For this week’s article I am going to try something new. Let’s get a conversation going on a topic that’s DFS-related but not particularly substantive (and thus probably won’t be the topic of discussion anywhere else). Is it a good thing that the Rams/Chiefs game won’t be on the main slate? I’m not talking about the general point about the value of having the MNF game on the slate (as they used to do a few years ago), rather, just specifically the Rams/Chiefs game, which has the highest total since 1986 and would have had numerous guys who would have been main cogs of your lineup had the game been on the slate (Gurley, at his slightly lowered price of $10,600, and Tyreek Hill at $7,900 would have been two monster plays, Kelce at $7,800, Woods at $7,500, and Cooks at $7,800 would have been expensive pieces but reasonable plays, Josh Reynolds at $5,000 would have been an interesting punt, and while Patrick Mahomes at $9,500 may have been priced out of viability, Jared Goff at $8,300 would certainly be in the conversation). So, what say you, my loyal readers? Feel free to post as to whether you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing that the Rams/Chiefs game isn’t on the slate (or if you think it’s good for cash games, bad for GPPs, or vice versa, that’s certainly an interesting take too). I’d love to hear everyone’s opinion on this…

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“Alexa, what’s the weather like in Buffalo?” “Look outside moron.”

The great leader has spoken and global warming has been confirmed a hoax. I mean, with this much cold weather, how can the Earth be warming? It’s like, if the ice is melting, just get out the bourbon and more ice and enjoy the free air conditioning, maaaan. And if it is snow (prove it!), that’s fine too. I mean, if we can’t have the Game of Thrones premier until next summer, then lets bring it right to Buffalo, am I right? It just makes so much sense, kinda like how Ian Eagle should do play-by-play for porn. But if it isn’t snow (believe it!), we must accept that it’s either massive amounts of cocaine (settle down Michael Irvin, settle down) or the salt of dried tears from all the Julio Jones and Melvin Gordon owners out there. It’s okay, it’s totally normal to end your Fantasy Season like this. I read that on Facebook, the bastion of legitimate news, so I know it’s true. But don’t worry, if you’re looking for a distraction in a post-fantasy football world, or you need something to do the next four years, keep in mind that anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough…

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Well, on a day where Jim Nantz called a pregame 9/11 memorial a 9/11 celebration, there really isn’t anywhere to go other than down… Or maybe I’m just talking in the context of the Chargers. And yes, I think I’ve written this before, but as one of the few Chargers fans in the industry (there are dozes of us, dozens!), I actually try really hard not to wax poetic about this team, an anti-bias if you will. (Except for Philip Rivers, he’s a flower.) Though, it could also be because injuries and disappointment have been a yearly routine for the Chargers, so plugging in a fork is probably more preferable than writing about them. Regardless, I only try to focus on them when it is absolutely necessary, because, believe me, I’d rather not write about how they lost yesterday despite having a 24-point lead at the half, nor would I want to mention that the Chiefs had the biggest comeback in franchise history, especially since both of those things would probably put someone like myself on suicide watch… But I do probably need to discuss Keenan Allen‘s non-contact knee injury that occurred before the half, which required a cart and hospital visit. It has now been confirmed to be an ACL tear, and based on my extensive health knowledge and degree in orthopedics (haha, my mother wishes!), I can come to the determination that this is bad. Like, season-ending bad. Also, knees continue to be a weak point in human anatomy. Also possibly groins. And this will not only cause ripple effects in football, but fantasy football as well. I think it’s fair to assume that Allen will be out the rest of the year, and here’s who will be affected positively by it: Travis Benjamin, Tyrell Williams, and Dontrelle Inman. To a lesser extent? Antonio Gates and Danny Woodhead. Here’s who will be affected negatively by it: My liver.

We’ll go over it a bit more along with all the other news and notes from yesterdays games after the jump…

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Greetings! To both my loyal subjects and sacrilegious haters, I humbly welcome you my life; ‘Tis true, my life revolves around the fascinating world of fantasy sports, but it’s so much deeper than that. Here, at the world’s finest fantasy sports website, Razzball, I’m able to share with you lessons of love and ecstasy, tales of heartbreak and betrayal, and possibly even some insight as to why Richard Gere enjoyed gerbils up his rectum. I cannot lie to you, my goodmen, my life is in absolute shambles right now. I cannot remember a time I felt so overwhelmed, yet I shall rise up and do my lordly duty, for I, Lord Beddict, am meant for greatness in some form or another and I shan’t be denied. WITNESS!

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

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Welcome back to this week’s “Depp Impact”, where we analyze famous Johnny Depp cameos and how they affected the films he appeared in. Let’s start with 21 Jump Street, a surprisingly funny romp in which Depp, wearing more prosthetics than an amputee convention, joined Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this will instead be another Deep Impact, our weekly look at those options deep league players should be targeting. We’re entering the stretch run for drafting, so let’s take another look at some players you should be looking to scoop up in the last rounds before Week 1.

Hey speaking of drafts, there are still some spots left in our RCLs! Get in there quick before it fills up, so you can all compete for second place to yours truly. Now that the shameless plug is out of the way, let’s get to some names. Keeping with last week’s format, we’ll look at guys currently going after pick 180. If you’re only playing 10- or 12-team leagues, these players are at best people you should keep an eye out on. I caught flak in some corners of the internet last week for mentioning Jay Cutler’s name because mouthbreathers struggle with reading comprehension, and didn’t understand that if you’re late in the draft of a deep league, there is at least one glaring flaw causing these guys to be available…

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What’s up fans of American Football!? It’s your good buddy Honcho back to walk you through the AFC North. Yuck. That was my first reaction when I was assigned this division. I mean, can you think of four teams that deserve each other more than this group of franchise swapping,  Super Bowl gloating, bad chili pushing tough-guy wannabees? Yeah, me either. This division is tough to love. I mean truly it is. But I’m here to give you the tour so let’s proceed.

Our first objective is to identify the participants. Let’s start with the Cleveland Browns. Okay, cool. So you’re feeling good about the NBA season, but guess what LeBron’s not under center…..And that’s probably a bad thing. They hired a baseball analytics specialist to ruin –  errrrr I mean run things. The Dodgers thought so little of him they ran him out-of-town. What could possibly go wrong? So here’s the thing…I think they’re on the right track, accumulating draft picks and athletes – but this isn’t the year. Heading south, but still staying in Ohio we find the Cincinnati Bengals who have a better than average team, but just can’t win a playoff game. They’ll give it another shot this season and will probably challenge the Steelers for the top spot in the division. Speaking of the Steelers….Is there a more insufferable fan base in football? I’ve been to Pittsburgh more than a few times and you know what? Every Steelers’ fan looks the same. How is that possible? The jorts say it’s summer, the tucked in jersey says it’s football season, but the waistline says you gave up a long time ago. Ha! Just kidding Pittsburgh, I love your city! Mostly due to Primanti Brothers but hey, gotta start somewhere, right? This year you’re the team to beat in the North. Don’t mess this up. Finally we have the Ravens. Flacco’s back. That’s good. They signed Trent Richardson and then proceeded to release him shortly after. He didn’t even stick around to try Ray-Ray’s famous “Deer-Antler” spray. That was rude. Anyway, the Ravens are staring 8-8 right in the face, but if any team can luck box their way into the playoffs it’s this bunch.

So, with all that said the fantasy relevant information awaits. Per usual, I’ll list the teams in order of predicted finish. Here we go!

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Hi everyone! Welcome to “Imp Acts Deep”, our new recurring piece breaking down my favorite Tyrion Lannister scenes in Game of Thrones. Let’s throw it back to Season 1 for some of Peter Dinklage’s most serious… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed the series is actually called Deep Impact. We’ll be taking a look at options for those of you who play deeper formats, have large benches, or maybe just want to live life on the wild side even in a shallow league. During the season, we’ll scrape the bottom of the barrel for good starts that may be sitting on the wire even in 16-teamers. There they are, perfectly good starts that everyone is just wasting. Don’t you know that there are hungry fantasy football players in China that would LOVE to have these starts you just throw away?

As you’re aware though, we are still in preseason mode, so we’ll start this series by targeting some late round gambles in drafts that can pay big dividends. We’ll be looking specifically at names currently going after pick 180, long after your standard format players have ended their drafts at Hooters, polished off their Bud Lights and gone home disappointed that none of the waitresses seemed to truly appreciate their unwanted advances. This is for serious players only, if you’re not really about that life please stop reading. I’ll wait. Dave, I see that you’re still reading this, please stop… Alright, now that Dave is finally gone, let’s dive in.

Want to take on Razzball writers and contributors in the great game of Fantasy Football? For Prizes? OH MY GOD YES. Where do you sign up? Great question! (Even though you didn’t technically ask. I mean, you might have, but I couldn’t hear you…) You can join here!

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Both Jared and RG-3 have been taken out. If I were Justin Tuck, I'd be worried...

Both Jared and RG-3 have fallen. If I were Justin Tuck, I’d be worried…

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Okay. Not really. And so it was, and so it shall be, which was proclaimed long ago when the Washington Football Team traded what would be Janoris Jenkins, Michael Brockers, Zac Stacy, Stedman Bailey, Greg Robinson, and Alec Ogletree for Robert Griffin III, and then a few days later, drafted his eventual successor in Kirk Cousins. Bible-speech aside, I have to say, maybe Mike Shannahan and company might have been better off just waiting, you know, until their sixth pick and drafting Ryan Tannehill. Sure, hindsight has that amazing 20/20 vision, but as I mentioned in yesterday’s podcast, this quarterback excursion seemed doomed to fail, even as far back to that aforementioned day when both RG-3 and Kirk Cousins were drafted. Obviously, the situation was exacerbated over time by injuries, stunted development, complete coaching failures, further coaching changes, system changes, ownership dysfunction, etc. etc. And this is a normal Monday for the franchise. So here we are and Kirk Cousins is now your Week 1 Starter in Washington. I would go on to establish some fantasy context, but I’m not sure there is any. Just further proof that Washington has now eclipsed the Raiders at being the Raiders. Truly… these are dark days in the District.

In case you guys haven’t noticed, Fantasy Basketball is warming up once again, and our RCLs are open! If you’d like to go keep J.B. Gilpin company for a bit, I ain’t gonna blame you. Afterall, I’m busy keeping his mom company…

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Greetings! Forgive me I’m not up to date on current sporting events, for Twitter, whom I fully depend on for all news and information, locked my account for a solid 24 hours! Any Quarterbacks get hurt? Did the Bills announce a starter? My life is meaningless without Twitter and the Elder Gods are known to punish me from time to time, usually when I’m riding high, basking in the glory of some incredible accomplishment, like the time I demoralized the Hilton sisters in a game of naked Twister. By demoralized, I mean that I gave both of them the profound type of hickory sticking that would make even the great Ray-J smile upon me like a proud father. Matter of fact, he was there filming it. Sorry, I’m rambling again, reminiscing about the heroic years that were my youth. But seriously, I haven’t been without Twitter for this long since the last time Sky locked me in his basement. Yes, Sky, I know: It puts the lotion on the skin!

Let’s talk quarterbacks, shall we? I am Tehol Beddict, and this is, Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

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There was some more preseason football to be played this past Saturday, including news that Philip Rivers will be having at least eight more children in the San Diego area spread out over the next four years. That is, of course, based on his average of having five kids per month, but I should note that my math has a history of being a tad off. But, hey, remember when he was getting traded to the Titans for sure? While the signing itself is, well, a good sign for the Chargers on the field, I’m not sure if this has any bearing on impending the stadium situation that is falling wayside, straight into the dumpster (and I mean the actual deal, not them moving to Carson, which I know can be confusing as both are pretty much dumpster fires) Other than that, we had the debut of Jameis Winston, some quality trolling by Chip Kelly on which quarterback is starting in Week 1, and other football happenings. So let’s get started…

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