Happy Thanksgiving fantasy football addicts! Set your lineups, make a plate, and enjoy the 3 divisional match-ups. I understand the whole family meal thing, but part of family is ignoring everyone and shoving mounds of food down your gullet while watching a bad Lions team and the Cowboys.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every third Thursday of November my herd gets together and we jam out to a variety of classic Michael Jackson tunes. My brother, Donkey Breath, can’t get enough Thriller; Pretty cliché, right? I’m always telling Breath he needs to dig a little further into The King of Pop’s repertoire. I myself prefer The Gloved One’s early years with The Jackson 5.

Jermaine, Jackie, Tito, Michael and their lesser known youngest brother, Lamar, composed some of the most dulcet melodies you’ll ever hear. Little Lamar couldn’t sing worth a donkey lick, but boy could he run! Many years later, the very same Lamar Jackson, who was definitely a member of the Jackson 5, has now been given the reigns to the Baltimore Ravens offense. Lamar has game changing speed and will be a threat to run for 100+ yards in every game. Add him immediately in all leagues if for no other reason than to keep him away from your opponents. Anyway, here’s some other players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finally Election Day is upon us! And I know exactly what you’re thinking: Donkey, how can I vote Marquez Valdes-Scantling onto my fantasy team when 7 different commercials just exposed him as the rape-loving, baby-murdering, puppy-hating heathen he is? 

Fortunately for Marquez, his only opposition is Chief Geronimo Allison who’s also a rape-loving, baby-murdering, puppy-hating heathen. Geronimo also happens to fund terrorism and will miss at least 6 weeks due to core surgery. MVS is yet another in a long line of rookie wide receivers I’m recommending. He has a top QB and a clear path to targets; mark him down as a must-add in all leagues and call him a WR3 for the time being. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adam Humphries, 2.7%, vs WSH: I told you to grab him after week 9 — you only have yourself to blame! This is now the third week in a row where Humphries was second to Mike Evans in targets, however Evans and Humphries couldn’t have had two different days. Humphries was the second-highest scoring WR in the league while Evans only hauled in 1 of his 10 targets for 16 yards…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seriously. I could not wait for Monday Night Football just to listen to the absolute nonsense from Jason Witten and Booger McFarland, the latter of which should be prepared for someone in the crowd to black out and see a table on top of the #BoogerMobile. But despite that disaster of a football game taking place, let’s look back at at some of the action from Sunday’s games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?