‘Twas the night before election, when all through the country,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Gronk;

The ballots were handled by the USPS with careless regard,

In hopes that a sub-70-year old president soon would be ours.

I can’t wait to get all this nonsense behind us on Tuesday. It’s like Christmas Eve, minus the cookies, plus a bunch of nasty political ads. So nothing at all like Christmas Eve. What I’m referring to, of course, is the 2020 NFL trade deadline which passes on Tuesday. What did you think I was talking about? There’s sure to be lots of baseless rumors and plenty of disappointment in the cards for my Bears, as usual. One player who we know won’t be on the move at Tuesday’s deadline is Tom Brady, who went 28/40 for 279 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 20 passing touchdowns on the season. Pigskinonator had Brady down for 290 yards and 2.17 touchdowns while ranking him as it’s #6 fantasy QB for week 8. Damn, that’s one smart pig robot! It’s not too late to sign up for a free trial of Pigskinonator and all our great tools! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football: 

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I’ve been to my share of church services over the years: white, black, Asian, Catholic, Presbyterian, subdued, musically inclined, traditional, and new age. Regardless of the congregation, bells and whistles, or place of worship, it’s always been about the sermon. A good sermon hits me right in the feels and gets me to come back for more. It’s not just about the message, though. There’s delivery, style, and enthusiasm, which differs from pastor to pastor. But pastors are human, so they get sick or have to travel from time to time. As a result, guest pastors make an appearance. Sometimes for the worse, but sometimes for the better. When the latter occurs, I incline from my recline, move my ass to meld with the back of the pew, transform into a perpendicular, and let me eyes and ears injest the lovely goodness. Which is exactly what happened on Sunday at the Church of Red Zone when I was expecting Joshua Kelley and Justin Jackson to lead the Chargers, but instead it was Troymaine Pope who kept popping off the screen and delivering. Who is Pope and can he continue delivering?

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I came to a realization over the last week. There’s only one thing in the universe worse than the New York Jets, and that’s political commercials. Actually, there’s only one thing worse than political commercials: leaves. So there’s two things worse than the Jets. I know, I was surprised by the realization myself. But I spent three hours on Saturday collecting leaves from every orifice of my yard and body. The wind in the Midwest was wicked Saturday night, so by Sunday morning I was picking twice as many leaves out of my underwear. That gale-force wind was one of the big storylines of Sunday’s NFL games too, as it made passing tougher than watching a New York Jets game. One player not affected by those winds was Dalvin Cook who returned from his groin injury to handle 30 carries for 163 yards, 2 catches for 63 yards and his 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th touchdowns. That makes 11 touchdowns in six games! He’s now on pace for and incredible 25 touchdowns in just 15 games. I need to try me some of that groin injury stuff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

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Happy day after Halloween! It’s nice to get an extra hour of sleep. Well that is depending on which state you live in which is something I learned recently. I think Arizona and Illinois don’t have daylight savings anymore. Maybe some other states. Wait so… Nevermind I’m really going to confuse myself. I don’t want to start thinking about what time it will be in Chicago tomorrow when it’s time to kickoff. Wait, the Bears are a late afternoon game?! But hey, daylight savings could lead to Q tags being active! It’s an extra hour, after all. That’s how it works, right?

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Team: Minnesota Vikings

Opponent: Green Bay Packers

WR1: Adam Thielen

Shadow Coverage Matchup: Jaire Alexander

Adam Thielen vs. Shadow Coverage
Opponent Games Rec Yards TDs PPG
All Other Opponents 26 5.4 66.4 0.6 12.8
Vs. Shadow Coverage 8 5.8 82.4 0.9 16.4
Vs. Jaire Alexander 2 7 117.5 1.5 24.3

Historical Production vs. Shadow Coverage

Adam Thielen has been one of the best WRs when facing shadow coverage throughout his career. This includes three great performances in 2020 vs. Jaire Alexander in week 1 (6-110-2), Bradley Roby in week 4 (8-114-1) and A.J. Terrell (3-51-1). Now I am not going to sit here and say this is the murderers row of cornerbacks, but even before 2020 Thielen has been very consistent when facing shadow coverage which is reflected in his 16.4 PPG.

Season Long Recommendation – Start

To say Adam Thielen has Jaire Alexander’s number is an understatement. In 2 career games in his coverage Thielen has dominated him securing 7 – 117.5 – 1.5 while averaging a robust 24.3 PPG. This game will be in Lambeau and early indication is it will be cold and windy. This will be the first time Thielen will face Alexander in shadow coverage on the road so maybe another 20 point performance is out of the question. That being said, with Green Bay 6-point favorites the expectation is the Vikings will need to throw early and often to keep up. That is why Thielen is a must start season long player.

DFS – Price FD $7,700 / DK $7,200

Adam Thielen is rated as a top 5 WR on both sites meaning he will need to have another monster game to return value for you in week 8. His historical production vs. Alexander suggests that he could do it again, but in 2/3 games in Green Bay he has been held under 100 yards and had zero touchdowns. Call it a hunch but Thielen might be a DFS fade this week on the road. Players I would pivot to include A.J Brown vs. CIN and Tyreek Hill vs. NYJ.

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He probably doesn’t remember this, but The Joey Wright — former film critic and Frozen 2 aficionado — has changed my life before. You see, in the effort to diversify Razzball holdings into all realms of the media world, we had a short-lived film studio named RazzWorkz, where we leveraged Grey’s ties to A-list celebrities to greenlight independent and gritty films. When I submitted my spec script, Nunchuckers 3: Hail Terry — my coming-of-age movie about Terry McLaurin teaching a group of nuns to play football to save their charter school’s tax-exempt status — it was The Joey Wright whose critical review ended my screenwriting career. Joey said my script was, and I quote, “Worse than Air Bud 6: Mile High Pup, that movie where Patches the Pup spends spring break in the Rockies touring dispensaries and learns a lot of life lessons.” And now, to rub salt in the wound, The Joey Wright has re-taken the lead in the Razzbowl for the second time. So, let’s turn the tables, and now I’ll play the critic to Joey Wright’s Razzbowl sequel. 

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My week had nowhere to go but up after Monday night’s Bears/Rams ticklefest. Tuesday I had a prostate exam and Wednesday I had a colonoscopy; everything was great. But then Thursday came along. The Falcons vs. Panthers shootout we were promised was a total misfire. The Falcons D was determined to avoid embarrassment at least one week this season. Only one Panther fantasy asset was immune to the intense pressure brought on by the Atlanta defense: Curtis Samuel, who turned his 3 carries and 4 catches into 23 rushing yards, 31 receiving yards and his 2nd and 3rd touchdowns of the season. That’s three touchdowns in the last two weeks for Samuel, and with his consistent usage in both the pass and run game, he’s starting to look like a decent desperation WR3 moving forward. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

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We have sort of an exciting week for start and sit. There are some smaller names with great match ups and that makes this more fun to write than usual. It might give me a chance to differentiate from other sites’ start/sits. Because every fantasy site and blog has a start/sit column, right? At least I hope so. These match ups are juicy and not terribly hard to find. By now, we have a pretty good idea which defenses to stack against and which matchups to try and avoid. Let’s start with a TNF play at the quarterback position.

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Week 7 was such a bizarro week for tight ends. Harrison Bryant lead the way with Gronk in 2nd. Kittle was down at 13th and Kelce down at 26th. Albert Okwuegbunam finished above both of them. Well, let’s see what we can figure out with the rankings. 

Read all of the QB, RB and WR Razzball Rest of Season Positional Rankings now!

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Week 8 is upon us and its crunch time for our fantasy season. Most league’s regular season ends week 13 or 14, so we are in the crucial weeks of the season that can shape the playoff landscape in your league. You‘ve been navigating injuries and the bye weeks and it is now extremely important to find productive players to put in your flex spots. That is exactly why I write this column, to help you make these tough decisions and win your weeks!

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Welcome to Razzball’s dedicated gambling column-Teasers and Pleasers! Each Thursday during the NFL season, at 11:00 am EST, TnP will post our top bets for the upcoming week. Just sit back and win some money with us in 2020.

Another winning week in Week 7! These best bets are now 11-4 over the last 15 selections. The model is in a groove right now, and we are hoping it stays there. There are plenty of resources used to make these selections, but many of the key ones can be found right here at Razzball.

Whether you play fantasy football or are in the business of making player prop bets, Rudy Gamble’s Razzball Membership Tools are a must-have. He is giving away a FREE 7-day trial of all the tools you need to cash this week!

Now let’s get to it! Week 8 picks for your betting pleasure.

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I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Atlanta Falcons (+3) at Carolina Panthers

Forecast: The streak is alive and well! I’m like the Adam Gase of picking Thursday night games—0-17 here we come. On this week’s Thursday night touch fest we have a mismatch of predators. How is a falcon supposed to compete with a panther? Normally the falcon doesn’t stand a chance, but this flock has a secret weapon: The Toddfather. Having lost to the Panthers at home back in week five, the Toddfather will be looking to serve up his cold dish of revenge. And even while wearing his two gloves, Teddy won’t be able to handle the frigid dish—a recipe which great-great-great-grandmama Gurley first served to great-great-great-grandpapa Gurley. Look for a vintage Todd Gurley four touchdown line as the Falcons peck away at the Panthers in primetime. Falcons 42, Panthers 24 

Wager: Falcons +3 (4 Units)

2020 Season: 0-7 (-11.55 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 8 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

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