I’m finally out of the closet. I was hoping to come out on my own one day, but Everywhere Blair spilt the beans in his Sunday Fantasy Football Roundup this weekend. It’s all true, I’m a former Kart Across America Champion. But the days of cruising to victory in my Princess Peace costume are long gone. Now I’m left sipping Pabst Blue Ribbon at the Black Jack Inn in Tahoe, donning a soiled Wario costume while reminiscing on the golden years. Fortunately, the Black Jack Inn’s one black and white TV was playing Monday night’s Falcons vs. Packers game so I was able to catch a glimpse of Packers tight end Robert Tonyan hitting the Falcons defense over the head with a Tonyan of bricks. This got me to thinking about the changing of the guard. Five years ago I never thought that little person in a Toad costume with all the bananas would overtake me as Kart Across America Champion. Could Tonyan be the chosen one to dethrone Travis Kelce (3 catches for 70 yards) as the top tight end? You’re right, I’ve had waaaay too many of these PBRs. But the Packers big man did explode for 6 catches for 98 yards and his 3rd, 4th and 5th touchdowns in Monday night’s win. With Aaron Rodgers (27/33 for 327 yards and 4 touchdowns–he now has 13 on the year) playing arguably the best football of his life, Allen Lazard (core injury) out for the foreseeable future and Davante Adams (hamstring) hobbled, Tonyan might end up being more Donkey Kong than Bowser–that’s a good thing, obviously. Consider the big man a top 10 fantasy tight end, at least in the short term. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Aaron Jones – 5 carries for 71 yards, 5 catches for 40 yards and his 6th touchdown. So about that touchdown regression. After his 19 touchdowns last season, Jones is on pace for 24 more this year. Remind me, why wasn’t he a top 5 fantasy pick?

Marquez Valdes-Scantling – 4 catches for 45 yards. Most Valuable Scantling was primed for a huge game with Adams and Lazard absent, but our new best friend Mr. Tonyan pushed MVS out of the limelight and into the scantlings. He’s still an upside WR3 until Lazard returns, which might not be until December.

Matt Ryan – 28/39 for 285 yards. Matty Ice executed his gameplay perfectly in this one: never lead, never blow a 21 point 4th quarter lead.

Todd Gurley – 16 carries for 57 yards, 1 catch for 6 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. When the Toddfather offers you two touchdowns you don’t refuse. Gurley’s a high end RB2 as long as he can stay healthy and the 14-16 carries he’s been seeing should help in that endeavor.

Julio Jones – 4 catches for 32 yards but left after re-injury his hamstring. Don’t expect to see Julio down by the school yard next week. Russell Gage (2 catches for 22 yards) and Hayden Hurst (4 catches for 51 yards) should benefit from a bump in targets while Jones is out.

Calvin Ridley – 0 catches on 5 targets. We had an inkling that his high end WR1 production might come to an end, but not like this! Pigskinonator was quite bearish this week too, calling Ridley a low end WR2. C’mon pig-bot, zero catches isn’t a WR2!

Olamide Zaccheaus – 8 catches for 86 yards. Dude’s worth rostering just for a the team name possibilities. Zaccheaus likely needs Julio and Ridley both banged up to be productive, but guess what, Julio and Ridley are both banged up at the moment. He’s worth an add in deep leagues.

Patrick Mahomes – 19/29 for 236 yards, 8 carries for 28 yards and 2 passing touchdowns–he now has 11 passing touchdowns on the season. Mahomie turned it on in the second half after a lackluster start. He’s on pace for 44 touchdowns which is what I expected when I drafted him all over the place last year. Donkey Teeth: always a day early and a brain cell short.

Clyde Edwards-Helaire – 16 carries for 64 yards, 3 catches for 27 yards. I was pushing to sell the Clydesdale high after his big week one in primetime if you could get a Saquon (oops), CMC (double oops), Zeke or Kamara. Now I’m flipping to buy-mode. After three consecutive scoreless games, the window might be cracked to land a slightly discounted RB1. Use our free trade analyzer–there’s no free lunches, but there is a free trade analyzer. You have to pay for the edible version.

Tyreek Hill – 4 catches for 64 yards and his 4th touchdown. Hill now has TD catches in all four games. That doesn’t reek. He might be the #1 overall WR this year.

Mecole Hardman – 4 catches for 27 yards and his 2nd touchdown. And that’s consecutive weeks with scores. This man is getting hard. All the signs were there. He’s worth owning in all formats if you need an upside receiver.

Brian Hoyer – 15/24 for 130 yards and an interception. Did you hear Cam Newton has the COVID? Probably not, it was a bit under reported. Jarret Stidham (5/13 for 60 yards and 1 touchdown) came out of the bullpen to chuck two interceptions of his own. Here’s to wishing a Cam a quick recovery.

Damien Harris – 17 carries for 100 yards. Sony Michel (quad) just hit the IR and may end up getting Wally Pipp’d. Harris supposedly looked great in training camp. He hit the century mark here in his season debut and has RB2 upside moving forward. That said, I trust the Bellichick run game about as much as I trust Odell Beckham Jr. near porta-potties. 

N’Keal Harry – 3 catches for 21 yards and his 1st touchdown. The Big Harry got sweaty on Monday night. He was watching Cops.

Julian Edelman – 3 catches for 35 yards on 6 targets. Edelman’s no more than a boom or bust WR3 as long as Superman is grounded. The backup QBs seem to have confused Damiere Byrd (5 catches for 80 yards on 10 targets) for Edelman.

  1. Hamtime says:
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    1. Are you worried about the Mike Davis expiry date? He’s been awesome but I doubt he’ll be able to coexist with cmc. What’s he worth? Is trading for kupp or metcalf a reach

    2. Number 4 waiver – who would you prioritize if at all: Justin Jackson, d’ernest, Patrick

    3. Pls rank and thoughts on relevancy ROS for: Mike Williams, renfrow, claypool, Gabriel Davis, pascal, Kirk

    4. Thoughts on jimmyG ROS. You prefer bridgewater, Carr over him?

    • Hamtime says:
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      Throwing Alhson in the FA mix for #2. Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. Yes, Davis is a rental. If you can get either of those receivers that’d be great.
      2. That’s the right order. Jackson and Johnson are a coin flip for me. Alshon 4th.
      3. I think they’re all back end WR3s , not overly excited about any ROS. The order you have them in is fine, maybe move pascal above Davis.
      4. Carr for me

  2. BallsDeep says:
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    12 team standard league. Phillip Lindsay was dropped in my league. Would you drop Davonte Freeman for him?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah Lindsay for me

  3. Afro_the says:
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    Hi Donkey

    If you were trading James Conner would you prefer Allen Robinson or Robert Woods ROS 1/2 PPR 12 Team League?

    Cheers

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Robinson for me.
      Cheers

  4. JC says:
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    Off the a 4-0 start in my 12 team, standard scoring league but have serious WR issues this week and perhaps beyond. Seeking guidance o’ wise one! My team:

    Dak
    Cook, Taylor, Montgomery
    Golladay, Julio
    Higbee
    Pats
    Myers
    Bench: Kelley, Gaskin, AJ Green, Slayton, Mattison
    IR: Lazard
    Wire:
    Shenault, Beasley, Scotty Miller, Patrick, Zaccheaus, Hardeman,
    J Jackson, D Harris, D’Ernest, Snell
    Schultz
    Gost, Carlsen

    1.i have one open slot for a free pickup. Please pick one from the wire.
    2. Golladay on a bye, Julio with a hamstring and Green, Slayton have been bad. Drop one or both of Green/Slayton for new receivers this week?
    3. I now have Kelley and Gaskin to play or trade. Would you start one of them over Montgomery?
    4. Would you trade Montgomery for Lockett or Boyd?
    5. Would you trade Montgomery for Waller – then drop Higbee for a WR off the wire?
    6. I was not impressed with Kelley last week and am concerned about his share with Justin. Should I try to trade him to the owner of Ekeler or should I see how the backfield shakes out? He has Waller btw who I covet.
    7. Kicker and catcher questions blow…but, Myers has been fine but has had few FG attempts. Grab Gost or Carlsen or hold?

    Thank you.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. Hardman
      2. Lose Slayton
      3. Who are they playing? Haven’t looked at matchups yet
      4. I’d want Lockett, would t move him for Boyd
      5. Yeah that’s fair. If you’re good at RB then sure.
      6. I like Kelley but doesn’t hurt to see what Ekeler owner will give.
      7. Carlson

      No problem

      • JC says:
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        For Q 3:

        Montgomery v Bucs
        Kelley at Saints
        Gaskin at SF

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Kelley is tempting to me but think I’d stick with Monty this week

      • JC says:
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        Trade offers came in:

        1. His Boyd and Waller for Montgomery or
        2. His Boyd, Waller and Hines for Montgomery and Higbee.

        I am 4-0 so no panic here about losing a week with Golladay and Julio out. Thinking playoffs!

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Nice! I’d go with #2 but both are good.

          • JC says:
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            Ok, one last option:

            His Lockett and Waller for my Taylor and Higbee. I like Lockett much more than Boyd but kinda banking on Taylor being a stalwart moving forward. What day you?

  5. everywhereblair

    everywhereblair says:
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    Nobody too Aaron Jones because you all made fun of me for taking him at the end of the second round. “Too high!” they all said.

    And like a Razzball Prince Ali, I have been soaring on the back of Aaron Jones’ carpet, watching the city pass underneath me as I glide my way to fantasy glory.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Aaron or Zay?

  6. Zandy says:
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    Have to figure out waiver moves for 0.5 PPR – who you dropping / adding
    JAllen
    Taylor Davis
    MThomas KAllen
    JKelley
    Hurst
    BN: Godwin, MVS, Ward, Leveon, Fournette, Dobbins

    1. Available FA: JJackson, DHarris, Duke, PLindsay, THiggins, SMille, Alshon, TreQuon, ESanders, D’Ermest, Pascal, Schultz, Tonyan, MAC, Tim Patrick
    2. ROS Hurst, Schultz, Tonyan?

    • Zandy says:
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      Also have Ward on that bench – so another potential drop

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Lose Ward for one of Lindsay, Jackson, Harris, Tonyan, D’Ernest in that order. Would take Tonyan over Hurst.

      • Zandy says:
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        Keep MVS or ditch that clown too?

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          He’s worth holding, I’d expect much better days ahead. Don’t hate swapping him for another of those RBs though if you wanna hoard

          • Zandy says:
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            You like MVS over THiggins, ESanders and Trequon?

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              I do

  7. Will Graham says:
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    1-3 and making my way back in 12 tm PPR league

    I was just offered the following –

    I get – Aaron Jones, DJ Moore
    I trade – James Robinson, Terry McLauren. Ceedee Lamb

    We start 1 qb/2 RB/2 WR/1 TE/ 2 Flex

    My team is –

    QB – D Watson, Joe Burrow
    RB – Zeke Elliott, J Robinson, Josh Kelley. N Hines, D Williams, Dobbins
    WR – Tyreke Hill, T McLaurin, C Lamb, AJ Brown, Debo Samuel
    TE – M Andrews, R Tonyan

    Do I have enough depth at WR to make this move?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes, do that deal before the other guy changes his mind

  8. Ludicrous Speed says:
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    Would you give mclauren & fuller for d montgomery & robbie a?
    12T half ppr.. currently have:
    Hurting at RB with only henry, henderson, akers
    WR’s are d adams, gallup, chark, fuller, diontae johnson

    Thx

    • Yr Never Too Old For Balloons says:
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      oh yeah it’s possibly a coin flip as to which of mclaurin/fuller/r-anderson even ends year better. you could be leveraged into overpaying due to having 1 starter and 2/3 of the LAR mess, but this isn’t it. you clearly didn’t have barkley, wondering what happened to your RB’s here. you need TEN to play this week (looking good on that so far) more than anybody i’ve seen. i’d trade another WR after this for more RB (even a for me rare 1 for 1 makes sense for you)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Sure, it makes sense and it’s fair enough. Agree with most of what Balloons said.

  9. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    don’t need TE here but if adams misses other time later in year tonyan sure looks useful (picked up tonyan in any league where i needed TE last week or if deeper maybe before that; gonna be funny how many weeks he’s startable over ertz (added tonyan where i had goedert for sure already). 12 team PPR with full return yardage points (same as scrimmage)

    QB AAron, cousins (for this week, albeit bridgewater and d.jones (nope, don’t care where he’s ranked, don’t care if it’s against DAL) ranked higher and could obtain)
    RB (2): AAron, d-mont, hines, ingram, j-will, scott (already attempting scott dropped for dern jo/j-jax/AP)
    WR (2): parker, woods, hardman, harry, p-will
    TE (1): kelce

    1. drop p-will for shenault or any of: perriman, MVS (if so i’m assuming that order works)
    2. drop harry for a 2nd of that WR list?
    3. if not another WR (who i could use obv) drop p-will for tonyan? (this is probably moot as somebody else is paying more than me here). weekly waivers and i lost with a top 5 score last week. somehow the AAron’s are doing so much work this team is basically in a 4 way tie for best team while being 2-2, and recordwise only 3 teams are 1-3 or worse (out of 12).

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      got j-jax (over scott), shenault (over p-will), somebody beat me to bridge.
      4. drop harry for MVS here? (comes off a day later than the others) ignore 1-3 since they got resolved. surprisingly i could’ve had tonyan here over j-jax, but RB seems the safer route here (albeit i could’ve played tonyan and kelce)

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        4. Said above, think I’d rather have Tonyan but yes MVS over Harry if Tonyan is gone

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Sorry I missed this one.

      1. Yes, I like that order and fine with moving on from people right now
      2. Sure
      3. Think I’d rather have Tonyan than Harry, Perriman and MVS right now

  10. hamtime says:
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    Would you try and trade Julio for maybe Taylor? Who are safe and sensible RBs to acquire for him?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes Taylor would be a nice return. Other options: CEH, Jacobs, Sanders, Carson.

      • hamtime says:
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        14m league

        Have Kirk on my bench and feel sick about it. Would you rather take a risk on someone like Keyshawn Vaughn, Mike Williams, David Moore, Ford?

        • The Harrow says:
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          of those i’d think only m-will could later be the guy over kirk, but i wouldn’t do that yet. he got the snaps back after getting healthy enough to play. still playing far behind fitz, but that might’ve been since he was just back from injured (and he’s ahead of isabella already).

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I’d rather have Williams as a dart throw, but that’s really what they are at this point…dart throws.

  11. Ludicrous Speed says:
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    Pls rank at WR for ROS, 12T half-ppr:
    McLauren
    Kupp
    Chark
    Diontae

    Thx

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Kupp, McLaurin, Diontae, Chark for me

      No problem

  12. i don't want to brag but i have irritable bowel syndrome says:
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    if i made book i’d have set the line starting from about 9ish am to maybe 10 hours but it was reported far faster than that:
    https://www.rotoworld.com/football/nfl/player/12328/mike-vrabel

    the TEN freakshow goes on; still with no football in sight. plenty of time to party though, make more windows for your indoor bathrooms, as the whole team must be showing up shortly.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Workouts were organized by the mulletman

  13. Shmayleb says:
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    I’ve got some decent receivers, but my Tight End (Dalton Schultz)’s prospects seemed to go down with Dak yesterday.

    I have 3 solid receivers in Keenan Allen, Cooper Kupp, and Jamison Crowder (along with Edelman, Gage, and Tee Higgins on my bench).

    Tonyan is available NOW as a free agent. Do you think I should drop Edelman to scoop him up now without paying any FAAB or wait until waivers this week?

  14. Shmayleb says:
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    I need a new tight end (I think). I have Schultz, but it seems the loss of Dak has drastically reduced his usage, at least short term.

    I have a lot of depth at WR: Allen, Kupp, Crowder, Edelman, Higgins, and Gage

    Tonyan is available as a free agent right now, and Edelman is the only guy I can immediately drop to pick him up. Should I do so? Or should I wait until Waivers begin and risk spending FAAB on him? (Or is that even how this works? I’m not entirely sure.)

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes, you have strong WRs so no need to hold Edelman. I’d make the swap for Tonyan now…

      No problem

      • Shmayleb says:
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        Awesome! Thanks!

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