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An artist’s depiction of yesterday’s Cowboys game.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the first every Sunday of football should always have the Dallas Cowboys doing whatever that was they did yesterday afternoon. In fact, let’s start a petition to have them on Monday AND Thursday night as well. I mean, can we even say that the Cowboys actually did anything in training camp? This looks like the exact same team from last year, and I’ve already started decorating my house for the holidays seeing as how the Cowboys are already in mid-December form. True, as the sharp and always entertaining (in gouging your own eyes out sort of way) commentating duo of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman informed us, if not for all the turnovers, this would have been a close game. I’ve never seen something so beautifully and succinctly useless at the same time. If it weren’t for the Normandy landing and the eastern invasion of Russia, Germany had a pretty good World War II. And while the game was technically close without including large portions of events that happened during the game, I was left with this one burning question– What is it called when you throw to a receiver that had 12 people covering him?

 

Saints – 34, Falcons – 37

Matt Ryan – 31/43, 448 YDS, 3 TD and 3 CAR, 15 YDS. Matt Ryan owners who started him (especially the ones at my behest), I salute you.

Drew Brees – 29/42, 333 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 2 YDS. Just 333 yards? Are the Saints apparently a running team now? Or do I just suck at fantasy?

Steven Jackson – 12 CAR, 52 YDS and 1 REC, 0 YDS. Basically what you can expect from him, minus the year-ending injury. That happens later.

Jacquizz Rodgers – 6 CAR, 34 YDS, 1 TD. I’m so glad that someone named their child Jacquizz, and that this child became an NFL player, because the world needs to know about that name.

Mark Ingram – 13 CAR, 60 YDS, 2 TD and 1 REC, 1 YDS. Mark Ingram– giving fantasy players false hope for three years running!

Julio Jones – 7 REC, 116 YDS. A very Julio effort, but needs more touchdowns. And probably bacon.

Devin Hester – 5 REC, 99 YDS. Who taught Devin Hester that he could catch anything that wasn’t kicked to him?

Brandin Cooks – 7 REC, 77 YDS, 1 TD and 1 CAR, 18 YDS. Certainly looks like a capable NFL receiver!

Jimmy Graham – 8 REC, 110 YDS. See Jones, Julio, above. But even more bacon. Remember, money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you tons of bacon. And that’s pretty effing close.

 

Vikings – 34, Rams – 6

Matt Cassel – 17/25, 170 YDS, 2 TDs and 3 CAR, -2 YDS. This was probably the most Matt Cassel game ever.

Austin Davis – 16/23, 192 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, 0 YDS. Siri, who is Austin Davis?

Shaun Hill – 8/13, 81 YDS, 1 INT and 1 CAR, -1 YDS. Looks like the Shaun Hill era has been put on hold. Only able to play one half, Hill missed the rest of the game with a quadriceps injury.

Adrian Peterson – 21 CAR, 75 YDS and 2 REC, 18 YDS. Peterson ran for 212 yards the last time this two teams faced. So I think we can state that the Rams strategy of letting Patterson destroy them instead worked amazingly well.

Cordarrelle Patterson – 3 REC, 26 YDS and 3 CAR, 102 YDS, 1 TD. So, is he a WR disguised as a RB or a RB disguised as a WR? Or wait, isn’t that just the same thing?

Zac Stacy – 11 CAR, 43 YDS and 1 REC, 8 YDS. Yes, I’m still onboard the Stacy train, and now that the Rams have zero-to-negative starting quarterbacks, I think you’ll see him getting fed pretty regularly.

Benny Cunningham – 5 CAR, 21 YDS and 4 REC, 30 YDS. There were a lot of things to like here, though in small increments. And while I believe Stacy remains the main guy, it never hurts to keep an eye on Cunningham. Or ham in general. Because ham is delicious.

 

Browns – 27, Steelers – 30

Ben Roethlisberger – 23/34, 365 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 2 CAR, 8 YDS. HARF HARF BEN DO GOOD? HARF HARF. (That’s my best Big Ben impersonation.) Related: Coming back from 24 down to tie it, and then lose on the final possession is the most Cleveland thing ever to happen. Browns gonna brown.

Le’Veon Bell – 21 CAR, 109 YDS, 1 TD and 6 REC, 88 YDS. See, I told you guys not to worry. I can’t quite get full extension, so you’re welcome to pat me on the back.

Terrence West – 16 CAR, 100 YDS. So, remember those few minutes when Ben Tate was fantasy relevant?

Ben Tate – Was forced to leave the game in the second quarter with a knee injury. He had looked effective before leaving, but Terrance West looked even more effective, and I wouldn’t be surprised, depending on the severity of the injury, if we don’t see more of a timeshare here.

Markus Wheaton – 6 REC, 97 YDS. You know who told you to buy Wheaton? Smokey did.

Jordan Cameron – 2 REC, 47 YDS. Cameron was expected to return, but was forced out of the game with an apparent shoulder injury. He also missed time with a shoulder injury during training camp, and as of now, you should try your best to ignore who Jim Dray and Gary Barnidge are.

 

Jaguars – 17, Eagles – 34

Nick Foles – 27/45, 322 YDS, 2 TDs, 1 INT. First half: I haven’t seen Eagles fans this excited about a QB since Kevin Kolb! Second half: So how about that Foles guy, everybody? He’s gonna be something special! Also: Jacksonville gonna go get jax’d.

LeSean McCoy – 21 CAR, 74 YDS and 6 REC, 41 YDS. What, no touchdowns? Chip Kelly, this is not allowed. Innovate something!

Darren Sproles – 11 CAR, 71 YDS, 1 TD and 4 REC, 14 YDS. Tiny Darren is tiny.

Toby Gerhart – 18 CAR, 42 YDS and 2 REC, 15 YDS. So… yeah. Probably not one of those fantasy performances you’d expect to see from a starting running back, unless you’re a Ray Rice owner. Then again, I didn’t draft him anywhere, nor did I want to, so cool story… bro?

Jeremy Maclin – 4 REC, 97 YDS, 1 TD. It appears as though if Maclin survives the season, he should be pretty good.

Allen Hurns – 4 REC, 110 YDS, 2 TDs. Siri, while you’re looking up Austin Davis, please tell me who Allen Hurns is. To be honest, I’m teetering on what I saw here. Is he the next Kevin Ogletree? Maybe. I believe Marqise Lee and Allen Robinson are better receivers, but at this point, if you have, say, an Aaron Dobson on your roster, I’d put in a waiver claim just to see what happens.

 

Raiders – 14, Jets – 19

Geno Smith – 23/28, 221 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 10 CAR, 38 YDS. Watching a Geno Smith drive is like watching a Tony Romo game consolidated down into a drive.

Derek Carr – 20/32, 151 YDS, 2 TDs, and 1 CAR, -1 YD. He kinda had flashes of looking like a real quarterback. Do the Raiders get to have those?

Darren McFadden and Maurice Jones Drew – 13 CAR, 26 YDS and 3 REC, 18 YDS. I combined their stats to try and make it look better, but to be honest, I think this actually makes them look incredibly worse.

Chris Johnson – 13 CAR, 68 YDS and 5 REC, 23 YDS 1 TD. This is probably who he is, a mediocre flex option, except for those random games (a total of three) where he just completely goes apesh*t on someone.

Chris Ivory – 10 CAR, 102 YDS, 1 TD. Probably the best handcuff-you-left-on-your-bench performance this Sunday. Bask in it.

 

Bengals – 23, Ravens – 16

Andy Dalton – 25/38, 301 YDS, 1 TD and 6 CAR, 3 YDS. Andy Dalton: Of questionable talent.

Joe Flacco – 35/62, 345 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 3 CAR, 7 YDS. Flacco manages to throw one pass a game that justifies his employment.

Justin Forsett – 11 CAR, 70 YDS, 1 TD and 5 REC, 14 YDS. If you need a Ravens running back for one more game before Ray Rice comes back, this is your guy. I’m sorry.

Benard Pierce – 6 CAR, 14 YDS, 1 FUM. Benard Pierce: Terrible at football.

A.J. Green – 6 REC, 131 YDS, 1 TD. Still an elite receiver. Nothing to see here, move along.

Tyler Eifert – 3 REC, 37 YDS. After getting his elbow dislocated to a new time zone, it appears his elbow “popped right back in.” Appetizing. “He’ll still have to let the ligaments in there heal some before getting back on the field.” The Bengals are hopeful he will only miss a few weeks.

Steve Smith – 7 REC, 118 YDS, 1 TD. Man, who would’ve guessed the offensive combination of Joe Flacco, Gary Kubiak, and a 60 year-old Steve Smith would be anything less than a powerhouse? (Ignore the fact that Steve Smith face-masked himself into the endzone off an 80-yard catch.)

 

Bills – 23, Bears – 20

Jay Cutler – 34/49, 349 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT. Jay Cutler? More like Jay Sulker, amiright? Packers fans that haven’t touched Facebook since Thursday afternoon magically found their smartphones after this game.

Fred Jackson and C.J. Spiller – 23 CAR, 113 YDS and 6 REC, 24 YDS, 1 TD. Combined, because this is probably what you’ll be getting the entire season sans any injury. Then just replace one of them with Anthony Dixon. So what you have here, essentially, is one complete running back, but divided by two, and then divvy’d up onto your fantasy team to be multiplied by your tears of frustration.

Matt Forte – 17 CAR, 82 YDS and 8 REC, 87 YDS. Looks like another top-5 season in the making.

Alson Jeffery – 5 REC, 71 YDS. Wondering what happened to Jeffery towards the end of the game? According to Marc Trestman, Jeffery suffered a hamstring injury, but he seemed to downplay it… “Alshon was prepared to go in there at specific times. I’ll just leave it at that.” Okay? It was reported he was walking without any limp, but unfortunately I couldn’t find out if there were any bizkit’s involved.

Martellus Bennett – 8 REC, 70 YDS, 1 TD. I may have underestimated his fantasy relevance. Then again, the Buffalo Bills did win this game, so crazier things have happened.

 

Washington Football Team – 6, Texans – 17

Ryan Fitzpatrick – 14/22, 206 YDS, 1 TD and 4 CAR, 10 YDS. I liked him better when he sang for the Spin Doctors.

Robert Griffin III – 29/37, 267 YDS and 3 CAR, 2 YDS, 2 FUM. RG0-1.

Arian Foster – 27 CAR, 103 YDS and 2 REC, 17 YDS. I refuse to believe Foster can do anything 27 times without pulling something.

Jordan Reed – 1 REC, 4 YDS. Trying to do his best impersonation of Rob Gronkowski, Reed will be heading for a MRI on his hamstring. He suffered the injury when trying to hurdle a defender early in yesterday’s game. So he essentially injured something while jumping… nothing about this surprises me.

Niles Paul – 4 REC, 86 YDS. If there’s an extended absence for Reed, there might be something here in Paul. There are probably better options available on the waiver wire, but this is very league dependent.

 

Titans – 26, Chiefs – 10

Jake Locker – 22/33, 266 YDS, 2 TD and 6 CAR, 14 YDS. A good sign, and I feel myself quoting myself very soon. Hey, look at that! “I’m not saying he’s a top-15 QB, seeing as how I have him at a QB19 right there in parenthesis, but it’s no secret that the offensive scheme he’s now a part of feeds off of high-accuracy short and mid passes, and with the majority of his running backs and receivers having yards-after-carry potential, well, let’s just say I’m one of those crazy people who thinks that if the team’s offense does well, so will the quarterback. TOO CRAZY.”

Bishop Sankey – 6 CAR, 25 YDS. Not terribly surprising, as ball control issues have a nasty effect on how many times you get to touch the football.

Jamaal Charles – 7 CAR, 19 YDS and 4 REC, 15 YDS. This… so much this:

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Justin Hunter, Nate Washington, and Kendall Wright – 13 REC, 168 YDS, 1 TD. Just divide that line by three and you pretty much have their end-of-game line. I think both Hunter and Wright will get a higher volume, but I’m worried that this is the best they could do with what appears to be just a terrible Chiefs defense.

 

Patriots – 20, Dolphins – 33

Ryan Tannehill – 18/32, 178 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT and 3 CAR, -2 YDS. I do think we see an improved Tannehill this year compared to last season. Did we see that improvement this game? My definitive answer to this question is– maybe?

Tom Brady – 29/56, 249 YDS, 1 TD and 1 CAR, 3 YDS. I don’t need to say anything. Tom Brady has taken care of it for us:

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Julian Edelman – 6 REC, 95 YDS and 2 CAR, 21 YDS. Edelman was the second leading rusher for the Patriots, and only needed 15 more yards to pass Shane Vereen for that illustrious title. Really says a lot about the Patriots running game. In that, it doesn’t exist quite yet.

Rob Gronkowski – 4 REC, 40 YDS, 1 TD. I don’t see anything on the injury report, so I’m just assuming the report is wrong.

Knowshon Moreno – 24 CAR, 134 YDS, 1 TD. So I think it’s safe to say that this is no longer a tandem and that the Lamar Miller hype-train might be derailing for the 84th time. Frankly, I stopped riding on it the 37th time, but 36 trips doesn’t look much better than 84 trips. Well, I mean, it does, but that’s a lot of train rides is what I’m saying. CHOO CHOO, whatever.

 

Panthers – 20, Buccaneers – 14

Derek Anderson – 24/34, 230 YDS, 2 TD and 3 CAR, 10 YDS. Despite Anderson showing us he’s the real deal (italicized, since I really have no other way to highlight sarcasm at this point in time… gotta work with the technology we have, ya know?), Cam Newton, who was held out of the game, is expected to play in week two.

Doug Martin – 9 CAR, 9 YDS and 1 REC, 7 YDS. Couldn’t finish the game due to a left knee injury. With a line like that, I would have listed it as a left-ego injury.

Kelvin Benjamin – 6 REC, 92 YDS, 1 TD. I had some kind of Bob Marley “We’re Jamin'” joke, playing on Ben”jamin”‘s last name, but it never came to fruition. But you get fruit, so there’s that. You actually don’t get any fruit. Sorry.

Greg Olsen – 8 REC, 83 YDS, 1 TD. Only 75 REC, 788 YDS, and 8 TDs to go to meet my wild ‘n’ crazy projection… you can do this.

 

49ers – 28, Cowboys – 17

Colin Kaepernick – 16/23, 201 YDS, 2 TD and 5 CAR, 11 YDS. Can’t quite tell if Kaepernick looked really good, or the Cowboys defense is just really bad…

Tony Romo – 23/37. 281 YDS, 1 TD, 3 INT. On the bright side, he did throw for 281 yards. So there’s that, I guess. So… when does Rick Perry send in the National Guard to take over and manage the Cowboys?

Carlos Hyde – 7 CAR, 50 YDS, 1 TD. Looked so much like a beast with a football, Andrew Luck was jealous. He should not be on waivers anywhere.

DeMarco Murray – 22 CAR, 118 YDS, 1 TD and 3 REC, 25 YDS, 1 FUM. He didn’t get injured? What? Oh, but he did fumble. Okay, well, it’s always one or the other…

Dez Bryant – 4 REC, 55 YDS. Was taken out of the game for a bit because of “dehydration”. That’s a nice way to put “nausea from the Romonobyl fallout”.

 

Colts – 24, Broncos – 31

Peyton Manning – 22/36, 269 YDS, 3 TD.  If you ignore the forehead, Manning’s face is actually very proportional.

Andrew Luck – 35/53, 370 YDS, 2 TD abd 5 CAR, 19 YDS, 1 TD. Hodor. Hodor? Hodor. Hodor. Also, hodor.

Montee Ball – 23 CAR, 67 YDS, 1 TD and 2 REC, 16 YDS. Not particularily inspiring… I mean, it’s pretty clear how I feel, and it’s not like I want him to fail (unless it’s against the Chargers), but I still didn’t see any of the hype that’s been spread like wild fire among my peers. Let’s see how it continues to play out…

Ahmed Bradshaw – 3 CAR, 15 YDS and 5 REC, 70 YDS. My officially anointed “prized-sleeper-that-I’ll-be-completely-irrational-about” this year, I liked what a saw, despite a game in which the running game just wasn’t there. He found a way to get production, and like I said, if he’s healthy, he’s the best running back on the team, and it’s not close.

Trent Richardson – 6 CAR, 20 YDS and 3 REC, 31 YDS. LOL.

Julius Thomas – 7 REC, 104 YDS, 3 TD. Essentially devoured the surrounding environment.

Reggie Wayne – 9 REC, 98 YDS. Declared himself “120% healthy”, which seems like a not real number. Perhaps he hasn’t recovered from math yet?

  1. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    in 14 team dynasty with huge benches, i have both CAR and KC defenses. should i drop KC yet for any of JAX/PHI/PIT/ATL/OAK/WAS? I easily can wait on this but they seemed pretty horrible (and had 2 major injuries). this league also has a super flex, so it’s basically a 2 QB league, i have foles/palmer, should i just drop KC (and can stream from those 7 if CAR ever has horrible matchup and/or bye) and grab Hill/Mallett/Hoyer/A.Davis? Hoyer might prove useful (he was pretty good for like 1.5 games or so last year)

    • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: those 4 are pretty much literally the only options for QB, some guys are stashing 4 of them. Doesn’t seem terrible idea, as i’d be up a creek if Old Man Palmer were to get hurt. Even Cousins/Weeden/Glennon are owned.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: None of those defenses really excite me, but KC look terrible. You should just drop them for depth. Stashing another QB is a fine idea, even though those options are pretty meh.

  2. frankgrimes says:
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    i wish ray rice would follow Doug Martin into an elevator

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @frankgrimes: Yeah, I mean, it would only be another two games…

  3. The Thumb says:
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    Terrance West or Ahmad?

    Thanks Jay

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The Thumb: I still believe in Ahmad, but that question is so tough. I think you have to go West here to be honest.

  4. Bye Felicia says:
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    493 pts in my PPR IDP league * Barak Obama face * “Not Bad ” Andrew Luck is a 5th rd steal

  5. ” If it weren’t for the Normandy landing and the eastern invasion of Russia, Germany had a pretty good World War II.”

    *claps*

    Sidenote: I’d put Joe Buck in Ray Rice’s elevator any day of the week. Or under Antonio Brown’s foot.

  6. Drop Hartline for Hurns in a PPR league? Have Brandon Marshall, Vincent Cruz and Reggie Wayne as we’ll for WRs.

    Woodhead is currently my RB2 (Forte RB1), should I be looking at Bradshaw or Hyde? They are both out there. I also have Bernard pierce on my bench.

    Thanks Jay!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Turd Ferguson: Yes, I’m okay with that on Hartline. And shit, I really want Bradshaw there, but Hyde looked like a monster. Ugh. Hyde.

  7. Steve says:
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    Ingram, Moreno, or Fjax ROS
    10 team standard
    I need to keep 2
    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve: I would honestly try to trade Ingram and something for anything right now. But if I have to choose, I think Ingram is still the odd man out here.

  8. Steve says:
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    Would u drop decker to pick up guys like Wheaton, Terrance Williams , hurns ,
    Thx

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve: It’s iffy. I don’t like Smith or the offense in general, but he is the better receiver out of those guys. Hold for now.

  9. Brian says:
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    I started Matt Ryan over Andrew Luck in no large part due to your rankings. Thanks!

    In a PPR league, is it worth dropping Terrance Williams or Kyle Rudolph for Steve Smith or Allen Hurns?

    I have Cruz, Jeffries, Garcon, and Williams as my receivers and I have Greg Olsen at TE.

    Also, I probably could trade Andrew Luck for a top receiver like Thomas. Should I?

    -Brian

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brian: I salute you sir!

      I would hold here, I like all of your options better right now.

      And on a Luck trade, yeah, if you have Ryan, I would totally flip him for DT.

  10. CL says:
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    Jay: I’ve got Josh Gordon, Bradshaw, Kelce, and Devonta Freeman on my bench. Would you pick up Quick over Freemen, because I think I need some WR depth (12 team 1PT PPR)? I know Rams QB shituation is not perty.

    Also, I have a claim in dropping Rams DEF for Minny DEF… no brainer, right?

    Hope you did well this weekend!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @CL: Yeah, if you need depth, I’m fine with that. And I’m certainly not liking the Rams defense right now, which is a shame. I had them ranked pretty high in the pre-season.

      • CL says:
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        @Jay: Or maybe, I should pick Shorts back up instead… since I dropped him last week…?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @CL: Yeah, I’m okay with that Shorts pick up.

  11. Charles says:
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    Morning Jay. 14 Team non PPR and 6 pts for all TDs. 1 pt per 20 yards. Fractional points count. 3pts per FG, 4 pts between 40 – 49 yrds FG, 5 pts over 50 yrd FG. I’m down by 24 and I have Michael Floyd, Joique Bell and Detroit Kicker left. What are my chances?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Charles: Actually, it’s not dire. But you’d need a big game from either Bell or Floyd.

  12. Charles says:
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    I started F. Jax over Ingram in my flex. UGH! I’m having a little week 1 over reaction here.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Charles: Don’t worry about it, you made the smart play there, it’s the best we can do. Football gonna football, ya know?

  13. Wilsonian says:
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    Can you pick your top 3 of these jackwagons to take over my bench:

    Woodhead
    SJax
    Miller
    Ingram
    Tate
    West
    Ingram
    Ivory

    0.5 PPR – 3 point bonus at 85 yards rec/100 yards rush; 6 point bonus at 135 yards rec/150 yards rush

    I have SJax, Woodhead, and Miller. I’m thinking Miller has to go. SJax may, too. I’d like to snag Locker, as well, to be my 3rd QB in what is essentially a 2-QB league.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Wilsonian: I’d want, out of those three, Woodhead, West, and Ivory, but I like that Locker talk you got going on there. Him over Ivory if that’s the case.

      • Wilsonian says:
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        @Jay: So you’d dump SJax and Miller for West and Locker? We have a QB and then the Q/W/R/T flex, so it’s pretty much a 2-QB league. I’ve got Brady and Ryan already, but Locker would be a great backup to those guys, or a matchup play if Brady starts sucking…

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Wilsonian: Yeah, I’m okay with those options. It might be a little early to sell on SJax, but I saw nothing out of him yesterday.

          • Wilsonian says:
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            @Jay: yeah, I’m definitely having an issue there. I dumped Miller for Locker, and wavering on dumping SJax. But I agree, I saw nothing that makes me think he’s got much left in the tank.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Wilsonian: I’m with you on that. It’s a flip of the coin for me, but I’m really weary too.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Wilsonian: Just to add, there’s nothing wrong here for holding, at least one more week.

  14. Tom says:
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    Hey jay, tough start to fantasy football in week 1; both my qb’s (Brady & romo) weren’t that great & I started romo, Tate got injured didn’t help , demaryius Thomas being ineffective / dropping passes also didn’t help, Crabtree did nothing I should’ve started Benjamin in his place, on my bench MJD & gerhart both had bad games

    Now some positives I took from yesterday; cordarrelle patterson , zach Ertz, gio Bernard wasn’t bad and I did add & start Bradshaw at the flex & he did give me 9 points so that wasn’t bad, on my bench Wheaton had a solid game, Terrence west looked good, same with Kelvin Benjamin

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tom: It’s okay, I had Crabtree over Benjamin, and I figured Gerhart would at least be serviceable.

      Just hold steady, we all have to remember it’s just one week.

      • Tom says:
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        @Jay:

        Exactly just week one

        Would you drop kenny Britt or wait two or three weeks?

        Here are options at WR I could replace him w/, Allen hurns, Nate Washington, santonio Holmes, rod streater, Jericho cotchery , mike Williams, Robert woods, Travis Benjamin, kembrell Thompkins

        Or if I wanted to add a RB here’s some that are available; Isaiah Crowell, Alfred blue, Benny Cunningham , Lance Dunbar,

        On my bench I currently have Malcolm Floyd, Markus Wheaton, Kelvin Benjamin Britt, Jeremy hill, Terrance west, MJD & gerhart

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Tom: I liked Kenny Britt going into the season, but if you need something functional to hold you over, I like Streater, then Hurns.

          And I would hold on the RB front, I think you’re okay there.

  15. MPC says:
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    Good morning. Would you start the questionable Gates tonight or Ebron? 16 team PPR league. I’m down 10 points going into tonight with my Stafford plus TE Vs. his Woodhead/Bell. It’s going to be tough– may come down to starting the correct TE. Which way would you go? Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @MPC: I think you should go Ebron here. Even if he does suit up, I’ve seen this before, he’ll be used more of a decoy and short dump guy since he can’t get separation.

  16. Wilsonian says:
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    Just got an interesting trade offer:

    I get: T.Y. Hilton
    I give: D.Pitta

    I have Graham as my every week TE. People like Kelce, Walker, Allen, Paul, Toilolo, Clay, Gates are available. 0.5 PPR – 3 point bonus at 85 yards rec; 6 point bonus at 135 yards rec

    • CL says:
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      @Wilsonian: He’s selling low on Hilton? I’d do that for my backup TE, especially with what’s on wire (Kelce).

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Wilsonian: I would do that in a second.

      • Wilsonian says:
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        @Jay: done.

  17. Bryce Krispie Treats says:
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    I dont know if you are being humble… but you didnt say anything about the Toilolo TD!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Bryce Krispie Treats: There’s only so many times I can pat myself on the back before I spring something! I will say this, I liked the way the Falcons used him, and I’m eager to see more.

  18. MaxPower says:
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    Tom Brady is my QB in 12-man Dynasty League. I expect to start him every week this year, but grabbed Palmer just in case. Is it worth picking up and stashing Garoppolo sooner rather than later?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @MaxPower: Let’s see how the season plays out. If you do have an empty spot, he’s worth an add though.

  19. Charles says:
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    I drafted V. Jax as my WR2. What are your thoughts on McGown’s performance yesterday and ROS? Too early to panic I know but should I try to sell high soon as V Jax has a monster game?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Charles: Yes, I would sell. If you look at his point distribution last season, you might be surprised how he got all his points. (Hint: 4 games he was a top-tier production guy.)

  20. Ryan says:
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    Need 6.5 standard Pts for a week 1 win….do I start Mathews or Cruz tonight?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Ryan: I’d go Mathews here.

  21. Dave says:
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    Should I be a little worried with Kyle Rudolph after yesterday? He didn’t seem to have a big role like everyone said he would but he did get a garbage time TD.

    Also, stick with NE defense for week 2 (they play @MIN) or pick one up? Some of the ones on the waiver are – MIA (@BUF), Houston (OAK), TB (vs STL), and Redskins (vs JAX) I’d also take any suggestion for a defense that I didn’t mention.

    Thanks!!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dave: Let’s wait and see. It was a game that was won pretty early on. I would actually go Houston this week.

  22. brettj72 says:
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    I Ellington a buy low candidate? I got this offer from a panicked Ellington owner:

    A Ellington and T West for my M Wallace and D Sproles.

    Standard .5ppr 12 team league.

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @brettj72: nope, I’d hold

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @brettj72: To be honest, it’s a fair trade, and I’d probably do it. Just make sure you have depth for Ellington if he’s out for a while.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Jay: I’m more conservative than you

  23. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    I like the Kaep blurb, thought the same thing. Will he be this good when the players he throws to are being covered? I watched that game wondering what to call the don’t cover the tight end defense the Comboys installed for this year?

    Good stuff to kick off the year.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH: I agree. It’s tough to say, and Kap can be so up or down.

  24. Clint says:
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    I have given names to my fantasy pain and they are RG3 and Tony Romo.

    I rarely agree with Jerry Jones but oh my FREAKIN’ GOD! Dude should’ve cut Romo and followed his instincts to go with drafting Manziel. There’s no way he could have done worse than Overthromo not seeing all that RED out there as he lofted balls on a chicken wing and a prayer left and right. I felt bad for Tony watching him for years from a distance but after having drafted him for the first time this year, I can see why fantasy players hate his ass. In my scoring, it took him until the 4th quarter to get into the freakin’ POSITIVE in scoring for cryin’ out loud.

    And RG3, SERIOUSLY? Dude’s passes went for about 1 yard beyond scrimmage here (no kidding, Mike & Mike pulled the stat this morning). WTF is wrong with that passing “guru” Jay Gruden when he has better WR’s at his disposal than Henne or Derek Carr has and yet he can’t move the ball downfield in the air consistently? Maybe Jon needs to be brought in as a “consultant” or something because he seems to know quarterbacks better than his brother at this point.

    Please tell me these are week 1 aberrations and I DIDN’T draft the most horrid QB’s in history.

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Clint: I recommend to start drinking heavily and had I known these are the two you drafted I would off suggested this the day after your draft. With that being said i think it’s an adjustment to the new system for RG2 1/2 or Gruden needs to let him be more mobile and play to his playmaker abilities. Romo can be replaced but when is the real question

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Clint: Well, let’s hold, but both these guys looked really unimpressive. There are mitigating circumstances here which lead me to think, well, they can’t suck this much, but only time will tell. Let’s hold, and drink.

      • Clint says:
        (link)

        @Jay:

        So, would you guys make a claim for Moreno after his day besting Miller or is that knee coupled with the timeshare potentially getting stronger not worth it? Here’s my offense and only droppables:

        Romo, RG3, Newton, Foster, Le’Veon, Gio, Vereen, Megatron, Cobb, Crabtree, Torrey, Wright

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Clint: Romo for me, but it’s a crapshoot

          • Clint says:
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            @J-FOH:

            In this QB and QB/RB/WR/TE flex spot league??

            • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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              @Clint: no, not in that. you don’t have a drop for Moreno.

  25. my sisters friend boyfriend says:
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    Drop Freeman for Ingram, Bradshaw or West? Non ppr 10 team standard scoring.

        • my sisters friend boyfriend says:
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          @J-FOH: when ellington finally plays my bench will be Golden Tate, Mike Evans, Ray Rice, Hyde,Freeman and Dwyer…I dont see any of those guys expendable…Evans?

            • my sisters friend boyfriend says:
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              @J-FOH: yup..so who should I grab now? Forsett, ingram, ivory, west, bradshaw…

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: i’d go west 2nd to bradshaw.

  26. Charles says:
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    Just read from Rotoworld that Ray Rice might be released. Is Forsett a must pickup if that happens? Or are we still believing in Pierce ROS?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Charles: Forsett all day long.

    • Charles says:
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      @Charles: Also is Latimer a drop now?

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Charles: yeah, looks like it.

  27. I got Jamaaled by a bear says:
    (link)

    I had Charles, Stacy, Tom Brady, RG3, oh and I also had Patterson on the bench…So clearly I got demolished this week.

    Just had to cry about it for a second, things will get better right?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @I got Jamaaled by a bear: Well, after that, they almost have to. You should probably call a priest just in case.

  28. TR says:
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    Hello! I’m a long time Razzball basketball fan but am just starting to use the football part this season.

    So I’m thinking that I’m gonna be a douchebag and capitalize on some of the newer players in my league that have good players who stunk week 1.

    First off, I’m trying to get Romo for Tannehill. He also has RG3 and I also have Big Ben

    Also, I offered my Roddy White, Gerhart, and Vereen for Jamaal Charles and Wes Welker

    Do you think these would be good trades for me? And if they are, am I delusional for thinking they’d get accepted?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      Well, yeah, they are great trades for you, and if they see that, it could ruffle some feathers. But you don’t know how they value players until you try. I would, at least, reach out to them with the trade and say, “just trying to gauge where the value is for so-and-so…”, something like that.

      • TR says:
        (link)

        @Jay: got it! Thank you

    • TR says:
      (link)

      @TR: My RBs are Lacy, Gerhart, vereen, And lamar miller (trying to pick up Forsett and/or West)
      And my WRs are White, Patterson, T Williams, Cooper, Benjamin, and josh gordon (praying so hard)

      • Jay

        Jay says:
        (link)

        @TR: Yeah, hopefully we’ll hear something on Gordon today.

        • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
          (link)

          @Jay: it’s not being a douchebag, if/when they say something to that effect simply tell them “i’ve seen trades like this happen before, so why not try”, if they are offended they’re the assholes. Some twit just tried to offer his boykin for my gordon, i didn’t flip out but simply told him with my last bench spot i’d rather gamble on a top 3 WR returning rather than another bench WR, since waivers are filled with boykin types. It’s more funny being sent offers like that than offensive.

  29. Gay 4 Grey says:
    (link)

    Some interesting players out there on waivers. Who do I add…C. Ivory, J. Dwyer, S. Greene, A. Bradshaw, B. Quick, J. Forsett?…And who from the team below do I drop?
    I’m thinking about dropping Miller and Boykin to add Ivory and Bradshaw.

    QB- J. Cutler
    RB- J. Bell, P. Thomas
    WR- A. Green, A. Brown, J. Nelson
    TE- J. Graham
    Flex- M. Crabtree, T. Smith
    Bench- B. Tate, T. Romo, F. Jackson, D. Sproles, J. Boykin, H. Miller

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Gay 4 Grey: I agree with Bradshaw, but I think I might hold on Boykin for now.

      • Gay 4 Grey says:
        (link)

        @Jay: Do you like Bradshaw more than Ivory?

  30. DA says:
    (link)

    12 team PPR, 6pt/passing td league

    QB: Ryan
    RB (2): Forte, Bell, Vereen, Ellington, Bradshaw, K. Davis
    WR (2): Wright, James Jones, Bowe, Britt, J. Gordon
    TE (1): Olsen
    Flex (1):
    K: McManus
    D/St: Streaming

    My team absolutely blew up in week 1. Thanks Matty Ice. However, I’m a bit concerned by my WR corps. If Gordon can get re-instated that obviously, changes everything. I’m much less confident in D Bowe after being at the Chiefs game yesterday and watching this dog crap team, bet the house on Denver this week if you’re a gambler… I’m hoping that Ellington plays tonight and I can flip him for a WR 1/2. Do you see any glaring issues with this team? I will be dropping Britt this week and will be looking to pick up the best WW claim. I’m thinking Forsett in hopes of Rice getting cut… Can never have too many RBs…

    • DA says:
      (link)

      @DA:

      Just to clarify, it’s LeVeon Bell.

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @DA: I’d drop Davis for Forsett and try to get the hot hand WR’s. In PPR you need more WR depth than RB…in my humble opinion. You can cut Bradshaw too

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @DA: it’s okay, just gotta pay close attention to the wire and drop Davis for Forsett.

  31. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Only seeing part of the Browns and Steelers game I had a couple different takeaways in regard to that backfield

    1) Pittsburgh’s Rush D must really suck, I think the Browns averages like 1 YPC last year

    2) West ran well but so did everyone else. For the eye test I like Crowell better, hits the hole harder and looked hungry out there. I doubt the Browns bench West but I’m betting on Crowell being relevant later if this first look is any indication of what’s to come.

    3) There is no three, pour yourself a Mark and kick back, you have worked your ass off in week 1

  32. SMLV1 says:
    (link)

    Drop MJD for – Ivory, Crowell, West, Sproles, Forsett, Hyde, Rainey, (Any saints RBs besides Ingram), Bradshaw or S. Jackson?

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @SMLV1: if PPR I take Sproles, west in standard

    • SMLV1 says:
      (link)

      Standard redraft league

    • SMLV1 says:
      (link)

      @SMLV1: List the top 3

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @SMLV1: West, Sproles, Forsett

      • Jay

        Jay says:
        (link)

        @SMLV1: Hyde, Bradshaw, Sproles.

        • SMLV1 says:
          (link)

          @Jay: I thought west would for sure be in the top 3? no?

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @SMLV1: I only disagree with Jay because if Gore stays healthy then he’s a split back in a so so offense.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @SMLV1: I like Hyde here.

  33. Chicken Dinner says:
    (link)

    Should I use #1 waiver on Forsett? Video of Rice may have forced Goodell’s hand.

    If not, how about Crowell or Rainey?

    My flex is L.Miller and Gerhart is Q.

    • my sisters friend boyfriend says:
      (link)

      @Chicken Dinner: I dont think goodell can repunish him but I do see the ravens possibly releasing him

      • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
        (link)

        @my sisters friend boyfriend: it is isn’t repunishing when there’s new evidence for in effect he did something else provable. Dragging woman out of elevator is less bad than punching out girlfriend first.

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Chicken Dinner: forsett over crow and rain

  34. Gay 4 Grey says:
    (link)

    If Rice were to be suspended for considerably longer (or to get cut, as some are now suggesting), how do you think things work out in the Ravens backfield? Does Pierce get the majority of the snaps? Does Forsett carve out a significant role?

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Gay 4 Grey: I’m not a Pierce fan, I really don’t like the Ravens offense at all but I would go forsett ahead of Pierce

  35. Gay 4 Grey says:
    (link)

    Pick one- Ivory, Bradshaw, Forsett

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Gay 4 Grey: forsett

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Jay: dah, you self homer

  36. Ron says:
    (link)

    I played Rodgers, Charles, Crabtree and Stacy on the same team this week. Are there better days ahead for all of these guys?

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Ron: yes but Charles may be a tough play all year with that line

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Ron: yeah, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry.

      • Ron says:
        (link)

        @Jay: I just so happen to have Megatron on that team as well so things are looking much better at this moment.

        Should Charles worry me? I know its early but is it too early to look for trade partners for him?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
          (link)

          @Ron: Yeah, funny how he can do that.

          For Charles, yeah, give it some time. I think it’ll turn out okay,

          • Ron says:
            (link)

            @Jay: Just got offered Jordy and Gerhart for Charles. Not enough right?

            • Jay

              Jay says:
              (link)

              @Ron: Not enough. They’re closer if they remove Gerhart from the deal…

  37. Wilsonian says:
    (link)

    Forsett over SJax or Smith Sr. on my bench?

    • Wilsonian says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian: West is also available.

      0.5 PPR

    • Wilsonian says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian: and could also dump Woodhead.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
        (link)

        @Wilsonian: I would hold there.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Wilsonian: West over Smith right now.

      • Wilsonian says:
        (link)

        @Jay: I went ahead and went for the kill shot hoping Forsett literally and figuratively runs away with the job and cut SJax for him. Here’s my bench right now:

        Forsett, Woodhead, Wallace, Hilton, Smith Sr., Locker

        Everyone but Locker would be rotating in with J.Bell at flex or fill-ins on BYE weeks.Still think cut Smith for West or stand pat right now?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
          (link)

          @Wilsonian: I’d stand then based off of that.

          • Wilsonian says:
            (link)

            @Jay: thanks man. A lot of action for Week 1. Good to have foosball back.

  38. Random Dude says:
    (link)

    With Rice cut… Forsett immediately #1 pickup

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      Yup!

  39. Fish & Friends says:
    (link)

    1/2 ppr league would you trade Andrew Hawkins for Carlos Hyde?

    Brees

    Megatron
    Reggie Wayne
    Cordarrelle
    Randle
    Hawkins

    Stacy
    Joique
    Dwyer
    Cunningham

    Jared Cook
    Ladarius

    Thanks!

    • Fish & Friends says:
      (link)

      @Fish & Friends: 14 team league if that changes anything, RB pretty thin

  40. Brion says:
    (link)

    Would you drop Spiller for Moreno?

    I have Brady and RGIII. Would you drop one of those to pick up Locker or Dalton?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Brion: No, I would hold here.

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