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Welcome to the back half of my top 30 rookie WRs! Kudos to the degenerates reading this, as you’re obviously in a deep dynasty format. If you’ve been following my offseason process, you know what I look for when ranking prospects. If you are a first timer please check out this article explaining my general rationale. 

Additionally, you can see the ascent and decline of various WRs since February with my pre-combine rankings and post-combine rankings

There are some major shakeups now that we know draft capital and landing spot. There were some bubble guys that got surprising draft capital and some late round picks falling into nice situations that got a bump. After the 3rd round, I weigh draft capital a little less round to round. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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As I watched the early parts of day two of the 2020 NFL Draft, the excitement began to build in my nether regions. Denzel Mims was slipping and my Bears were only a couple picks away in the second round. When the Bears were on the clock and Mims was still there my loins reached maximum tingle. But in a move which surprised absolutely no one, Ryan Pace drafted the Bears tenth tight end in Cole Kmet.

Seven picks later the Bears were back on the clock and Mims was still there! Of course, Mr. Pace again passed. Guess us Bears fans should just be happy we didn’t draft another tight end. That was the point where I decided watching a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon with my imaginary girlfriend would be a less painful way to spend the rest of my Friday night. Later that night I went ahead and poked my eyes out. Anyway, I gave you my updated top 10 dynasty rookies yesterday, so here’s my updated top 20 rookies for 2020 PPR dynasty leagues: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know that feeling after you’ve been on a week long drug bender and you’re finally coming down from the high? That’s how I feel today. And not just because of my week long drug bender. The 2020 NFL draft high gas come and gone too. On the plus side, we now know what team’s all of the shiny new rookies will be employed by, so we can stop guessing at that piece of the puzzle. Now we can start guessing at other pieces of the puzzle such as the impact of COVID-19  on the rookie class’s acclimation to their respective systems, what their immediate opportunity will look like and what Mike Vrabel’s sons are up to. Before the draft I gave you my pre-draft top 10 and top 20 rookies for 2020 dynasty leagues. Now here’s my updated top 10 rookies for 2020 PPR dynasty leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 41:

The price of oil hit -$37 per barrel yesterday. That’s not a typo, NEGATIVE 37 dollars! As in, they’ll pay you $37 to take a barrel of oil off their hands. So I told my oil guy to mark me down for 1,000 barrels. Figure I should be able to fit at least 900 barrels in my bathtub and then a couple dozen in the kitchen sink, right? Hope so, because I already spent my $37,000 on Chicago Bears season tickets. Da Bears are even throwing in a 20-pack of N95 masks as part of the deal this year. To avoid thinking about how the Bears will blow this years draft picks (at least we don’t have a 1st rounder to waste) I’ve compiled my top 20 rookies for 2020 dynasty football—went over the top 10 rookies last week. Obviously we don’t know landing spots or draft capital yet, so take these rankings with a chaser of West Texas crude. Anyway, here’s my top 20 rookies for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 36:

I’ve been watching that new show Devs on FX starring Nick Offerman aka Ron Swanson. As the great Ron Swanson once said, “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t show a man to fish, feed yourself. He’s a grown man and fishing’s not that hard.” Fishing for rookies isn’t hard either. There’s a bunch of talented ones and, as Devs has shown us, there’s infinite realities. So all these rookies must pan out as superstars in some reality or another. Nobody really knows which reality we’re in or who’s actually going to be good. We’re all just casting lines and pretending we know what we’re doing. Also, ranking these guys before the NFL draft is like fishing without bait. But I’m hungry and the grocery store shelves are getting picked over. Anyway, here’s my top 10 rookies for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 32: 

This virus is really throwing a wrench in our economy as well as our professional sports enjoyment. Have you seen the latest proposal for the 2020 Major League Baseball season? I’m not talking about that whole Arizona/Florida restructured league proposal with the 30-team playoff. The latest idea on the table is one where Elon Musk and Richard Branson fly all the baseball teams to the moon where they’ll play the entire season without gravity. Even Tim Tebow with be launching dingers into orbit.  This is especially exciting because if all goes well, rumor has it the NFL season will be played on Mars. In anticipation, Bill O’Brien just traded Deshaun Watson for a cardboard cutout of Buzz Lightyear. Anyway, I went over my top 15 dynasty tight ends last week, here’s my top 30 tight ends for 2020 PPR dynasty football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 31:

 I sneezed yesterday and my girlfriend (still imaginary) kicked me out of our virus bunker. I’m now writing this from the back yard where I’m sheltering in place under my handmade wigwam shelter. Finally all of those episodes of Naked and Afraid are paying off. I’m not afraid out here but I am very naked. Hope the neighbors don’t mind. Actually, as a Bears fan I’m beyond afraid of our quarterback situation. Remember when the Bears drafted Trubisky over Mahomes and Watson? You do? Damn, was hoping that was just a bad dream! Anyway, here’s my top 40 quarterbacks for 2020 dynasty football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 28:

My life has been reduced to friends asking me if I’ve seen a T.V. show and me telling them, “No, I haven’t seen that show.” Then they tell me I should see that show and I say, “I’ll add it to the list.” But there is no list and I won’t watch that show. Because I’ll forget since I don’t have a list. What a paradox! But if I somehow remember to watch that show, there better not be any surprise subtitles. If you’re recommending a show that has subtitles, etiquette dictates that you disclose this subtitle stipulation in your recommendation. Don’t be a heathen! People need to mentally prepare for what they’re getting into. Like right now I’m about to share some 2020 dynasty football rankings with you, so I’ll forewarn, there’s reading involved and there’s no audio book available just yet. Hopefully you’ll still stick around for my top 80 wide receivers for 2020 PPR dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 27:

Hey all you cool cats and kittens. Did you see the story about the tiger at the Bronx Zoo that tested positive for coronavirus? Very sad. I blame Carole Baskin. Not just for the infection of this poor feline, but for the entire COVID debacle. Speaking of which, the CDC just released some new guidelines and in order to receive a COVID-19 test in the United States you must now meet at least one of these requirements:

     a) Politician

     b) Professional athlete (Major League Soccer doesn’t count)

     c) Movie star (Porn does count)

     d) Valued tiger at the zoo

And if you check all four boxes the CDC even throws in a free roll of TP. So far only one man has cashed in on that free roll of one-ply: my preferred 2020 presidential candidate, Darren Waller. Anyway, here’s my top 15 dynasty tight ends for 2020 fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 25:

I made a fire in the yard today while pondering my 2020 dynasty rankings. As I gazed into the flames, a series of vivid images began to appear. The Lord of Light was sending me a divine message about dynasty quarterbacks. Or maybe the mushrooms I had eaten were starting to kick in, hard to say. Either way, a life-size image of Kyler Murray arose from the blazing inferno. The meaning was clear, this dull and uneventful 20th year after 2000 will forever be know as the year of Kyler, and nothing else. Anyway, here’s my top 20 dynasty quarterbacks for 2020 fantasy football:   

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Quarantine Day 20:

Time is a flat circle. A circle which begins to look like an octagon after 20 days of solitude in my underground virus bunker. The eight points represent the number of times per hour that I breakdown crying divided how many days I’ve been out of toilet paper. I’ve been spending my days deep in philosophical and metaphysical discussion with my new best friend, a football by the name of Wilstoner. The football’s a real free thinker. On the topic of free thinking, I gave you my top 20 and top 40 dynasty wide receivers for 2020 fantasy football a week or two back. Or maybe it was a month or two back, I don’t even know anymore. This quarantine time octagon has me all mixed up. Anyway, here’s my top 60 dynasty wide receivers for 2020 fantasy football co-authored by Wilstoner the football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two weeks ago I detailed my elaborate self-quarantine plans in the top 40 dynasty running backs post. Unfortunately, we’ve finally reached the tipping point here in the United States. Now I’m in day 3 of self-quarantine, doing my part to help “flatten the curve” and protect our healthcare system. But don’t even think about asking for any of my lotion stockpile, you should’ve taken heed to my warning two weeks back. I have countless hours of dynasty rosterbation ahead. On a related note, can someone please explain why people are buying up all the toilet paper, yet baby wipes are still fully stocked? Are people unfamiliar with the miracle of baby wipes? Anyway, while you’re bored in isolation, take a look at all of our dynasty and rookie rankings for 2020 fantasy football. I went over the top 20 dynasty wide receivers last week, now on to the top 40 dynasty wide receivers for 2020 fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?