In a surprising turn of events for Thursday Night Football, this game was actually semi-entertaining. I’m saying “semi” because I don’t want to get too crazy here, seeing as how there were plenty of trademarks for a Thursday game present. But there was some offense, and a lot of it came from old people. Matt Hasselbeck, Frank Gore, Andre Johnson, and Adam Vinatieri all directly contributed to the Colts victory, combining their centuries of experience in the NFL into spry performances. However, the more direct contributions to a crucial Colts victory came from Brian Hoyer (and the ineffective Texans defense). After Ryan Mallet was pulled because Arian Foster whiffed on a catch (Bill O’Brien logic!), we saw an accurate, decisive, and competent three quarters from Hoyer. And then, on a potential game-tying drive at the two minute warning, complete and utter derp (shown above) happened. It’s essentially what Brett Favre could do so well (not counting cell phone technology) back in the day. And as the Colts once again get rewarded for mediocrity by being in the worst division in football (for at least 15 years now), the Texans continue to be the posterchild for the modern day NFL: If you don’t have a quarterback, you’re f*cked.
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Arian Foster – 19 CAR, 41 YDS and 9 REC, 77 YDS. The increased snap count certainly played a role here. He took a big hit before the half and there was some question as to whether he suffered a concussion. He did refuse to be looked at, probably because the Texas Uniform Concussion Protocol requires players to identify Jesus as their Lord and Savior before being cleared to re-enter the game, so it might be something to monitor as reports come out today.
Frank Gore – 22 CAR, 98 YDS, 1 TD. I get it Houston, sometimes I have no motivation to do my job at work either. Yes, Gore look good, but as I mentioned in the lede, the Texans defense was not good at all and reactions should be tempered a bit.
Brian Hoyer – 24/31, 312 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 14 YDS. The thing is, Ryan Mallett wasn’t horrible either (7/10, 50 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 0 YDS), and you know I’m telling the truth because I really wanted to do a “Mallet got hammered” joke. Regardless, Bill O’Brien needs to stop playing musical chairs with these guys at some point. OR he could just go out and get the latest Tom Brady backup who has failed to do anything. I’m sensing a trade for Jimmy Garoppolo in theee… two…
Andre Johnson – 6 REC, 77 YDS, 2 TD. Andre Johnson… alive? I’m still a bit tepid here, it’s clear Luck prefers Donte Moncrief (1 REC, 3 YDS) and it’s no surprise that players returning home to go against their former team do pretty well. Steve Smith against Carolina last season comes to mind.