Jam it or Cram it: Blame it on the Rainey

The possibilities are nearly endless with the Bobby Rainey references. Who knew Bobby Rainey would go off for nearly 35 fantasy points and start trending on Twitter? Some of my faves include #ItsRaineyMen, #NovemberRainey, #ChocolateRainey and #SomewhereOverTheRaineyBow. Personally, I went the Milli Vanilli route because I see Bobby Rainey more fraud than Grammy winner. Now and then something comes along that is just too good to be true. Ask Sky about his investment in Planet Hollywood. One of those things was the “band” Milli Vanilli. Back in late 80’s, early 90’s, your-humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru was trapped in Top 40 radio Hell and forced to spin tunes by MC Hammer, Wilson Phillips and Roxette. I refer to those four years as my “lost weekend.” Personally, I believe we all need a few lost years or decades in our lives. It’s hard to respect someone that didn’t completely piss away their life for at least a year or two doing something crazy like follow the Grateful Dead, travel with the carnival or marry a Russian bride. Unfortunately, I wasted my time playing the lip-sync hits from Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the rain. And the free cocaine. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hard Targets: John Carlson Returns Like Jesus

by: LT Murray IV

MFer I’m a monster in this game, similar to the Lochness. My writing’s nappy rooted, all my pieces have a process. Greetings all! Tis I, Beddict, back with more fantasy football goodness, and boy am I excited tonight. No, not because Chris Johnson scored 2 TDs on Thursday night football, but for the reason that more biblical fairy tales are being turned into movies. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been hungrily awaiting a Passion of the Christ sequel. We aren’t receiving that YET, but it’s bound to happen some day right. We can always count on Uncle Mel to deliver us the classics. Instead we get my main man Russell Crowe in the blockbuster, Noah, and man does it look scrumptious. While it doesn’t have Gibson’s maniacal touch, it does reunite Crowe with Jennifer Connelly as they, with God’s help, wipe the face of the earth of all other human life. The Elder Gods laugh hysterically about these children’s tails but one has to wonder how Hollywood has waited so long to turn these fascinating works of fiction into billion dollar hits. This is only the beginning as we should soon expect big budget pictures about Peter walking on water, the Ethiopian in the desert, the stoning of Stephen, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion’s den, and the aforementioned Christ sequel. I for one am praying on a trilogy depicting the battle of David and Goliath, Hobbit style. Peter Jackson would be a perfect fit in bringing these storybooks to life and if the Gods will it, Elijah Wood could even play the role of David. Hollywood is sitting on a goldmine and we are the main benefactors. Rejoice!

I should probably now write something regarding football since that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Let’s lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s Get Rishard’ed

November 12, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 237 Comments

by: Sky

I swear I mentioned this kid prior to tonight. I did a site search. I did a read through of the buy/sell columns. The only thing left was the podcasts and of course the week Brandon Gibson went down, I didn’t get to mention him. Ah well, just as my wife has kindly pointed out on multiple occasions, I can’t be right ever, er, all of the time. Ah well, maybe someone out there who reads me can remind me when I wrote or talked about Rishard Matthews. Well, no matter, it’s hard not to talk about him after his Monday night line. On a night that seemed anti-fantasy football on so many levels – and anti-good football in general – Rishard was the lone bright spot, racking up a nice 11 catch, 120 yard and 2 touchdown game on 14 targets. On a night where Miami totaled 2 rushing yards on the night, Matthews was the lone bright spot, drawing the weakest coverage while others got stranded on Revis island, Rishard was able to perform on a level even I was a bit surprised with. Moving forward, he’s a great WR4 or 5 for depth with use in deeper leagues but I wouldn’t buy heavily if this is the line that sparks my interest. Look more back at what Gibson was doing when Miami was successful and you have your target area. Anything more, you’re in the money. Of course, if the guys who are actually making the big money to catch the ball in MIA stay M.I.A., this might become the norm. No, I’m not gonna quote Black Eyed Peas. I’m mad at myself for even bringing them up with the title in the first place. In other news from Monday Night Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Matt Fuerte

October 21, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 222 Comments

by: Sky

There was a lot of buzz about the Chicago Bears offense heading into the season. B-Marsh was gonna have a great year and Alshon was going to improve upon a decent but unhealthy rookie campaign. Cutler was going to have his most productive QB year yet. And underneath it all, Matt Forte was just kinda there. Sure, much of the offense was tailored to a guy like Forte but in most rankings, Forte wasn’t cracking the top 5 running backs. I’m not just talking for myself here – I put him 14th in PPR for RBs…you can berate me in the comments -he was getting treated like what he has been in most seasons coming into 2013. A low touchdown back who had strong PPR value and would gain you over 1000 yards on the ground. Nothing to go crazy over by any means. But clearly the value-flip has switched. After today’s effort of 19/91/3 to go with 2/18 through the air, Forte is pacing out to be a guy that’ll clear 1700 yards on the year to go with 13 touchdowns and a whopping 80 receptions. I doubt the reception numbers on many levels but if he finishes in the 60 range, color me not surprised. He’s been a bit of an unsung RB hero this year in a draft full of disappointments and here’s me standing up and saluting Matt and his efforts. Let’s hope he doesn’t have to do it much with McCown moving forward. In other news from week 7 for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?