That’s right, I am right smack-dab in the middle of a November blizzard. So far, I have shoveled the driveway twice today and it’s probably going to happen a third time. I can’t stress enough how depressing this is considering it was over 50 degrees on Thanksgiving. The terrible thing about being an adult is in the manufacturing industry I don’t think that they have snow days. At least, I have never heard of it. I upgraded my car situation last summer, so that excuse is out the window too. It’s now in the middle of the second quarter of the night game when I am finally getting a chance to start this so I am most likely going to keep it pretty short. 

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Welcome to Propageddon, readers new and old. Last week we finally had a reader beat the touts. With an 8, reader Biz outscored the field, while Russ Prentice (@Russ1Prentice) was the best scoring tout at 7. This is what happens with poor voter turnout people. The terrorists win. Or something. I know it’s bad.

This week we have a legitimate prize. Rudy has offered up a subscription to his NFL Tools for the rest of the season to the winning reader. To be entered into the running you must complete the survey, include your email address, and get the most correct. The smart thing to do would be to go and get the free trial, then use the tools to dominate the props. It’s the equivalent of asking the genie for more wishes. So dig in with THIS WEEK’S PROPS. Here are some of the more interesting tout side results.

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Sorry about missing last week! I highly doubt anyone was refreshing their browsers to see the week’s fantasy deep dive, but, nonetheless I am back. As we move toward fantasy playoffs and the seeding starts to shake out, this is a critical point for your fantasy teams. Fantasy Trade deadlines are fast approaching, while some may have already passed. Let’s take a look at some studs and duds you can take advantage of in your trade negotiations.

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I’m bored with reviewing five or six games per week. I feel suffocated, you know? Why keep me tied down to just writing about half of Sunday’s games? It’s my Monday column, why not bring the realness. Like Marky Mark says in The Other Guys, “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!” I want to go position by position and see how it flows.

So what are two fun categories to correctly identify each? Well, ‘Stars’ is easy. It’s clear and to the point. What could possibly categorize something so blind-siding and awful that it sucks the life right out of your fantasy team that stays with the astrology theme? There has to be something that’s, let’s say, related to the misery of being a Raiders fan. There literally can’t be anything worse. I’ve got it. Black holes. Now that we have that covered, let’s start with quarterbacks…

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I apologize for not being able to write an Ambulance Chasers last week — I was questionable going into Wednesday when I write this article, but it quickly turned to doubtful as the day went on. I tried going to my big boy job, but had to leave early Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I’m unfortunately and nerdily allergic to cough/cold medicines so every time I get sick it hits really hard and I just have to ride it out.

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That is how I envision Nathan Peterman going out on Sunday will look like. It’s an embarrassment to football and modern civilization that he continues to get opportunities to start games in the National Football League. Where we all saw Nick Mullens last night destroy a Raiders team that is actually an abomination, it will be a real contest to see if Peterman can do worse. Let’s look at some of the key games for fantasy this week…

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What’s going on everyone, and welcome to the eighth week of the 2018 NFL season! I hope you guys all had a great Week 8 thanks to some awesome performances from James Conner, Deshaun Watson, Cam Newton, Todd Gurley, Marlon Mack, Mike Evans, Adrian Peterson, Marvin Jones, and Sammy Watkins (of all people!)

Below are my rankings for Week 9, for all scoring systems, so enjoy!

And like always, be sure to check out Rudy’s fantastic premium tools here, and follow myselfMB, and Jay on Twitter.

In the meantime, I’ll be back on Saturday for the ninth edition of my 2018 Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em series!

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Readers, I am a hot little potato this morning. I decided to dabble in a little offshore gambling this past weekend as I sometimes do. You know what? My day was going pretty well. The Panthers covered in a pretty worry-free affair. The Cardinals marched down and scored a game winning touchdown on the final drive. I’m sitting at 2-0 thinking that there is no way that I am getting to 3-0 because I laid 7.5 points and took the Rams. All of a sudden, the Packers fumble the kick off with two minutes to go in the fourth quarter. I have life! The Rams have the ball at the 20 and the best running back in football. The Packers best chance of getting the ball back is letting Gurley walk in the end zone and hope for a missed extra point. 

The first two plays were dumb reverses and now all of a sudden, it is 3rd down with just under a minute to go. The Rams snap it and toss the ball to Todd Gurley with blockers ahead of him. Gurley busts through the first ten yards, the play is looking good. Gurley is outrunning everybody and has a clear path to the end zone that he makes 10 out of 10 times. He stops. Right at the damn 5 or so yard line. My heart sinks. It’s the smartest football play he could’ve made. But C’MON GURLEY! Pad those stats and pad my wallet in the process. Team players aren’t good for fantasy or gambling, folks. I’ll take my fury out on these game review takes. 

Be sure to check out our most popular tool, the trade analyzer. You like to trade? Rudy would love to help! It’s free, comprehensive, and simple to use. 

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Is it not the most awkward damn trolley you’ve ever seen? That it will be on display in Buffalo of all places with a decent chance of vandalism in the forecast for it only makes me more excited for the Pats blowout of the Bills on MNF. While Booger rails against logic and analytics throughout the broadcast and Jason Witten bumbles through introductory 3rd grade math, there is a non-0% chance a member of the #BillsMafia will make a leap of faith from the stands onto the #BoogerMobile. But before that game takes place, there are a couple from the Sunday slate that are worth looking at.

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I have witnessed one of the worst overtime games that I have ever seen. There was an interception, a fumbled punt, and a coach that doesn’t know the overtime rules. Jameis Winston threw an interception in Tampa Bay territory leaving the Browns with only about 15 yards to gain to give them a shot at a game-winning field goal. Tampa Bay held strong on defense and forced a punt. Jameis Winston then puts together a terrible 3 and out. Tampa punts the ball and strips Jabrill Peppers leaving the Buccaneers with the ball right around mid field. Jameis is able to complete a pass to DeSean Jackson to get inside the 40 setting up a 59-yard field goal attempt from a kicker who previously missed an extra point and a 40 yard field goal to win the game in regulation. One would think the Buccaneers coaching staff would go for it on 4th and long because the chances of Catanzaro making this kick are slim to none. NO! KICK IT! They did… He made it… What is life? Let’s get to some individual player tidbits from that dumb game.

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