutting down the net.  Don’t run with them!  Again, it couldn’t have been a happier ride, and if you have any Fantasy NBA teams, be sure to keep up with us on basketball through the rest of the NBA season!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Ahhhh the throes of December… The playoffs are here!  Or if you’re in a 6-team playoff league, then you’re still alive!  Because I doubt you’d be reading otherwise…  The playoffs are all about the hot team at the right time.  I mean, look at the Giants for Pete sake.  Or is it Pete’s sake?  Who is Pete?  Texas Pete?

Last week I told you about my playoff strategy – it’s the same as any other week.  Award winning analysis!  But seriously, it’s fantasy football and you have your line-up and you’re leaning one way or another.  It’s just as important to win week 2 as it is to win this week.  Well maybe not really, but you’re still fielding whoever you feel best and I don’t think you tinker just based on “this guy has been better most of the year and got me here…” or any of that hoopla.  But if you do have any coin flips or any of the late season injuries plaguing the league, I’ve got some LSD for ya!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Leagues are usually mixed  between your 6-team playoffs starting this week, or if you’re in RCL or in any other 4-team playoff format, this is your week.  The last week of the regular season.  Where points scored tie-breakers make you hate your former self from 2 months in the past.  If only you could send a Terminator to kill that former self before you made that roster move.  Wait, would that kill you now?  I don’t understand time travel!

My playoff/elimination game philosophy is no different than any other week.  You hear all sorts of “don’t get too cute” or “stick with your studs” or “Sarah Connor????”  Dude, the playoffs are no different than any other week.  You want to score more than the other team.  I know you’re reading that and thinking John Madden wrote today’s LSD.  I could go for some turducken though!  But it’s ludicrous the things you see sometimes – play who you think will score the most.  If that means benching T.Y. Hilton for Justin Hunter in a huge gamble (like I’m doing in one league, but I need to get a preposterous amount of points for an unlikely 4 seed), then go for it.  I honestly think Hunter outscores Hilton.   If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.  Hilton has sucked and Hunter will get garbage time – I don’t think I’m getting too cute.  Although you may think so.  I do have devilishly good looks…  Play who you want and if you’re torn LSD is here for ya!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I hope everyone in Razzball Nation had a nice Thanksgiving!  I decided to buck the trend and roasted up Tehol’s chicken for my centerpiece.  Fingerlickin’ good!

So we’ve already had our three Thanksgiving games, and you’re all set with a round of leftovers for the rest of week 13.  You’ve got gravy all over one hand and turkey grease from the wing all over the other, and you’re just not worrying about looking at you line-up.  No one is on bye right?!  But with all teams now in action, it gives you a lot more line-up decisions.  A lot more “last second decisions.”  Hey, that’s the name of the article!  Yeah, I had nothing else better to run with in my Thanksgiving hangover.  My stomache feels like an ever-expanding mushroom [gravy] cloud of stuffing.  But I’m ready to go for today, ready to help you get into the playoffs, and ready for one last turkey sandwich while my Panthers wipe out da Bucs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As a life long Panther fan, it’s usually been fantasy that’s carried me through the season, but flippity floppity and look at em go!  In the midst of their 6-game win streak I’ve seen my fantasy teams go to way of the Nick Capozzi David Wilson hot tub.  But I had decent starts in my leagues – I’m mostly around .500 on most teams (and mostly come out at night!  mostly…) – so there’s a few weeks left to cross my fingers and hope my Writer’s League team can make the playoffs after starting 8-0.  Because it’s looking really, really bad…

What’s great about the fantasy football season is that the pivotal weeks go down the next few weeks, and if I suffer a ridiculous Thanksgiving showing (something as nuts as say, Michael Floyd getting a bajillion points), I can just eat my pity away with Thanksgiving leftovers.  I’ll go into the day like Shawn Kemp as a rookie and leave it like Kemp as a Cav.  Except minus all the baby mamas!  Tryptophan isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac…  I hope you all have a great week 12 and Thanksgiving, and hope Razzball Nation crushes towards a 1st seed.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I finally got to watching Flight last night, and I love the way it made me think of fantasy.  Mostly because most of my teams make me want to go on one of those Denzel benders.  But seriously, I loved the tie in of flight or flight.  The majority of owners with bad teams flight it away and don’t check their teams, however some of us fight it out, invert the plane and try to save our dignity.  As much as I tried to skirt past with the lies and manipulation (“my team sucks because everyone got hurt!”), I finally fessed up, got a lot of courage and purported “I drafted bad, I managed bad week one, I managed bad week two, I’m managing bad now!”  And with a little bit of good fortune and waiver wire moves, I turned a 14-teamer where I drafted in order (and this is no joke) Ray Rice, Stephen Jackson, Randall Cobb, Marques Colston, Ryan Mathews, Daryl Richardson, T.Y. Hilton (that one worked!), Kenbrell Thompkins and Michael Vick into an actual playoff contending team.  None of those guys I was particularly high on – just how the draft played out – and through a series of moves and pickups I’m 4-6 and a game out of the playoffs.  Fight!  This is a pivotal week for me and I’m sure a lot of teams in Razzball Nation as we start getting into the playoff push crunch time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m looking across my lineups this week, and I’m feeling like my teams’ narratives  are like The Other Guys.  My Samuel L. and the Rock who were guns blazin’ and taking care of business have gone down to ridiculous injuries, and I’ve got to go with the wild card play of the cop who shot Derek Jeter, then the lanky cop with the crazy Gator past (no not Aaron Hernandez!) to try and fill in.  Marlon Brown last week got me my first desk pop!  Those TDs were nice.  So I’m hoping to be your Michael Keaton and get the police unit to work together, while also trying to keep my Bed Bath & Beyond profitable and my employees from chasing waterfalls.

Going back to last week’s picks, Marlon Brown actually won me a league last week!  I liked that one.  Terrelle Pryor and Josh McCown gave you solid games as deep QB plays, and Le’Veon Bell also was very solid.  My very deep Myles White call was more for James Jones behind hypothetically out, then the Aaron Rodgers injury made things worse, but a loss nonetheless.  For my benchers, Matt Ryan was awful and I indeed got the Vincent Jackson bench right!  I feel like I’ve missed on VJax 4-5 times over the past 2 years.  Fred Jackson was a wash, but Tom Brady and Danny Amendola had huge games.  My bad on that one, I knew the Steelers D was bad, but didn’t think the Pats O would get it together.  Here’s who I like in week 10 and their % started in ESPN and Yahoo, respectively (NOTE – these are not always recommendations for 1-for-1 swaps, just guys I like who are understarted and guys I hate overstarted):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ohhhhhh man.  Another week and another 6 teams on bye.  That makes 20% of players gone. So it’s kinda like Tehol’s weekly Writer’s League lineup.

Luckily my one really bad team was the only one hit with terrible byes last week, but this week… Man… Lots of tough cookies.  Guru is already talking smack because my 8-0 boys have James Starks at RB Eddie Royal in there in my flex.  Spoiler alert!  Neither are recommendations below.  Slim Pickens on the wire.  Plus ally of the JB world Justin Blackmon went on a Jessie Pinkman bender.  It’s all coming to an end.  But I must maintain the faith, visualize a redonkulous upset, and hope my path to perfection stays true.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Man, hard to believe we’re already halfway through the fantasy season.  Where has the time gone?

At the mid-point, it’s time to start really addressing a few things.  Injury status, playoff schedule, all of that good stuff is important to start noting, especially with trades.  When trading right now, its critical that you look at the schedule and realize you’re only getting 6 regular season games out of new acquisitions past this Sunday if 4 teams make week 15/16 playoffs, and only 5 if it’s a 6-team playoff.  A little crazy to think you get that little time.  While Fantasy Baseball and Fantasy Basketball (pumped for a big year!) are both marathons, Fantasy Football is a sprint.  I pick Usain Bolt!  Championship.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ugh.  My bench calls last week, in a way to sum them up, is like the Vikings this season.  AP has to go through an unimaginable tragedy, then there’s rumors of him being traded, then they bring in a scrapheap of a QB in Josh Freeman who is going to start.  On a lighter note, ESPN wants the head of whomever scheduled the Monday Night Football games this year.  Wait – that’s lighter?  Ummm, yea if Joe Pesci is the head-deliverer!

I hated going into LSD this week.  Haha, a sentence I never thought I’d say… But yeah, it was a brutal week, and despite utterly clobbering the other Razzball Writers and being one of the handful of teams undefeated in RCLs, I just can’t quite seem to hit my stride in Last Second Decisions so far this year.  But what is hitting its stride is RCL Basketball, and we’re gearing up for the best and biggest season we’ve ever had over there on hoops.  If you need your fantasy get-me-over when NFL is over and until Baseball and daily Grey-dates (what I call Grey updates, but now realize that sounds like a Cougar dating site term), hoops is you perfect go-to through the second half of Winter to early Spring.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unfortunately I am not Bryan Cranston or Jessie Pinkman (he plays himself, right?) and I am not Breaking Bad.  Well I am in the Razzball Writer’s League!  Wait, by breaking bad I mean doing good.  Kinda the antithesis of my metaphor here.  Scrap that open – I’m too lazy to hold down delete though…

Whilst I break bad in the Razzball Writer’s league, I’m looking at a 4-1 then two 3-2 and two 2-3 teams.  I know you’re yelling at your computer, “I don’t care about JB’s leagues!”  But what I’m trying to get at is that week 6 is right when I want to be sure I’m breaking mediocrity.  If I’m below .500 heading into week 6 it means I’m 2-4 and probably toast.  Or 1-5 or 0-6, and only consuming alcohol.  So in those two 2-3 record leagues, I’m staring down the barrel of some really horrible matchups.  I feel like the Jags this week.

And if you’re looking for one the absolute sweetest blue ice fantasy contests this weekend, DraftKings still has an exclusive double up contest for us at Razzball that has a ton of spots open.  Easiest way to double your money you’ll find all weekend.  Unless of course, you want to risk working for Heisenberg – and by that I mean in ABQ not any of the RCL teams!  (Sky is going to get angry for using Breaking Bad references in my open since that’s his meth, isn’t he?  But I’m the one who knocks!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I know you’re all wondering – what do these Razzball guys really do with their lives!?  Spoiler!  You already know if you read Basketball.  Oh well…

If you don’t read/play Fantasy Basketball – give it a chance!  Start up an RCL League!  If you haven’t played it much, it’s the perfect blend of Fantasy Football and Baseball.  “Wait – why is JB shamelessly pandering?!  I thought he was gonna tell us about his life fighting crime!”   Whilst I keep the rogue streets of North Cackalacky free from the seedy (pork)underbelly of crime, I have unfortunately shifted my sleep schedule.  I had to buy a blast shield for my windows.  It was like I was in the Peach Trees Mega Block when Judge Dredd came.  Fortunately Michael Caine IS NOT my butler and that scene from Batman Begins didn’t happen where Bale goes – “Bats are nocturnal!”  I woulda just slapped that foo’.  Long, disheveled and borderline lunatic rantings aside (those last couple of sentences could’ve been from a Tehol article… Never go full Tehol!) – my point is I’ll be getting to your LSDs closer to noon than right away.  It also means I’m writing this up on my Palm Pilot while staking out the mean streets of the Triangle on Saturday Night.  So if anything changes dramatically on Sunday Morning, I’ll get to it before kickoff!

Please, blog, may I have some more?