Full of Thanksgiving Sausage and Ditka dreams, the guys return to the mic with analysis of the monstrous David Njoku along with yet another up and coming undrafted running back, Peyton Barber. Do these two have the potential to lead your team to fantasy glory? Uh, no, doubtful; but they’re worth taking a look at anyway.

In the special dynasty segment of Sausage/Cheesehead/Ditka, find out whether to buy, sell or hold James Conner, Antonio Brown, Julio Jones and Lamar Jackson in dynasty leagues. Don’t ask how the sausage is made, just enjoy it!

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For this week’s article I am going to try something new. Let’s get a conversation going on a topic that’s DFS-related but not particularly substantive (and thus probably won’t be the topic of discussion anywhere else). Is it a good thing that the Rams/Chiefs game won’t be on the main slate? I’m not talking about the general point about the value of having the MNF game on the slate (as they used to do a few years ago), rather, just specifically the Rams/Chiefs game, which has the highest total since 1986 and would have had numerous guys who would have been main cogs of your lineup had the game been on the slate (Gurley, at his slightly lowered price of $10,600, and Tyreek Hill at $7,900 would have been two monster plays, Kelce at $7,800, Woods at $7,500, and Cooks at $7,800 would have been expensive pieces but reasonable plays, Josh Reynolds at $5,000 would have been an interesting punt, and while Patrick Mahomes at $9,500 may have been priced out of viability, Jared Goff at $8,300 would certainly be in the conversation). So, what say you, my loyal readers? Feel free to post as to whether you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing that the Rams/Chiefs game isn’t on the slate (or if you think it’s good for cash games, bad for GPPs, or vice versa, that’s certainly an interesting take too). I’d love to hear everyone’s opinion on this…

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I’m bored with reviewing five or six games per week. I feel suffocated, you know? Why keep me tied down to just writing about half of Sunday’s games? It’s my Monday column, why not bring the realness. Like Marky Mark says in The Other Guys, “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!” I want to go position by position and see how it flows.

So what are two fun categories to correctly identify each? Well, ‘Stars’ is easy. It’s clear and to the point. What could possibly categorize something so blind-siding and awful that it sucks the life right out of your fantasy team that stays with the astrology theme? There has to be something that’s, let’s say, related to the misery of being a Raiders fan. There literally can’t be anything worse. I’ve got it. Black holes. Now that we have that covered, let’s start with quarterbacks…

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Last week we finally had a reader tie the touts. Three folks achieved the high score of 8 correct: reader Sweaty Pants tied two of Razzball’s own in Brandon Myers and Matt Bowe. The reader bell curve was normal, but the touts was smashed to the ends. That’s interesting in a way someone better at data analysis could tell you. The winner of this week’s reader side will receive the DJax chain that Matt Bowe wore with his FitzMagic Halloween costume (*may be a replica). As usual, you can get an extra point if share your favorite of these props on any social media. THIS WEEK’S PROPS are live so get crunching. You can see the response distribution of the tout side here.

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That is how I envision Nathan Peterman going out on Sunday will look like. It’s an embarrassment to football and modern civilization that he continues to get opportunities to start games in the National Football League. Where we all saw Nick Mullens last night destroy a Raiders team that is actually an abomination, it will be a real contest to see if Peterman can do worse. Let’s look at some of the key games for fantasy this week…

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If you saw the arguments this week on twitter, then you know there’s a question. Does defense matter for overall fantasy production? Most of the reason why people say defense doesn’t matter is because the way we measure defense is pretty terrible, and until we can measure true talent defense much better, the appearance of being a good or bad defense is super noisy and the amount of signal there is very very low. And in terms of how to predict the production for fantasy, teams vary what they do (and some teams do this randomly and are bad at it), and you would need to know what their scheme is and what player(s) they plan to exploit, and then the adjustments on the initial game plan come into play. If you have that information, first, please share it with me, and second, you’d probably be able to obliterate DFS (and Vegas, for that matter). But if you have that information, you’re not reading this article right now. So for those of you without it – let’s attack this slate with what we do know – namely, #NeverRun, offenses score points when they throw a lot, and one of the only ways we legitimately do see defenses mattering is in pass rush versus protection – it’s hard to score points when you’re being thrown down to the ground before you can throw a pass. 

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While it is true that you cannot spell ‘elite’ without ‘eli’, we all know that Eli Manning is NOT elite. That was just atrocious to watch on a Thursday night. Pat Shurmur looked like he was going to kill somebody when Eli kept checking down to RB’s. But let’s move away from that atrocity of a game and focus on 4 games with some big fantasy implications this week…

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I’m going to take this moment to point out that the Rams and Chiefs are putting up bonkers-level offensive stats by throwing early and often, aggressively utilizing #AirRaid principles to get big plays on any down. It’s beautiful to watch. Meanwhile, the Raiders have committed $100 million guaranteed to a coach who laments the death of the fullback and is publically willing to talk about how he enjoys watching Wisconsin smash-mouth football (I’m not kidding – “I sit down and watch Wisconsin, and I feel like I’m breathing fresh air again”). Jared Goff and Patrick Mahomes are shattering records and he wants to watch Wisconsin pound some 220 pound Ron Dayne wannabee up the middle for 4 yards a carry, 40 times a game.

Please, blog, may I have some more?