The choice for this week’s lede seemed obvious heading into the final game of the Week 6. Fresh off the Chiefs’ signing of Le’Veon Bell to a one-year deal, Clyde Edwards-Helaire erupted for 161 yards on 26 carries, adding another four receptions on four targets for eight yards. Other than the fact that CEH remains allergic to the end zone, it was an outstanding performance, as he cruised to 6.2 yards-per-carry while handling all of his targets with ease. Meanwhile, Bell saw a much different line in the box score: three plane rides, two luxury hotel stays, seven tweets and a new Mahomes. A big boost to the fantasy value? Well, it depends on how you look at it, as they say. All things are relative. It’s certainly a worse landing spot compared to somewhere like Miami or Buffalo where Bell would have a much greater likelihood of handling lead-back duties. However, playing second fiddle to CEH (which we have to assume for now, based on his Week 6 performance) still beats being the feature back for the New York Jets. Hell, being Andy Reid’s butt-scratcher beats being the No.1 running back for Gang Green. Still, I have to mention that it was in fact Darrel Williams (six carries, 16 yards, one rushing TD; one reception, 15 yards) that found pay dirt, running in a 13-yard score in the third quarter.

As of 8:15 ET on Monday night, that was the clear headline for my top 60 rest of season running back rankings. Well, that was until early in the second quarter of the nightcap between the Cowboys and Cardinals, where we saw the second highest paid running back in the NFL, Ezekiel Elliott, cough up his fourth and fifth fumbles of the season — and it’s only Week 6! By the way, that gives Elliott a share of the NFL lead for fumbles alongside Joe Burrow, Derek Carr and Carson Wentz. That’s right, he leads all running backs. Notably, the Cowboys actually showed a willingness to move away from Elliott for much of the second quarter after that, likely out of an attempt to both wake Elliott up and prioritize salvaging the game as it quickly got away from them. Tony Pollard ended up with a season-high seven carries in the first half, which he turned into 26 yards on the ground. In the end, however, it was obviously still Zeke’s backfield in the second half. Zeke finished with 12 carries for 49 yards, but he also caught eight of 11 targets (most on team) for 31 yards. Pollard finished with 10 carries for 31 yards, adding another two catches for nine yards. It’s reasonable to be concerned if you own any fantasy weapons in the Dallas offense after their performance on Monday night. Abysmal just doesn’t seem to be the right word, but it’ll do for now. The remainder of Dallas’ schedule is also pretty tough against running backs, so I’ve downgraded Elliott one spot.

Before we get to the Week 7 rankings, let’s take a quick trip around the league.

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We are now at the quarter-mark of the NFL season, believe it or not! We’re now starting to get a better feel for who we should be starting and sitting on a week-to-week basis, and which matchups are actually ones to target, rather than matchups that look good because of a small sample size.

There are some very interesting matchups on deck for Week 5, so let’s talk about some.

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I’m pretty sure I could compare tonight’s Monday Night Football game to that of the first Presidential debate pretty closely, but I get kinda stuck at who plays the part of Donald Trump. Like, I think the obvious choice would be Sean Peyton, but then we’d have to inject his skin with Cheetos to get the correct pigment. Hey, if you’re going to do an analogy, you gotta go 100%. But since this is a day where football actually will finish second to something other than it’s own news, I don’t mind going ahead and just talking about the matchup tonight that features two dumpster fires. I’m actually talking about football this time guys. Yes, the eternal battle between two floundering NFC South teams not named the Panthers is on full display tonight as we get to see the idea of defense be dismissed and scorned like the silly idea that it is to both these teams. Generally, I’d usually pick the home team between the two, so the Saints get my vote (see what I did there?), but I think the real debate (did it again, red hot fire they call me folks) is how many points the teams score total. I’m guessing in the thousands, but you’re right, that number sounds a bit too conservative. (WOOOO. Trifecta baby!)

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Ah yes, the required prime time NFC South showdown that’s required at least twice a year, featuring mediocracy at it’s finest, and always ending with 400 combined points, earned in the derpiest way possible. But this year might be different. Well, with the Saints 1-4, maybe just half different. The Atlanta Falcons, at a surprising 5-0, look to open the season with six straight wins. Which would also mean they would have consecutive road wins for the first time in 13 seasons. That’s basically the most NFC South thing I’ve ever written. Now, six wins would be a strong statement if it weren’t against such a questionable schedule and with such happenstance circumstances. That schedule has included the Eagles, Giants, Romo-less (or Weeden-more!) Cowboys, Texans, and Washington Potatoes. The circumstances? They’ve trailed in the fourth quarter in four of those five games… which essentially means they could be sharing a similar record with the Saints if not for a little bit of luck and something called Devonta Freeman. The same Freeman who used to make Trent Richardson seem useful. Can the Falcons and Freeman (and Julio Jones hamstring) keep the streak going? I don’t know, but if Sean Peyton’s lemon face is in full force tonight, I’d say: MAYBE.

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Rankings have been updated for tonight’s game and can be found here

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Please?

Imagine an alley my friends. And in that alley, imagine a dumpster. And, if you can, imagine a fire in that dumpster. Some would call it a “dumpster fire”. Good for them, because it’s a good name for it. I also have a good name. I call it “Falcons Defense”. After giving up the most yards in the NFL this season, and the only team not to register a sack, I think a new strategy needs to implemented. Just let the Buccaneers score so you can get the ball back quicker. I’m not sure you’ll win, but I’ll at least be very entertained. And as the scores would probably end up in the quadruple digits, I’ll probably be very turned on as well. Hey baby, what’s your name, what’s yo– holy sh*t, that’s like 28 touchdowns. MARRY ME.

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Greetings! Ya’ll wanna see my face? Well, now’s your chance as for the second year in a row I’ve been handpicked by Andrew Siciliano to participate in DirecTV’s promotional fantasy football extravaganza. Receiving the opportunity to ask MJD and Roddy White questions pertaining to fantasy was like a dream come true for me, not so much unlike my other dream that came true of having Dina and Lindsay Lohan at the same time. God, that was hot. Anyway, I was only given a couple minutes and somehow managed to offend MJD by asking him if his quarterback is still seeing ghosts out there and also call Roddy, “Julio” 2-3 times. WHOOPS! Witness.

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