**VIDEO RELEASED BY ANIME DONKEY TEETH PRIOR TO WEEK 5**

I watched my first boxing match on Saturday night since Conor McGregor “fought” Floyd Mayweather four years ago. I must say, the big dudes this weekend were quite entertaining. I especially enjoyed the theatrical entrances to the ring from Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury—it was like the movie 300 meets the Dave Chappelle’s Prince skit. Game. Blouses. But my goodness, Wilder was pummeled by the Gypsy King in that heavyweight bout. The only ones beat up worse than the Bronze Bomber this weekend were the New York Giants who lost Saquon Barkley to a nasty-looking sprained ankle, Daniel Jones to a concussion and Kenny Golladay to a hyperextended knee. But as the old saying goes: when one ankle swells to the size of a doggy door, another buy-window opens. Devontae Booker may only have a week or two in the limelight, but if Sunday was any indication (16 carries for 42 yards, 3 receptions for 16 yards and 2 touchdowns), Booker should see a heavy workload until Barkley is back and should be added everywhere. That’s not the only Giant buy this week, though. First-round rookie Kadarius Toney erupted for 189 receiving yards on 10 receptions. Captain Obvious here again to tell you Toney is worth a roster spot in your league. Yes, your league too. The kid might have catapulted himself into the alpha role for the Giants, which is a very fantasy-friendly role as they’ll be playing from behind often this year. Toney and Booker with be two of the top adds for week 6 with Toney possibly holding substantial value for the remainder of the year. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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When I last bought a CD, my face was covered in acne and I was rocking an all-maroon sweat suit and some kind of hybrid between a mullet and the infamous pretty boy Bieber-do. The year is unknown, but I strolled into the local pharmacy (this is truly where I bought my blank CDs) and perused the isles for a stack of CD-RWs to burn some Fall Out Boy and Yellowcard onto. Now, as I’m writing this week’s buy/sell column, I can still hear the lyrics, “Dance, dance… We’re falling apart to half time…” echoing in my head. For CeeDee Lamb’s fantasy owners, those lyrics hit at another level this past weekend, as the Cowboys’ star wideout was held without a single catch in the first half of Dallas’ Week 4 game against the Carolina Panthers. Lamb ultimately finished with two catches for just 13 yards, ranking outside of the top-45 fantasy wide receivers for the second-consecutive week. That, my friends, gives us the perfect buy-low window heading into a Week 5 matchup with the Giants. For Lamb, a player who was averaging 12 targets through Week 2 of the campaign and has the luxury of one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL in Dak Prescott at his disposal, it’s nearly impossible to imagine his stock getting any lower at any point this fantasy season. So, yes — in a world where even iPods have become obsolete, I am telling you to go out and buy some CeeDees. As many as you can, and quickly — because there’s no telling how long this product will even be on the shelves. Damn you, corporate America and your painful production delays! We should have never outsourced semiconductors in the first place. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

**VIDEO RELEASED BY ANIME DONKEY TEETH PRIOR TO WEEK 3**

There’s a lot of pressure on this week’s lede buy as he’ll have to follow up week two’s buy Najee Harris lede and week three’s buy James Robinson lede. Those are some big shoes to fill. And you know what they say about filling big shoes: it takes big feet, with big socks. Are you aware that Damien Harris wears size 27 shoes? Those are unconfirmed measurements based on the eye test—let’s call it size 27 plus or minus 16 sizes. But I’m not here to argue about exactly how large Harris’s feet are, all that matters is he can fill some shoes. After handling 39 carries over the first two weeks, the Patriots’ RB took only 6 handoffs against New Orleans, on his way to a piddly 14 rushing yards. Running the ball just wasn’t in the cards this week as the Patriots played from behind the entire contest against the Saints.  As we saw over the first couple of weeks, fantasy owners often overreact to one or two terrible games, so there’s likely a  buy-window cracking open for Harris in many leagues, and that window might actually open wider after the Pats face a tough Tampa run D in week 4, but it’s still worth sparking up trade talks now with James White is also injured. The volume and fantasy goodness may not return for another week but expect mid to high-end RB2 production for the rest of the season from Harris. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Have you ever had a new neighbor move in next door and throw a huge housewarming party? No big deal as long as they invite you to the party, right? But when you don’t get an invitation and they’re up into the wee hours of the morning blaring Garth Brooks, then there’s trouble-a-brewing. That’s pretty much what happened when Urban Meyer arrived in Jacksonville and decided to give Carlos Hyde 9 carries and James Robinson just 5 carries in week 1. As a James Robinson supporter, I have to admit I was a bit unsettled by the late-night Carlos Hyde music, and more than a little nervous about what the future might hold with Urban Meyer now living next door. But Robinson was on the field for twice as many snaps as Hyde in that week 1 contest, so no need to call in a noise complaint just yet. Robinson posted another disappointing fantasy line this week against Denver, but the silver lining here is that he out-touched Hyde 14 to 2. And don’t forget Denver has a very solid defense which limited Jonathan Taylor to just 51 rushing yards on 15 carries in week one. The Robinson owner is likely disenchanted by this poor early fantasy production from J-Rob, so put some feelers out there and see if you can take advantage of early-season frustration and impatience. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

I haven’t slept in 72 hours in anticipation of NFL football &*Fihfd—sorry, dozed off for a second there. Just need to make it a few more hours to watch Darren Waller cover the Raven’s defense in hot fudge and eat them for week one dessert. Speaking of dessert, after you treat one of your leaguemates to a week one entree of butt whooping, why not go back for a dessert course of consensual trade intercourse? Rookie Najee Harris had a disappointing NFL debut with only 45 yards on 16 carries with 1 catch for 4 yards in week one. But on the plus side, no other Steeler running back touched the ball. Any way you cut it, that’s a big vote of confidence for a rookie runner. I also expect the Bills run defense will prove to be near the top of the league and the Steeler offense will improve in the coming weeks, in spite of their subpar offensive line. So dangle a couple of buy-low offers out there for Harris and see if you can snag a potential RB1 from an owner over-reacting to one week. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarterback is so important this year. The best have been great (except for Lamar Jackson) and there have been some breakouts! Chances are that if you drafted or scooped up a rookie QB off of the waiver wire, you’re pretty happy right now. It’s kind of rare that the top 3 quarterbacks taken in an NFL draft are so fantasy relevant in their rookie season. It’s even more surprising because just one rookie quarterback began the year as the starter under center.

But it’s not just rookies that are shining. Kyler Murray had a good rookie year and has made his second year campaign an even bigger deal. Many of us expected this with the addition of DeAndre Hopkins, but there was clearly still value in his draft price. Josh Allen hadn’t had a 300 yard passing game in his first two seasons coming into this year, but yesterday, he threw for over 300 yards in the first half against Seattle. I have four names to get to this week. Let’s get started.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

People come up to me and they say, “MB, this is it, this is the biggest Tuesday of our lives so far.” I must say that I am confused. Every Tuesday from the start of the season to the fantasy football trade deadline is a big Tuesday. Stealin’ or Dealin’ comes out! They say, “No MB, the presidential election! This election could save or doom the next couple of decades in this country.” Excuse me, but is Kanye West giving you advice on how to manage your fantasy football team? Between making shoes, Gap clothes, making unlistenable music, and foreign policy I’m not so sure he can tell you how much trade value Kareem Hunt has once Nick Chubb returns from injury. They say, “MB, there is more to life than fantasy football, can’t you see that?” Of course I can! I’m not that dull. There is fantasy baseball too and Grey is already putting out rookie profiles. Anyways, here are some buys and a sell for week 9!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seven weeks of NFL action are now in the past and the sample size makes it more difficult to find easy trade targets. But there is still value and volume to be found in both the trade market and on the waiver wire. Be sure to check out AlFFred AKA the BOOF’s waiver wire article that came out earlier today. In this week’s edition, every player’s situation is in some way affected by an injury on their offense. 

Sometimes a player’s misfortune leads to a new opportunity in this dog eat dog world of fantasy football. But on the bright side, we will soon be getting a few of fantasy stars back in line ups. By week 9, we should have Christian McCaffrey, Nick Chubb back and although news hasn’t been great with Michael Thomas the last couple of weeks, he could be back in the fold that very same week. Keep those names in mind as targets as you are sending out trade offers this week to teams that are desperate for wins now to stay alive for the playoff hunt.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two Monday night games sounds great in theory until I look up and it’s 9 o’clock at night and my stomach hurts from overeating take out (there’s no time to cook when you have 6 hours of football ahead of you) and I still have an article to write. Was the mediocre at best football worth it? Yes. Yes it was. Another question that I am currently asking myself is how a fantasy football analyst like myself can be so bad at prop bets? Nothing seemed like more of a lock to me than Patrick Mahomes getting 3 touchdowns or Stefon Diggs getting 80 receiving yards. But it was CEH night and Diggs was held or interfered with on a couple of opportunities to make big plays. It is what it is. 

Last week was a little weird for the trade market with a Tuesday night football game. We are back to a normal schedule this week and have a Thursday night football game as well. Giants and Eagles! Woo Hoo! If you are unaware when your trade deadline is, that might be something that you want to look in to. Here are a few buys and a sell to look into as we are near the halfway point of the fantasy football season. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I usually write this while I watch Monday Night Football. But I will not be watching MNF. I will not watch the Saints until they put in Jameis Winston. It’s been sad watching the box score through the first half. I don’t understand the Taysom Hill plays, I don’t understand the dedication to Drew Brees. I guess New Orleans could be a destination for Dak Prescott when he’s healthy, eh? After not being able to reach a deal with Dallas in the offseason and suffering an unfortunate gruesome injury, I would be surprised if Dak signs in Dallas on anything team friendly. Jerry Jones has given Dak the runaround on a new contract the last two offseasons while Dak is just trying to get a fair deal in an ever changing market. If you look at the deals that Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson received, Dak wanting 40 million per year wasn’t so crazy after all. The fantasy market is changing at a much more rapid pace than the quarterback market, so let’s get to the buys and sells for week 6. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?