Ah, yes. We’re almost there folks.

Homestretch! 

In these final days before the beginning of regular season football, let’s take inventory and hear those glorious hot takes that we thrive on in these waning days of the offseason. And who better to direct your vitriol at than the ragamuffins here at Razzball while we walk through their boldest, most hot-blooded predictions for the coming season.  

Let’s hear from 13 of your favorite very handsome fantasy writers, shall we? 

Skorish: Jameis Winston finishes the year in the top 5 in QB scoring.

This is a spicy one! What vexing devil thought this up!? Oh wait… It’s me 😈. If you’ve been around the last few weeks, you might have heard me wax poetic on the talents and potential of Famous Jameis and now that Sean Payton has rightfully given him the starting job, I don’t think he’s going anywhere. The biggest hurdle for Jameis is how Payton is going to gameplan in the Redzone and how his receiver core can handle his excellency but I have faith, dammit! 

Spice Meter: 8.5 out of 10

Ws Eaten: 18

Rudy Gamble:  At least three of the following 4 RBs will be more valuable on a per game basis than Ezekiel Elliott: Jonathan Taylor, Joe Mixon, Austin Ekeler, and Antonio Gibson.

 
Rudy and I see eye to eye here, I was close to my hot take being Antonio Gibson being RB1 in the NFC East nudging out Zeke, Saquon, and Miles Sanders. Ezekiel Elliott has been on my fade list for a while after his tepid 2020 and a serious regression on his fumbles that, if it rears its ugly head again while the Cowboys are playing decently, might just give an excuse to give up even more playing time to Tony Pollard. Not to mention the question of Dak’s health this year with his busted shoulder. I’m certainly not spending a 1st round pick on Zeke this year. 
 
Spice Meter: 7.5 out of 10
Zeke’s Arm Sleeves: Slippery

JB Barry: Ronald Jones rushes for over 1,000 yards and finishes as a top 15 RB.

This one is more reasonable than it may seem on the surface, while RoJo is being faded and his ADP has plummeted from the heights of 2020 he certainly has the potential to rush for over 1,000 yards and finish as a top 15 running back. Considering he almost did it last year in only 14 games with 978 rushing yards and finishing at the 15th spot in running back scoring, there is good reason to think he might be able to do it again if he stays healthy and keeps Leonard Fournette and the ghost of Gio Bernard at bay. RoJo was significantly more efficient last year than Fournette was, RoJo averaging 5.1 Yards-Per-Carry in 192 attempts to Fournette’s 3.8 Yards-Per-Carry in 97 attempts. Arians might just try to forget about Fournette’s playoff heroics and give RoJo the rock. 

Spice Meter: 6 out of 10

RoJo Rodeo Meter: 15

EverywhereBlair: Le’Veon Bell will finish as a top 25 running back in 2021.

Whoa boy! Blair isn’t messing around here, he’s throwing out scorchersPredicting a guy whose last solid season was in 2017 to finish in the top 25 running back scoring is pretty spicy but when that guy isn’t even on a team yet, sheesh! Does he theoretically have the talent to do it? Sure but we haven’t seen him really utilize it in a pretty long time since he was sitting out, trapped on the Jets, and sitting on the bench in Kansas City. This is what I’m talking about, baby!

Spice Meter: 10 out of 10

Teams Le’Veon Bell is Signed To: 0

Son: Tom Brady breaks Peyton Manning’s single-season yards and touchdowns record this season. I wrote here why I think it will be extremely difficult. But this is a bold predictions section so let’s get bold. It all comes down to motivation and if Brady and Arians decide to just F it and go for it, the weapons are there and the extra game is certainly helpful.

Son certainly understood the assignment here giving us a real historic bold prediction here. Son’s article is certainly worth a read, making a solid argument for Brady and Arians “hucking and chucking” to studs like Mike Evans, Chris Godwin, Rob Gronkowski, and OJ Howard (okay, not quite sure about OJ, Son but it’s a nice thought!). Brady is no stranger to scoring ridiculous amounts of tudders with him racking up a ridiculous 50 piece in 2007 but reality is… Tommy boy is 44 years old and if they want a chance to repeat he needs to be healthy and it’s hard to envision the organization letting Tom beat the brakes off himself to toss the rock into the endzone 56 times. But then again this is Tom Brady we’re talking about and if Tom Brady puts his mind to it, he might just make it happen. 

Also I can’t end this section here without thinking that if Tom read this he might just want to kiss his Son! Eh? Get it? 

Spice Meter: 9 out of 10

Son Smooches: Priceless

Coolwhip: Cole Beasley will be cut or traded and Emmanuel Sanders will have a top 25 WR season. Is that spicy enough?

I think that’s spicy enough! Beasley finished as the 30th ranked wide receiver behind Stefon Diggs in the pass-heavy offense in Buffalo and it’s not like Beasley is a transcendent athlete or anything, he was more or less in a solid situation and had the opportunity to produce. While Sanders is definitely past his 2014-2016 peak he can receive some serious volume if Beasley is cut or traded, which is very possibly on the table given Beasley’s outspoken opposition to the COVID-19 vaccine and he could end up being screwed by the league’s protocols right out of a job.

Spice Meter: 7 out of 10

Vaccine Diss Tracks: 1

Bobby LaMarco: Sterling Shepard, not Kenny Golladay, will be the best Giants WR for fantasy in 2021.

Picture this: You’re at the poop convention and everyone is crowded around one of the booths. “Wow, that’s the biggest poopie I’ve ever seen! That’s amazing!” 

Yes, that big stinky poopie is very impressive but unfortunately, it’s still crap. This is my stance on the Giants offense as a whole this year, there’s plenty of mouths to feed between Darius Slayton, Shepard, Golladay, Saquon Barkley, Kyle Rudolph, and whatever comes of Kadarius Toney but how much do you trust Daniel Jones and Joe Judge to truly maximize any of these guys? I have very little faith. 

Bobby has a good shot of being right here, however since Shepard might end up coming out in front of Toney and thriving off of softer coverage from opposing defenses opposite Golladay. But unfortunately the best Giants receiver is still a Giants receiver. 

Spice Meter: 6.5 out of 10

Poopie Conventions Attended So Far: 8

Steve Paulo: This is the year Deebo Samuel puts it together. In addition to doubling his career total of 90 receptions, he’ll lead all WRs in rushing yards.

It seems like the breakout of Brandon Aiyuk has sort of buried the last of the hype of Deebo that injury left uncovered. I remember the excitement Deebo brought following the 2019 draft and the solid season he put up with 802 yards in 57 receptions. That’s pretty dang efficient and his rushing stats reflect that too with 159 yards on only 14 attempts. That’s very efficient. I can see Deebo getting his reception total up to 90 and really balling out but the biggest hurdle to Steve’s prediction here might be the packed 49ers backfield that just might not give Deebo the opportunities he needs to lead WRs in rushing yards.

Spice Meter: 7.5 out of 10

Deebo Receptions: 90! 90! 90!

Ryan Kirksey: Terry McLaurin will be a top-6 WR in 2021 The gin has finally found its tonic as #McSoarin and Ryan Fitzpatrick should combine to form a pair that is refreshing and goes down smooth. Last season McLaurin’s catchable target rate was 77th in the league and his target quality ranked 118th with the three-headed monster of Alex Smith, Dwayne Haskins, and Kyle Allen throwing him the rock. This year, Fitzmagic arrives with his fifth-ranked catchable target rate and sends McLaurin to the moon.

Sickos

Now this is what I’m talking about, you might have seen me laying praise on the possibility of the Fitzmagic-McLaurin connection and I think Kirksey is on to something here. It’s hard to ignore just how terrible the WFT QB play was last year and even then McLaurin put up 1,100 yards. With a competent quarterback, he can shine. With Fitzmagic, he might just ball out. 

Spice Meter: 8 out of 10

Sicko Meter: Off the charts

Donkey TeethJonathan Taylor will lead the lead in rushing yards and rushing touchdowns on his way to finishing as the top scoring fantasy player in 2021.

I could get behind this one. JT is firmly in the RB1 spot with Marlon Mack possibly ending up a non-factor and Nyheim Hines not standing much of a chance for pushing JT for target share. It’s hard to see how JT doesn’t just eat unless Carson Wentz falls in love with Hines as the go-to passing back but even then Taylor isn’t a guy who needs to live and die by his receptions. And with the 2nd highest-rated offensive line and Quenton Nelson returning he has a shot to run away with the whole thing. Enjoy your winnings if you were one of the lucky folks who got Taylor at a discount when Wentz and Nelson looked to be out long-term.

Spice Meter: 5 out of 10

Donkey Teeth: 36–44 permanent teeth, with this variation due to the presence or absence of 1st premolars (‘wolf teeth’) or canines.

B_Don: Jerry Jeudy finishes the season as a top 15 WR. 

I’ve been public with my distrust of the Denver offense with Teddy Bridgewater or Drew Lock leading the brigade but if there is a guy I want from that offense it’s certainly Jeudy. Jeudy put up 856 yards on 52 receptions last year with a future insurance salesman tossing him the rock, only completing for 3 touchdowns. If one of the two stooges in the Denver quarterback room can play somewhat consistently, Jeudy might be able to maximize his targets and hopefully can get some tudders to return some serious value.  He’s got the talent for it, he just needs the guys behind center to make it happen. 

Spice Meter: 7 out of 10

Drew Lock’s Insurance Sales Commission Rate: 2%

Mike Alexander: Hunter Henry finds a way to play at least 15 games and leads the Patriots receivers in fantasy scoring.

Hunter Henry’s shoulder injury might be the main thing holding this prediction back. I think Mac Jones will have some real success in New England and we’ve seen TEs really eat in Belicheck’s offensive scheme but if Henry can stick around for 15 games then I’d say it’s in the realm of possibility. That is unless Nelson Agholor can respark some of the magic he bottled last year with the Raiders as a serious deep threat or if N’Keal Harry turns out to be a living, breathing football player. 

Spice Meter: 6.5 out of 10

Hunter Henry’s Shoulder Ligaments: Still to be found

Nate Marcum: Parris Campbell will finish as a Top 36 WR: Currently being drafted as the WR84 in 1/2 PPR, Campbell possesses elite-level athleticism and a slot attentive QB in Carson Wentz. With T.Y. Hilton expected to miss a majority of the season, the snap share and target share should be enough to double your investment. Last year Greg Ward finished as the WR55 with Wentz, and Campbell is twice the talent that Ward ever dreamt of.

Nate makes a compelling argument here, I was hoping T.Y. Hilton might make a real comeback but alas it looks like that’s not happening. Even with all the hype around Michael Pittman Jr., Parris Campbell might as well just stumble into a decent target share at the very least unless Zach Pascal takes a major step up (I’m not holding my breath on that). Campbell has a ton of potential but has been sidelined by injury for the majority of his career thus far, only showing us flashes of his athleticism but there’s little doubt that the guy can play with the best of them. With Wentz hopefully throwing the ball like the madman he is, Parris has the chance to step ahead of Pittman and finish in the top 36 for WRs. 

Spice Meter: 8 out of 10

Times I Ended Up On The Official Website of France Looking Up Parris Campbell’s Stats: 3

Nic Rome: Both Zach Ertz and Dallas Goedert finish as TE1. Apparently woke up with my Eagles hard-on 😅

Phew! This one burns! Unless Ertz all but converts to WR and leaves Goedert as a true TE, it’s a bit more than hard to see how this one works out unless they sent Ertz out of town. The closest the two have come to these heights is in 2019, with Ertz finishing 5th in TE scoring and Goedert finishing 10th. Ertz had a great season with 6 touchdowns and 900 yards while Goedert had 5 touchdowns and 607 yards, not a major gap but they certainly cannibalized each other and it’s hard to see anything else happening unless Ertz is shipped out of town. That is unless the rest of the receiving corps gets injured again or Nick Sirianni goes “sicko mode” and feeds his ends. I wouldn’t bet on it though.

Spice Meter: 9.5 out of 10

Times Nick Sirianni Has Gone “Sicko Mode” So Far: 0

 

You can find me on Twitter being bold and doing predictions at @skorishism. Be sure to let me know what you think in the comments below.