In a surprising turn of events for Thursday Night Football, this game was actually semi-entertaining. I’m saying “semi” because I don’t want to get too crazy here, seeing as how there were plenty of trademarks for a Thursday game present. But there was some offense, and a lot of it came from old people. Matt Hasselbeck, Frank Gore, Andre Johnson, and Adam Vinatieri all directly contributed to the Colts victory, combining their centuries of experience in the NFL into spry performances. However, the more direct contributions to a crucial Colts victory came from Brian Hoyer (and the ineffective Texans defense). After Ryan Mallet was pulled because Arian Foster whiffed on a catch (Bill O’Brien logic!), we saw an accurate, decisive, and competent three quarters from Hoyer. And then, on a potential game-tying drive at the two minute warning, complete and utter derp (shown above) happened. It’s essentially what Brett Favre could do so well (not counting cell phone technology) back in the day. And as the Colts once again get rewarded for mediocrity by being in the worst division in football (for at least 15 years now), the Texans continue to be the posterchild for the modern day NFL: If you don’t have a quarterback, you’re f*cked.

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Arian Foster – 19 CAR, 41 YDS and 9 REC, 77 YDS. The increased snap count certainly played a role here. He took a big hit before the half and there was some question as to whether he suffered a concussion. He did refuse to be looked at, probably because the Texas Uniform Concussion Protocol requires players to identify Jesus as their Lord and Savior before being cleared to re-enter the game, so it might be something to monitor as reports come out today.

Frank Gore – 22 CAR, 98 YDS, 1 TD. I get it Houston, sometimes I have no motivation to do my job at work either. Yes, Gore look good, but as I mentioned in the lede, the Texans defense was not good at all and reactions should be tempered a bit.

Matt Hasselbeck – 18/29, 213 YDS, 2 TD and 3 CAR, -3 YDS. He made the Texans defense look pretty terrible, which is a depressing statement to make. I wonder what Jon Kitna could do…

DeAndre Hopkins – 11 REC, 169 YDS. To be fair, defense isn’t as fun to play. And plus, only the Colts defense could make the Texans offense (Hoyer included) look like a well-oiled machine.

Brian Hoyer – 24/31, 312 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 14 YDS. The thing is, Ryan Mallett wasn’t horrible either (7/10, 50 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 0 YDS), and you know I’m telling the truth because I really wanted to do a “Mallet got hammered” joke. Regardless, Bill O’Brien needs to stop playing musical chairs with these guys at some point. OR he could just go out and get the latest Tom Brady backup who has failed to do anything. I’m sensing a trade for Jimmy Garoppolo in theee… two…

Andre Johnson – 6 REC, 77 YDS, 2 TD. Andre Johnson… alive? I’m still a bit tepid here, it’s clear Luck prefers Donte Moncrief (1 REC, 3 YDS) and it’s no surprise that players returning home to go against their former team do pretty well. Steve Smith against Carolina last season comes to mind.

 

Final Thought

Ryan Mallett: The Sulkinator

Ryan Mallett: The Sulkinator

 

  1. PancakeMaker says:
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    Guess I’ll be benching Moncrief til Luck comes back

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @PancakeMaker: Even Dorsett got more volume last night, which is weird at this point. Could just be a Hasselbeck thing.

  2. And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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    2 QB league. with all of peyton, rodgers, tyrod and mallett (hoyer got won in bidding for the same $10 i got mallett for weeks ago, but hoyer added this week). Should i just stash Geno Smith now? I know quite well peyton has at most the ROS till he’s gone, and i’m guessing any type of injury midseason could spell the end too. Could also grab Oswelier.

      • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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        @Jay: looking more towards future, i plan on never having to play any of my QB 4 spot this year unless injuries.

          • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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            @Jay: funny when the complete unknown has more value than geno (i’m assuming geno does have his job when he comes back)

            • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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              @And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers!: i mean, we know who we’d rather be playing poker with of course….. unknown guy should be trusted more than the guy who’s balls/word is nothing.

  3. Jake says:
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    What was even better than all of this is how we had like 5 Indy defenders blocking each other on that hail marry that was absolutely hilarious. I cant believe that either one of these two teams are part of the NFL and worse than that Indy was supposed to make a serious run at the super bowl this year ha. Maybe the deflated ball excuse will work for them again at least they would have some reason for looking like garbage.

  4. Clyde Prompto says:
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    My only quibble with any of this is that Jay Cutler is clearly “The Sulkinator.” If we’re sticking with characters from James Cameron films, Mallet is more like “Harry Wahh-sker.” From “True Cries,” obvi.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Clyde Prompto: We can give Mallett the one game label. Cutler would have been proud.

      • Clyde Prompto says:
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        @Jay: That’s fair.

  5. Play4thefuture? says:
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    Would you buy low on moncrief after that awful game? I play in a keeper and the owner has him for $1..

    also, how do you feel about frank gore now. I was trying to deal him but should I hold or does this game just help my case to sell?

    Lastly, would you deal Carolina d and willie Snead for Greg Olsen.. I’d just waiver wire Ds the rest of the season..
    Or,
    Either a $7 sammy Watkins or $6 martavis Bryant in a keeper for gret Olsen. I have a feeling he’s about to go off

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Play4thefuture?: Totally. Moncrief was doing well up to last night’s game. One game doesn’t make a player’s projection, if that makes sense. I would still deal, but as for a little more, as that game probably gave a good surge to his stock. Yes, I’d want Olsen there.

  6. imp says:
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    What do you think of this trade for 12 team PPR with 3 starting WR/no flex?

    My Tannehill and Decker
    for
    His Brees and Tate

    My other WRs are Edelemen/Jeffery/ARobinson/KWright/MWallace

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @imp: Brees side.

      • imp says:
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        @Jay: Accepted pending league approval. Thanks for the 2nd pair of eyes.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @imp: Any time!

  7. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Which 3 of these do you want on your bench, 0.5 ppr, start 2rb 2wr 1flex?

    David Johnson (RB5 behind a strong top 4), DGB (WR4), Reed (have Carrier filling in for him), J. Thomas, Jets DST (currently streaming KC)

  8. TOGMAN says:
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    12-team PPR league.

    Who should I drop to add a TE?
    Whoever I drop, I probably won’t get back, so I don’t really want to drop anyone, but..

    Spiller, Landry, Wright, Taylor, Bradford, CAR.

    QB: Bradford, Taylor
    RB: Bell, Abdullah, Woodhead, K. Williams, Spiller
    WR: Green, Hopkins, Cooper, Landry, Wright
    DEF: CIN, CAR(bye)

    Defenses available: NYJ, ATL, DET, MIA, PIT, MIN, DAL

  9. RePete says:
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    Start Spiller @ PHI or Hankerson vs WAS in my flex spot in a 0.5 PPR League? After seeing Johnson go off against his former team, I’m wonderng if Hankerson could have a big game.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @RePete: He very well might, but in any PPR format, Spiller has the slight edge.

  10. Hometown Hero says:
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    I’m in a 12 team 2-qb standard keeper league where you can keep 3-5 ppl with one being a rookie. The 0-4 team has Julio and is trying to move him to start the rebuild. Would you sell the farm(D Johnson $1, Jordan Matthews $6, DGB $1 and Eifert $1) for him? I would have M Bryant, J Brown and D Hopkins at WR and Ivory, Blount T Coleman at RB.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Hometown Hero: Yes, in that scenario and with those names, I’m going all in. Flags fly forever.

  11. E says:
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    Need a flex play this week, who should I pick up? .5ppr

    Jamison Crowder
    Cole Beasley
    Andre Williams
    Ryan Mathews
    Chris sims

    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @E: Williams.

  12. ashtray says:
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    Which of these stash RBs should I drop to make room for another WR:

    Tevin Coleman
    Matt Jones
    Christine Michael
    James Starks (I own Lacy)

    My other RBs are:
    Le’Veon Bell
    Eddie Lacy
    Frank Gore

    Thanks

  13. ashtray says:
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    Need a flex play for this week unless Watkins miraculously can play:

    Matt Jones
    Boobie Dixon
    Kenny Britt
    Andre Williams
    Jamison Crowder
    Marques Wilson
    Chris Thompson
    Christine Michael
    Tevin Coleman

      • RotoLance

        RotoLance says:
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        @Jay: Just to be clear, isn’t it Dixon, assuming K Williams and McCoy are out? Neither has practiced yet.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @RotoLance: They’re close with Karlos still playing. I’m waiting until Saturday to update my rankings. I’d like to gather all the reports after today’s practice to see where everything is at.

          • CMUTimmah says:
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            @Jay: Seeing everywhere that Rex Ryan is saying “Not at the table, Karlos!”

            Boobies galor.

    • RotoLance

      RotoLance says:
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      @ashtray: I think you’d actually start Boobie Dixon over Watkins unless it’s PPR, so his presence doesn’t matter imo.. Good luck.

      • Ashtray says:
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        @RotoLance: I read this morning boobie is injured too

        • RotoLance

          RotoLance says:
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          @Ashtray: I dug around and found the same thing but I haven’t heard any real concern stemming from it yet.

  14. Kendrick Llama says:
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    Jay is it worth it to use my waiver (which will send me to 10 as it doesn’t reset) on CJ2K?

    Qb: Wilson, Tannehill (super flex)
    RB: Freeman, Hill, Gore, Jones, Andrews
    Wr: obj, Maclin,Robinson, Hankerson
    TE: eifert

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Kendrick Llama: I think you’re okay there. Wait for a little longer.

  15. JHawk says:
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    Jay
    Start K Allen in as WR3 in ppr.
    With Rivers & Palmer so close in rankings and both facing derp worthy defenses, would you hedge and start Palmer? First world problems!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @JHawk: First world problems indeed! Probably going with Rivers. Seattle’s defense is not what it once was, but they have more playmakers over the Steelers.

  16. Bubba Gump says:
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    I can start two, who sits?

    Hankerson, Terrance Williams, Eddie Royal, Sammy Watkins

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Bubba Gump: Watkins if he doesn’t play. Royal as well.

  17. Grant says:
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    I was so close to starting Johnson last night, just for the fact that it was his old team. Didn’t pull the trigger, now I better get some good things out of my other guys.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Grant: Yeah, it’s a tough call. Johnson has been ignored for three weeks in a row. Hard to call that.

  18. Justice says:
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    Tried trading for Lacy. Offered Evans and James Jones. He counterd with Lacy for B. Marshall and James Jones. And to make room on his team he’ll drop Adams (gb). My rb’s: L. Bell, D. Murray, J. Randle, Hillman, Matthews, Duke Johnson. My wr’s; Evans, B. Marshall, Watkins, James Jones, k. Wright. 12 team league, .5ppr, and a flex. What do you think? I’m leaning to accepting and maybe have throw in Adams, since he put him out to waivers. Please give opions. Thanks.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Justice: Yeah, I still like that trade for you if you get Adams.

  19. Nick says:
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    I see alot of website liking Gates over M Bennett this week. I know your homerism will shine here but really would you make the switch at TE position?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: I think Gates has a good game, but I’m trying to stay tempered.

  20. Rice says:
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    Flex start: Boobie Dixon or Willie Snead?

    • Rice says:
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      @Rice: Or Boom Herron I guess?

    • Nick says:
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      @Rice: welp K Williams & McCoy out, gotta go Boobie I’d think…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Rice: Looking like Dixon if Williams is out.

  21. Joe says:
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    Thinking about picking up Boobie Dixon since AP is on bye. I would have to drop David Johnson to get him. Does David Johnson have any long term appeal this season or does Ellington returning mean he’s a drop? If I don’t get Dixon I have to start David Johnson or Duke Johnson.

    • CMUTimmah says:
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      @Joe: If PPR – I wouldn’t mind starting Duke as a “got to follow suit” play. Could be much much worse.

      Non-PPR – Hope you get Dixon… fall back to Duke… and hope.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joe: Not really. I like the pickup for you.

  22. Principal Blackman says:
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    In a PPR, 0.5PPRush, Return Yardage (10 yds/per point) league, would you start Harvin (who get’s a boost in this format) or Brandin Cooks (against a swiss cheese Eagles secondary) as your WR3? Fitzgerald and Allen Robinson are my WR 1&2. But I’m on the fence for my WR3 and getting ready to flip a coin about it.

    • CMUTimmah says:
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      @Principal Blackman: Cooks is due, Harvin isn’t a total mess.

      Cooks is being held back by no other threatening WRs… if Snead can draw some coverage, Cooks will be a nice WR2 going forward… but obviously, that remains to be seen. I like Cooks a bit more this week though… you caught a break with the Gerald Fitzlarry return to glory… decent WR mix even with the miss on Cooks.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Principal Blackman: Yeah, I’d do Cooks. Harvin has been hot garbage since opening week.

  23. Nick says:
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    Hey Jay, just saw that K Williams & McCoy are down leaving Boobie to start @ Tenn….do ya think he is worth a 1 week plug over J Randle (against Pats)? I have DeMarco as other RB (he cleared injury report so maybe he will do something)… AP is on bye so I have Hankerson at flex (like that Julio is questionable, leaves a big game open for Hank-time)…

    I would have to drop Joique Bell or Marvin Jones (remember, I have claims in for Tate & D Adams – clearing tomorrow morning). With that said, I doubt I’m getting either so I do have the space since I should still have Joique or Marvin tomorrow after waivers clear…

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: 10 team -standard non-ppr league as usual

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: Actually, I suppose Rawls or Boom Heron should be mentioned over Boobie…what you think, hold?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: I’m still thinking about it. Probably not, but it’s close enough where I’ll make my call later today when I update the rankings.

  24. lb. sand says:
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    With Alshon & Eddie both out, would you start Marquess Wilson over Allen Hurns this week?
    Half PPR
    Thx

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @lb. sand: I still like Hurns there.

  25. Dom B says:
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    Would you trade Leveon Bell for Jamal Charles stright up.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dom B: I’d hold, pretty lateral trade there.

    • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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      @Dom B: i’d keep bell for sure, walrus about 6-7 times last year only gave charles 14 or less carries for no good reason, and always had utter b.s. excuses post game.

  26. Butterfield says:
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    Is Woodhead and Moncrief for Cooper a fair deal? Or Woodhead and Cooks?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Butterfield: I’d rather hold. I think Moncrief can contribute close to Cooper when Luck returns.

      • Butterfield says:
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        @Jay: But in your ros ranking, you have Cooper 13th and Moncrief 26th?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Butterfield: I’m speaking in terms of keeping Woodhead too. He closes that gap.

  27. Play4thefuture? says:
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    Sorry asked this above but wanted to double check… You’re ok with sending either martavis Bryant or sammy Watkins (both a $5 keeper) in a keeper league for Greg Olsen? My trade partner prefers Bryant and I was huge on him all summer..

    Also, same league, same keeper status (you can keep any 3 guys from your team) would you deal Martellus Bennet to get duke Johnson?

  28. Tripwirealarm says:
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    Standard league – I can get AP and Calvin Johnson along with Karlos Williams for Frank Gore Antonio Brown and Ronnie Hillman, should I pull the trigger?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tripwirealarm: I think you have to. It’s a good trade for you.

      • And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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        @Jay: that’s one of those that would’ve been close preseason but isn’t now.

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