One of the best things about the Super Bowl is the prop bets. Not only are they a fun assortment of both football and miscellaneous bets, but friends and family that wouldn’t know a parlay from a quinella enthusiastically place bets. I compiled my favorites for an extra thick Propageddon. Here are some bets I find particularly interesting:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings! I’d like to start by informing you that my doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin, which is a mild anti-depressant, but can also help with A.D.D. (which I have in the worst way). I don’t believe in taking adderall, as it’s just another form of meth, and your boy is stimulant free (other than herbal viagra). I’ve only been taking it for two weeks thus far, but it’s totally changed my life and in multiple ways at that. Not only am I more focused than ever, as I wrote this post in record time (yes, I wrote this part last), but I’ve reached the type of mental zone that I’ve only once witnessed before, and that was Bradley Cooper in Limitless. Not only do these magic blue pills make me feel better about leaving the world of modeling to become a fantasy sports writer, but I’m not busting nuts like the Steamboat Geyser. I kid you not, this shizz is incredible! I can’t lie to ya, I’m feelin myself like Mac Dre right now, and I pray to the Elders I never lose this feeling, for I fully believe, at this moment, that I can take on the entire world and become the most famous fantasy sports writer that ever lived… Until I crash anyway, then I’ll be back in the gutter, begging sloppy drunk chicks to take me home for a hot bath and a TV dinner. I’ll let you be the judge, but, uhhhh, watch the video after the jump to see how I feel right now.
I am Tehol Beddict and this Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em! TAKE HEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My rankings have been updated and can be found here.
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While I could just copy and paste “Bill Belichick is no longer his coach” say, about 323 times and feel pretty confident about relaying substantial and relevent thoughts on why Shane Vereen is going into the season underrated, I wanted to be better than that. OR I just didn’t want the Razzball front page filled with a plethora of Bill Belichick. Mmm, plethora. That being said, while it’s easy to chaulk up Vereen’s ineffectiveness solely on the fact that the most jolly (and quite the partier) coach in the NFL trolls the running back position like no other, there are also some other factors playing into why Vereen might be a sneaky good pick up. Some might say he’s a sleeper, but I’m pretty sure everyone knows who he is, nor is he sleepy (I think? One can never be sure of another person’s sleep patterns). But underrated? Most definitely…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Overall: 71-58-1, Locks: 7-1
Greetings! Beddict here, weak and heavily medicated. For you see, I banged my chin on a flawless white marble kitchen countertop in a home owned by Celine Dion while shooting a soft core porn for Cinemax that should be out sometime in 2016. That’s right ya’ll, Beddict’s got 15 stitches in his chinny-chin-chin, and you’ll witness it on Razzball Radio and The Fantasy Sports Network next Tuesday. I was thinking about taking advantage of the situation and getting a chin implant. such as this one here, but after speaking with the Elders, it was decided that now is not the time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Overall: 22-23-1, Week 4: 6-6-0.
Sorry to disappoint the millions of #Disgrace/Delight fans this week, but Beddict was moving from the “Beddict Penthouse” to “Beddict Manor”. With no internet, countless supplies to unpack, and a chicken coop for my baby, Beatrice, there was simply no time to put forth the proper effort into my Wednesday post. I was told the move would take three hours total… it took nine! Not even the Elder Gods could have foretold the savage beating my wallet endured. Kudos to those of you who are professional movers or have at some point worked for a moving company, for those men are soldiers of the highest order. We can chat about this another time, but feel free to come watch football with me in my new pad and watch some football anytime. Sky’s in my basement right now. “SKY!!!! It puts the lotion on the skin.”
A couple side notes here… Last week’s lock of the week, the Baltimore Ravens (-3), destroyed the Carolina Panthers as Steve Smith Sr. gave his old team the kind of pounding I haven’t witnessed since the Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape. If we stop there, it would seem like I had a great week… A young man named Matt correctly pointed out that I didn’t seem to realize Oakland was playing in London this past week and not in their home stadium. If only my editor could not only fix my countless grammatical errors, but also do all of my research for me, maybe then, I’d be better at this. [Jay’s Note: Maybe!] Seriously though, that was amateurish of me and it will not happen again. That is, if Jay(Wrong) alerts me when and which teams are playing in London. [Jay’s Note: Sure thing! Here ya go…]
I didn’t get in my Thursday pick last week, and I changed my pick Philly/SF pick to San Francisco at the last minute, giving me a .500 record on the week. Normally, I’d be disheartened by such a performance, but that was before speaking with numerous sharps who seemed to have similar issues. Remember guys, if betting was easy, everybody would do it.
I hit Twitter multiple times with my Packers pick this week, as I was feeling blowout all the way. I also nailed my Matt Asiata prediction (of him scoring no more than 5 points). Unfortunately for me, I was forced to start Asiata everywhere, but you know what makes the pain from being bent over in fantasy go away, don’t you? Yeah, having some floozy from Tinder ride you like a pony with the bidet at full blast hitting that special spot. Winning money is another possible cure, and that’s the focus here, so let’s get to it. This is Betting With Beddict!!!!
The quest for the perfect week continues…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings! Tis I, Beddict, the Godfather of sexual mischief and fantasy football knowledge alike, here to continue this storied tradition that we here at Razzball refer to as, Disgrace/Delight. We’re on a word count this week so we better get right to it. I will continue to cover film and television but we had too much football and not enough space this week and for that, I apologize. Okay, let’s get on with it then! Take Heed!Please, blog, may I have some more?
G’day Razzballers. Welcome to our little site where we talk fake football and whatever else we feel inclined to talk about on any given (Sun)day. If this were Thanksgiving and we were going around the dinner table saying what we are thankful for I’d have to say, along with a short list of people and […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
They both are unpredictable, cheat, and torture their adversaries any chance they get. One adversary he/she has tortured recently is Rex Ryan, but for some reason he wants another shot at Belichick Lestrange one on one. Belichick says if it’s her/him vs. Rex Ryan: “I’ve probably got a little quickness on him, he’s got strength […]Please, blog, may I have some more?