Think back to eleven months ago when it was NFL Draft SZN and the Cincinnati Bengals had the fifth pick in the 2021 draft. They just finished a 2020 season where they went 4-11-1 and lost their prized rookie quarterback, Joe Burrow, to an ACL injury. Before Burrow went down, stud rookie wide receiver Tee […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
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I want to take you back about six months or so and give you $1,000 to bet on a few teams to make the NFL playoffs. I want you to bet on the sure things. Just some easy money for future you to enjoy.
On September 1, the Chiefs, Bills, and Bucs were all heavy favorites to make the postseason (and, surprise!, they did). Those teams were all greater than -400 to play past Week 18 and met expectations for those betting on their futures. But there was one more team that looked like a lock for the postseason based on their odds: The Baltimore Ravens.Please, blog, may I have some more?
A lot of things, and I mean A LOT of things, went wrong for the Falcons in 2021. They were supposed to have one of the more dynamic aerial attacks in the league with Calvin Ridley and rookie mega-man Kyle Pitts leading the way. Matt Ryan led the world in pass attempts in 2020 and the Falcons were top-10 in passing rate per game. But when the dust settled on the season, all that offensive hope vanished into the humid Georgia air.
The Falcons may have gone 7-10, but you wouldn’t know it to look at them. I swear to you, the season highlight video from their own team website prominently features a game where they needed a last second field goal to beat the freaking New York Giants:
With Calvin Ridley missing in action, Pitts hauling in just one score, and Mike Davis off somewhere trying to bribe other teams to sign free agent Cordarrelle Patterson, determining a buy and a sell for this sad sack franchise is a tall order. But I think I’ve cracked it. Let’s get into it for 2022.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s the lasting, final image of the Arizona Cardinals’ season. The one fans have to live with for eight months. Kyler Murray throwing an interception that was so bad it drove The Rock to the bottle. lmaooooooo, the Rock hit the bottle after watching that Kyler Murray pick six pic.twitter.com/ihFsweDshv — CJ Fogler AKA Perc70 […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m not sure what the record is for lowest word count in a published article at Razzball, but I get I can beat it. Here goes:
“Buy Javonte Williams. Sell Melvin Gordon.” – Kirksey
– 30 –
There really is no other way to spin what we saw on Sunday night for the Broncos. Javonte is the new sports car finally unleashed on the highway while Melvin Gordon is the old family mule, limping around in the back of the barn, waiting out the end of its days.
Of course you want to buy Javonte Williams, especially like a game on Sunday, but the price tag now may be ultra prohibitive, especially in dynasty formats. I saw a lot of hot takes on Monday saying Javonte Williams is the new RB2 in dynasty behind only Jonathan Taylor. “Easy to refute,” I thought. But then I thought, and thought, and thought some more. Maybe Najee Harris. Maybe De’Andre Swift. Maybe Antonio Gibson. But it’s not as crazy as it sounds.
Jonathan Taylor and Javonte Williams are on another level 🔥 pic.twitter.com/DEaYzscMei
— PFF Fantasy Football (@PFF_Fantasy) December 6, 2021
And Javonte has 101 fewer carries that Jonathan Taylor. Plunder the 401K, sell the Bitcoin, just do whatever it takes to buy Javonte Williams.Please, blog, may I have some more?
**VIDEO RELEASED BY ANIME DONKEY TEETH PRIOR TO WEEK 5**
I watched my first boxing match on Saturday night since Conor McGregor “fought” Floyd Mayweather four years ago. I must say, the big dudes this weekend were quite entertaining. I especially enjoyed the theatrical entrances to the ring from Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury—it was like the movie 300 meets the Dave Chappelle’s Prince skit. Game. Blouses. But my goodness, Wilder was pummeled by the Gypsy King in that heavyweight bout. The only ones beat up worse than the Bronze Bomber this weekend were the New York Giants who lost Saquon Barkley to a nasty-looking sprained ankle, Daniel Jones to a concussion and Kenny Golladay to a hyperextended knee. But as the old saying goes: when one ankle swells to the size of a doggy door, another buy-window opens. Devontae Booker may only have a week or two in the limelight, but if Sunday was any indication (16 carries for 42 yards, 3 receptions for 16 yards and 2 touchdowns), Booker should see a heavy workload until Barkley is back and should be added everywhere. That’s not the only Giant buy this week, though. First-round rookie Kadarius Toney erupted for 189 receiving yards on 10 receptions. Captain Obvious here again to tell you Toney is worth a roster spot in your league. Yes, your league too. The kid might have catapulted himself into the alpha role for the Giants, which is a very fantasy-friendly role as they’ll be playing from behind often this year. Toney and Booker with be two of the top adds for week 6 with Toney possibly holding substantial value for the remainder of the year. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I last bought a CD, my face was covered in acne and I was rocking an all-maroon sweat suit and some kind of hybrid between a mullet and the infamous pretty boy Bieber-do. The year is unknown, but I strolled into the local pharmacy (this is truly where I bought my blank CDs) and perused the isles for a stack of CD-RWs to burn some Fall Out Boy and Yellowcard onto. Now, as I’m writing this week’s buy/sell column, I can still hear the lyrics, “Dance, dance… We’re falling apart to half time…” echoing in my head. For CeeDee Lamb’s fantasy owners, those lyrics hit at another level this past weekend, as the Cowboys’ star wideout was held without a single catch in the first half of Dallas’ Week 4 game against the Carolina Panthers. Lamb ultimately finished with two catches for just 13 yards, ranking outside of the top-45 fantasy wide receivers for the second-consecutive week. That, my friends, gives us the perfect buy-low window heading into a Week 5 matchup with the Giants. For Lamb, a player who was averaging 12 targets through Week 2 of the campaign and has the luxury of one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL in Dak Prescott at his disposal, it’s nearly impossible to imagine his stock getting any lower at any point this fantasy season. So, yes — in a world where even iPods have become obsolete, I am telling you to go out and buy some CeeDees. As many as you can, and quickly — because there’s no telling how long this product will even be on the shelves. Damn you, corporate America and your painful production delays! We should have never outsourced semiconductors in the first place. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
**VIDEO RELEASED BY ANIME DONKEY TEETH PRIOR TO WEEK 3**
There’s a lot of pressure on this week’s lede buy as he’ll have to follow up week two’s buy Najee Harris lede and week three’s buy James Robinson lede. Those are some big shoes to fill. And you know what they say about filling big shoes: it takes big feet, with big socks. Are you aware that Damien Harris wears size 27 shoes? Those are unconfirmed measurements based on the eye test—let’s call it size 27 plus or minus 16 sizes. But I’m not here to argue about exactly how large Harris’s feet are, all that matters is he can fill some shoes. After handling 39 carries over the first two weeks, the Patriots’ RB took only 6 handoffs against New Orleans, on his way to a piddly 14 rushing yards. Running the ball just wasn’t in the cards this week as the Patriots played from behind the entire contest against the Saints. As we saw over the first couple of weeks, fantasy owners often overreact to one or two terrible games, so there’s likely a buy-window cracking open for Harris in many leagues, and that window might actually open wider after the Pats face a tough Tampa run D in week 4, but it’s still worth sparking up trade talks now with James White is also injured. The volume and fantasy goodness may not return for another week but expect mid to high-end RB2 production for the rest of the season from Harris. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
Have you ever had a new neighbor move in next door and throw a huge housewarming party? No big deal as long as they invite you to the party, right? But when you don’t get an invitation and they’re up into the wee hours of the morning blaring Garth Brooks, then there’s trouble-a-brewing. That’s pretty much what happened when Urban Meyer arrived in Jacksonville and decided to give Carlos Hyde 9 carries and James Robinson just 5 carries in week 1. As a James Robinson supporter, I have to admit I was a bit unsettled by the late-night Carlos Hyde music, and more than a little nervous about what the future might hold with Urban Meyer now living next door. But Robinson was on the field for twice as many snaps as Hyde in that week 1 contest, so no need to call in a noise complaint just yet. Robinson posted another disappointing fantasy line this week against Denver, but the silver lining here is that he out-touched Hyde 14 to 2. And don’t forget Denver has a very solid defense which limited Jonathan Taylor to just 51 rushing yards on 15 carries in week one. The Robinson owner is likely disenchanted by this poor early fantasy production from J-Rob, so put some feelers out there and see if you can take advantage of early-season frustration and impatience. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
I haven’t slept in 72 hours in anticipation of NFL football &*Fihfd—sorry, dozed off for a second there. Just need to make it a few more hours to watch Darren Waller cover the Raven’s defense in hot fudge and eat them for week one dessert. Speaking of dessert, after you treat one of your leaguemates to a week one entree of butt whooping, why not go back for a dessert course of consensual trade intercourse? Rookie Najee Harris had a disappointing NFL debut with only 45 yards on 16 carries with 1 catch for 4 yards in week one. But on the plus side, no other Steeler running back touched the ball. Any way you cut it, that’s a big vote of confidence for a rookie runner. I also expect the Bills run defense will prove to be near the top of the league and the Steeler offense will improve in the coming weeks, in spite of their subpar offensive line. So dangle a couple of buy-low offers out there for Harris and see if you can snag a potential RB1 from an owner over-reacting to one week. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quarterback is so important this year. The best have been great (except for Lamar Jackson) and there have been some breakouts! Chances are that if you drafted or scooped up a rookie QB off of the waiver wire, you’re pretty happy right now. It’s kind of rare that the top 3 quarterbacks taken in an NFL draft are so fantasy relevant in their rookie season. It’s even more surprising because just one rookie quarterback began the year as the starter under center.
But it’s not just rookies that are shining. Kyler Murray had a good rookie year and has made his second year campaign an even bigger deal. Many of us expected this with the addition of DeAndre Hopkins, but there was clearly still value in his draft price. Josh Allen hadn’t had a 300 yard passing game in his first two seasons coming into this year, but yesterday, he threw for over 300 yards in the first half against Seattle. I have four names to get to this week. Let’s get started.Please, blog, may I have some more?
People come up to me and they say, “MB, this is it, this is the biggest Tuesday of our lives so far.” I must say that I am confused. Every Tuesday from the start of the season to the fantasy football trade deadline is a big Tuesday. Stealin’ or Dealin’ comes out! They say, “No MB, the presidential election! This election could save or doom the next couple of decades in this country.” Excuse me, but is Kanye West giving you advice on how to manage your fantasy football team? Between making shoes, Gap clothes, making unlistenable music, and foreign policy I’m not so sure he can tell you how much trade value Kareem Hunt has once Nick Chubb returns from injury. They say, “MB, there is more to life than fantasy football, can’t you see that?” Of course I can! I’m not that dull. There is fantasy baseball too and Grey is already putting out rookie profiles. Anyways, here are some buys and a sell for week 9!Please, blog, may I have some more?