There’s a common occurrence in golf which all avid golfers are familiar with. Here’s how it goes down: a golfer plays a horrific round of golf that they’d like to burn out of their memory like that time you caught your parents in a threesome with your neighbor Randy. Then, on the 18th hole, the golfer hits one of the purest, most beautiful shots of their life. The golf gods always keep you coming back for more. Monday night’s Steelers vs. Bengals game was the complete opposite of this golf phenomenon for many fantasy football owners who played a great season only to fall flat on their face on the next to last hole as Ben Roethlisberger forgot how to play football going 20/38 for 170 yards with 1 touchdown and 1 interception. Big Barf tried to drag the rest of the Steelers’ fantasy weapons down with him, but Diontae Johnson (8 catches for 59 yards and his 6th touchdown) and Benny Snell (18 carries for 84 yards, 3 catches for 23 yards and his 4th touchdown) were impervious as they mopped up the barf. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

 

Week 1 of the playoffs is in the books and the podcast duo of B_Don and Donkey Teeth are happy with their performances with DT moving up into the Championship Bracket of the RazzBowl 2. The Browns and Ravens game was as entertaining as we’ve seen in the MNF spotlight this year. The Brown(s) Town keeps following around Cleveland, first it was OBJ and now it was the poo minute break for LJax.

We go over some of the injuries from week 14 and the potential fallout for Matthew Stafford, Deebo Samuel, and the Dolphins pass catchers. Speaking of Deebo Samuel, is it time to officially label him as injury prone, and has fellow Niner pass catcher Brandon Aiyuk passed him?

The guys bring up some of the RBs that have transformed into league winners here at the end of the year in David Montgomery, Derrick Henry, and Cam Akers. A couple of DT’s favorites in Miles Sanders and Jonathan Taylor made up for some of their previous transgressions by blowing up this week. We review some of the other happenings from week 14 before wrapping up with our A**hole of the Week! 

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What a weekend! Masters Sunday in November due to pandemic scheduling. College football hanging on by a thread with virus outbreaks and cancelled games. But the NFL? No worries, mon. It was a light news cycle this week with lots of wind and weather, but one man had the gall to go off.  Wayne Gallman toted 18 carries for 53 yards, caught 1 pass for 7 yards and hit pay dirt for his 4th and 5th touchdowns. Wayne Enterprises’ stock spiked this past week when Devonta Freeman (hamstring) was placed on the IR. Somehow Gallman’s only owned in 50% of Yahoo leagues. Most of those leagues are probably abandoned but make sure yours isn’t one of them. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every year there are a handful of players that can elevate a fantasy team to the championship or sink them to the depths of the standings. All players are unique in their skill sets, team context, and career trajectory but some profiles do line up. 

As we get into draft season, we’re all searching for value. However value alone rarely wins fantasy championships! What is needed is a shooting star who not only outperforms their ADP but gives elite fantasy production even in a vacuum. To put it simply, outliers win titles. So while I frequently don’t plan on unsustainable efficiency when selecting players, I understand that we should pick guys who have a path to explode. 

So who will be this year’s all NEXT team?

Lamar Jacksonyoung quarterback who becomes a weekly star

Joe Burrow – ADP QB18, 166 overall

To be honest, there is no one like Jackson. Not only is his running talent unmatched, there is also no offense that will sell out their scheme to support his game the way the Ravens have. However Burrow will walk into an offense with a good supporting cast and a bad defense. He had the most efficient college season ever and that bodes well for a quick transition to the NFL. Burrow is likely to challenge Baker Mayfield’s rookie touchdown record and can chip in 20 yards on the ground every week which adds up. 

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Opening the week as the highest over/under of the season at 55.5, HOU @ KC now sits as the tied-for-2nd highest point total in 2019 at 55. A clash between offenses that rank #4 (KC) and #9 in points per game. Poorly buried by the NFL in the early slate of games, everyone get their popcorn ready early this Sunday. Both teams rank in the top 10 in total offensive plays ran this season, #3 KC and #8 HOU, and find their way onto this weeks shootout game preview.

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My roommate recently came into a bunch of free golf equipment. Apparently it fell off a truck. He’s now selling the goods off piecemeal via eBay and Craigslist, occasionally he’ll even throw in a sexual favor or two to close a deal. Titleist, Ping, Taylormade, Callaway: you name it he’s got it! Oh, you aren’t interested in a golf equipment/BJ combo deal? Well, there’s another Callaway who might stir your loins.

The Browns have finally cut ties with Josh Gordon. They stuck with Josh through thick and thin blunts, but an off the field hamstring injury? No, this the Browns could not tolerate. Now, a new extremely talented wide receiver with a clouded past and major character concerns will be thrust into the Cleveland limelight. Quick, get Antonio Callaway on your team before his weed stash runs out! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 1 is in the books, we are on the heel of the Thursday Night Football Bengals-Ravens game and I couldn’t be more happy. Is there any better time of the year? Before I clicked submit on this piece, we received a beautiful clip of Joe Mixon jogging in to the locker room early in the first quarter with a right knee injury. This will be the freshest handcuff report out on the inter-web. Mixon owners please pick up Giovani Bernard, he is looking fresh out there!

I will not go down a rabbit hole of why you should roster your RB handcuff because I know you are here to scroll straight to the names, that is what I am here to give you. Read my pre-season handcuff article if you are curious. I’ll sum it up for you, SCHEME!

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Nov 20, 2016; Santa Clara, CA, USA; New England Patriots wide receiver Malcolm Mitchell (19) after a play against the San Francisco 49ers during the third quarter at Levi's Stadium. The New England Patriots defeated the San Francisco 49ers 30-17. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s Deep Impact! This is going to be a short one as I recover from my two Thanksgiving feasts (just one of the many benefits of growing up as a child of divorce). As my arteries course with gravy, allow me to share some players that I’m thankful are available in less than 10% of Yahoo leagues.

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Welcome back everybody to this week’s edition of “Deep Implants”, our recurring series here at Razzball discussing the history of American spies planted overseas during war. This week, we’ll take a look at the exploits of Edward Bancroft, a Massachusetts-born scholar who was a key provider of intelligence from London to Ben Franklin during the Revolutionary War. Before diving into his espionage, let’s start with his studies that showed eels use electricity to capture their prey… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this is actually another installment of Deep Impact, and also that BANCROFT WAS A DOUBLE AGENT THE WHOLE TIME! NO, BEN FRANKLIN, STOP GIVING THIS MAN INFORMATION!!! As a refresher for those of you who missed the first regular season piece in this series, this is for fantasy football players who like to hang out in the deep end. Metaphorically speaking, of course; I don’t go into the actual deep end as I’m not a strong swimmer and the kids are really judgmental these days. Floaties are for adults too, dammit!

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Luckily there are no major injuries this week that would kill fantasy football owners. Minor injuries? Sure, but that’s what I’m here for. To tell you who to stash, drop, and even start as well. This week, it’s time to part ways with some of our high draft picks even though my heart is literally in pain having to tell you some of them. Even though I did love some of them, I don’t as much anymore and have to let them go for the next “hot thing” to come along.

Please, blog, may I have some more?