The 2020 NFL Draft Combine has come and gone. Here’s what we learned: Henry Ruggs isn’t slow, two large trees were killed in the making of A.J. Dillon’s legs, Jonathan Taylor is THE MAN, and eight large deep dish pizzas (Pequods-only) in three days is too much for any one donkey. So now what? First, I’ll probably need to go to the gym to work off these 30 extra combine-pizza-pounds. But you’re here for fantasy football discussion, not updates on Donkey’s rapidly deteriorating physical and mental health. Well, our 2020 Dynasty and Rookie Rankings are now being populated and updated frequently, and B_Don is plowing thru the film on his 2020 NFL Draft Previews. I went over my top 20 and top 40 dynasty running backs last week and made a couple minor post-combine tweaks once the dust settled (insert Jonathan Taylor eggplant emoji). Anyway, here’s my top 60 running backs for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Disclaimer: If you’re sensitive to ridiculously high rankings of Kerryon Johnson, don’t scroll too far. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Have you stocked up on disposable N-95 masks, canned goods and lotion yet? Oh, you don’t think you’ll need a stockpile of lotion for what’s coming? Once I’m in self-quarantine, here’s how I picture my daily routine:

12:00 AM – 6:00 AM: Dream About Kerryon Johnson MVP season(s)

6:00 AM – 9:00 AM: Eat Pancakes 

9:00 AM – 12:00 AM: Rosterbate to my Dynasty Teams 

Needless to say, my lotion supply is locked and loaded. Speaking of locked and loaded, check out all of our 2020 Fantasy Football Dynasty and Rookie Rankings! I went over my top 20 dynasty running backs (full list at bottom of this post) earlier this week between visits to the lotion dealer; yes, I’m still irrationally high on Kerryon Johnson and crystal meth. Anyway, here’s my top 40 running backs for 2020 PPR dynasty football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now that I’ve given you my Top 25, Top 50 and Top 75 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football, I’ll elaborate a little more on my general dynasty football philosophy. If you gathered some of the stale bread crumbs I left in the first three segments, you may have understood my philosophy to be one part L. Ron Hubbard, one part Antonio Brown and two parts Gordon Gekko. As the great Gekko once said, “I hate hockey and I don’t like kids.” Hmmm I think that’s the wrong quote from the Book of Gordon Quotes I got for Kwanzaa. That one may have been Gordon Bombay.

But getting back to the Gekko philosophy, I tend to look at my dynasty teams like investment portfolios. I tie my capital up in stable assets with upside—both at the draft and in season. This means I tend to fade the running back position. By nature, running backs aren’t stable due to the physical toll their work takes on the body and their greater dependence on offensive schemes, as well as the supporting cast around them.

Of course you won’t be winning your fantasy championship without at least a couple good RBs, so I focus the back end of my portfolio on a handful of growth or even penny stock backs with a chance to skyrocket into Phillip Lindsay or Raheem Mostert types. All of that said, there isn’t one ‘right way’ to invest. So acquire the players you believe in, build around them, and stay flexible in your views. Anyway, here’s my top 100 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After the NFL Scouting Combine this past year, much was made of D.K. Metcalf’s rippling muscles. My boss was talking up the Ole Miss product’s biceps. My girlfriend was enamored with his bustling chest. Even Momma-Donk called to ask about D.K.’s glutes. But what nobody talked about were his bulging calves. That is until week 9, when the Buccaneers defense was hypnotized by Metcalf’s leg beef.

The entire Seahawks offense took full advantage of this calf-muscle-induced hypnosis with Russell Wilson going 29/43 for 378 yards and 5 touchdowns—he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the season—Tyler Lockett snagged 13 catches for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 6 touchdowns on the season—and the sexy calved beast himself, D.K. Metcalf, hauled in 6 catches for 153 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Buccaneer defense will attempt to snap out of the trance before gazing into Kyler Murray’s sparkling eyes next week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Remember when in-season trades never happened in the NFL? That was so, so, so long ago. This season we have had several notable players moved ranging from all-pro defensive backs to noted aerospace engineers (Josh Dobbs). However, the trade of Emmanuel Sanders has opened the opportunity for Courtland Sutton to continue his rise to fantasy glory. Sutton had already made a second-year jump prior to the trade and is currently sitting as the WR12 in half-PPR leagues. Sutton’s metrics support his rise to prominence with his player profiler athletic comparison being Alshon Jeffrey. He is 9th in weighted opportunities, top 20 in air yards, and top 20 in targets per game. His quarterback already stinks out loud so any mid-season change to a rookie, if Drew Lock were to get healthy, should have a minimal effect on his rest of season play. Expect the Denver Broncos to remain generally pesky as they fulfill a 5-6 win team destiny, and their air game to funnel through Courtland Sutton for the remainder of the 2019 season.

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The biggest story line coming out of Thursday night will be Patrick Mahomes’ knee. From the sounds of it as I write this, there isn’t a fracture to go along with the dislocated kneecap so that is not the worst news in the world if you depend on Mahomes in fantasy football.

I’ve started writing this at the end of the 3rd quarter. At this point the Broncos are lifeless and Flacco has been sacked 7 times. Nevermind, now it’s 8. Flacco is a corpse out there with zero mobility and the offensive line is not doing him any favors.

I saw this game going quite a bit differently. I thought that Denver had all of the momentum coming into this game off of two straight wins and KC with two straight losses. These teams were playing on 4 days rest and Denver’s roster was a lot healthier coming into the game. Kansas City can’t stop the run and coming into the game, they only had 11 sacks on the season. It turns out that this Denver offense is completely lethargic and unprepared.

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The entire Jets offense was giddy when Sam Darnold strolled into the locker-room Sunday carrying his vintage Coca-Cola bottle. After four weeks of quarantine with the kissing disease, Darnold was ready to play games with his favorite group of guys. First, the young QB locked eyes with Robby Anderson (5 catches for 125 yards and his 1st touchdown) for a juicy 92 yard score. Next he played touch and squeeze with Ryan Griffin (3 catches for 28 yards and his 1st touchdown). Even Le’Veon Bell (14 carries for 50 yards and his 2nd touchdown) snuck into the circle and gave the bottle a twirl. Sammy Big D went 23/32 for 338 yards and 2 touchdowns in his triumphant return as the Jets upset the Cowboys. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?