What a time to be alive! 2020 has brought us pandemics, protests, rioting, looting and working from home in your underwear. You can cut the country’s social tension with that frosting spatula you’ve been using to itch your back. But whether you’re black, white, brown or cartoon, there’s one force with the power to unite us all: 2020 fantasy football rankings! Who’s with me? *crickets* Alright, maybe I got a little overexcited. It’s been awhile since I’ve had any human contact. Forget about six feet, I’m not allow to get within 300 feet of my girlfriend, Kerryon. But enough about the sad life of a donkey in love, here’s my top 10 quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:

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I wrote my original dynasty quarterback rankings while tripping on mushrooms, which led to Kyler Murray ahead of Deshaun Watson and Tua Tagovailoa ahead of Joe Burrow. Now I’ve moved on to a delightful concoction of LSD and MDMA. Because pandemics are once in a lifetime events, make the most of it. Needless to say, I’m not backing of the drug-induced hot takes. But I did make a few tweaks to my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football: 

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Quarantine Day 25:

I made a fire in the yard today while pondering my 2020 dynasty rankings. As I gazed into the flames, a series of vivid images began to appear. The Lord of Light was sending me a divine message about dynasty quarterbacks. Or maybe the mushrooms I had eaten were starting to kick in, hard to say. Either way, a life-size image of Kyler Murray arose from the blazing inferno. The meaning was clear, this dull and uneventful 20th year after 2000 will forever be know as the year of Kyler, and nothing else. Anyway, here’s my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:   

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What’s better than a dynasty football slow draft in February when there isn’t any football to watch anymore? I refuse to acknowledge the XFL, by the way. Okay, maybe a fantasy baseball draft would be a little more exciting than a football draft because the season is a lot closer. Some of us prefer football over baseball and there’s some of us that can do both. A fantasy sports Eiffel Tower, if you will. 

I was lucky enough to catch an industry friend’s tweet about a start up dynasty that was going to draft in February and I gave it about 0.2 seconds of thought before I came to the conclusion that I was all for it. I messaged Matt Williams and he gladly accepted me assuming that I don’t have a reputation of ghosting my teams (I don’t). It is a 12-team PPR superflex league with a TE premium. My opponents include: Scott Fish Bowl 8 champion Stompy, Matt Williams, John Hogue, Kane Fossell, Nick Faber, @DFSMich_5, Caleb Pierson, Steven Toroni, Jon Helmkamp, John Hesterman, @GOATDistrict and @EverydayFFB. Those are 12 names, but two of them co-own a team. 

I’ll mostly just be writing about my roster, but I will also point out some tidbits on how the draft board was shaking out. Most of the meat of the analysis will be in the first 10 or so rounds. First drafts of the season are rusty, and there will be plenty of trading in this league, but I’m hoping that a good portion of these picks shape out. I drafted from the 11 spot. 

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Strategy hardly ever changes for quarterbacks. Late round quarterback has been the way to go for quite some time in the fantasy football world. The last two seasons we had eruptions from late round quarterbacks Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson. We even had a big late season showing from Jameis Winston who was being drafted outside of the top 10 of quarterbacks. Fantasy football seems so easy!

The difficulty always lies in finding the RIGHT late round quarterback. If you put your sleeper eggs into the Mitchell Trubisky basket, you probably found yourself drowning your sorrows in a bottle Malort. Ahh, Malort. My favorite Malort saying is, “It’s easier telling someone that you have nothing to live for.” 

Rookie quarterbacks are so exciting. There are always a few exciting new names to look closely at. I was extremely impressed watching Joe Burrow a couple of weeks back. We already know that Burrow is 99.99999% going to be a Cincinnati Bengal next year. Unless he decides to pull an Eli Manning and tells his agent that he would refuse to sign in a rust belt industrial purgatory. So assuming Burrow ends up smoking cigars in Cincinnati, the Bengals would be wise to improve their offensive line during free agency. The Bengals ranked 26th in the NFL in adjusted sack rate in 2019. 

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With the final week of the 2019 fantasy season upon us, we’ve got a shortened Ambulance Chasers column, due to the fact that there aren’t a lot of fantasy-relevant players still left, with many teams out of contention, and therefore, a lot of players out of contention too. While we’ve only got to focus on a handful amount of players left, there are a few trouble spots that we should be aware of…

So let’s dive right into it.

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Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we will look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out. Stats courtesy of PlayerProfiler.com.

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Happy Thanksgiving loyal readers! It’s the one day of the year that you can crack a beer at 10 in the morning and nobody in your family will look at you twice. Football also starts an hour earlier than it does on a normal Sunday. There won’t be a wrap up of these three games tomorrow so if you have any questions for me before Sunday’s primer, this will be the post for them. 

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A quick google search tells me there’s only three predators capable of killing a Jaguar. The first is the anaconda—that big ass snake from the Jon Voight movie. The second is the caiman—these little gator looking guys in Mexico and South America. And the third, of course, is Derrick Henry—which makes sense because he looks a lot like a Predator. In week 13 last year, Henry took 17 carries for 238 yards and 4 touchdowns. I remember that game well because I was required to attend a 2.5 hour holiday lights trolley tour on that Thursday night which, to my surprise, turned out to be much more pleasant than watching Derrick Henry destroy my fantasy hopes and dreams before the week even started. Fast forward around 12 months, if you were playing against The Predator this week then I hope you also had a long Sunday afternoon holiday light trolley tour to attend. Henry rumbled for 159 yards on 19 carries plus another 16 yards on 1 reception and 2 touchdowns—he has 10 touchdowns on the season and is now under protest by PETA for his crimes against Jaguars.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

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