B_Don and Donkey Teeth are after week 3. They start with some injuries and reactions, and how some of those situations may change.

Then, it’s on to some Buy, Sell, Hold as we approach the quarter mark of the season and see where we’re valuing some of the more controversial players. We talk about a few top players from each position including D.J. Moore, Odell Beckham Jr., Joe Mixon, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, James Robinson, Cam Newton, Drew Brees, Jonnu Smith, Mark Andrews, and many more. 

We wrap up with some quick waiver wire talk with a less than scintillating set of pickups for the week. Finally, we bring back everyone’s favorite part of the show, A**hole of the Week! 

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There’s a very important place that I want to start today’s fantasy football conversation. Imagine getting fined $100K at work, just like Pete Carroll, Vic Fangio, Jon Gruden, Sean Payton and Kyle Shanahan did this past week. Not by Feds. Not by the IRS. Not by your local county judge. Think about that — just for one second. Fined 100-grand, at work. For me, this would bring up a concerning follow-up meeting: “So, uhh… are you asking me to quit? No? Ok… so the next three years are just pro-bono? Got it. Okay. I’ll be over here pummeling my head into this wall. Forever.” Although I don’t have a vendetta against any of those five head coaches, it’s an absolutely insane concept to even consider. In Green Bay, head coach Matt LaFleur actually has an assistant whose job it is to make sure he’s wearing a mask at all times. That’s literally his job! I don’t know if this is better or worse than Sean McVay’s “Get Back” assistant. I guess better, because this at least helps promote safety. Meanwhile, we’ve got reigning Super Bowl Champion Andy Reid looking one step away from being the next Power Ranger with the face shield he’s donning out there. Can you imagine being the intern that was tasked with finding a face covering that would please Andy Reid? Bet you it took weeks. I’d rather work as Philip Rivers’ governess. It’s just like I always say, if Julie Andrews can do it, so can I!

Shame on me for using the NFL’s current sideline mask fiasco for a lede two weeks in a row, but everything starts to get hazy on these late Monday nights. There’s a lot of movement in the rankings this week and even more question marks with certain running backs going down with injuries for undetermined periods of time, but it’s a job that has to be done nonetheless. Am I a hero in plain man’s cloth? No, I am but a man. Before we get into the rankings, let’s take our weekly trip around the league.

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Did anyone else have a case of the pandemic Mondays this week? Mine was brutal. I slept until around noon before feasting on a bowl of Lucky Charms with chocolate chips and whipped cream—don’t worry I had a nice big glass of cucumber, kale and celery juice too. Then, after the insulin injection, it was off to the couch for my early afternoon nap where I dreamt of a shirtless photo shoot with Russell Wilson, Tyler Lockett and D.K. Metcalf. I woke up just in time to inhale my Monday evening nachos and watch an episode of Game of Thrones before the Chiefs/Ravens game. Unfortunately for Baltimore, the Ravens defense never woke up from their own Monday afternoon nap; they looked like White Walkers out on the field as Patrick Mahomes went all Arya Stark on them with a line of 31/42 for 385 yards, 4 carries for 26 yards, 4 passing touchdowns and his 1st rushing touchdown—he now has 9 passing touchdowns on the year. Those who were thinking about dropping Mahomie below #2 in their rest of season QB rankings might want to reconsider. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Game of Thrones Spoiler Alert for this round up, fair warning!

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What’s the difference between Jon Gruden in September and an overripe California-grown tomato? The tomato doesn’t have to put up with Mark Davis for the next seven years, who, coincidentally (or not?), also looks like an overripe tomato — except Davis does for all 12 months of the year. For Gruden, it’s just about a two-month sweet spot, and who can blame him for wanting to get his bronze on to complete that irresistible visor look? From the TV, he looks like he’s yap-yap-yapping from the first whistle to the last, the same way Pete Carroll is chomping at the bit from the moment he comes out of the tunnel.

Both Carroll and Gruden have attractive fantasy running backs at their disposal as they prepare week after week in the form of Chris Carson and Josh Jacobs. They also appear to be staring at pretty hefty fines from the league office after looking somewhat lax with their mask usage during gameplay on Sunday and Monday. No matter how you spin it, the NFL was hit with a plethora of unfortunate story lines in Week 2, with stars on both sides of the ball doing down with seemingly every ailment underneath the moon. That makes my job entering Week 3 of the season as difficult as it’s going to get (*knock on wood, although Gruden’s mid-section as of late Monday night would suffice*), so let’s fast-forward through the pleasantries and get to the ever-controversial top 60 ROS running back rankings. First, let’s take a quick trip around the league via some player news and updates.

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As the final night of Week 1 of the 2020 NFL season winds to a close, I find myself updating Razzball’s top 60 running back rankings with some unusual sights dancing in front of my eyes. Stephen Gostkowski has missed three kicks and a field goal, Noah Fant looked like the best player on the field in the first half, Corey Davis is shredding the Broncos defense and my dog is licking his butt in the corner of the room as I scream about all of these things. Also on Monday were some unusual running back performances, highlighted by Saquon Barkley’s six-yard game on the ground and a breakout day for Benny Snell of Pittsburgh. Oddly enough, it looked for a little while like we really might see a 50-50 workload split in Denver before Melvin Gordon took over in the fourth quarter. If you’re already losing your mind over realities such as these, it might be a long 16 weeks to follow for you. On the plus side, we’re here to help you navigate the rest of the way with your running backs, as the weekly top 60 picks back up today with some drastic changes including some movement inside the top 10. First, let’s take a quick trip around the league.

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I went to the doctor yesterday to request a procedure. No, not an enlargement, those are apparently on hold until post-pandemic. I was there to see if my doc would inject the Thursday night Texans vs. Chiefs game directly into my veins; I wasn’t sure if ocular consumption would be enough to tide my cravings until Sunday afternoon. You wouldn’t believe how rude the women at the front desk was to me. Here’s a direct quote, “Sir, this is a Wendy’s! Please stop talking to the Dr. Pepper dispenser and put your clothes back on!” Hey, lady, how bout a little compassion for an addict?!

Speaking of compassion, Clyde Edwards-Helaire had none of it for the Texans in the season opener. The hyped up rookie gashed the Houston defense by taking 25 carries for 138 yards and a touchdown. Granted there were times when it seemed the Texans had only 3-men in the box and Clyde didn’t impress at the goal line, but even Edwards-Helaire haters have to admit he looked great otherwise. And the Mahomes led offense will yield plenty of light boxes throughout the season. I ranked CEH #11 overall in my 2020 fantasy football rankings, and looking to the rest of the season, I’d bump him up to #5 or 6 after this impressive week one workload. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

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Week 1 is finally here! Are you ready for some football? Thursday night party! And by party I mean small gatherings of less than 6 people. 

B_Don and Donkey Teeth have to talk about the recent Odell Beckham story to lead off the show. Then, we get into the tight end overview. Both of us have Kelce over Kittle and then we talk about DT’s infatuations, Darren Waller and Rob Gronkowski. We give our case for why we are lower on Tyler Higbee than the industry coming off his strong 2019 finish. B_Don then tries to talk DT off Jonnu Smith’s bum a**. 

After the TE discussion, we take a look at some seasonal awards where we both give you our MVPs, draft values, SB predictions, sleepers, busts, breakouts, and ROY. We wrap up the show with a couple of fan questions from @AGrieke and @BensGotTweets as they prepare for week 1. 

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I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

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Two days, football fans! Two days! That means the 2020 NFL Season will be upon us in a smaller span of time than your average game of cricket. Quicker than your seven round NFL Draft. And much faster than it takes Kirk Cousins to get rid of the ball on a typical pass play. Just two days and we’ll have NFL football. Two days until you get to turn months of research and late-night draft parties into something that actually matters as all the projection slowly turns into production. Today, we’ll begin with the former as I reveal my top 60 running backs heading into week one of the 2020 season. As a general baseline, I’ll be using half-PPR scoring for these rankings. Moving forward, I will continuously update these 60 backs on a weekly basis to provide an up-to-date snapshot at the top options at the position moving forward. Before we get into the actual rankings, here are some highlights from the opening list.

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Welcome to week 1! The coffee and takes are hot here at Razzball headquarters. Yes, Grey let’s us have coffee in his basement, but only when it’s the regular season. We need caffeine for this hamster wheel and he knows it. But AHHHH, it’s great to have real football back! You know, real football to add up scores for our fake football teams. 

I’ll be writing a buy/sell this season. It may be weekly, it may be bi-weekly. I’ll leave it up to a basis of necessity. I’m also going to be writing the Sunday Primer, putting out weekly rankings, and writing the start/sit column this year. 

Before your season starts, you might be interested in a trade to sure up your roster. This is the sharpest week to get a lot of value. Not everyone in your league may be privy to the upside of the players that they drafted. Your league mates might also be thirsty for early carries while you are playing the long game with your bench spots. Vacation is over! The markets are open! TRADE TRADE TRADE!

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