We have reached the depths of the tub of ice cream. The “I was just leveling off the top” excuse is no longer legitimate (like it ever was). What remains is merely a mélange of candied toppings and molten cream. Take a deep breath, we are about to finish this off, the work we do may be messy, but it will be rewarding. I present to you, the final 40 Running Backs, ranked 81-120.

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Ah, week 14 — we are fully into the second trimester of making that fantasy football championship baby. Or something like that. Fantasy football is often called the imaginary sports management game where luck plays the biggest role — there are so few games and the season is over so quickly that even the best laid plans crash to the ground and never recover. Kind of like my idea for a Kentucky Fried Chicken cryptocurrency. ENYWHEY. If we were creating a life form, like some sort of quasi-intelligent football being named “Brad” that pumped nacho cheese through his veins and was born with a Chargers logo on his head, we’d be six weeks from calling Brad a viable embryo. Yet here we are, prepping for the fantasy football playoffs already. Sorry Brad — this whole season is gonna be wrapped up before you can show us that your nacho cheese-powered body is in the best shape of your nascent life and ready to play running back for the Seahawks. 

Let’s see if we can do anything to help your fantasy teams this week! 

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It is the final week of the regular season. Did your letter from Hogwarts arrive? Did a painted blue key mysteriously appear on your coffee table? I am trying to ask if you’ve made the playoffs. Well, I hope so and I hope this weekly column has assisted you along the way. With the playoffs just a week away, it is time to make secure decisions for your team. Handcuff those running backs and look past a single week outlook. The playoff semifinals and finals matchups should carry a great deal of weight with your waiver decisions, especially if you’ve already secured a bye.

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Sometimes you must know when to say goodbye. Sometimes we hold on for too long to something or someone who needs to go. Being in our lives gives us a sense of hope however false it may be. Whether you are bidding adieu to a reunited love on a tarmac, releasing your best friend back into the wild where they belong, or cutting Curtis Samuel about eight weeks later than most other fantasy managers: sometimes it is best to set them free. The playoffs are not far off and now is the time to start shaping those rosters for the tough journey ahead.

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Welcome to Week 10, ladies and gentlemen. 

We’ve reached a real impasse here over the halfway mark of the NFL season. Major stars are down, breakout players are rolling, and Mike White is a starting quarterback in the NFL. The draft wouldn’t be further behind us and our expectations have been subverted every step of the way. This is where winners are made and losers are born. 

Tuesday’s gone with the wind. And we’re coming up hard on Sunday morning. 

Anyway! The teams on bye this week are the Bears, Giants, Bengals, and Texans. See ya next week!

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Two weeks down, a whole bunch more to go folks! So don’t worry about being too overreactive when… Wait how many players are injured? This is just like week 2 last year? This is what happens when you shorten the preseason? Well, that changes things.

Maybe it is overreaction time, eh?

Here’s your weekly round-up of all those poor souls we’ve lost; all the hurting ankles, knees, toes, and groins (heh) you could ever ask for. Buckle up because this is a big one. 

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Well, my precious goblins and ghouls, the football season is finally upon us. And naturally, with that, I have the grave responsibility to inform you fine specimens of the injuries that can and will impact your Week 1 fantasy rosters. 

Such is life. 

Let’s jump in and see who might be available on your waiver or can receive a bump in production from the gaps left by these poor, hurt souls. 

Shall we? 

The first injury to look at is… *checks notes* Oh the entire Ravens backfield. That’s not good! In just a few days the Ravens have lost their breakout star J.K. Dobbins, Justice Hill, and the most recently Gus Edwards to terrible season-ending injuries. In response, the team has signed Latavius Murray along with Le’Veon Bell and Devonta Freeman to their practice squad presumably to try to keep Lamar from having to rush approximately 10,000,000 yards per game. As of now, it looks like the Ravens are going to start the last running back left standing before the leg injury bloodbath, Ty’Son Williams, who might just have an opportunity against an uncertain Raiders pass rush under new defensive coordinator Gus Bradley and a reshaped defense. Look for Latavius Murray and Ty’Son Williams as a possible pick-up in leagues you might have had one of the injured fellows in and if you are feeling very adventurous maybe take a look at Le’Veon Bell or Devonta Freeman for a possible bounce-back campaign. I’m still not betting on that though, sorry Blair

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Sleep now, if only for a minute. Dream of wavy grass, pinkish-purple clouds in the sky, and a nearby pine forest that’s yours to explore, if only the deer allow you. You’re moving past the first realms of waking life, where your consciousness is inundated with optimized modernity at every turn. Your black coffee, priced to perfection so Starbucks can open another shop in the busy streets of Somewhere. Your car, the engine valves greased with perfect viscosity so they can land a “green” rating in their miles per gallon despite the rare earth metals scattered throughout. You leave the optimum world, falling into the discontinuous, where you dwell soundly and peacefully. This is *your* place, where *you* live, when you’re within yourself. You look around, and there’s your family — biological or constructed or both — and your childhood pet (still alive and at their prime of health). This is your deepest self. You smile, watching the wavy grass and pinkish-purple clouds in the sky. As you approach the pine forest for a quiet reflective walk, you hear not the clack of antlers or the rustle of grass, but thumping noises. The earth shakes around you. You’re unsettled. The vision of your childhood pet accelerates temporally, and you’re at the vet on their last day. The earth moves, and you’re no longer with your family. It’s that bully from Junior High in your mind, the one that gave you swirlies on the daily. Then, emerging from the forest, a stampeding elephant charges to you. The dust is unsettled, the trees swaying as if in a hurricane. The trumpet of a mammalian orchestra, right in your face.

You awake. What a night! You grab your phone, and wouldn’t you know — you’re on the clock in draft after draft after draft. You load up Sleeper or Underdog or Draft Kings or NFC — it doesn’t really matter, does it? — and make your move to draft. ADP says you should draft yet another share of Courtland Sutton. Is that right? Is it optimal? What about that article you read about Devonta Smith — isn’t he a good option? But wait, Jalen Hurts might not be favored at QB. Maybe you’ll play it safe with Emmanuel Sanders — but what if he doesn’t get targets in the emergence of Gabriel Davis? 

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Over the last three seasons, the difference year to year between team’s production to the running back position is within five points per game roughly eighty percent of the time. In terms of improvement or deterioration to the position, unless drastic changes have been made to either on field or coaching personnel, the vulnerabilities or strengths do seem to carry over in most of the cases.

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Set the scene – you haven’t eaten all day and you’re really hungry. Youre going out to dinner with friends, and they decide to go to a Thai restaurant. You don’t usually choose Thai in your normal dinner rotation, but you’ve had it before and don’t hate it. You open the menu and see dishes with names that aren’t exactly familiar to you. Some of them don’t even look too appetizing. You have to choose between Som Tum, Tom Yum Goong, Gaeng Daeng and Pad Thai. Ah, Pad Thai! You’ve seen that name before. You think you may have had that once and you don’t remember if you liked it or not, but you think it was ok. Naturally, you order the Pad Thai and hope it works out for you. Well, the Thai menu is the New York Jets backfield, and the Pad Thai is Tevin Coleman.

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