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On behalf of all of us at Razzball, let me start by wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving. Hopefully you enjoyed the day filled with family, food, and football. As it has been since 2006, we got 6 games on Thanksgiving including the traditional Cowboys and Lions games. The NFL laid these games out perfectly for us as we got a boring bread and butter appetizer game between Detroit and Chicago to kick off the day. After that, we were treated to the main course which was a Dallas and Las Vegas game that had an exciting second half and even went into overtime. The Thanksgiving slate finished with a sloppy pie a la mode game between Buffalo and New Orleans. Let’s recap the appetizer, main course, and dessert games.

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It was the middle of the night when the message woke me, it’s incessant buzzing threading the neurons in my brain. It said, Tom Brady’s gonna be useless, start Trevor Siemian today. With my mind on rankings and helping the Average Joe, Jose, and Josephine, I couldn’t fall back into the grasp of the Sandman. I had to tell the people. I had to tell them to run away from Matt Ryan and Baker Mayfield (“Why didn’t they listen to me on Baker?”), and instead ask my unfailing followers to go all in on Gabriel Davis. Wait, did I do that? [checks To Do List] Aww crap I told you to start everybody else. But on the plus side, we didn’t end up with the Bills losing in a battle of field goals, did we? Let’s check out what happened on Sunday for fantasy football: 

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One of my favorite movie theater experiences came during my freshman year in college at my local art house cinema. I had never seen a David Lynch film before but heard good things about him. All I really knew is he made Twin Peaks, a tv show with the most nightmare inducing theme song. In hindsight, maybe Mulholland Dr. was not the best foray into his catalog. While it is now one of my favorite films, I left the theater confused and doubting my own intelligence. I went back the next night and it started to become clearer. It was the first movie where the audience stayed around after and discussed “what it all meant.” Sometimes NFL weeks can feel a mess and make absolutely no sense. They hit you like a ton of bricks and require more than the usual analysis. This past week felt like one of those weeks, but through the madness and riddles, a few bright lights shone through all the way to the waiver wire.

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As Axl Rose once said:

And when your fears subside

And shadows still remain, oh yeah

I know that you can love me when there’s no one left to blame

So never mind the darkness, we still can find a way

‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain

We’re in the darkness right now as a football community. Confusion, injuries, controversy, and most strikingly, tragedy. We’re surrounded by it right now and this is already generally a tough spot in “normal” football seasons but it seems obvious this is anything but normal. This has been a real tough one with some big highs and some of the lowest lows in a long time. 

And it’s my job to help guide you, as a fantasy football player, through these lows to succeed at this game we all love. Is the senseless death of a young woman something I want to cover in what should be an entertaining run-over of your roster options for Sunday football? No, of course not but the dice have unfortunately been cast and this is how they’ve fallen and I’d be remiss to ignore the 2000 lb elephant in the room. I’m going to go from here on without some of the sentimentality and just talk football because frankly, as callous as it sounds, that’s what you’re here for and that’s what I get paid patented Razzball Fun Bucks™ (Redeemable at participating Razzball locations) to do. And who really wants to hear me pondering on these deep ethical and moral questions this week have brought about? I spent most of last week’s article talking about the Monster Mash for crying out loud. 

With that being said, let’s jump into it.

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We’ve officially passed the halfway point of the fantasy football season. Some of us are riding high with 6-2 records basking in dreams and visions of fantasy championships on the horizon. The rest of us have located our local friendly time traveling scientist to convert our 2018 Nissan Rogue into a time machine. I honestly need an oil change as I have trouble getting it above 88 miles per hour. So, I guess I can’t go back and should instead focus on digging myself out of this hole without having the kiss my mother or have her see me in my undies. I’m talking of course of the waiver wire and where we’re going, you’ll need the waiver wire.

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I dunno about you, but Halloween is more like a season for me. When we think about those people who leave their winter holiday ornaments up until April, I try to do them one better by leaving out my Halloween decorations until May. It’s kind of like my fantasy football approach: when everybody wants immediate results, I’m out here thinking long term. And by long term, I’m finally celebrating any faith I had in Kevin White finally coming to fruition. Or is it Mike White that I’m celebrating? I get confused at my old age. Quickly, to the recap!

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Lamar Jackson threw for five touchdowns en route to a 36.6/33.6 point performance on DraftKings/Fanduel, respectively. Mark Ingram rumbled for a pair of touchdowns and registered 25.7/22.7 fantasy points. DeSean Jackson went off in his Philadelphia debut, scorching the Redskins defense for 38.4/31.4 fantasy points. Mark Andrews and Delanie Walker each recorded 20+ point performances at the depleted tight end position. The 49ers defense picked off Jameis Winston for a touchdown not once but twice to lead all fantasy defenses.

You know what all of these players had in common other than their strong outings? They were all a part of my Week 1 DFS guide (sure, Jameis Winston and Adam Humphries were too, but you can’t win them all, right?), and as you can see, I’m humbly enjoying my overall accuracy. It won me some money, and I hope it did the same for you. Let’s do it again!

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The week 2 slate is my favorite of every season. It offers the best chance for sharp minds to jump on bounce backs players and teams. The public often overvalues a single game sample. Using data to attack these angles involves looking back at 2018, evaluating changes to personnel/coaches, and combining those facts with the week 1 data we have available.

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So yeah, I get it, the title is a bit overused in today’s parlance with the bizarre yet hypnotizing Adult Swim “horror-comedy-90’s sitcom” experience bringing the idiom back into style. Combined with the fact that I’d faint if you told me that this headline hadn’t been used by any other football writer before today when referring to Brandin Cooks (seen above with the 11-yard touchdown)… yeah, that saying’s been here before. But how apt! How meta I say! Because that’s exactly how I felt about last night’s prime time rematch of last year’s Super Bowl (did you know? You’d think they would mention that at least once last night!) that 95% of the Northeast tuned out of in the third quarter. There was some horror, some comedy, and of course Bill Belichek carries the whole 90’s sitcom vibe all by himself… but ultimately, it seemed to be a game that’d we’d all seen before and we were all the worse for it. And sure, while it might have been the Falcon’s gameplan all along, to give the Patriots a 23-point lead only to start a miraculous comeback of their own… problem was, the comeback never came and the Falcons looked about as good in the first three quarters yesterday as they did in the last quarter in the aforementioned Super Bowl. But there was fog! And lots of it! (I can’t find confirmation if it was coming out of Cris Collinsworth’s or Bob Costas’ mouth.) So instead of calling this a Super Bowl rematch, maybe we should call it the “Trent Green Bowl”? Kind of an “NFL’s concept” of what it’s like travelling through Trent Green’s head. You know, minus the purple bears and robot unicorns…

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