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Welcome back everybody to this week’s edition of “Derp Imprints”, our recurring series at Razzball where we take a look at our favorite merchandise with Eli Manning’s dopey face printed on it. First, let’s gaze into Eli’s post-interception eyes on a nice t-shirt… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this will instead by another installment of Deep Impact, and also that I shouldn’t make fun of Eli since he can’t help the fact that he looks like that. For those of you who haven’t been following along, well why haven’t you been following along? Are you too good to read some fantasy advice?? How’d you wind up on this site to begin with then? Well while you’re here, might as well check out these recommendations for deep league starts and stashes that are less than 10% owned in Yahoo. Or, click the banner link to find out more about Marie Callender’s pot pies, if that’s something you would rather do with your free time. But before we jump into names, allow me to share a brief story that I promise is relevant to this week’s article.

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Atlanta Falcons v New Orleans Saints

Welcome back to the Week 3 edition of By The Numbers. I’m writing this from one of my favorite cities on the entire world – New Orleans. In fact, I’m in a bit of a haze as I pen this. Maybe it was all the huffing, or quite possibly the hookers, who knows? Either way, The French Quarter never disappoints. After I’d had my fill of the “Vieux Carre” I was deep in thought as I traveled back to my humble Midwest estate. It came to my attention that the Saints were playing host to the Atlanta Falcons this week. If you’ve followed the numbers at all the past few years then you’re well aware that it doesn’t get much better than Drew Brees at home. Maybe he adds an extra dose of NyQuil into his lean on Saturday nights or Sean Payton really knows how to whip up some magic jambalaya. Whatever the case, he’s absolutely nails in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Over the past two seasons Brees has averaged 324 yards and 2.87 touchdowns per home game, while producing 292 yards and 1.87 touchdowns on the road. That extra production has helped New Orleans win 68.9% of their home games since 2010, while winning just 52.2% of road contests during that same period. This week he’ll feast on a weak Atlanta pass defense which allowed 299 yards through the air and three touchdowns to Derek Carr in Week 2. Two weeks ago this was the same group that yielded four touchdowns and 281 passing yards to Jameis Winston, while generating zero sacks. With just two weeks worth of data to sift through, Atlanta has already given up seven passing scores against zero interceptions. The Falcons are allowing the third most fantasy points (28.7) in the league to opposing QBs, 12th most fantasy points to WRs (24.9) and they’re ranked second-worst in the league in points allowed to opposing TEs (15.7). In other words…..They’re way below average. Whether you’re playing the daily game or season long fantasy (or both) you obviously want a piece of the Saints’ passing attack in you lineups if possible. Don’t let last weeks low scoring affair scare you away from Brees’ and his tiny hands. He was still able to complete 65 percent of his passes against the Giants and he dropped back 46 times in that contest. This is perhaps the most pass happy attack in the league – averaging 343 yards and 2.5 scores through the first two weeks this year. This game currently holds the highest O/U of the week at 53.5. Hopefully that excites you like it excites me. I currently have a Drew Brees rager you could hang a hat on. Anyway, remember to check out Jay’s rankings and Rudy’s “Pigskinator” to help you dominate your league. They’re without a doubt two of the best in the industry. Without further delay, here’s a look at some stats and facts that might help you win your matchups this week:

ST. LOUIS, MO - NOVEMBER 15: Todd Gurley #30 of the St. Louis Rams leaps over Antrel Rolle #26 of the Chicago Bears as he carries the ball in the first quarter at the Edward Jones Dome on November 15, 2015 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)

What’s up Razzballers (or Razzballas if you’re not one for the “Hard R”) and welcome to this week’s edition of Beyond the Numbers! Looks like all of our rosters are getting put the test early on this year, so I hope you’re using your bench wisely. Injuries, combined with some poor play from “elite” players, are proving why depth is so important in fantasy football.  You’ve got no excuse to still be sporting duds on your team; coaches have shown what kind of offenses they want to run this year, and quarterbacks have heavily targeted the guy they want to be involved. I’ll give you guys some good names to target below, but first, let’s start with the guy everyone seems to have questions about.

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Houston. I hate to be the one, but you are not very good… And I know I can be a bit hyperbolic when it comes to making fun of Thursday Night Football, but honestly, why do we never get normal football? It’s either derp level 10 or a complete snore fest. And unfortunately, last night was the former, and I’m not even sure the Texans ever made it into field goal range the entire game. And you’re expanding this to Twitter for more exposure? So I can see all the dumb comments from New England fans in real time? Seems good. You know, I joked in last night’s live thread that Bill Belichick was enacting his “great strategy” to go undefeated during Brady’s absence, but he’s doing something much more dangerous than that. He’s giving the Boston media reason to start hyping 16-0. Oh god.

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Hunh, that’s weird. A prime time Patriots game not against the Colts or Broncos? No Tom Brady still? Gronk still questionable? A third-string quarterback starting? The first black quarterback to start for the Patriots… ever? ALL THE QUESTION MARKS? Yeah, so this should be an easy loss for them. *Looks at matchup* LOL, nevermind. The Texans travel to Boston, bringing with them a quarterback that we’ve affectionately (I think?) labeled as Brock Lobster (hey, when there’s low-hanging fruit, go for it brah) that continues to prove to everyone what simply shouldn’t be provable, that John Elway might have been right about something. Despite providing an underwhelming first two weeks, Lamar Miller and the emergence of Will Fuller have eased the blow to all Texan fans. All six of you. Meanwhile, as was touched on before, we are basically watching Bill Belichick’s biggest strategic gambit pay off, as he has decided to punt the first three weeks of the season and still win all of those games just to assert dominance over the AFC. This may seem less impressive when they’ve beaten the Dolphins and what was an under-achieving Cardinals, but then you realize that about 88% of their team has been deflating balls or getting shoulders and legs exploded during that time…

Note: Rankings have been released and can be found here!

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Welcome back to the streamer article.  We scored some touchdowns last week and some week 1 names turned in better performances in week 2.  I feel a lot better about the picks and I think we have a nice slew of streamers this week especially at the quarterback position.  As for the running back position, I am going to stay away from it.  I don’t like any of the match ups coming up this week from the bloodbath of running back injuries.  If I had to pick one, it would be Fozzy Whitaker from Carolina coming off of a 100 yard performance in relief of Jonathan Stewart.  If you are looking for running back replacements you should check out M@’s week 3 waiver wire article and he can help guide you through it.  Or you are always welcome to ask me in the comment section.  Without further ado, here are your week 3 streamers, ownership percentages brought to you by Yahoo as of Tuesday evening…

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It has not been a good start for owners of Golden Tate. Not only does he have a stat line of 9 receptions on 16 targets for 54 yards, but newly-acquired Marvin Jones has been ballin’ to the tune of 12 receptions on 21 targets for 203 yards. To make matters worse, Jones was drafted 3-4 rounds later in drafts. The Jones Truthers are “Living La Vida Loca” right now and for good reason. Coming into the season, Jones and Tate were said to be 1a and 1b. After Week 2, it sure looks like Jones is the bonafide #1 now. Is he? I keep hearing about aDOT (Average Depth of Target) as one of the main reasons why Tate will be polishing Jones’ cleats but, I went back and watched the game against the Titans. My conclusion?

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Just in case you missed it (aka, didn’t scroll down a few inches… that’s what she said), I delved into my rankings in a new series called “Rankings Revisited“. There, you can find an expansion of how well or how bad my weekly numbers did, and that’ll be the place to berate or praise my prowess. I would say that this has been a rough start, but if there wasn’t a history of success, and the fact that (and I checked to make sure) last season, my first two weeks were none-too-spectacular, I’m not worried. Last year, I ranked 54th in the first week and 85th the second week. The two weeks after that? 18th and 12th, respectively. What are the reasons for such a slow opening? I can’t answer that for sure, but I can say that if you look at last season’s writers in the top-10 for accuracy, most of them finished all over the map. I know it’s crude, but I think it’s because no one knows anything until they actually see real football. It’s crude as I said, it’s also easy. I don’t want to blame it on that, buuuuut, it does seem like the logical explanation. You know how we’ll know for sure? You guessed it… when the results for our Week 3 rankings come in. Behold, they are here, and hopefully, they are good. And speaking of good, did you know we have weekly projections? Rudy’s “Pigskinator” finished fourth overall in accuracy last week, and honestly, if you’re looking to find an edge (I’m looking at you people that are in high-stake leagues), I’m pretty sure you should check out our tools

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As you all know, we are part of the FantasyPros Accuracy Rankings series, a site dedicated to tracking all the Fantasy “experts” of the world (some say universe) and then ranking their week-by-week accuracy, their main goal being to provide a way that you, the reader, can decide which advice to consume. I personally like consuming everything just as long as a little salt and ketchup is involved, but then I should probably temper that statement before you think I’m a cannibal. Look, I don’t pretend to know how their process works (the breakdown is here), but I think it does provide an great tool to help the fantasy community. I’m for tools everyone! Well, it just so happens that I’m for transparency as well. As you all know, along with my rankings, I’ve always included my accuracy front and center, and I’m happy to point out that we were in the top-25 percentile my first year, and last year (my second running the site), we were in the top-20 percentile. What’s different this year is that FantasyPros as integrated a new rankings system, and on top of that, given us data on our accuracy for our own purposes. Because of my aforementioned affinity for transparency, I’d like to start sharing that information with everyone, so you can see what I did wrong, what I did right, and what I did to your mom. I was gentle maaan, relax.

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Greetings! I come to you, live from the waterbed of a vixen, freshly slain, lying next to me, quivering in a frothing pool of sweat after I gave her the Lord’s chalice. What a week I’ve had my good men, I tell ya! It’s good to be back in the saddle, as I feel like this post brought me back closer to my roots. It has nothing to do with the fact this woman just sucked the life out of me and spat it on my back, or maybe it’s the fact I doubled my Wellbutrin, but either way, I’m thinking I’m back!

I am Lord Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

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Well, that got ugly fast. And I’m not just talking about this week’s Jaguars – Chargers game. That was an entirely different level of ugly. This week is why so many people have been adopting the zero RB strategy when drafting. They don’t want to risk taking a running back early because of the chance of injury, and they know they will be able to watch the waiver wire and read my handcuff report in order to get a running back or two during the season. If you play fantasy football, there is a good chance one of your running backs got hurt this week. If you drafted Adrian Peterson around the 2nd round or Danny Woodhead or Ameer Abdullah a few rounds later, this was not your week. If you went zero RB or waited a bit too long for running backs like I did in a few of my leagues, this is the week you were waiting for. As far as we know right now, though, Woodhead is the only back to go down who is definitely out for the year. The other two question marks are AP and Abdullah. Neither has a timetable for their return right now. Everyone else should be back in a couple weeks.

Anyway, let’s get to it… 

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We all knew the NFL was a brutal sport. That’s nothing new. Yet, we’re often so surprised when injuries happen. Guys like Carson Wentz can get molly-whopped all over the field by the Bears Monday and come out totally fine, but shifty running backs like Danny Woodhead can just make a cut wrong and see ya later 2016 season. Yes, Woodhead was lost to a torn ACL on Sunday (and no…you won’t find Kenneth Farrow on this list), but he wasn’t alone. The Jest WR corps all got banged up after lunch, a slew of RB didn’t make it out of their contest in the afternoon (Doug Martin, Thomas Rawls, Ameer Abdullah, Arian Foster (what?!? no way…!)), and then in the evening the machine malfunctioned. When Adrian Peterson couldn’t walk through the food court back to the Vikings locker room every Minnesota and fantasy football owner collectively gasped. “Oh, please no. Not now. Anything but this. First our Twins, then our QB, and now our messiah.” You know, something like that. Freaking injuries… The hits just keep coming for Minnesota, and yet the Vikings keep winning.

For fantasy owners you have to take the injuries in stride, as their bound to impact your team in a negative light sooner or later. So, guess what? That’s where this little article comes in handy! Have no fear, because the next man up in Minnesota is more than capable of carrying the load until the king returns in over a month, and he’s more than capable of slotting into your lineup to bring great value in the interim. And no…I’m not talking about Matt Asiata…

Below are the top six targets to, well, target from the waiver wire leading into Week 3!

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