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Boys and Girls, I’m finishing business school and I thought it was going to be incredibly hard to go out and find job opportunities in the real world. I enjoy waking up at 10:30 AM every day to eat a bowl of cereal and then trudge over to class, then head home watch Netflix or play video games, get a workout in, then maybe some lady time. I’m enjoying the life right now, but it is coming to an end. My generation of young adults hears that the job market is small and that we’re all going to be hobos or living with our families for a good portion of our life until we all have Phd’s, win the lottery, or  sue someone or a company because they screwed up big time. To my surprise, I have had four firms this past week ask me to come in for interviews. I even woke up today with a voicemail and E-mail asking me to come in tomorrow to talk business. I do not want to leave my current 10:30 AM wake ups, but my prospects of not being homeless and doing lots of drugs are really looking up. Thanksgiving day Football will have already been finished when my post goes live, so I apologize for that, but I can’t help but enjoy all these companies calling me and asking to learn about what I can provide them…

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The thing that makes me want a wide receiver more than any other wide receiver is his opportunity to blossom.  What we saw last year from Allen Robinson in the 10 weeks prior to his injury was that he was starting to “get it”.  Granted, “it” has so many different ways to be translated, but for this post, let’s just say it was it from a standpoint of becoming a fantasy relevant player.  Players developing in systems, offensively, are always where I tend to lean when looking for my WR3.  Look no further than the current Jags offense.  It is in year two of the phase, and it hinges on Blake Bortles being able to take that next step as a signal caller.  All signs from the preseason tend to be pointing in that direction. I mean, he doesn’t have to explode into the next elite fantasy quarterback, he just needs to manage the game better and with the developing weapons that are now surrounding him, and I think it’s an inevitability that a star is going to blossom from that.  That person is going to be Allen Robinson.

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Odell Beckham Jr. is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

There are so many things to talk about after Week 15 is now in the books. Even the goal posts are changing! We saw the beginning of the “Johnny Football Shutout Sadness Suck Balls Gabbert F*ck Up Noun 27.3 Quarterback Rating”, the ending of the Jim Harbaugh era in San Francisco, and of course there’s the NFC South, where the Panthers (5-8-1), Saints (5-8), and Falcons (5-9) are now all within a game of each other for the division lead AND in line for a top-10 draft pick. If that isn’t a dumpster fire, then my friend, you’ve never seen a dumpster fire. The Colts, Broncos, and Patriots clinched playoff appearances, which I believe is the 987th consecutive year these three teams have done it. And then there’s, of course, the growing legend of Odell Beckham Jr.. And don’t be surprised that every Giants game from here on out will follow the formula of: Interception, derp, injury, derp, Odell Beckham does something awesome, interception, Odell Beckham does something even more awesome, derp. Oh, almost forgot. And derp. Honestly though, the Giants offense right now is basically “throw it to Beckham”, and it has to be stated, it’s the best they’ve looked in years. Imagine how great it would be if Tom Coughlin stopped hiding Eli Manning’s Capri Sun…

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When previewing matchups on DraftKings, it gets a little too easy to be lazy. Just roster the guys with the green OPRK, avoid the guys with it in red and maybe kinda/sorta glance at the neutral white guys. BTW, neutral white guys should be the name of the political party in Switzerland. You’re free to use it, Swiss Mrs. out there…but more to the point, I have a little secret for you. Come closer so I can whisper it into your ear. No, closer…EVERYONE CAN BE RUN ON! Sorry, felt the yelling would smack you from complacent analysis. Not like it hurt your ears, you’ve been listening to Rise Against at top volume with your ear buds jammed into your head. PS, don’t do that. Both listen to them and jack the volume up. Both are bad for you. Now where were we…oh yeah, anyone can be run on. When looking at Seattle’s rush defense, you have to allow for caveats. Yes, their numbers suggest running on them isn’t a good thing. They’ve only allowed 3.5 yards per carry on the year, a stat which is 4th best on the year. They’ve also only allowed 1036 rushing yards, good for 5th best. But I have two stat lines for you to debunk this mindset: 29/115/1 and 20/159/2. The first stat line is DeMarco Murray from week 6 in Seattle and the second one is Jamaal Charles from week 11 in KC. The rest of the lead backs Seattle has faced this year? A litany of circumstantial meh. Alfred Morris without RG3 under center in week 5? Trash. Darren McFadden at home in week 9? C’mon, man. Andre Williams in week 10? Dumpster fire. In fact, Seattle gave up 18/85/1 to Tre Mason and 16/79 to Jonathan Stewart this year too but if you asked anyone if Seattle is a stout run defense and they’ll say ‘yes’m’. Well, maybe not ‘yes’m’ unless you talk with a lot of people from the south. But that doesn’t tell you much about why you should start LeSean McCoy, of course so lets get Shady for a minute. First, let’s talk price tag: $6,400. If he’s your RB1 this week, that’s prettay, prettay nice. Secondly, he averages 22 touches a game on the season. That’s nice floor. Thirdly that’s also a fourthly and possibly a fifthly, he’s scored a touchdown and/or had over 100 yards from scrimmage in 6 of his last 7 games and three of his four touchdowns this season have come in the last four games. Don’t be throwing no shade at Shady this week, friends. But enough about that, let’s talk about another that. Here’s my red hot takes on the week 14 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

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Some of you may remember the show from the 90’s about Camp Anawanna.  The few of you that don’t know it, or are too young to know it, please note that we are no longer friends of the pen pal variety.  It was a dumb show, but it fits here, so grab a seat, some Bugles, and give me six minutes of unadulterated non-porn time.  So this week’s under-looked startable option is Cecil Shorts III.  The third thing throws me off every time I say it. I associate him to Thurston Howell when I would rather be thinking of Ginger.  Okay, I need a moment to find my pants, talk amongst yourselves. The topic? The Department of the Interior. (It focuses on the outdoors.) Discuss. Cecil and the rest of the Jaguars face off against the Colts this week in Indy.  Stick around for the reasoning behind my madness and maybe a few new jokes that you may be able to share around the water cooler.

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If you didn’t know the name Jonas Gray before 8pm Eastern Sunday night, nobody would blame you. If you forget his name when you’re putting in your waiver claims for the week, you’ll never forget it. Gray went off in huge fashion this past week with 199 yards and four rushing touchdowns against the Colts. It took him from fantasy afterthought to fantasy pick-up of the week status, and he certainly is that for us. Gray has managed to supplant Shane Vereen as the top man in the New England backfield and should be getting the majority of the work going forward.

You’ll have to put up with a tough week this week, as Gray and the Patriots take on a stiff Detroit defense. The defense held Arizona running back Andre Ellington to less than 50 rushing yards last week. After Week 12, Gray’s schedule turns much easier with games at Green Bay, at San Diego, Miami, at the Jets, and Buffalo to close out the season. (Keep in mind we put the full 17-game schedule out there when we talk about remaining games, since some leagues go the full distance.) Excluding the Dolphins, you’re looking at four of the top-12 rush defenses in the NFL for Gray. The match-ups are going to be tough, so you could pick him up now, let him go off against Green Bay, and try for a late sell-high deal depending on your league’s trade deadline. (Yes, most deadlines will pass in the near future but it’s still worth mentioning.) These games should be winnable for New England so Gray should get carries to keep the clock and the chains moving. Eventually, he will find the end zone, but don’t expect anything close to his output against Indianapolis.

This is also the final week of byes with Carolina and Pittsburgh sitting out this week. This is key for one reason. It’s time to get rid of the guys on your team who are non-producers and/or have poor match-ups the rest of the way. This is the time of year when you want your decisions on who to start to be incredibly tough since you have to pick from talent, talent or talent.

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This week’s waiver wire column is going to explore the returning player. The focus is on the players who are coming back off lengthy layoffs after injuries. Of course, we’ll still try to catch lightning in a bottle too and help your team that way. That said, let’s dive in.

First, let’s talk about Adrian Peterson. He’s not coming back from an injury, but from a suspension… or so we hope. There is going to be some legal wrangling this week over whether or not Peterson can come back to play this season or not, so it will need time to play out. Hopefully a decision gets made this week to give us some clarity. Even if he’s not 100% ready to go, you need to stash him on your roster. If nothing else, ensure that other owners don’t get their hands on him. With his talents and a plush schedule, Peterson could be the ultimate shot-in-the-arm add to any fantasy team. If he doesn’t pan out, you can toss him back and try again. If it does, you have fantasy gold. The thing to keep in mind is there is some internal strife within the Vikings front office about whether or not to bring him back. Minnesota is 4-5 and three games behind 7-2 Detroit for the top spot in the NFC North. Sure, there are other factors at play, but it is worth giving consideration to adding AP. I’ve been picking him up much as in the same way it’s time to get another guy in the same boat.

That other guy is Cleveland wide receiver Josh Gordon. It’s worth checking the wire to see if the dynamic wide receiver is there. He would make awesome trade bait if you can pick him up. Things set up nicely for Gordon with his schedule (HOU, ATL, BUF, IND, CIN, CAR, BAL) and that matchup against Carolina on championship week is inviting. We saw Mark Sanchez abuse the Carolina defense last night and Gordon could go nuts.

Realistically, it would be difficult to see either of them being available on the waiver wire but we mention them anyways. Take a second and scan anyways. Let’s go to reality now.

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I’m going in a different direction this week, and staying out of the running back game. I’m going to battle four wide receivers at once, and give you a little mini-ranking at the end. We got a preseason darling that has been testing the patience of his owners, a rookie who has opportunity and upside, a third-year break out playing as a WR3 regularly, and lastly, a fourth year player who has been a little lost in a sea of rookies. What’s the Logic here? It’s just me playing shenanigans. I’m kidding, have a sense of humor. But really let’s get serious.

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Normally, I start with a little opening about the week and dive into the picks for the waiver wire. This week, I’m going to go a little different to open…

It’s one thing to get waiver advice from this site. It’s another thing to get it from someone who is in first place. It’s even nicer when they’re the same person. That is exactly the case right now in the Razzball Writers League, where I am the top banana by myself at 6-1. Hooray for me at the halfway point. Enough chest-thumping, let’s get into the meat of the column.

This week is going to be a very key one on the waiver wire. This is Week 8 and each of the next two weeks feature six teams on bye. If you make the right move this week, you can potentially sit back and reap the benefits while your opponents scramble each week trying to make moves. First, the byes. This week, it’s San Francisco and the New York Giants. Week 9 features Atlanta, Buffalo, Chicago, Detroit, Green Bay and Tennessee sitting out. Week 10 has Houston, Indianapolis, Minnesota, New England, San Diego and Washington at home on the couch. Week 11 is a little easier with Baltimore, Dallas, the Jets and Jacksonville on a bye. And Carolina and Pittsburgh close it out on Week 12.

We’re going to have to keep this in mind as we evaluate our selections.

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The 2014 NFL season looks more and more like a demolition derby of humanity with each passing week. In Week 6, Victor Cruz of the New York Giants was the biggest name to see his season end. He ruptured the patella tendon in his knee on a fourth-down play and that was it. The night didn’t get any easier for the New York Giants as they lost Jerrel Jernigan for the season, which put them down two wide receivers. Losing 27-0 to the Eagles on Sunday night seemed to be secondary. Things worsened for the Giants in one day but is your fantasy team dealing with injuries? Of course it is. If you haven’t had a player get hurt you’re either extremely lucky or it’s a total fluke. Either way, we’ll help you get through this difficult time of the season.

Let’s look back and see the big fantasy-relevant names who got hurt on Week 6…

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Without targets, there would be no receptions. Being targeted is the first, and most crucial factor, to the success of a pass catcher. If the ball isn’t thrown in your direction, you cannot succeed. I decided to take a look at how targets were being spread around among each team and then how each player was converting those targets. Below are the results and I’ve included a link to the Excel spreadsheet (Download) containing the full report. This exercise will only be “targeting” wide receivers and tight ends.

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Four score and 7 quarters ago…

Considered by many to be the best time traveling movie ever made, Back to the Future is a must see film of the 80’s. Set in Hill Valley, California, Marty McFly accidentally travels back in time (to 1955) using a flux capacitor-powered DeLorean in an attempt to escape a band of angry Libyans. While there… well you know the rest. And if you don’t, shame on you!

Another time traveling masterpiece that gets much less attention, and in many ways is much more excellent, follows the wild adventures of Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted “Theodore” Logan as they travel back in time with the help of Rufus and his magical phone booth to solicit the help of historic personalities such as Napoleon Bonaparte, Abraham Lincoln, Ludwig van Beethoven and So-crates, to help them pass their history class assignment. That’s right, you guessed it. I’m talking about Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. This movie was so excellent, it even had a much less excellent sequel entitled Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Believe it or not, I saw this flick in the movie theaters. Shame on me? I was only 14 years old. But even more believe it or not, a third installment to this pseudo legendary saga is currently in the works. So buckle up folks and get ready for another excellent journey!

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