Well dear readers, let’s just get right to the good stuff today.

QB

Ryan Fitzpatrick, $7,600 – “Bucs QB” would be worth playing since you wouldn’t have to deal with the possible benching. Ryan Fitzpatrick, on his own, carries some risk of being benched. But that risk is entirely outweighed by the fact that he’s the starting QB in Air Monken. And Air Monken throws a lot. And volume is king.  

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My Bills took it on the chin again (going to be saying that quite a bit the rest of the next two seasons) as the Bears smacked Nathan Peterman around all day in a game that was downright offensive to the modern NFL offenses. I actually watched that entire game and then the New Orleans – LA Rams game and it felt like I was watching two different sports. Let’s get into some of the games from this past weekend…

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The baseball article I write during the baseball season has a section “Doing Lines In Vegas” but here in NFL season, we’re “Doing Lines With cinthree.” If anyone is willing bet me that Nathan Peterman will outscore the Chicago Bears defense in fantasy points tomorrow, I will take that bet. Peterman’s not going to break 10 and the Bears are probably putting up 12-15 (which makes them a bad play in DFS).

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Seriously. I could not wait for Monday Night Football just to listen to the absolute nonsense from Jason Witten and Booger McFarland, the latter of which should be prepared for someone in the crowd to black out and see a table on top of the #BoogerMobile. But despite that disaster of a football game taking place, let’s look back at at some of the action from Sunday’s games…

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Four straight weeks of double-digit fantasy points has David Njoku trending upwards in the top TE pecking order. He was a limited participant on Wednesday which leads me to believe that he’ll be playing (and eating) this weekend. His opponent, the Steelers, have allowed double-digit points to TEs for 5 straight weeks and Njoku will make that 6 despite only catching 3 passes for 13 yards in week 1 against the Steelers. It’s a whole njew Njoku in week 8! My take: Will play, start him.

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Well that was one hell of a ride. My Bills had Houston right where we wanted them. And Nathan Peterman just… just… just did Nathan Peterman things and threw a pick-6. I really shouldn’t have been surprised when it happened. He has to have done that at least 2847 times by now in his 396 day career. Before I go on a long tirade about how bad Josh Allen looked before he got hurt, let’s just take care of this game in its’ entirety.

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We have a London game! It should mean earlier football but instead it is the same time as the other early games but unfortunately the NFL is putting this game at noon as well. We all will have to wait another week to get a bonus 3 and a half hours of football. Speaking of London, apparently the Jaguars becoming London’s official team is closer to becoming a reality according to their ownership. That seems like nothing but a sh*tshow. Jacksonville finally has a competitor to root for and NOW it’s time for this. Khan wants to keep the team based in Jacksonville while playing some or most of their home games at Wembley stadium. Who would want to sign there? That’s taking away a lot of what home field advantage has to offer. Does Blake Bortles really play that much better overseas? But, if we can get more 8:30 games I might not complain that much. 

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If you saw the arguments this week on twitter, then you know there’s a question. Does defense matter for overall fantasy production? Most of the reason why people say defense doesn’t matter is because the way we measure defense is pretty terrible, and until we can measure true talent defense much better, the appearance of being a good or bad defense is super noisy and the amount of signal there is very very low. And in terms of how to predict the production for fantasy, teams vary what they do (and some teams do this randomly and are bad at it), and you would need to know what their scheme is and what player(s) they plan to exploit, and then the adjustments on the initial game plan come into play. If you have that information, first, please share it with me, and second, you’d probably be able to obliterate DFS (and Vegas, for that matter). But if you have that information, you’re not reading this article right now. So for those of you without it – let’s attack this slate with what we do know – namely, #NeverRun, offenses score points when they throw a lot, and one of the only ways we legitimately do see defenses mattering is in pass rush versus protection – it’s hard to score points when you’re being thrown down to the ground before you can throw a pass. 

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Back in kindergarten I was a real ladies donkey. All the other little donkeys were worried about catching cooties, but not ole Donkey Teeth. Your boy was busy scheduling play dates with all the kindergarten hotties; there was little time to worry about contracting the cooties, in fact, Donkey Teeth wanted those cooties.

Fast forward a quarter century, and while it seems my prowess with the ladies may have peaked a little early, I’m still trying to catch all the cooties I can: Keke Coutee that is (proper pronunciation is cue-Tee, but cut me a little slack). Coutee, the fourth round rookie out of Texas Tech, set a modern day record with 11 catches in his debut this week. Will Fuller’s hamstrings are literally held together by black forest ham and some strings; if Fuller misses more time, Coutee could be in for some monster weeks. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:
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