Note to self: don’t get cute with your picks. Not only will the readers let you hear it, but it’ll blow up in your face. I threw one too many hail marys in my article last week and I’m not sure if any of them were caught. Odell Beckham, Brandin Cooks and Russell Wilson are just a few of the guys who this idiot recommended. Don’t worry, I’ll do better fam! Leave them comments below if you’ve got league specific questions… 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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As any Razzball reader would attest, to me, these NFC East games are always considered to be beautiful bundles of absolute derp. The last prime time divisional match-up was in Week 3 when Washington took on the Giants. In that Thursday Night Live Thread, I had mentioned that the Cowboys and Giants games usually provided enough for my own personal derp quota (along with Washington versus the Gaints), and I feel like I left out this particular divisional rivalry, which has had it’s own highlight moments and unique (lol) fan experiences. This season’s first divisional game between the two teams is interesting in that we get to make fun of Chip Kelly more for being so innovative this offseason, and also keep a close look on Eli Manning to see if he’s learned anything about clock management. To his credit, Manning’s already surpassed Andy Reid in that area. There’s a lot at stake tonight, as we are approaching the half-point of the season still waiting for a team to take advantage of the Cowboys injuries which should have gifted first place to whatever team wanted it. Like a incredulous bizarro game of hot potato, not one NFC East team has taken the bait, and all seem content wasting away in the great football ocean of mediocrity. Which could also describe the Atlantic. So here we are, Monday Night Football and the battle for first place in the NFC East. Smart money says this ends in a tie…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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As has been a reoccurring theme this season (and all of last year if you were hanging out with us), the NFC East is known for the derp and nothing but the derp. Call it the cornucopia of derp, if you will. And you should, because Thanksgiving is just a mere few months away. Which is close enough for me, because turkey. And while the Cowboys and Eagles always offer their own unique brand of derp, Washington and the New York “Football” (HUR DUR) Giants were born in it. Molded by it. Watching these two teams is always an existential exploration of mascochism for their fans, and when you combine two such forces of derp, it’s almost like going on a life-fulfilling camping trip. The air is so fresh, the scenery is so majestic. The catharsis of it all… and then you get lyme disease. It’s like the Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus, but in this case, Icarus is the derp, we are Daedalus, and these two teams are the sun. Ya know, maybe I should have just stuck to writing about turkey…

Rankings have been updated for tonight’s game and can be found here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Can’t get more exciting than this folks. The battle for last place in the NFC East is up for grabs tonight, and I for one will be watching this game with bated breath, much like how I watch porn. Playing in a short week, Washington will be coming in with some personnel issues from a very physical game against the Eagles last Sunday. DeAngelo Hall has a ruptured left Achilles (which might actually improve the secondary), Brian Orakpo and Jason Hatcher are both out, along with Shawn Lauvao and Duke Ihenacho. If I were him, I would just retire, as being the Duke of Nachos seems to be one of the worthiest of life pursuits. The Giants come in a bit healthier, but that’s not saying much, seeing as they were only able to put a semi-complete game together against the hapless Texans. And I’m being friendly when I say semi. Regardless, when two teams in the NFC East get together to see who can derp the most, I usually assume it involves the Cowboys, but this match-up will do just fine.

Please, blog, may I have some more?