Get your sausage, juicy sausage, right here! On this week’s Ditka affair, Donkey Teeth and B_Don chat about the LeVeon Bell aftermath, AFC/NFC favorites, and then dive into some film review of Aaron Jones and John Ross. 

Later in the spectacle, the fellas tell you whether to hold the Ditka on Alshon Jeffery, Allen Robinson, Josh Gordon, and Donte Moncrief. And guess who might be the A-hole of the week and possibly the year! Hint: his name rhymes with Flaveon Snell. Sniff the free sausage fumes below: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Have you ever shared custody of a dog with an ex-spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? Prayfully not, my goodmen, but surely you know some poor sod who takes part in this sad and pathetic lifestyle, someone you look down upon with shame as if they were a lower form of human life. As if they, well, you know, thought sharing a dog with an ex was a solid idea. If you didn’t know someone before, you do now!! ME, Beddict, former Commander and Chief of the Players club, himself, somehow buried in this game like a rotting  casket. How did we (me) get here? There is not enough battery left in my MacBook Air (Lap top in laymen terms), to tell that tale, and thank the Elders for that, but I’ll whack ya with a few deets, just in case you want to get your beak wet…..I don’t even know what that means. 

Anyway, I have five dogs total, two with my ex in Seattle, and three with my last girlfriend in New Orleans. NOLA won’t actually speak to me, either because she despises me, that or she’s being respectful to her strange new emo- King Fiancé. All I know, is that when I stalk her Instagram every night, I NEVER SEE MY BABY JILLIAN!!! I see the other two angels, but little Jillie bean is nowhere in sight…Hmmmm, anyway, I HAD five dogs scattered across the country like dust in the wind, six if you count the dog that was mine that I gave to my Mom 14 years ago. He was so handsome, I say, “WAS,” for he was tragically killed three weeks ago, ON MY BIRTHDAY, ruining my day and in a way, my life. So I suppose we’re back to five, four if Jillian is no longer among the breathing. This led to my first ex sweetly offering to “ALLOW” me to see our two dogs for a week or so, since she felt so awful about Q-ball being run over on my birthday and all. We weren’t on speaking terms so I thought this to be a truly grand gesture of kindness………Alas, life only allows pleasant emotions for short periods of time before ripping them out with rusty machete. One week turned into 10 days, and it also turned out that she was getting married and just had nowhere else to leave the dogs since they’re too old to be left at any kennel. Married to the friend zone king who had stalked her our entire relationship, you know the type. Shit, some of you probably are the type. For me to properly draft the proper amount of ratchetness involved would take the last remaining splinters of my soul, and that, guys/gals, is too much to ask. Even of me. 

What am I going on about? This is a fantasy sports website. But isn’t that why you love (Despise) me? Below are my thoughts on this past week’s NFL games. Take heed!

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Is it not the most awkward damn trolley you’ve ever seen? That it will be on display in Buffalo of all places with a decent chance of vandalism in the forecast for it only makes me more excited for the Pats blowout of the Bills on MNF. While Booger rails against logic and analytics throughout the broadcast and Jason Witten bumbles through introductory 3rd grade math, there is a non-0% chance a member of the #BillsMafia will make a leap of faith from the stands onto the #BoogerMobile. But before that game takes place, there are a couple from the Sunday slate that are worth looking at.

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Last year I made a Colin Kaepernick prediction pick in my waiver wired column (check it out!) and obviously you saw how that ended up. Well this year there are two teams who are desperate for good QB play are the Bills (who just really started Derek Anderson in a game) and the Jaguars who could be a playoff favorite if it weren’t for Blake Bortles. If Kaepernick still isn’t in the NFL, then may I present exhibit A in the NFL vs. Colin Kaepernick your honor. Kaep is still only 30 years old and is probably the healthiest QB on the planet right now. So what do you think? Are you crazy enough to add Kaepernick?

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Jameis Winston (@ ATL): Jameis Winston and a guy named Chester in the same article and I’m not making that the headline? I deserve some praise for my maturity. It’s already been reported that Winston will be QB1 in Atlanta in week 6. The Falcons are tied for second-most TD passes allowed and are 10th in passing yards allowed and have allowed 20+ fantasy points to their opposing QBs in 4 straight games now. Jameis is only 12.6% owned and just like with Baker Mayfield — he won’t be that available for long.

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This piece of writing is going to hurt my soul and hurl my remaining brain cells right down a metaphorical volcano. Perhaps it’s the thin Colorado air at over 9,000 feet above altitude or the activities that are legal here, but I am starting to see myself drafting Leonard Fournette this season. If you read my preseason stuff or listened to the podcast last season, you know that I faded Fournette and made fun of his YPC and lack of production every week that the yards weren’t there. Every time he was listed as questionable or was ruled out Sunday Morning, I was thankful that it wasn’t my problem. The thing is there were not a lot of owners who were upset by the results when it was all said and done. He also looked like a pretty serviceable work horse in the playoffs. There were things to not like last year when it came to Fournette, but damn it, there is some promise for fantasy owners going into 2018.

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Well it’s been a little bit, hasn’t it? The last time I’ve put pen to paper for Razzball was all the way back in December! But I’m glad to be back writing once again.

But after a wild playoffs, a disappointing Super Bowl (for the Pats), I’m glad to be back to help recap some of the best (and worst) free agency moves from these past few weeks.

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Hey guys, we are only a few weeks away from real football! Football that actually counts! Holy moly! I’ve been a bit tied up these past few weeks, and haven’t been able to finish my division previews (thanks a lot Sammy Watkins, Ezekeiel Elliot, Julian Edelman and Spencer Ware). So let’s do that, with the final two coming in the AFC West and South. So for today, let’s look at the AFC South!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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diggscatch

In what could have been a wonderful work of satire in today’s title, last night’s Sunday excursion into Minnesota’s new football stadium may have upended years of programming in thinking that Sam Bradford (22/31, 286 YDS, 9.2 AVG, 2 TD, 121.2 RTG and 1 CAR, -3 YDS) isn’t quite the second coming of Joe Montana, but moreso a cross between Mr. Glass from Unbreakable and Jimmy Clausen. Yeah, an M. Night Shyamalan reference, deal with it. One game won’t change my expertly crafted comparisons, but after beating a team that has basically controlled the division for the last decade, and doing it mostly without Adrian Peterson who did essentially nothing until finally resigning to get injured and leave the game, should say something. I mean, Matt Asiata got more in his first carry this game than Peterson has ran the entire year… And so when we are in the second week of the season, saying that the Vikings front office was onto something by mortgaging a part of their future in a desperate attempt to replace Teddy Bridgewater may be a step too far as of now (since if you whisper “Sam Bradford” into a mirror three times, one of his ACLs will explode.), it is an encouraging start. And before you think that Bradford may not be the lede you were looking for, I think the meta conversation here is that forming conclusions and finding confirmation bias from two weeks of football is probably not wise. And that’s something that should probably be discussed. It matters in the general football sense if you’re, say, a Seahawks fan, but it also matters in fantasy football if you’re, say,  a Todd Gurley owner. When is the right time to panic? To make a move? We’ve only seen about 12% of the season thus far, and to make a baseball reference, that’s game 20. Making waiver moves, exploring trades, probing at what you can do is always a good thing, but my advice here (since I’ve seen a lot of inquiries on this) is to hold for the moment. Or, at the very least, do not sell yourself short. Just wait a bit longer before chugging down the bourbon and gaslighting yourself… one more week, maybe two, before you make any major decisions, and I promise you’ll have a clearer picture and still have enough time left to do something about it.

Here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s Week 2 Sunday games…

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