Few people know why the Packers are called “Cheeseheads.” It’s tradition: the worst Packer performer from the previous week is bestowed with a chunk of stinky Limburger cheese which is stuffed into the bottom of their helmet for the following game. In week 9, Aaron Jones took 8 carries for 30 yards and hauled in 1 catch for -1 yards. Needless to say, he was Mr. Limburger for their week 10 game against Carolina and their dairy boy tracked down an extra stinky piece of cheese for this contest. This wedge of stank carried such a putrid scent that the Panthers defense gave the Packer running back a little extra space to roam on Sunday afternoon. Aaron Jones took full advantage, rumbling for 93 yards and 3 touchdowns on 13 carries—he now has an impressive 14 touchdowns on the season. Rest of Season Player Rater has him listed as RB#10 and I’d even bump him a couple spots higher. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:
Aaron Rodgers – 17/29 for 228 yards. Is he still a top 10 QB? I’m not so sure, the consistency is hard to stomach. Just like that Limburger.
Davante Adams – 7 catches for 118 yards. Looks like he’s fully back. Guess they finally got all the turf out of his toe. I don’t understand what took so long.
Jamaal Williams – 13 carries for 63 yards. Still trying to keep up with the Jonesy, but everyone can tell JWill is just middle class.
Marquez Valdes-Scantling – 0 catches for 0 yards on only 1 target. Meet the new Mr. Limburger.
Christian McCaffrey – 20 carries for 108 yards, 6 catches for 33 yards and his 14th touchdown. The White Panther now has 11 rushing touchdowns which comes out to a pace of 19.5 touchdowns for the year. The last player with 20 rushing touchdowns in a season was Larry Johnson way back in 2006, when Palm Pilots were a thing.
Kyle Allen – 28/43 for 307 yards and his 10th touchdown. I gave the Kyle Allen over Cam Newton crowd some gruff in my roundup a couple weeks back. Apologies to the Kyle Allen fan club. I’m stupid, you’re smart. I was wrong, you were right. You’re very good looking, I’m not very attractive. Superman is grounded for 2019 and hopefully this isn’t Andrew Luck round 2 we’re witnessing.
DeVante Parker – 5 catches for 69 yards—nice. Preston Williams is sadly done of the year with an ACL injury. This has opened up a bunch of targets in Little Havana. Parker received 10 targets this week and looks to be the main beneficiary, but don’t be surprised to see sophomore tight end Mike Gesicki (3 catches for 28 yards on 6 targets) gain some steam in the coming weeks.
Mark Walton – Walton is now serving a four game suspension for three separate arrests earlier this year. Wait, three separate arrests THIS YEAR?! That’s right, and these arrests included a car chase with police along with charges of carrying a concealed weapon, battery, resisting arrest, reckless driving, multiple drug charges and a triple murder. Alright I made that triple murder one up but the rest is true. Can you imagine if this was Josh Gordon instead of Mark Walton? The NFL would’ve bypassed suspensions and gone straight to a hitman.
Kalen Ballage – 20 carries for 43 yards and 4 catches for 2 yards. Kingpin Walton opened the door for Ballage to get the ball 24 times in this game. He capitalized by averaging a puke worthy 1.88 yards per touch. Ballage? More like Aged Balls.
Jack Doyle – 3 catches for 44 yards and his 3rd touchdown. O’Doyle Rules now has touchdowns in back-to-back weeks. Doyle and teammate Eric Ebron (5 catches for 56 yards on a whopping 12 targets) are both decent tight end options especially if you can guess who’s getting that week’s touchdown.
Jaylen Samuels – 14 carries for 29 yards and 3 catches for 11 yards. If you like fantasy points, the afternoon slate wasn’t your friend. As for Samuels, the Steelers head to Cleveland for a Thursday night turd fest so there’s a chance James Conner (shoulder) still isn’t ready for that one.
James Washington – 6 catches for 90 yards and his 1st touchdown. When I was drafting James Washingbeard around pick 110 in the preseason I was hoping he’d have his first 70+ yard receiving game prior to week 10. It seems Mason Rudolph (22/38 for 242 yards and his 11th touchdown) is starting to remember he played with Washington in college, as they also connect for 69 last week. Yards, they connected for 69 yards. There might be more fantasy connections in their future.
Diontae Johnson – 4 catches for 64 yards. Pigskinonator had him down for 4.5 catches for 57.5 yards. Not bad, robot. Call me crazy, but Diontae looks like the best wide receiver on the Steelers. Rudolph likes to touch the Johnson and hasn’t shown much chemistry with JuJu Smith-Schuster (3 catches for 44 yards).
Todd Gurley – 12 carries for 73 yards. I’ve been saying to sell the Gurley Man since preseason and I’m not backing off now. He’s not getting the same workload he used to, the Rams are mediocre and you can’t trust him to be healthy in your playoffs when you need him most. It’s probably too late to sell Gurley for a Josh Jacobs or Derrick Henry, but a Marlon Mack, Mark Ingram, James Conner or Tevin Coleman might still be attainable.
Gerald Everett – 8 catches for 68 yards. He also saw a team high 12 targets in this one. Someone asked me for TE streaming options last week and someone else was surprised I didn’t mention Everett. It’s because he’s a top 10 TE and should be owned in nearly every league.
Robert Woods – 7 catches for 95 yards. Robert brought the wood in the second half to salvage a decent fantasy line. He had zero catches with under a minute left in the first half.
Josh Reynolds – 3 catches for 49 yards. Reynolds is the main beneficiary of Brandin Cooks’ concussion issues. There were positive reports on Cooks last week, but does that just mean he doesn’t have brain damage? Multiple concussions in one season gets very dicey, so Reynolds may have a job for the rest of the year. Give him a look if you need a receiver.
Cooper Kupp – 0 catches for 0 yards as he was skunked in this one. Equally as surprising, Kupp saw a season low 4 targets from Jared Goff (22/41 for 243 yards) in this ugly game where the Rams only points were scored by their defense and kicker. The Cooper Kupp buy low window may have cracked open this week, sneak your paw thru and see what happens.
Kyle Rudolph – 4 catches for 14 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. Christmas came early for Rudolph. Would you rather roster Kyle or the reindeer for the rest of the season?
Dalvin Cook – 26 carries for 97 yards, 7 catches for 86 yards and his 10th touchdown. Can you smell what Dalvin’s cookin’? It’s the #2 overall fantasy season. Prepare to spend a top pick on him in next years draft.
Alexander Mattison – 8 carries for 52 yards and 1 catch for 2 yards. Mattison is the top handcuff in all of fantasy. Make sure he’s owned in your league.
Michael Gallup – 4 catches for 76 yards and his 3rd touchdown. That’s back-to-back weeks with a touchdown. The second year wide-out is officially breaking out and he’s crept up into my top 20 receivers moving forward.
Dak Prescott – 28/46 for 397 yards and 3 touchdowns—he now has 18 passing touchdowns on the season. There’s a top tier of fantasy QBs: Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Russell Wilson and Deshaun Watson. Then there’s a tier right below them. This tier is called Dak Prescott.
Ezekiel Elliott – 20 carries for 47 yards and 2 catches for 16 yards. It’s a good thing the holidays are right around the corner, maybe someone will give Zeke some shirts that fit.
Randall Cobb – 6 catches for 106 yards and his 2nd touchdown. The corn was off the cobb this week. What does that mean? No idea, it’s getting late. What I do know is, I wouldn’t own Randall Cobb. Not even with your team.