I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning (except Thanksgiving week!) for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

 Texans (-3) at Lions

Forecast: Thanksgiving wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a crappy Lions team playing in the morning game and your drunk Uncle Arlo yelling about his all-time favorite Lions player, Whizzer White. This is a matchup of Belichick minions with Matt Patricia and Romeo Crennel facing off—think we know who has the advantage. In honor of the holiday, Patricia will dress up as a turkey. Little does the Lions’ coach know, Matthew Stafford has a debilitating fear of turkeys—meleagrisphobia, it’s a real thing. When Stafford sees the enormous bird gobbling away on his sideline, he’ll run for the locker-room and never look back. With Chase Daniel tagging in for their meleagrisphobic QB, Detroit won’t stand a chance against J.J. Watt and the hungry Texans. Texans 31, Lions 17

Wager:  Texans -3 (4 Units)

2020 Season: 2-9 (-4.65 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 12 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a free trial and then only $5.99 for the rest of the season.

 

  1. BallsDeep says:
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    Hey man I’ve got a couple questions about who to start or sit for this week. Standard league I think either way I’m good with these two but are you starting Herbert or Josh Allen? Godwin or Kupp? Fournette or Zack Moss? Really hoping CMC comes back this week lol. Frank Gore, James White, McKissic, Kerryon Johnson are on the wire if you think I should drop Moss or Fournette for any of them.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Balls,
      Allen, Godwin, Moss.
      I’d hold the RBs you have.

  2. Louis says:
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    Help pick 2 WR & flex for half ppr: cooks, evans, Julio, Parker, curtis Samuel, sheppard & swift

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Julio, Cooks, Swift…then Evans if Swift or Julio doesn’t play

  3. hamtime says:
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    1. Start tannehill w confidence over stafford
    2. Finally time to drop Hollywood (god i hate him) for Lazard, mims, or perriman
    3. Jakobi at flex Over Julio w the hammy

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. I would but it not a slam dunk…going against consensus on that on
      2. Yep, Lazard
      3. Nah I’d play Julio if he’s active

  4. Cram It says:
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    What up DT? I’m in a deep league so most teams carry backups at every position, even Defense. I own Logan Thomas and Schultz at TE. Is Tonyan a set and forget upgrade over either of these? I’ve been starting the wrong guy every week anyway, so unless Tonyan eliminates that decision, I’m probably sit tight.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Cram,
      I have Tonyan in the same range as Thomas, so not set it and forget it. I do like him more than Schultz fwiw.

      • Cram It says:
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        That’s fair. Cheers.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Have a good Thanksgiving, Cram!

  5. Water boy says:
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    Hey man! Full ppr. For the fantasy playoffs which TE would you want?

    Austin hooper:
    Week 14 vs Baltimore
    Week 15 @ giants
    Week 16 @ Jets

    Robert Tonyan:
    Week 14 @ lions
    Week 15 vs panthers
    Week 16 vs titans

    Dalton Schultz:
    Week 14 @ cincy
    Week 15 vs SF
    Week 16 vs Eagles

    Thanks & have a great thanksgiving!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Water Boy!
      Hooper but it’s pretty much a coin flip between him and Tonyan and I could see changing my mind in the next two weeks.
      No problem, you have a great Thanksgiving as well!

      • Water boy says:
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        Thanks!

        I should’ve mentioned my other TE is Jordan reed . I just dropped on waivers early this AM hooper for Tonyan . If I don’t get hooper back I’ll just play matchups with reed & Tonyan

        Also, hold or dump Fulgham or ayiuk id be adding Tim Patrick

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Sounds good! I’d keep the receivers you have.

          • Water boy says:
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            Are you a beer guy like myself? If so, I recommend picking up on Friday goose island bourbon county stout. They come out every Black Friday. They are aged in bourbon barrels so if you hold them for a few years they get slightly more potent. The alcohol % on this when you buy it on the shelf is close to 14%

            Cheers!

            • Donkey Teeth

              Donkey Teeth says:
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              That’s one stiff brew. Thanks for the tip, Water Boy!

            • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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              yeah lots of companies make good high booze stouts in bourbon barrels, usually once a year. STL company schlafly makes it’s own irish stou right around paddies day for maybe 1.5 months it’s out. goose a CHI company. schlafly also used to make a 1/5 bottle size different imperial stout once a year that was very good (around 14-15%, the irish stout was probably lower at 9-10%)

  6. toolshed says:
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    I heard that McCaffrey is expected to practice today. I thought he was out this week. I planned on starting Davis at flex. Would you start gus edwards on Thursday instead in case McCaffrey plays. My 2 rb spots are locked in so flex is the only option I have. I also am benching lamb so I will be down a flex option if I don’t start edwards on Thursday and McCaffrey plays since I won’t be using Davis if cmc plays. Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      That’s a tough one. My read is that CMC won’t play but never know. Who would your other flex options be if you plan on Davis and CMC does start?

      • toolshed says:
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        I won’t have lamb since he plays on Thursday. I’d be left with deebo Samuel or watkins if they suit up and goedert. The rest of my roster are backup rb. I have my top 2 rb handcuffed and own bell.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Ravens postponement til Sunday helps you out!

        • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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          watkins is completely off the injury tag this time. he’s playing probably more than 80% of the time this week (and no pringle to steal anything anymore, was completely robbing d-rob and hardman (just last week on him, probably limited snaps since had corona for 2 weeks))

  7. Blake says:
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    Morning DT,

    Pick three

    Diontae, moss, monty, christian kirk, rojo, gio bernard

    I don’t feel great about Gio but figured i’d throw him in, see what you think.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Morning Blake,
      Diontae, Monty and then Gio/Rojo I have close so go with rojo if you prefer him. If monty doesn’t play then sub Gio in…

      • Blake says:
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        Yeah that is about how I was leaning as well. I like Gio’s matchup but RBs getting a lot of dump offs by a backup QB seems to be a myth – never seems to work that way.

        Thanks sir

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          No problem!

  8. betman says:
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    Waller or Swift ROS in PPR league?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Depends on the rest of your roster. Who are your other RBs and TE?

  9. William Hung says:
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    Word on the street is that Ertz could be back in W12 – but seeing how he was pre-injury, any concern that Goedert would be worse off? I feel like Goedert wouldn’t be impacted a whole lot considering the rapport that Wentz and Goedert have had

    • toolshed says:
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      Thank you, I was going to ask the same question. I think ertz looked like he was washed up or at least not the same guy before his injury.

      • William Hung says:
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        Yeah if anything, I’d think it’s Richard Rodgers who would see the decrease in snaps

        • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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          dick rod goes to almost no snaps just like when ertz/goedert were both last healthy.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Eh I’m not excited about Ertz but I do think he cuts into Goederts work a bit.

  10. toolshed says:
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    Do you think gaskin will resume the lead rb role for Miami? He will be designated to return today so that could be 3 weeks or less.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      My guess is it becomes a committee with Ahmed unfortunately but we’ll see…

    • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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      he was at practice a few things are currently assumed by most:
      1. gaskin back next week not this week
      2. gaskin gets majority of work when back

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Don’t think #2 should be assumed

        • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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          yeah i’d not want to start gaskin or ahmed on that first game from that being quite unknown. or if you own both might be forced INTO starting both if deep league or RB/flex problems.

  11. thekid2004 says:
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    Hey DT – Which trade do you prefer?

    Gio/JD McKissic for Diontate
    or
    Gio/JD McKissic for Claypool + Latavius

    Thanks & Happy Thanksgiving

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey kid,

      I prefer Diontae.

      No problem, Happy Thanksgiving!

  12. Dave says:
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    Need some advice for this week:

    .5 PPR

    Flex (WR/RB/TE) pick one:

    Gurley
    Mike Evans
    Brandin Cooks
    Mostert (if he is activated)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Gurley

  13. Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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    random season: 4-4
    against season: 6-2

    this week against: DET +3
    this week random: with you again, as it’s done most times HOU -3

    i just saw this apparently gaskin and ahmed went to the same college too, so MIA hoarded up the RB’s from where ever that was at super cheap prices.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      They went to Washington

  14. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    golladay out, where does hall go with that in relation to renfrow or r.james (IF the other SF WR guys remain out, clearly this isn’t james if some of those are back, of course how many is important too) or gab davis (if j.brown it out). 20 teamer i have this to start:
    QB: aaron
    RB (2) d-mont, chubb, mattison, ozigbo, henderson (possible flex)
    WR (3): mclaurin, perriman, renfrow, m.hall, r.james, gab davis
    TE (1): goedert (easy him if ertz not back yet), hurst (had put in flex last week, could be any of him, henderson, or one of the WR’s this week)
    IR (10): j-jax, golladay, hasty, shenault (gab davis or james is the drop when he’s back, but i want to SEE him do well first if possible)

    the hall or not decision is the only one that has to be made pre-sunday by tomorrow, unless mclaurin doesn’t play, then another WR plays.

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      2. also for different league (PPR), marv jones today or parker? your above ranking obv were made with golladay playing. top 20 PPR flex guys at FP have parker 3 (44th) spots higher than marv (47th).

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        after updating it to ONLY top 20 PPR flex guys and ONLY today (so i can be SURE everybody’s removed golladay and moved marv up whatever amount) it’s 45/46. swift sounds def out, but of course tua is def in (or at least seemingly likely)

  15. Trader says:
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    Carr at Falcons
    Taney at Colts
    Bridge at Vikes
    Jones v Bengals

    Seeking a high floor game from a QB as I am a solid favorite but it is fantasy. Standard scoring.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d go with Carr

      • Trader says:
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        Thanks! They have those games where they just run it so fingers crossed.

  16. The Harrow says:
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    watching KJ, yeah that GM is str up stupid to have brought in AP this year. and patricia is even worse for playing AP over KJ. i get wanting to draft a great prospect in swift no issue on that (but still, don’t think this team here could’ve used i don’t know, some line members on either side?)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I know, so frustrating. Just hoping he lands in a good spot in 2022, he’ll still be young…

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