Well, well, well. Week 12. Do I need to introduce what ended up being one of the weirdest weeks in NFL history? From a fantasy perspective, we watched Patrick Mahomes chase the Chiefs’ record for single-game passing yards (held by Elvis Grbac, you Trivial Pursuit maniac), while also watching Denver Broncos practice squad wide receiver Kendall Hinton make his NFL debut as a QB. One of those situations did not end well. On top of all of that, we’re looking forward to Tuesday Wednesday Night Football. In case you forgot, when Tuesday Night Football that happened earlier in the year wreaked havoc on stats providers who hadn’t prepared for “Y2K,” and some fantasy providers went weeks without accurate scoring. And now we’ve got a WNF, which is also the name of my favorite Korean boy-band. SEW (<- not a boy band). I’m giving you the best information that’s available at the time of writing, and hopefully Week 13 will be a bit easier to navigate. Next week will be the final installment of the rest of season QB rankings, so if you’re hoping to follow me here at Razzball, I’ll ask you to navigate over to the basketball section, where I’ll be doing a weekly player highlight column. 

Patrick Mahomes — You really don’t need me shouting that Mahomes is the new G.O.A.T. If he and Andy Reid can keep the magic going in KC for another, oh. decade or so, then you’ve got another conversation about the greatest of all time. But for week 12, Mahomes faced off against the G.O.A.T., Tom Brady, and Mahomes destroyed the usually stout Buccaneers’ defense to the tune of 462 yards in the air for 3 TDs and another 28 yards on the ground. Undroppable on our rosters and in our hearts. 

Kendall Hinton — Did you get suckered by a fantasy analyst into starting Hinton at WR? Did you really think that was going to end up well? I’m here to help. Let’s hug it out and be done with it. In case you missed the news, the Broncos had their stable of quarterbacks have close contacts with Covid positive people, and all of them were ruled out of the game. So, in came practice squad receiver and one-time QB Kendall Hinton. After throwing for 13 yards and 2 INTs, Hinton’s career as an NFL QB will be done by next week. 

Taysom Hill — Squaring off against Hinton was…former TE-eligible Taysom Hill. Sigh. You know last week when I said I’d write a song about Donkey Teeth and play it for y’all if Taysom Hill finished the season better than Lamar Jackson? Well, Lamar’s out with Covid for possibly 2 weeks and Taysom threw for 78 yards and a pick. He added 2 rushing TDs, and that’s going to be fine for last place fantasy managers. But for you winners, think about whether you wanted Cam Newton when he went like 6 games without throwing a TD pass. That’s Taysom Hill right now. 

Ryan Fitzpatrick — Fitzmagic took over for the Dolphins again, and he put up 258 passing yards, 10 rushing yards, and 2 TDs…against the Jets. Fitzmagic is incredibly boom-or-bust this year, so he’s a gamble in head-to-head the rest of the year, but fine for a DFS GPP play. 

Mitch Trubisky — Little Mitch came back to captain the Bears in a really dull Sunday Night Football game that was known more for a family of an employee in the stands holding a sign dissing deep dish pizza than the football that happened on the field. Trubisky racked up 242 yards and 3 TDs (and 2 picks), but you shouldn’t be salivating at Trubisky’s garbage time stats like you would Kirk Cousins’ stats (see below). This was a game that was out of hand before halftime and the Pack took their foot off the gas when they were leading 41-10 in the fourth quarter. The Bears’ quarterback situation isn’t enviable, and I don’t recommend starting either Big Nick Power or Little Mitch unless you’re in an absolute fantasy hail mary situation. 

Kirk Cousins — Kirk has been cooking since the Vikings’ bye week, and despite the fact the Vikings are a mess to watch, garbage time Kirk Cousins is winning games for fantasy managers. This week, he ended up with over 300 passing yards and 3 TDs after eeking out a win against the Panthers, who had some questionable time management plays from rookie head coach Matt Rhule at the end of the game that allowed Cousins to play garbage man even more. Top wide receiver Adam Thielen should return to the field soon, making Cousins one of the more appealing streamers for the rest of the season. 

Daniel Jones — Jones has been putting up streamable fantasy QB numbers over the past few weeks, but in Week 12, he hurt his hamstring in the third quarter in the game against the hobbled Bengals. Jones’ surprise fantasy value is largely tied to his rushing skills, so a hamstring injury destroys any upside. I’d avoid Danny Dimes for the rest of the season. If Jones can’t go, Colt McCoy steps in as the backup…and that’s really depressing for Giants fans. The Giants have one of the easiest rest of season schedules out there, so it’s a bit of a waste if we see McCoy ho-hum his way through some starts. That said, the Giants are tied for first in the NFC East with a record of 4-7, and their competition are the Football Team and the Eagles. So, Dimes might be brought back to try and win the division, in which case, let him hail mary your fantasy team through the playoffs. 

Ryan Tannehill — My bae struggled this year against the top-rated Colts DEF, but in another paean to “stop focusing on strength of schedule so much,” the Titans put up 45 points against that DEF. Tanny racked up 221 yards and a TD in the air while sneaking for a rushing TD as well. He didn’t have to do much work because Derrick Henry went HAM for nearly 180 yards and 3 TDs on the ground. We’ve seen Henry and Tanny eat on the same day before, but with the Colts having stymied Tanny 2 weeks ago for 137 yards, the Titans staff likely wanted to highlight their ground attack. Tannehill has a dream rest of season schedule — Browns, Jags, Lions, Packers — so we could see Tanny being this year’s Matt Ryan. That’s a good thing. Tanny’s gonna win a lot of leagues for players after being ignored in drafts. That’s my internet promise to you. 

Carson Wentz — The internet HATES him! Find out why! But guess who was QB8 in Week 12 at the time of writing (before WNF)…yup, Carson Wentz. Guess who, on a per week basis, scored more fantasy points than Matthew Stafford, Derek Carr, Alex Smith, and Matt Ryan over the past month? Yup, Carson Wentz. Here’s a comparison. Over on the baseball side of Razzball, we were stunned to keep watching Cubs’ pitcher Alec Mills — whose curveball you can drive faster than — throw a no-hitter and even sit in the top 10 SP for a time. Sometimes, there are players who look completely lost, and are playing on a team that looks lost, and they are the kinds of players that bring you fantasy trophies. The Eagles aren’t even trying to run, and Wentz takes on the ho-hum Packers secondary next week and then the Saints in Week 14, who are in the bottom half of the league in passing TDs allowed. I’m not saying to sell your vinyl collection of Journey LPs to get Wentz, but if you’re desperate for a streamer, well, ugly gets the job done. 

Rankings

In case you missed out on last week, I’ve simplified the rankings going into the fantasy playoff schedule. We’ve still got the tiers, but I blew them up a bit. This week you’ll see a bigger Tier 1, showing the QBs that you’re going to ride into the playoff sunset. In Tier 2, you’re seeing a huge explosion of players — this is where you come in to make your own decisions. Quarterbacks have a stunning point parity in most fantasy leagues, and you could dart throw at anybody in the streamer tier and, generally speaking, do fine. The point of Tier 2 is to illuminate both A) that you missed out on a Tier 1 QB and feel awful about it, and B) don’t touch the Tier 3 QBs unless you’re desperate. 

This week, I calculated the FP/G (Fantasy Points per Game) using data from the last month. The Ease of Schedule is calculated by my own metric where I weight the Fantasy Pros’ Ease of Schedule Tool alongside Rudy’s premium rankings, which use Vegas Odds, his projections, and probably some sort of voodoo. As always, I do not rank within the tiers. Quarterbacks have so much point parity that you should aim to swap QBs as you need. Also, I include backups in Tiers 2 and 3 to help you decide, should there be a late decision on who starts a game. 

Aye, you made it this far, didn’t ya. EverywhereBlair is, well, located at home right now. He’s a historian and lover of prog-metal. He enjoys a good sipping rum. When he’s not churning data and making fan fiction about Grey and Donkey Teeth, you can find him dreaming of shirtless pictures of Lance Lynn on Twitter @Everywhereblair.