Welcome! Welcome! To an elite club, an exclusive group, of individuals whose fantasy football skills reign supreme over their peers. Now is the time to showcase your prowess and claim your seat on the pigskin throne. Let us put fear in the eyes of our enemies as we encounter our first foe in our championship quest.

Today I cover my take on the multiple running back handcuffs that will see starting duties this weekend. Unfortunately, as we enter the first round of the playoffs, we are down a few heavy hitters, that have carried us to this point. James Conner, Kareem Hunt, Melvin Gordon, and Matt Breida are a few of the studs that will be missed. If you have followed along all season then you have built your bench depth adequately to compete for a championship. Hopefully, some of these players below can come to our rescue.

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Have you ever seen Ditka and Jesus in the same place at the same time? Just think about it.

Week 13 is in the books and most listeners are gearing up for week 14 playoff match ups or crying in a dark corner. In honor of playoffs eve, B_Don and Donkey breakdown two Jacksons who may have the potential to lead teams to everlasting fantasy glory: Justin Jackson and Lamar Jackson. Find out if they’re fantasy gold or fool’s gold.

Between the profiles your hosts dig up the dirty buried lede and discuss the Kareem Hunt bombshell news and expectations for his future in the NFL. Kareem’s also one of several A-holes of the week. The show is wrapped up with an in-depth discussion revisiting the dynasty valuation of the rookie QB class. Put the sausage in your earhole now:

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Well dear readers, let’s just get right to the good stuff today.

QB

Ryan Fitzpatrick, $7,600 – “Bucs QB” would be worth playing since you wouldn’t have to deal with the possible benching. Ryan Fitzpatrick, on his own, carries some risk of being benched. But that risk is entirely outweighed by the fact that he’s the starting QB in Air Monken. And Air Monken throws a lot. And volume is king.  

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The baseball article I write during the baseball season has a section “Doing Lines In Vegas” but here in NFL season, we’re “Doing Lines With cinthree.” If anyone is willing bet me that Nathan Peterman will outscore the Chicago Bears defense in fantasy points tomorrow, I will take that bet. Peterman’s not going to break 10 and the Bears are probably putting up 12-15 (which makes them a bad play in DFS).

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We finally have a decision on Todd Gurley. He’s been an absolute stone cold mortal lock so far this season given that he’s been under $10K for most of the season and was only $10.2K last week – an insanely cheap price given the team he plays for and the role he has on it (namely, that once the Rams get into the red zone, something they do with insane frequency, they just give it to Gurley and let him run it in, and also, they’re the best team in football so they have a big lead late and let Gurley get all the kill-clock yards in the 4th quarter). FanDuel finally jacked his price up to something like $1,000,000,000 (note – it may just be $11,000, as I may be exaggerating for comedic effect). Now it becomes a decision. He’s still an absolute monster. But is he worth it? Ultimately it’ll come down to how comfortable you are with the value that you’ll need to play to roster him. And if you’re unsure on who to play, check out Rudy’s projections here at Razzball!

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Welcome to the start of 2018 NFL DFS season. You’re probably familiar with Donkeycorns, the wandering mythical creature who rewards your trust with a path through the desert, from the MLB Closer Report. In DFS A Donkey is someone that does foolish things. When it comes to daily fantasy, we’re all Donkeys sometimes. I’m your DFS Donkeycorn. Follow me through the fantasy desert.

Did you use Rudy’s Tools for the MLB season? You probably enjoyed success if you did. The biggest advantage a model gives you is its consistency. It doesn’t have biases. It won’t get mad at Julio Jones for not scoring touchdowns, despite the natural variability of NFL TD scoring. I recently asked Rudy how difficult it would be to start my own model. His response was, considering I have over 1,000 hours sunk into mine this off-season, not very. So get the 7-day free trial, pay for the season once that ends, and be glad Rudy exists to grind away at a projection system so you don’t have to. I’ll focus on the Sunday main slate using Fanduel pricing below.

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The Sausage Fest gets extra meaty this week as the boys are joined by numbers guru and co-founder of Razzball, Rudy Gamble. Listen in as Rudy regales B_Don and DT with tales of the creation of Razzball and then attempts to crush Donkey Teeth’s Tarik Cohen hopes and Kerryon Johnson dreams.

Of course the guys also had to grill Gamble regarding the fantasy outlook for all Da Bears offensive players in 2018. Other topics of conversation in this week’s show include the process of projecting football statistics, snake and auction draft strategy, Lamar Miller, Peyton Barber and much more.

Sign up for a free 7 day trial of Rudy’s incredible premium football tools here.

Follow everyone on this episode on Twitter @RudyGamble, @DitkaSausagePod, and @DonkeyTeeth87.

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Throughout August, I am going to be breaking down 2018 Fantasy Football drafts by round. Not to sound like captain obvious here, but the first round is the most important round. Back when I used to read Matthew Berry religiously, he would always emphasize that you can’t win a fantasy football league in the first round, but you can definitely lose it. The injury stuff is just dumb luck, so it’s hard to kick yourself if you drafted David Johnson last year. It was the right move. In leagues where I was picked first last year, I took David Johnson and I would do it again 100 times out of 100. Anyone can get hurt at any time.

Reid wrote a piece about the back end of the first round that you will enjoy as well.

I’m going to break down the first round in four sets of tiers. I’m going to use the 12 team format. We will have the 1-3, 4-6, 7-9, and 10-12 tiers. I’m simply going to tell you about the player that I like the most in this tier and why. Some of you aren’t going to agree and that is what the comment section is for. If you have checked out my rankings, most of this won’t be a surprise to you but it is a chance to go more in depth.

Be sure to check out my PPR and Standard Rankings if you haven’t already!

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I am back from my football blogging sabbatical and ready for the off season. I have no interest in this crumby Super Bowl, so I’m ready to dive right into the offseason. What better way to start than to review the 2017 season? There could have been stuff that you missed, you never know. Maybe something that you read in this will stick in your brain until your draft season in August. Will you remember which article you read it from? Probably not, It’s January.

I’m surprised you even clicked on this, you must be bored. What you will probably remember from my posts when your drafts roll around in August is my grotesque misunderstanding of English grammar. I’ll probably over use some commas, or not use enough commas. Do they teach 6th grade grammar at the local community college? Better yet, maybe you would prefer that I disperse of fantasy football knowledge through the use of emojis. That would be edgy, and no one has done it yet! (Simpsons did it!) Alright stop. I’m going to go through the quarterbacks, running backs, wide receivers, and tight ends to let you know what stuck out to me this season. Today, let’s start with the quarterbacks and running backs.

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