Ray Rice got 143 total yards and 1 touchdown on 21 touches to Willis McGahee’s 2 touches and 2 total yards.  I’ve been shouting his praises from my porch for a while now and my neighbors have left all kinds of notes on my car about McGahee and how many touchdowns he has, and unveiled threats of dismemberment, but Rice is the main man now! And McGahee can suck it. And so can you Mrs. Grabowski!

Peyton Manning: 5 consecutive 300 yard games to start the season? Too friggin’ good. Really, it’s crazy. He’s a better coach than Dungy.  Do they even need a running game or a defense? Not that I can tell. They should trade Brown for some offensive line depth and keep Addai to block.  You cannot stop this man.

Jamal Lewis: Heeeeee’s Back! Nah, just kidding.  He still sucks.  Sell, sell, sell, sell, oh, and he sucks.

Roddy White: I knew I ranked him really high for a reason.

Cedric Benson: I knew I ranked him really low for a reason. Oh, what? He’s good? Hmmm . . . yeah, that must have been a misprint.

Miles Austin: 10 catches for 250 yards and two touchdowns is fairly impressive if you’re into amazing performances. He had some key drops, but even bigger key plays.  He has more raw talent than any of the Cowboy’s wide receivers right now and with that offense it is very much worth picking him up even if Roy Williams comes back healthy.  Crayton looked like horrible version of a horrible wide receiver in a bad off-broadway production of Bye Bye Cowboy.  I hope you picked up Austin on this guy’s advice.

Jeremy Maclin: Looks like the Eagles are still riding the fantasy train with McNabb as the conductor, but they left Desean Jackson in the station while Maclin made all the stops, including touchdownville and yardage town.

Austin Collie: Pierre Garcon ran a double reverse on us fantasy faithful and handed it off to Collie. Can we now trust that Collie is going to get the bulk of the work until Anthony Gonzalez is fully healed up? No, not at all. Peyton Manning is too good to telegraph who he will give coveted fantasy numbers on any given night. Is it worth throwing Collie in there after the bye? Yes.  They’re playing the Rams!

Dre Bly: Down 25 in the third he picks off Matt Ryan and starts celebrating with over 60 yards to go and is easily stripped of the ball. Mike Singletary then dropped his pants and shuffled out of Candlestick.

Michael Turner: I thought the 49er run defense had a little more in the guts department, but instead they got what guts they had ripped out by Turner, White and Ryan. Turner is what he is.  A strong, straight forward runner. If he gets the opportunities, he will score.

Brandon Marshall: I hope you bought him while he was punting balls away in practice.  He’s a head case, but has the skills to pay the bills (and his lawyer/fines).

Jamaal Charles: I’m still backing him because he is the best running back in Kansas City. Larry Johnson is horrid which is only compounded by the Chiefs skill-deficient offensive line.  Charles can work better in space and doesn’t even need a space suit.

DeAngelo Williams: He’s been a pretty big disappointment so far. We knew he got fairly lucky to get those TD’s last year, but the lack of yardage is disturbing.  He’s just too skilled to sell low so you have to keep him and if he takes off I wouldn’t sell high either. So you are stuck, get over it!

Eddie Royal: He finally had a decent game with 10 receptions and 90 yards.  We at least can officially say Orton realizes Royal is on his team now. If someone wants to sell high (which means they really want to get rid of him) then take advantage.

Matt Ryan: The Matty and Roddy show took San Francisco by storm.  Ryan is a good, solid quarterback. He’s not going to put up huge numbers every week with Turner getting a lot of goalline looks, but he is consistent enough to not kill you every other week.

Matt Hasselbeck: He tossed 4 touchdowns against the Jacksonville Jaguars which is kind of like throwing 4 rocks into Puget Sound. The Jags are unbelievably bad, but it’s still a great sign for the Seahawks offensive players that Hasselbeck is healthy, at least for a few days.

Tim Hightower: He’s not as good a runner as Beanie Wells, but Wells isn’t catching any passes at all and the name Beanie is just not going over in the NFL. Until Beanie learns how to block or changes his name, he’s going to play second fiddle to Hightower.

Mike Sims-Walker: Jack of the River wouldn’t allow Sims-Walker to cross the Puget Sound where the Jaguars were slaughtered, breaking many endangered species laws.

Matt Schaub: He’s not an elite quarterback yet, but his numbers are fantasy elite. He choked pretty badly on a pass that would have tied the game late in the fourth quarter, but that didn’t stop him from getting 371 yards and 2 TD’s and winning your fantasy matchup for you.

  1. tenken says:

    So derrick ward and mccoy were both dropped in my league today. Who do you think has more value for the rest of the season in a non-ppr league?


  2. tenken says:

    btw, entertaining and insightful writeup as always.

  3. cleaver596 says:

    @tenken: I like McCoy going forward. Ward is in an awful position.

    Miles Austin is available in our league, which I think is funny when someone puts up those kind of numbers and the owner dropped him right before the first games started. Eddie Royal was also dropped right before kick off. I’m thinking Royal might be more of a pick up in my PPR league right?

  4. tenken says:

    @cleaver596: I would defintely go for Royal. Yesterday’s game might have been the awakening of Welker #2!!!

  5. cleaver596 says:

    @tenken: which would be sweet because I all ready have Welker #1.

  6. Ben says:

    Which side in a PPR league?

    Cedric Benson, Greg Jennings, Percy Harvin


    Matt Forte and Calvin Johnson

    I know Megatron got hurt yesterday and not sure what it is yet (they are saying knee, but Schwartz is pretty quiet about injuries). Is it worth the gamble?

  7. Doc says:

    @Ben: Too risky without knowing more about the injury.

  8. DRE says:

    Can you rank these WRs in PPR going forward?

    K. Walter, A. Collie, M. Massaquoi


  9. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Doc – nice hit on Austin last week. Somehow, wasn’t paying attention when reading that column. And today’s column was very entertaining, and a nice summary of the week. But don’t forget about Ahmad Bradshaw. Sure, it was the Raiders, but at this point he looks a lot better then Jacobs, who still appears hesitant at the line of scrimmage.

    Also, thanks for re-assuring me that Lewis still sucks, after I cut him several weeks ago.

    A commenter above mentioned Derrick Ward. Is he worth holding on to? Tampa Bay is such a terrible team, I don’t know if anyone on the squad has much fantasy value.

    Has anyone ever seen a worse pro QB then Jemarcus Russell? He makes Couch seem like Peyton.

    Speaking about terrible teams, is it just me, or does there seem to be a lot of teams that really suck this year? Whatever happened to parity?

  10. Drew says:

    I can’t believe I’m even having to ponder this, but Benson for D. Williams? I’ve got CB and I’d be getting DW. .5/reception.

  11. jamiesonmj says:

    I hate Jamal Lewis!!

  12. eldee says:

    @Paulie Allnuts: Bad teams, bad football overall and MY GOODNESS WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TACKLING IN THE NFL? I felt like throwing my remote at NFL RedZone about half a dozen times yesterday at all the atrocious tackling. Those two Austin scores especially were pathetic.

  13. eldee says:

    @tenken: McCoy will start at least one more game this year and get significant garbage time in many others. According to the OC, that situation is going to get closer and closer to a real live timeshare as the weeks go on.

    Whereas Ward is on a team whose awfulness cannot be overstated.

  14. Doc

    Doc says:

    @DRE: I like the order you have them in. When AGonz gets back that Colts #2 WR situation is going to get even murkier. I like Mass, but DA showed his true colors.

    @Paulie Allnuts: Agreed, should have had Bradshaw in the roundup. I tried to pick him up in a couple leagues, but couldn’t get deals done and now I’ve got no chance.

    the Raiders are just wrong. Al Davis needs to go away. It does seem like there are some really bad teams right now. Not sure how it will play out for the whole season.

  15. ThePoonTycoon says:

    well that stever smith (nyg)/ray rice for roddy white/ryan grant trade last week paid immediate dividends.

  16. Doc

    Doc says:

    @Drew: Yeah, that’s crazy. I would go for it, but it’s a risk.

  17. Doc

    Doc says:

    @tenken: McCoy, but I do think Ward still has some value. Just not as high as McCoy.

  18. Howie says:

    So…going forward in a non-PPR league, how would the following be ranked?:

    Austin, Royal, Maclin

    Are any worthy of replacing transgressing Sims-Walker on a roster?

    And onto RBs– is it time to reclaim Stewart as my DeAngelo handcuff and drop Coffee? Or is the Carolina O so pitiful I should seek another Coffee replacement while simultaneously looking to trade DA and his WR partner in crime, Mr. Smith?

  19. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Howie: i wouldn’t necessarily say sims-walker is transgressing. he got his ass suspended for the game sunday morning for violating team rules. no reason to expect him not to produce next week so long as he plays, and given the jags offense crapped the bed without him, i’m betting they aren’t gonna carry the suspension over.

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