I’m finally out of the closet. I was hoping to come out on my own one day, but Everywhere Blair spilt the beans in his Sunday Fantasy Football Roundup this weekend. It’s all true, I’m a former Kart Across America Champion. But the days of cruising to victory in my Princess Peace costume are long gone. Now I’m left sipping Pabst Blue Ribbon at the Black Jack Inn in Tahoe, donning a soiled Wario costume while reminiscing on the golden years. Fortunately, the Black Jack Inn’s one black and white TV was playing Monday night’s Falcons vs. Packers game so I was able to catch a glimpse of Packers tight end Robert Tonyan hitting the Falcons defense over the head with a Tonyan of bricks. This got me to thinking about the changing of the guard. Five years ago I never thought that little person in a Toad costume with all the bananas would overtake me as Kart Across America Champion. Could Tonyan be the chosen one to dethrone Travis Kelce (3 catches for 70 yards) as the top tight end? You’re right, I’ve had waaaay too many of these PBRs. But the Packers big man did explode for 6 catches for 98 yards and his 3rd, 4th and 5th touchdowns in Monday night’s win. With Aaron Rodgers (27/33 for 327 yards and 4 touchdowns–he now has 13 on the year) playing arguably the best football of his life, Allen Lazard (core injury) out for the foreseeable future and Davante Adams (hamstring) hobbled, Tonyan might end up being more Donkey Kong than Bowser–that’s a good thing, obviously. Consider the big man a top 10 fantasy tight end, at least in the short term. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:
Aaron Jones – 5 carries for 71 yards, 5 catches for 40 yards and his 6th touchdown. So about that touchdown regression. After his 19 touchdowns last season, Jones is on pace for 24 more this year. Remind me, why wasn’t he a top 5 fantasy pick?
Marquez Valdes-Scantling – 4 catches for 45 yards. Most Valuable Scantling was primed for a huge game with Adams and Lazard absent, but our new best friend Mr. Tonyan pushed MVS out of the limelight and into the scantlings. He’s still an upside WR3 until Lazard returns, which might not be until December.
Matt Ryan – 28/39 for 285 yards. Matty Ice executed his gameplay perfectly in this one: never lead, never blow a 21 point 4th quarter lead.
Todd Gurley – 16 carries for 57 yards, 1 catch for 6 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. When the Toddfather offers you two touchdowns you don’t refuse. Gurley’s a high end RB2 as long as he can stay healthy and the 14-16 carries he’s been seeing should help in that endeavor.
Julio Jones – 4 catches for 32 yards but left after re-injury his hamstring. Don’t expect to see Julio down by the school yard next week. Russell Gage (2 catches for 22 yards) and Hayden Hurst (4 catches for 51 yards) should benefit from a bump in targets while Jones is out.
Calvin Ridley – 0 catches on 5 targets. We had an inkling that his high end WR1 production might come to an end, but not like this! Pigskinonator was quite bearish this week too, calling Ridley a low end WR2. C’mon pig-bot, zero catches isn’t a WR2!
Olamide Zaccheaus – 8 catches for 86 yards. Dude’s worth rostering just for a the team name possibilities. Zaccheaus likely needs Julio and Ridley both banged up to be productive, but guess what, Julio and Ridley are both banged up at the moment. He’s worth an add in deep leagues.
Patrick Mahomes – 19/29 for 236 yards, 8 carries for 28 yards and 2 passing touchdowns–he now has 11 passing touchdowns on the season. Mahomie turned it on in the second half after a lackluster start. He’s on pace for 44 touchdowns which is what I expected when I drafted him all over the place last year. Donkey Teeth: always a day early and a brain cell short.
Clyde Edwards-Helaire – 16 carries for 64 yards, 3 catches for 27 yards. I was pushing to sell the Clydesdale high after his big week one in primetime if you could get a Saquon (oops), CMC (double oops), Zeke or Kamara. Now I’m flipping to buy-mode. After three consecutive scoreless games, the window might be cracked to land a slightly discounted RB1. Use our free trade analyzer–there’s no free lunches, but there is a free trade analyzer. You have to pay for the edible version.
Tyreek Hill – 4 catches for 64 yards and his 4th touchdown. Hill now has TD catches in all four games. That doesn’t reek. He might be the #1 overall WR this year.
Mecole Hardman – 4 catches for 27 yards and his 2nd touchdown. And that’s consecutive weeks with scores. This man is getting hard. All the signs were there. He’s worth owning in all formats if you need an upside receiver.
Brian Hoyer – 15/24 for 130 yards and an interception. Did you hear Cam Newton has the COVID? Probably not, it was a bit under reported. Jarret Stidham (5/13 for 60 yards and 1 touchdown) came out of the bullpen to chuck two interceptions of his own. Here’s to wishing a Cam a quick recovery.
Damien Harris – 17 carries for 100 yards. Sony Michel (quad) just hit the IR and may end up getting Wally Pipp’d. Harris supposedly looked great in training camp. He hit the century mark here in his season debut and has RB2 upside moving forward. That said, I trust the Bellichick run game about as much as I trust Odell Beckham Jr. near porta-potties.Â
N’Keal Harry – 3 catches for 21 yards and his 1st touchdown. The Big Harry got sweaty on Monday night. He was watching Cops.
Julian Edelman – 3 catches for 35 yards on 6 targets. Edelman’s no more than a boom or bust WR3 as long as Superman is grounded. The backup QBs seem to have confused Damiere Byrd (5 catches for 80 yards on 10 targets) for Edelman.
