Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now that I’ve given you my Top 25, Top 50 and Top 75 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football, I’ll elaborate a little more on my general dynasty football philosophy. If you gathered some of the stale bread crumbs I left in the first three segments, you may have understood my philosophy to be one part L. Ron Hubbard, one part Antonio Brown and two parts Gordon Gekko. As the great Gekko once said, “I hate hockey and I don’t like kids.” Hmmm I think that’s the wrong quote from the Book of Gordon Quotes I got for Kwanzaa. That one may have been Gordon Bombay.

But getting back to the Gekko philosophy, I tend to look at my dynasty teams like investment portfolios. I tie my capital up in stable assets with upside—both at the draft and in season. This means I tend to fade the running back position. By nature, running backs aren’t stable due to the physical toll their work takes on the body and their greater dependence on offensive schemes, as well as the supporting cast around them.

Of course you won’t be winning your fantasy championship without at least a couple good RBs, so I focus the back end of my portfolio on a handful of growth or even penny stock backs with a chance to skyrocket into Phillip Lindsay or Raheem Mostert types. All of that said, there isn’t one ‘right way’ to invest. So acquire the players you believe in, build around them, and stay flexible in your views. Anyway, here’s my top 100 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m going to keep it short tonight as I must get to focusing on the week 16 rankings. Alfred had engagements this week that’s keeping him from writing this week, but rest assured, he will be back. I made an appearance with B-Don on the Razzball Fantasy Football podcast this week and we talked about all of the pick ups for the week and much, much more. Here is the list of players that I think are worthy of rostering and possibly starting this week. Remember, heading into your championship week, you don’t need players on your bench that will have zero starter consideration in re-draft leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

B_Don triumphantly returns from his European adventures, now infinitely more cultured. And infinitely more food poisoned. B_Don returns just in time for Donkey Teeth to leave the country himself. But not before the guys discuss their top 5 (or 6) waiver pickups for week 15, including DeAndre Washington, Adrian Peterson, Raheem Mostert, A.J. Brown, Anthony Miller, Noah Fant, Patrick Laird and Russell Gage.

Then in the deep pickups segment B_Don and Donk discuss Trequan Smith, C.J. Prosise, Tony Pollard, Justin Watson, Wendell Smallwood and Josh Adams. Plus DT’s obligatory mention of Ryquell Armstead as Leonard Fournette matches his way toward a full 16 game season, against all odds. Catch all of this and the A**hole of the Week on this weeks Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast! 
Please, blog, may I have some more?

While B_Don continues his trek across Europe, Donkey Teeth is joined by another special RazzBowl guest: Heath Cummings of CBS Sports. Heath elaborates on his self proclaimed “terrible draft strategy”, his improbable RazzBowl title run and his dream of taking the fabled RazzBowl Trophy out to a nice candlelight dinner at his favorite pub. The guys also discuss the future of several players from Heath’s team including Lamar Jackson, Rashaad Penny, Zach Ertz, Dallas Goedert and Tevin Coleman.

Then in the pickups segment, Cummings tears apart Donkey’s top 5 pickups for week 14. These recommendations include Darwin Thompson, Raheem Mostert, Patrick Laird, Jordan Wilkins and Anthony Miller. Heath and DT also chat about a few deep league options like Myles Gaskin, Zay Jones, Russell Gage, Jakobi Meyers and Pharoh Cooper before Donkey heads off to have his teeth taken care of at the dentist.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Your body hurts and your lungs sting with every breath of freezing air. I know that many days you regret this adventure. Like that one time you benched DJ Chark, or when you blew the top waiver priority on Wayne Gallman. It can get bleak on the mountain, I won’t lie about that.

There is excitement in the challenge, however. Even if you’re winless and feel like you’ve lost your way, don’t give up. I am old enough to have seen 0-5 teams advance to a championship. Each week a new puzzle presents itself, and we just need to solve one at a time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The sun rises over the majestic mountain range, illuminating the frost into countless diamonds. The air is crisp and clean and there is motion all around your tent. The energy is palpable and you take a deep breath, stepping into the cold morning. The warm scent of freshly brewed coffee drifts into your nostrils as I jam a loaded backpack in your gut and tell you you’re the last one up. “Breakfast is over, make sure you wear double socks” I say, strapping a ladder to a sleeping bag.

Don’t worry, this is how week 1 feels for most of us. All the anticipation, planning, and training doesn’t mean a thing once you head out on the trail. Week 1 was full of rookie WRs making a statement despite limited preseason buzz. Conversely, exciting rookie running backs flopped and split time, leaving managers rattled as we look forward to week 2. There was expected carnage, although congrats to the half of you that walked away 1-0.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well that was… Something? Do we live in some sort of simulation where everything that we get excited for ends up being a disappointment? Yesterday was truly an exhausting day to be a fantasy football enthusiast and football fan in general. I’m used to bad Thursday night games to open up the season. It’s pretty much an expectation at this point. But when an unenthusiastic game is preceded by some tidbits of bad news it can put a dark cloud over things. At least the first full Sunday is only two days away!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Are you playing in three wide receiver leagues? If you aren’t, what’s wrong with you? Do you not like fantasy points? You must be a fan of the Big Ten style fantasy leagues and grinding out those low scoring victories. I can respect it. I like 3WR formats and if you do too, today is your day for WR rankings! Just like my age, let’s go to the 30’s and beyond.

Please, blog, may I have some more?