Donkey Teeth

D’Andre Finally Brings Swift Justice

October 19, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 74 Comments

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I don’t have any kids. I’ve seen pictures and heard stories of the elated feelings of paternal pride when children take their first steps or bring home an A+ on their spelling test, but it’s not something I’ve ever experienced first hand. On Sunday I got my first taste of what I imagine that sense of pride must feel like while watching the Bears/Panthers game with my lady. As the medical staff gingerly loaded an injured Carolina defensive player onto the cart, my imaginary girlfriend says to me, “What do you think happens if a player poops their pants? Do they ask for the cart to be brought out so they don’t have to hobble their way back to the locker room?”  It’s a great question and one that I can’t believe I never considered. You know at least one of these big guys craps their pants each week. How many phantom injuries have occurred in the name of soiled drawers? But one player who didn’t crap their pants in week 6 was rookie D’Andre Swift, he took 14 carries for 116 yards, 3 catches for 7 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. Those who speculated that Swift might be a bigger factor after the Lions bye week were right on, as he saw two more carries this week than his first four games combined. It’s hard to trust Patricia and the Lions, but there’s a chance Swift is a solid RB2 rest of season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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MB

Week 6 Sunday Fantasy Football Primer

October 18, 2020 | Fantasy Football Gameday | 78 Comments

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It feels like forever since we’ve had pro football without there being a Thursday night game. I’ll tell you what, it was a blessing in disguise. If there was TNF, I wouldn’t have gotten to see my new favorite conference in college football. The Sun Belt. I watched the Coastal Carolina game on Wednesday night and was thoroughly entertained for 3 hours, but little did I know that Georgia State and Arkansas State was going to blow it out of the water. These two teams combined for 111 points and that blew the over/under out of the water by 39 points. Everyone on offense had so much space to do whatever they wanted, it was hilariously bad. It was much needed entertainment considering that the Big Ten will be back this week and I’ll have to watch my Hawkeyes struggle to score 20 points some weeks. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Roto-Wan

Under The Hood: Monty’s Python

October 17, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football | 13 Comments

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It looks like we’re going to get week 6 in after a rash of false positives. Let’s enjoy it. As flu season approaches many viruses will share the symptoms of COVID. Our favorite players may miss more games than we’re prepared for. Anywho, let’s pop the hood on the week that was.

  • The next back to get a ride on the Falcons cushy matchup carousel is David Montgomery. Monty has posted back to back weeks of an 80%+ snap share, accompanied by 14 total targets. The groin must be better. He’s the man in that backfield with Tarik Cohen lost for the year.
  • A.J. Brown’s return was one of the few things to go right for Tennessee prior to beating the Bills. Their WR cupboard was bare aside from the sophomore. That led to 9 targets and a productive 7-82-1 line. Even with the full complement of pass-catchers in the opener (the only other game Brown played) Brown still saw 8 targets. He should be good even with other options returning.
    • Please, blog, may I have some more?
everywhereblair

Razzbowl Recap — Week 5

October 16, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy, RazzBowl | 8 Comments

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At Razzball, we pride ourselves in the quality of our readers, because it sure takes a wise fantasy manager to dodge some of the hot taeks that we dish out. Lamar Jackson as QB1? What the hell were you thinking, Blair? Certainly, what I meant to write in the preseason QB article was that JUSTIN HERBERT WOULD BE QB7 BY WEEK 6! Yes! That’s what I meant! 

And why does it matter that we have smart readers? Glad you asked! Some of you know that I, EverywhereBlair, was a Razzball originalist dating back to 2009. And look where I am now! In Grey’s basement with a Capri Sun and a bag of Cheetos writing fantasy football articles. From fan to fantasy analyst, you could do it too! 

Why am I hyping our fans’ intelligence so much? Because one of our fans, Curtis Jones, has taken the #1 spot on the Razzbowl leaderboard. Congrats, Curtis! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
MB

Start/Sit Week 6: Back The Brady Bunch

October 16, 2020 | Start/Sit | 44 Comments

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Le’Veon Bell pulled the ultimate fleece on the New York Jets. Well, either that or the Jets fleeced themselves by signing Bell and then hiring a head coach that wouldn’t use Bell correctly. Gase and Bell were a match made in Hell from the beginning, so the end result is not a surprise at all. 

Le’Veon Bell expressed frustration about his usage after the Jets’ loss on Sunday, and boom, a couple days later he was cut, cleared waivers, and was free to sign with whatever team he wished. Being a New York Jet on Sunday and then a Kansas City Chief by Thursday is like going from the mail room to CEO in four days. Also, anyone who thinks that the New York Jets Bell is going to be comparable to the Kansas City Chiefs Bell is high on crack. Bell is 28 years old, and only a few years removed from being one of the three most dynamic backs in the NFL. His workload has been light since his last year in Pittsburgh, including a year away from football and some missed time this season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Aaron Pags

Teasers and Pleasers: Week 6 Best Bets

October 15, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy |

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Welcome to Razzball’s dedicated gambling column-Teasers and Pleasers! Each Thursday during the NFL season, at 11:00 am EST, TnP will post our top bets for the upcoming week. Just sit back and win some money with us in 2020.

Last week these best bets were 2-1 against the spread, and we were 3-0 ATS on best bets for Week 4. Things are have been profitable, as TnPers are 6-2 in our last eight contests (14-7 over the previous 21). All aboard!

Whether you play fantasy football or are in the business of making player prop bets, Rudy Gamble’s Razzball Membership Tools are a must-have. He is giving away a FREE 7-day trial of all the tools you need to cash this week!

Now let’s get to it! Week 6 picks for your betting pleasure.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Barry

Sexy Flexies Week 6: Putting You Myles Ahead

October 15, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy | 12 Comments

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Are you having fun yet? We’ve made it through week 5 with the NFL stumbling ahead trying their best to avoid Covid catastrophes. We’ve had rescheduled games and now we even have RB1s getting DUIs and others getting outright released! It is making it harder and harder for us to navigate the waters and put out winning lineups in our fantasy leagues, but we are doing it and hopefully you’re doing it well. With all the injuries, planned and unplanned bye weeks and Covid uncertainty it is even more important to find productive players to put in your flex spots. But don’t worry, we are here for you my friends.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth

Week 6 Fantasy Football Rankings: Donkey Teeth

October 15, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 73 Comments

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I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest (I picked my favorite Sunday game this week since Thursday was cancelled):

Cincinnati Bengals (+8) at Indianapolis Colts

Forecast: The ghost of A.J. Green heads to Indy this weekend to train with Philly Rivers. You see, Rivers has developed an elite shot put academy where he’s training his 19 children to become shot put champions. Green, in search of a new profession, has signed on as their newest recruit. Around lunchtime on Sunday Coach Rivers will take a break to play some football. In a battle of hyped rookies, Joe Burrow will be sacked 16 times in the blow out loss while Jonathan Taylor tames the timid Bengals defense with 220 rushing yards and 3 touchdowns. Colts 42, Bengals 17

Wager:  Colts -8 (4 Units)

2020 Season: 0-5 (-4.95 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 6 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
everywhereblair

Rest of Season Top 30 Quarterbacks — Week 6

October 14, 2020 | Fantasy Football Strategy, Top 30 Quarterbacks | 12 Comments

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A lot of people think fantasy writers spend our days and nights surrounded by B-list rappers from the 2000s (I see you Chingy!), 16 big-screen TVs playing NFL Red Zone, and Mike Mayock on speed dial (does Twitter have speed dial?). OK, that’s actually how Grey and Donkey Teeth spend their days. But me? I’m a lowly midwestern Vikings fan living in Packers territory running DSL off a bankrupt company. Thanks to the novel piranhavirus that delayed the Titans/Bills game, I’m submitting this article before some of the top quarterbacks have even finished playing. But, I’m not alone in my wishes to be hanging with Luda, have a fiber connection, and a direct line to Dick Butkus (wait, did I say that last part?). Most of the fantasy world is delayed right now due to scoring glitches caused by Tuesday night football. So, let’s huddle up…no, not that close…and take a look at how the quarterbacks are shaping up for the rest of your fantasy football season. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
al_FF_red

Rest of Season Top 80 WRs: Week 6

October 14, 2020 | 2020 Fantasy Football, Rest of Season Rankings, Top 80 WR Rankings | 7 Comments

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Your WR top 80 7.0 is here! Now we not only have to deal with injuries, we have to account for COVID inactives and postponements. Tier 2 got bigger, but until the elites we are waiting on return, tier 1 remains a two man show. As a rule, injuries will always bump guys down. I am generally pessimistic that players will return on time at full strength without a setback. 

This list is not league or format specific, but it is based on 2020 rest-of-season projection only. When thinking through tiers and rankings I asked myself simply – “all things considered who would I rather have on my roster?”

Please, blog, may I have some more?
MB

Week 6 Fantasy Football Rankings: MB

October 14, 2020 | Fantasy Football Rankings, Weekly Rankings | 39 Comments

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Week 6 is here and there isn’t a lot of turn around. We already have football again on Thursday! What a game we had on Tuesday night! (I’m writing this before kick off). Did you see when Stefon Diggs made that huge 4th quarter catch? Wow, so great! How about when Derrick Henry scored his 5th touchdown? Anyways, I’m just hoping this game goes under on the total. That’s where my money is. 

So far, my rankings accuracy through four weeks went quite well. I don’t yet have the results for week 5. I’m still 15th overall in the FantasyPros accuracy contest. Prettay, Prettay, Prettay good. Donkey Teeth and Rudy Gamble had great week 4s and I hope we are able to keep our names on the top of the leaderboard often this year. When we make it big, we won’t leave the reader behind. We are a humble bunch here at Razzball. We’ll never go Pop, promise. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?