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Enough, already! Can we PLEASE stop trying to make Justin Fields a thing in fantasy football? What are we doing!? I’m done with the cutesy little introductions and self-deprecating jokes. It’s time to take a stand. I don’t care if he runs, throws, flies, digs underground and shoots lasers out of his eyes! The Chicago Bears offense isn’t worth it. Fantasy football playoffs are here, for Booger McFarland’s sake! Some of us need to get our heads out of our buttcracks, unless you’re still trying to figure out the best place for that last place finisher tattoo you’re about to be forced into getting. 

So, let’s get to it and fire up those decisions. This week, we’ll touch on Geno Smith, Austin Ekeler, Gus Edwards, Garrett Wilson and more. But if you don’t see your player of interest, hit me up in the comments. Week 16 start vs. sit begins right now.

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It’s fantasy POSTSEASON, y’all! Here’s to ensuring your playoff run continues into next week and the week thereafter and beyond, until you’re a 2023 fantasy football champion. Either that, or you’re competing to avoid the toilet bowel, last place and effectively being forced into having the league winner’s grandmother’s likeness tattooed onto your right buttcheek. Or your left. Or both. Or maybe you have to play frogger in four-lane traffic for an hour. I have no way of knowing how sick in the head your leaguemates are. All I can do is help you from becoming Main Street roadkill or having Grandma Elsa’s face stenciled onto your backside.

So let’s get to it and fire up those decisions. This week, we’ll touch on Justin Fields, D’Andre Swift, James Cook, Calvin Ridley and more. But if you don’t see your player of interest, hit me up in the comments. Week 15 start vs. sit begins right now.

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It’s all coming down to the wire, so don’t look down now! As we enter Week 14, you’re either sitting comfortably with a playoff spot in hand, battling tooth and nail to get in, enjoying the luxury of a bye, hyped for playoff fantasy football, or eliminated with no hopes of emerging from the grave. That’s a lot of potential options. Even more than I thought when I started typing. Hopefully, you’re not in situation No. 5, or else reading these very words is likely a complete waste of your time and you need to get back to fulfilling that TPS Report your boss asked about on Monday. Or possibly, you just love fantasy football so much you couldn’t possibly flick off the switch, no matter the circumstances. But regardless if you’re weathering the storm or your entire livelihood is on the line, we’ve got your start vs. sit advice right here. And if you don’t see the player you’re looking for, hit up the comments section, and let’s chat. Week 14 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Come here, come all. I have a tale I would like to share with you. I have a dear, dear friend named Nicholas who is a Buffalo Bills fan, and currently lives in a furious state of ceaseless agony. Not because he’s from New Jersey, no. But because he now watches all Bills games alone at home, in the dark, covered in a thick, wool blanket while clutching a sofa cushion desperately across his breast. “I’m in a bad place right now,” he says to me more than on occasion. And unfortunately, matters have only worsened since we last encountered, dear Razzballers. Alas, my dear friend finds himself in the midst of a full-on frenzy, which has only clouded his ability to adequately manage his fantasy roster. In Week 10, he inadvertently left Tee Higgins at Flex in the heat of a ruthless playoff race. It’s mid-November. We’ve reached that point where frustrations, or even concentrations, may be coming to a boiling point, either in regard to your NFL team or your fantasy roster. If you’re 2-8, chances are your playoff hopes are over. But please, please, do not be a New Jersey Nicholas. Do not allow your desperation as a fan to impact your attention-to-detail as an owner. And with a little bit of extra analysis from this week’s column, you could be sitting purdy (which I reccomend in the column) on Sunday. Week 11 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Our trek through November football begins with the arrival of Week 9. Join me, dear Razzballers, on the lovely Mayflower as we voyage across the ocean in search of greener pastures and kinder kings. Perhaps if your season hasn’t gone as planned, you instead find yourself sailing behind us in the Nina, Pinta, or Santa Maria as you chase your fellow league-mates for playoff spots. And if the season has truly been a disaster, you may have already died of scurvy, pneumonia, or tuberculosis before we left the port. Indeed, the campaign’s midpoint is looming, and the decisions that lie ahead could be the ones that make or break your pursuit of a championship. This week, we’ll touch on 10 players in particular including bold opinions on Derek Carr, Emari Demercado, and DK Metcalf. Week 9 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Come here, Georgie! That should be you, doing your best Pennywise impression to lure George Pickens onto your roster and into your lineups as we Trick-or-Treat our way into Halloweekend and Week 8 of the NFL fantasy football season. You can watch as Georgie trudges down the flooded street to your sewage drain in his drenched Steelers raincoat. One piece of advice: if you want Georgie to perform this week, don’t bite off either of his arms before hauling him into your fantasy lair. Now that he’s in your grasp, we already know Pickens is on the plus-end of start vs. sit this week – but what about Dak Prescott, Joe Burrow, Chuba Hubbard, Calvin Ridley, Dalton Kincaid and more? Week 8 start vs. sit begins right now.

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Week 3. Two down, 16 to go. With multiple games now in the books, we can finally begin dissecting trends as they emerge across the league. For starters, one trend that I’ve noticed is more and more male youths wearing tiny shorts to show off their thigh muscles. Another is the rapid rise of the streaming of Suits on Netflix. What does this have to do with fantasy football? Well, every NFL player has large thigh muscles and regularly wears a suit (probably). But not all players with large thigh muscles who wear suits are created equally. Some are better at football than others, and some are better equipped to help your Week 3 fantasy lineup, such as Russell Wilson and Gabe Davis. Who else? I’ll break that down and more in this week’s start vs. sit.

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Well, that was a doozy. The Aaron Rodgers-Jets Experiment lasted about as long as my underground rapping career. Last night, the Minnesota Vikings were about as good at possessing the football as Antonio Cromartie is at possessing contraceptives. And the Cowboys looked about as dominant in Week 1 as ever while Daniel Jones played the part of Benjamin Button at his first birthday party. We unpacked all of that, turned the page, and now we stand before Week 2. One game is in the books, leaving you to either celebrate your bold decision to roll out D’Andre Swift or scream out in agony as you watched him post 25-plus fantasy points on the bench. Although it’s too late to assist you with that decision, here’s my Week 2 insight as you go about making your start vs. sit calls. If I don’t hit on the player you’re looking for this week, hit me up in the comments section and we can discuss it at length.

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Welcome to Thursday Bite Football, Week 12 — the Thanksgiving Edition. It’s where you come to hide from your in-laws’ salt-and-pepper-crusted casseroles for all of 10 solitary minutes before returning to the madness of the holiday season. Or perhaps you’re out Black Friday shopping, pushing over grandmothers and little kids alike while bustling through the aisles and reading these delicate words. Wherever you may be, hopefully, you had the chance to inhale some home cooking and play some good, old-fashioned stump in the backyard with those you love, because that’s what it’s really all about — at least in my family. Throwing sharp, metal objects in the air and smashing nails into a log alongside close friends and family while Luke Combs wails in the background and someone’s fat uncle snoozes in the corner.

While I was doing all of that, I was also watching a riveting Thanksgiving slate (or plate) of NFL Football. Here’s what I saw:
While I was doing all of that, I was also watching a riveting Thanksgiving slate (or plate) of NFL Football. Here’s what I saw:

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Week 1 went well for me, as I went undefeated across my weekly leagues. That’s both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is the 1-0 starts and early dividends being paid. The curse is trying to figure out how well I’m actually positioned for ROS and trying not to overreact after a strong start, while also realizing it’s all downhill from here — just like my life save for the getting fatter part. Indeed, fantasy has become reality. And so it goes (as Kurt Vonnegut would say). Like myself, you’re probably trying to find that happy medium between overreaction and underreaction. Some of our concerns are warranted, but others simply aren’t. At the same time, many of the outstanding Week 1 performances are 100% real and should provide optimism for the remainder of the fantasy season. Here are five of my biggest Hobbservations from Week 1, focusing on the RB and WR positions.

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