Your lungs are burning as you bend over to catch your breath. Snot trickles to your upper lip and the icy wind whips around causing it to freeze almost instantly. We’ve been hiking for 2 weeks but it already feels like an eternity. As the blood rushes to your forehead, you wonder how this seemed like a good idea 6 months ago while surfing the internet in your posh apartment in the city.

Of course, you know it’s too far to turn back, but the end is nowhere in sight. All that can be done is to make the best of the journey and put one foot in front of the other. The crunch of the snow betrays me as I saunter over and remind you “The next checkpoint is getting close where we can add some RBs for the week ahead.” Blinking, you stand up and look over the trail where the ridge meets the sun and feel a glimmer of hope. There’s fight left in you.

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Lamar Jackson threw for five touchdowns en route to a 36.6/33.6 point performance on DraftKings/Fanduel, respectively. Mark Ingram rumbled for a pair of touchdowns and registered 25.7/22.7 fantasy points. DeSean Jackson went off in his Philadelphia debut, scorching the Redskins defense for 38.4/31.4 fantasy points. Mark Andrews and Delanie Walker each recorded 20+ point performances at the depleted tight end position. The 49ers defense picked off Jameis Winston for a touchdown not once but twice to lead all fantasy defenses.

You know what all of these players had in common other than their strong outings? They were all a part of my Week 1 DFS guide (sure, Jameis Winston and Adam Humphries were too, but you can’t win them all, right?), and as you can see, I’m humbly enjoying my overall accuracy. It won me some money, and I hope it did the same for you. Let’s do it again!

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In the final edition of ADP Risers/Fallers, I’m a buyer. I’m buying a lot. I feel like Jerry Jones (save for Zeke). The fantasy community has done a nice job of analyzing news stories and making appropriate adjustments to their draft boards.

But, as always, there are some things that the fantasy community seems to really like that I’m just not feeling. I’ll share these with you in the hope that during your drafts, most just DAYS away (!!!), you follow along and avoid some guys that shouldn’t have risen as well as scoop up some guys that didn’t deserve to fall.

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The first slate of preseason games typically leaves a small mark on fantasy draft rankings. A lot of the big names sit, and a lot of the action reinforces previous thought. However, there were some eye-raising moments throughout Week 1. Lamar Jackson looks primed to throw the ball with more frequency. Sam Darnold looks like he may develop into the star he was drafted to be. And Daniel Jones may very soon be the face of the National Football League after his pristine performance… or not.

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Picture yourself in a bizarro-world casino where the gin and tonics aren’t watered down and the roulette table has more black spaces than red. After counting a few times you’re certain there are more black spaces on the wheel. You notice other gamblers are getting normal payouts for bets on black, one-to-one. The odds of winning are greater but the risk is the same as betting red. So I ask you, hypothetical gambler: why would you ever bet on red?

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Preseason hype players can be complete waste of draft picks if you put your eggs in the wrong baskets. This is the time of year that people on twitter are planting their flag on football players like they were the first person to step foot on Mars. A lot of us already knew they were […]

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Hey y’all.  Please note that where fantasy position ranks are cited: they were pulled from www.pro-football-reference.com’s NFL Fantasy Rankings. Also note that these are non-PPR rankings.  This list only includes Un-Restricted Free Agents (UFAs), it does not include Exclusive Rights Free Agents (ERFAs) or Antonio Brown (We can rank Tony once we see if his QB is going to be future HOFer Big Ben or future Gym Teacher Blake Bortles or someone in between, but don’t think either spot or any in between really changes his value much).

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Get your sausage, juicy sausage, right here! On this week’s Ditka affair, Donkey Teeth and B_Don chat about the LeVeon Bell aftermath, AFC/NFC favorites, and then dive into some film review of Aaron Jones and John Ross. 

Later in the spectacle, the fellas tell you whether to hold the Ditka on Alshon Jeffery, Allen Robinson, Josh Gordon, and Donte Moncrief. And guess who might be the A-hole of the week and possibly the year! Hint: his name rhymes with Flaveon Snell. Sniff the free sausage fumes below: 

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Have you ever shared custody of a dog with an ex-spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? Prayfully not, my goodmen, but surely you know some poor sod who takes part in this sad and pathetic lifestyle, someone you look down upon with shame as if they were a lower form of human life. As if they, well, you know, thought sharing a dog with an ex was a solid idea. If you didn’t know someone before, you do now!! ME, Beddict, former Commander and Chief of the Players club, himself, somehow buried in this game like a rotting  casket. How did we (me) get here? There is not enough battery left in my MacBook Air (Lap top in laymen terms), to tell that tale, and thank the Elders for that, but I’ll whack ya with a few deets, just in case you want to get your beak wet…..I don’t even know what that means. 

Anyway, I have five dogs total, two with my ex in Seattle, and three with my last girlfriend in New Orleans. NOLA won’t actually speak to me, either because she despises me, that or she’s being respectful to her strange new emo- King Fiancé. All I know, is that when I stalk her Instagram every night, I NEVER SEE MY BABY JILLIAN!!! I see the other two angels, but little Jillie bean is nowhere in sight…Hmmmm, anyway, I HAD five dogs scattered across the country like dust in the wind, six if you count the dog that was mine that I gave to my Mom 14 years ago. He was so handsome, I say, “WAS,” for he was tragically killed three weeks ago, ON MY BIRTHDAY, ruining my day and in a way, my life. So I suppose we’re back to five, four if Jillian is no longer among the breathing. This led to my first ex sweetly offering to “ALLOW” me to see our two dogs for a week or so, since she felt so awful about Q-ball being run over on my birthday and all. We weren’t on speaking terms so I thought this to be a truly grand gesture of kindness………Alas, life only allows pleasant emotions for short periods of time before ripping them out with rusty machete. One week turned into 10 days, and it also turned out that she was getting married and just had nowhere else to leave the dogs since they’re too old to be left at any kennel. Married to the friend zone king who had stalked her our entire relationship, you know the type. Shit, some of you probably are the type. For me to properly draft the proper amount of ratchetness involved would take the last remaining splinters of my soul, and that, guys/gals, is too much to ask. Even of me. 

What am I going on about? This is a fantasy sports website. But isn’t that why you love (Despise) me? Below are my thoughts on this past week’s NFL games. Take heed!

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