I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning (except Thanksgiving week!) for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football (or Friday Night Football this week) predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Vikings (+7) at Saints

Forecast:  Championship week is upon us and we have Christmas football! In Drew Brees looked more like Drew Carey in his return from 712 broken ribs last week. Remember The Drew Carey Show? It was brutal but one good thing came out of the terrible show: Diedrich Bader nailed his role as Oswald Lee Harvey, landing him the future role of Rex in Napoleon Dynamite. What does this have to do with Drew Brees? Nothing, but I still don’t expect him to be anywhere near 100% against the Vikings on Christmas Day. Fortunately, it sounds like the already weak Vikings defense–who got whooped by Trubisky and Da Bears last week–may be without their best player, linebacker Eric Kendricks, so Drew Carey just might be able to cover the seven point spread. Grab your jingle bells and jump on the Saints. Saints 30, Vikings 21

Wager: Saints -7 (4 Units)

2020 Season: 4-10 (-3.05 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 16 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning (except Thanksgiving week!) for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Chargers (+3.5) at Raiders

Forecast:  This game’s all about Justin Herbert and his terrible hair cut. Or as Grey likes to call him after watching Hard Knocks, Doctor Hibbert. Hopefully we see Doctor Hibbert and not Doctor Nick who showed up two weeks ago against Belichick and the Patriots–that was straight malpractice. I’ve sent Herbert some hair implants so we should be getting another dose from the real doc. The only thing that can stop him now is if Darren Waller flips to linebacker. Mmmm I bet Waller would be a Hall of Fame linebacker. Chargers 27, Raiders 24 

Wager:   Chargers +3.5 (2 Units)

2020 Season: 3-10 (-5.05 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 15 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a free trial and then only $5.99 for the rest of the season.

I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning (except Thanksgiving week!) for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Patriots (+6) at Rams

Forecast: I was walking down the street the other day eating a falafel pita wrap when I ran into none other than Bill Belichick taking his pooch for walk. To my surprise, Bill stopped me and told me eat Subway instead. I argued with him about the nutritional value in a Subway sub–they’re bread can no longer be legally called “bread” in Ireland. Then Bill suddenly cut the sleeves off my best dress shirt and whispered into my ear, “Bet on us to cover Thursday night and don’t start any of our running backs, ever.” He was gone as quickly as he appeared. It was a surreal experience. And who am I to go against sweatshirt Bill and his trusty dog?  Patriots 27, Rams 20

Wager:   Patriots +6 (4 Units)

2020 Season: 3-9 (-0.65 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 14 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a free trial and then only $5.99 for the rest of the season.