Tehol’s Rankings: Top-200 (Standard)| Top-200 (Half-PPR) | Top-200 (PPR) | QB | RB (Standard) |  RB (PPR) | WR (Standard) |  WR (PPR) | TE (Standard) | TE (Half-PPR) | TE (PPR) 

We all vividly recall the gruesome Jimmy Graham patellar tear last season, especially, I, your thrice damned Lord. Immediately following that pathetic excuse of a football game, I returned to my safe haven, under a bridge in downtown Seattle where the Spoonman-man and myself railed pills and smoked peyote till the birds started chirping. And I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day. Even now as I type this, I have fallen to my knees, asking, no begging!, for the Elder Gods assistance in keeping Jimmy injury free in 2016 while we cruise to another Super Bowl victory, most likely in a revenge humping of the hated Patriots.

You see, my goodmen, Jimmy G is insanely underrated here; I believe the consensus has him around 15 or so and that’s just pathetic. Yes, the tight end position goes deeper than Kardashian snatch this season, but Graham has more talent in his smoothly shaved left nut than any tight end in the league other than Gronk and Jordan Reed. Graham is coming of the injury, and it’s possible he’s not ready for Week 1, but who cares!? Grab Dwayne Allen or Charles Clay and ride them like Seabiscuit until the God returns to us when we most need him. Seattle’s offense was beyond prolific to close 2016 and this is without Graham involved, so take a little guess at what happens when they incorporate Jimmy back into things? Mo’ money, Mo’ money, Mo’ money!

Anyway, I’m sick as a dog so I’m gonna drop these rankings on ya’ll right quick! I am Tehol Beddict and these are my preseason Fantasy Football Tight End Rankings! Take heed!

  1. Scott says:
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    Tehol!

    Had my first draft last night and got Latavius Murray in the 3rd round! Pick 42. Yahoo didn’t like it but Yahoo is stupid.

    • Scott says:
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      @Scott: I mean 4th round.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Scott: Scottie too hottie! The man, the myth, the legend! Yahoo is so worthless i swear to the Gaaaawds. I wouldn’t be concerned with what they have to say. Just know that the Lord loves you and have done incredible work on this day

  2. RotoLance

    RotoLance says:
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    I’m more interested in seeing who’s down on and who’s still high on Kelce this year and I see you are still more or less a believer. I hope you get to feeling better.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @RotoLance: LANCE ROMANCE! thank you, I’m sitting here with kleenex stuffed up my nose so that I may use both hands to type you this heartfelt message. I see no reason not to believe in him.. Do you?

      • RotoLance

        RotoLance says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Speaking of romance, Kelce was a major infatuation of mine last year but I think we learned the cold hard reality that his TD upside will be low-ish relative to other TEs. So I think he’s a high floor, moderate ceiling kinda player but I want to see him ranked outside the top 5 TEs so I can more easily acquire him. The Chiefs just don’t throw enough.

        • RotoLance

          RotoLance says:
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          @RotoLance: Errr, technically he was an infatuation for the past 2 years.

          • LT Murray IV

            Tehol Beddict says:
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            @RotoLance: he should be fine. but, yea, that stable of running backs is fiiiiiilthy, so maybe a ton of running but he should still finished near top 5 i would assume . I suppose someone like FLeener could pass him

  3. knucks says:
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    Tehol ranking some “tight ends”… and only one mention of a smooth left nut?? Hope you feel better man.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @knucks: they are asking for a more mature Tehol…… We shall see how it goes. thank you

  4. Big league choo says:
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    My 12 team ppr auction league keeper 200$ budget

    Do you the elder smile upon my team this year?

    Qb Wilson. (26$)
    Rb Gurley. (31$)
    Rb Ingram (7$)
    Wr Cooper. (21$)
    Wr Moncrief (1$)
    Wr John Brown (30$)
    TE Reed. (27$)
    K Bailey. 1
    DST Vikings. 1

    BN Zeke Elliott (36$)
    BN Tyler Lockett (13$)
    BN Mike Thomas. (1$)
    BN Hightower. (1$)
    BN Will Tye (1$)
    BN Rishard Matthews (1$)
    BN Agholor. (1$)
    BN Sammie Coates. (1$)

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Big league choo: Laaaaaaaawd, this team is beautiful constructed. A masterpiece of Elder God proportions. I give you my solemn vow that this one of the most stacked squads I’ve ever witnessed. guaranteed title.

  5. Shivdaddy says:
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    10 team, 6 points for qb TD. 1 Keeper @ round he was drafted. QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, Flex, Def, K

    First off, I dont have a first round pick this year as I went for it last year.

    Keeper Options

    Davonte Freeman *round 7 – could be round 9 if Brandon Marshal is kept by another owner
    DeAndre Hopkins *round 4
    Jordy Nelson *round 10

    I think you could make a case for each of them if you wanted. Please help me out here. My first pick will pick 14 overall.

    Thanks for any help!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Shivdaddy: no frist rounder? can i get the story on that? what did you trade? touchy subject?

      wow, one keeper. tough call. Nelson has so much value that deep as does Freeman. Is it PPR at all? if so i might lean Freeman but if not I think you have to take the value of round 10 considering you don’t have a one

      • Shivdaddy says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        I traded this years first round pick for Freeman last year, this was when Freeman was looking like a top 3 fantasy player. My thinking was keeping Freeman was the plan since it will cost me a late pick this year for a top 3 player and that would make up for not having a first rounder.

        I had one of those all time teams last year and when Bell went down I made the move for Freeman to attempt to lock up the championship.

        Thanks for your help.

        • Shivdaddy says:
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          @Shivdaddy:

          I just traded Hopkins last night so I am glad you did not say to keep him. Traded an 8th and Hopkins for a 5th. I am trying to flip Jordy now.

  6. Bigbear says:
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    Ladarius Green and TylermEifert will be top 12 TEs.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bigbear: not if they don’t play, baby bear

  7. Rondo says:
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    12-team .5 PPR 2 keeper league and I need help navigating my keepers and my first two picks. I included or format so that you can see we only need to start 1RB and could start 4WR if that helps with answering the questions.

    QB
    RB
    WR
    WR
    WR-RB
    WR-TE

    3 Questions:
    1) Who would be your top 3 keeper options from the list below in order? Next to each name is the round I would lose in the draft.

    Player – Round Lost
    C. Hyde – 11
    A. Robinson – 4
    K. Allen – 3
    B. Cooks – 6
    K. White – 14
    K. Benjamin – 10

    2) I have pick #8 in the draft. Below are the top 12 on the draft board. I know I have no shot at Brown, Jones, Green, etc., but who should be my top 3 targets from the 8th spot?

    Top 24 on the draft board
    Antonio Brown
    Julio Jones
    A.J. Green
    Ezekiel Elliott
    Adrian Peterson
    Dez Bryant
    Jamaal Charles
    Keenan Allen
    Le’Veon Bell
    Amari Cooper
    LeSean McCoy
    Eddie Lacy

    3) In the second round, below is the next set of players available. Snake draft so I have the 5th pick in this round. Who should be my top 3 targets from this list?

    Demaryius Thomas
    Golden Tate
    Jeremy Maclin
    Randall Cobb
    Sammy Watkins
    Matt Forte
    Doug Baldwin
    Carlos Hyde
    Dion Lewis
    Jordan Reed
    Jarvis Landry

    Thanks!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Rondo:

      1. Id probably go Hyde, Robinson, Cooks, tho its tempting to take the value of White.
      Allen is nice at 3 as he gets ton of targets this year . very tough call. you know what, id probably just go Hyde Robinson Allen, for three best players.

      but i you want to keep a higher pick, switch Cooks with Allen

      2. Well, I’m seeing Keenan Allen there so if you think he’s worthy of that pick, use one of your keepers on him please. Then Swoop Dez Bryant or Le’Veon Bell and thank me later. Elliot choice 3

      3. Again, if you can get Hyde in 11th with you keeper take him off here. and take

      1. Watkins
      2. Thomas
      3. Reed – if you keep Allen Robinson and Allen you might bump Reeed up

    • Sean says:
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      @Rondo: random fantasy football enthusiast/experts opinion
      Part 1 keep Allen robinson, Cooks and Hyde. I think cooks outperforms Allen this year anyway and is available at a better cost. Cooks is also in a better offensive situation and a slightly better QB and better health track record.
      Part 2 (assuming green, brown and jones are gone) I woud want Ezekiel Elliot if he is there as he is prime to be a top 3 back with the best O line in football on a team looking to run to keep romo healthy. Also that O-line made backs like darren mcfadden and lance dunbar look like great runners and that is with romo injured. Elliot has the tools to stay on the field all 3 downs and catch passes. I would be happy to get Dez ( I am a diehard eagles fan too if that helps, I am not being biased here) there then if those 2 are gone I would look to get your personal preference of who you think will be the best of Le’veon, Charles or AP. The rest have a slightly lower ceiling than the other players upside imo.
      Part 3. I like Watkins then Thomas then Reed in that order to round out the team if you keep the suggested players. Other players to consider there cobb, tate, maclin (again all three are close with cobb maybe having slightly higher upside in that offense).
      Bonus part 4 players I don’t like in your lists that I would avoid
      LeSean Mccoy at that price tag, not enough Td’s better options at that point in the draft
      Matt Forte too high to take him too much talk of Powell stealing some workload, on the wrong side of 30 still a good player but peak physical skills are erroding.
      Baldwin I like but repeat in TD production is unlikely and might be more evenly spread distribution with Lockett getting more involved and Grahm possibly returning and stealing Red Zone looks. Again good player just unlikely with the balance of that offense and strength of the defense to repeat quite as gaudy numbers as last year.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Sean: that was glorious. seems you agree with me on almost everything tho. I will contact you when I need my next article written.

      • Rondo says:
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        @Sean: Sean my good man! Awesome response and much appreciated. All opinions are welcome. Thanks for taking the time.

  8. Nick says:
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    What up Tehol!!! Its that time of year again!!! Have my draft this upcoming week so I’m sure I’ll be lurking the posts here at Razzball. No questions yet but my research has only just begun

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: NICK the quick! you can lurk here anytime you want, my friend. enjoy

  9. Yoda Pillow says:
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    I’m in a dynasty league where we can keep up to 4 players, but simply lose the rounds draft pick if we keep anyone. We can keep guys for 3 years and trade them in the offseason after their third year. Anyways, I have brown, lacy, Mike Evans, Matt jones, and Russell Wilson. I was thinking of just keeping brown, lacy and Evans and getting the 4th round (pick 48)

    It’s my last year to keep brown and lacy. Do i play them out for the year and trade next offseason or Trade now?

    A few offers – dez, aj green, Hyde , and maybe a draft pick for brown and lacy – this would give me three good wrs and require me to trade one of them for a running back or draft pick .

    Trade odb for brown straight up

    Allen Robinson, draft pick, tj yeldon (if I want) for brown

    Allen Robinson / gurley for lacy/brown ?

    Thanks and let me know what you think.

    • Yoda Pillow says:
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      @Yoda Pillow:

      I also have Randall Cobb as a potential keeper and I forgot to add that it is a half point ppr, 12 man league

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Yoda Pillow:

      wow! I LOVE IT! id flip brown and Lcy for Dez Green and Hyde every day of the week and 3 times on Sundays.

      semi intrigued with the Robinson and Gurley trade as well if you get to keep longer.

      Going back to the first paragraph, when did you draft Lacy? he looks good but if you got to dump next season you may want the pick and keep Jones

      • Yoda pillow says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:
        It’s my last year to keep Lacy, too.

  10. Hometown Heroes says:
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    I’m in a 12 team 2 we keeper league where keepers go up $5 each year. I have Cam Newton for $30, Gronk for $27, David Johnson $2, Hopkins $24 and Michael Floyd $5.

    I am interested in Lamar Miller at $8. Would you trade Gronk, Cam or Hopkins for him at that price? Thanks again!

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